


Found Family

by ForgetmeNot_Fireweed



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Falling In Love, Fertility Issues, First Order, Found Family, Mechanic Rey, Metal band, Musician Kylo, Rey wants a baby but is single, Secret Crush, Soft Ben Solo, This idea vaguely came from an episode of New Girl, family centric, good thing her best friend is also single, guitarist Rey, no powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 156,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22746550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgetmeNot_Fireweed/pseuds/ForgetmeNot_Fireweed
Summary: At eighteen, a chance encounter with Ben Solo changed Rey's life for the better.At twenty two, having found out that her biological clock was running fast, she hopes that maybe he can change her life again.Ben Solo is the guitarist in a heavy metal band called the Knights of Ren, a group of mysterious musician's who wear masks and go by pseudonyms. He'd been on such a dark path before he encountered an orphan named Rey out in the middle of no where when his car broke down. She brought light and actual life back into his life, brought him back to his family. There's nothing he wouldn't do for her.But she’s never asked him for something so big before.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix/Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 433
Kudos: 852





	1. Tick-Tock

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So, this is the story I was talking about in my notes a few chapters back on "Not Only The Mind"! It's another family centric fic, because honestly, that's just what I'm about. But this is my first attempt at an AU, and I'm pretty excited about it. Get ready for some angst, some romance, some lemonade, and some fluff! 
> 
> That being said, I'm not sure exactly when I'll be posting the next chapter- I want to finish "Not Only The Mind" First, but that's only a few chapters away, so hopefully soon! Thanks for reading!
> 
> <3 ForgetmeNot_Fireweed

What she needed was a drink. 

Or no- not a drink, she reminded herself. That was the last thing she needed just now. She needed to give up drinking.

This wasn’t how life was supposed to work. She was twenty two, she was young, she’d gotten a stable, fair paying job at the Kessel Run auto shop. She had her whole future ahead of her. Plenty of time to buy a house and travel and party and even get married before she started the family she’d always dreamed of having. That was how life was supposed to be. 

But when has your life ever been fair, Jakkson?

A sigh fell through her lips as she absently read the menu in front of her for the hundredth time, and stared at the front door for the thousandth time. 

“You okay sunshine?” 

“Oh- Maz- I didn’t see you there.” Rey gasped, and ran her hand through her wind tousled hair. The diminutive woman gave her a smile as she adjusted her giant glasses. “I’m fine.” 

“Is that so? Because you’re here at least once a week, you always order the same thing, but today you’re reading a menu. Seems like busy work to me.” Maz leaned on the table and looked at her closely. “What’s troubling you child? You can tell old Maz anything.” 

“I got some… troubling news at the doctors today.” She finally admitted. 

“Is it serious?” 

“Not life threatening, no.” 

“That’s a relief!” Maz laughed and put a hand on hers. “I don’t know what I’d do without my Rey of sunshine.” She tried to smile back at her, truly she did. “What’s wrong child?” 

“It’s, the doctor told me, that I...well, I have a much smaller window than I expected to have children.” 

“Oh?” Maz tilted her head to the side, and received a nod in response. “How much smaller?” 

“I have maybe five years, if I’m lucky.” She feels hot tears in the corners of her eyes. “And just- that’s so soon, you know? I thought I had ten years before I even had to start thinking about-“ her head whips towards the door when the bells twinkle, and suddenly her heart feels lodged in her throat. He’s here, and she knew he’d be here, he was always there when she needed him, or even when she just wanted to see him or talk to him. He’d always been there, promised he’d always be there for her, but this was insane, absolutely mad, surely this time he’d walk away and-

“Ben Solo! Long time since you’ve graced Takodana!” Maz have her hand a gentle squeeze before she turned to face the man who stood well over two feet taller than her. “What, you become all big and famous and my food isn’t good enough for you anymore?” 

“You know that’s not true, Maz. You make the best burger in town.” He smiled at Maz and then looked to her, and his face fell ever so slightly as he took in her expression. “Rey?” 

“Well, I’ll let you get over to sunshine, and I’ll start up your regular orders then.” Maz glanced over her shoulder, and looked back to him. “Take good care of our girl. She’s had a bad day.” Maz heads back to the kitchen, and Ben slides into the booth across from her. 

“Rey, what’s wrong?” 

“No hello?” She tried, and he smacked his palm against his forehead. 

“Hello, you look like you’ve been crying.” He said seriously, his chocolate eyes colored with concern. “What is it? What’s wrong?” For a moment she just stared at him, breathing in all that he was. How handsome he was, how soft and well kept his hair was, how broad and powerful his shoulders were, and then what she knew of his heart. 

Paparazzi would have you believe that Ben Solo, or “Kylo” as he was known when he was playing with his wildly successful band “the Knights of Ren”, was a serious, cold, short tempered, somewhat cruel man; but she knew that beyond his mild temper issues, he was so much more than that. He was funny, sarcastic, passionate, and fiercely loyal to those he cared for. And compassionate- after all, he had saved her, a no one from no where. 

She would never forget the night she met him. 

_She wiped away the blood from the cuts all over her arms. Plutt had pushed her through an old junk cars window when she’d told him it was beyond her capacity to repair. She’d called Finn, And he had helped pluck out the glass before he’d had to head back to the hospital where he was working as a night janitor so he could afford to go to school. He always promised he’d get her out one day, but he could barely afford to keep himself fed, and she wouldn’t let him waste resources on her. She was fine._

_“Yeah, just kriffing fine.” She murmured through gritted teeth as she tugged her sleeve down over her cut up arms. It was a clear night out; if she was lucky she’d be able to get a fair amount of scavenging done before she absolutely had to sleep or she’d keel over. Scavenging was the only way she could make any money for herself; Plutt underpaid her for the parts, but at least he gave her something. her work in “The Outpost Garage” was for her room and board, if it could be called that. She had a roof over her head in the back of the auto shop- it wasn’t heated, but she had a little stove that did alright for her during the winter. And as far as food went, she could eat whatever Plutt and his thugs left in the fridge in his office for more than three days, and she’d found a way to rig the vending machines out front. It was a dismal existence, but what more could she do? She was eighteen years old, and she could barely read or write. She did well with numbers, and she could fix just about any engine you put in front of her, but that would only get her so far. She supposed that’s what happens when your parents abandon you to “an old friend” because they can’t possibly care for you and feed their drug habit._

_The worst part was that she still wanted them back. Even after thirteen years she’d probably accept them with open arms, and she hated herself for it._

_The rattle of the front door broke her from her thoughts and her heart started racing. It was late- the shop was long closed, but she hadn’t turned off the lights yet. It was the middle of nowhere though, and it wouldn’t be the first time she’d fended off junkies or petty theives. She grabbed her weapon of choice, a long metal rod, as she enters the main area of the garage. The rattling isn’t a rattling at all, she found, but a knock._

_“Hello?”_

_“Hey, my car broke down down the road a ways, and my phone was dead. I was hoping you had a phone I could use, or someone who could look at the car?” It was a deep voice, a mans voice that was low and soft._

_“How do I know you’re not a burglar? Or a murderer?” She questioned as her hand hovered over the lock. She’s met with a quiet chuckle._

_“I guess you just have to take my word for it.” And she opened the door. She wasn’t prepared for what she found; someone young, and good looking, who was staring at her like he wasn’t prepared for what he saw. “Hey- you- are you a mechanic?” She nodded, and cleared her throat. He could still be a murderer, or a rapist or something, but she trusted something in his eyes, which she observed to be a deep chocolate brown. And maybe he’d pay her for her trouble; money made after garage hours belonged to her and only to her._

_“I can take a look at it.” She offered, and he eyed her curiously. “What? You think because I’m a girl I can’t fix a car? Just let me grab my tools.”_

_“I’m not surprised because you’re a girl, I’m surprised because you look maybe sixteen?” He called after her and she rolled her eyes._

_“If you must know I’m eighteen. Come on then.” He reached for the tools she was now holding, and she drew them back. “What are you doing?”_

_“The car is like a mile down the road. It’s the least I can do.”_

_“I can carry them.”_

_“I’m sure that you can. But my mother raised me to be a gentleman, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to carry your kriffing tools.” She’d had to laugh at that, and he’d cracked a sideways smile at her before she eventually relinquished the toolkit to him. She locked the garage door and they set out into the night._

_“You’re not going to crazy murder me or something, are you?” She asked after a moments silence._

_“Nah. Not until after you fix the car anyways. Stupid to commit a crime without an escape plan.” She stopped walking and he groaned. “That was a joke. Probably a bad one to make right now. Honestly I’m not going to crazy murder or regular murder, or any other kind of murder you.”_

_“Cross your heart?” She asked with a little smirk on her lips, and she could make out a smile even in the dim moonlight._

_“And hope to die.” They resumed their walk in comfortable silence. “What’s your name?”_

_“Rey.”_

_“Ray?”_

_“R. E. Y.”_

_“Unusual.” He observed, and she shrugged, gritting her teeth as the motion pulled at some of her scabbing cuts._

_“What’s your name?”_

_“It’s Ben.”_

“Earth to Rey?” Ben’s concerned voice snapped her out of her reminiscing. “You’re acting weird, seriously, what’s bothering you?”

“I need...I need a favor.” 

_Kriff why was this so hard- maybe she shouldn’t ask- maybe it just-_

“Anything.” He said at once. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand in his. 

“Don’t be so eager when you don’t know what I’m asking.” She cautioned and he rolled his eyes. “I had my appointment at the doctors today.” 

“Yeah, I remember. You told me last night, and I believe you sent me a text that read “I hate the doctor, please kill me now” before you got there.” He chuckled, but then his face grew serious. “Sorry, continue.”

“Well it wasn’t just a doctor, it was...a lady parts doctor, remember?” She said with a blush coloring her cheeks. She focused on the warmth of his hand folded around hers; it wasn’t as if this was the first time their skin had made contact, so why was her heart hammering so hard? “Kaydel read an article about reproductive health and fertility, got more freaked out than before, and she insisted that we all go get looked at as some sort of woman power thing.” 

“Yeah, you told me last night when I was driving you home, remember?” She risked a glance at his face, and her heart felt like it might burst. 

“I didn’t think they’d find anything- or I didn’t think I needed to know anything, but then I found out that...if I want to start a family I need to do it. Immediately.” His grip on her hand went slack. 

“What- okay. Um, right. What?” He stammered, and she licked her lips and took a deep breath before she dared continue. 

“If I’m ever going to have kids, I need to get pregnant. Like...yesterday.” She explained, feeling her cheeks grow even warmer. 

“And that’s something that you want?” He asked softly, reaching for her hand again. 

“Yeah. Yes.” Her voice is merely a broken whisper. “I always knew I wanted a family of my own, but I uh, I didn’t even realize how much I wanted it until they told me I wouldn’t be able to in a few years. But I want to be a mom. I want to do the whole damn thing, you know, pregnancy and birth and diapers and all that.” 

“How much do you need?” 

“How much what do I need?” She asked, taken aback. 

“Money? I assume you need money for a donor or for insemination.” He said it all with a clinically detached voice that made her chest sting. “Do you have a place you’re thinking of going? Because you should look into all of that very carefully. I can have someone look into it for you if you want.” 

“Ben, I’m not asking for a loan.” 

“You don’t have to worry about paying me back, Rey. If this really means so much to you then I’ll just, give you the money. Consider it a Christmas present.” He shrugged. “If that’s what you really want. You’ve thought over this carefully? It’s a big commitment, Rey.” 

“I know it’s a big commitment! Don’t talk to me like I’m a kid who wants to get a dog, Ben. I’ve thought this all through. With my money from the shop it’s only gonna be a few months at most before I can afford my place alone, and with Rose moving out to live with Finn, I’d have two bedrooms. You know that your dad would let me keep the baby with me at work, Hell, he’d probably let me make his office into a nursery if I asked, and I finally have health insurance, so If I’m going to do it there’s nothing stopping me except for the fact that I don’t have a baby daddy.” 

“Of course- Rey, of course you can do it. Of course you’ve thought it through. Rey, I think you’re going to be a terrific mother. Seriously.” He insisted, squeezing her hand for good measure. “I’ll support you one hundred percent if this is what you want, you know that. You know me.” 

“I do. I know you better than anyone, don’t I?” 

“You know you do.” He rolled his eyes and smiled at her. They’re briefly disrupted by a waiter dropping their food at the table. She picks at her turkey club and fries but finds she can’t stomach much. “So, you’re gonna have a kid, huh?”

“Mhm.” 

“You started looking at donors yet? I’m sure they have some good ones. Literal rocket scientists or something.” He’s trying desperately to joke with her. She can hear it in his tone. “Rey?”

_Come on Jakkson, don’t be a wuss! Ask now or never, and never isn’t an option!_

“I don’t want to have a rocket scientists baby.” 

“I was just-“ 

“I want to have yours.”


	2. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The silence that followed the clatter of his flatware against the table was deafening. He stared at her for a good three minutes, and Rey swore she could hear the literal ticking of a clock counting each impossibly long second that his wide chocolate eyes took her in.
> 
> “What?” He finally asked, his voice a higher octave than normal, though still substantially deeper than some men’s. 
> 
> “You heard me.” She grumbled.
> 
> “Rey this isn’t the time to play shy, okay?” He scoffed, running his fingers through his hair- a sign of nerves. “I need you to be very, very clear with me right now. Please.” "
> 
> Following Rey's big question, Ben has some questions of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Good news, my other story "Not Only The Mind" is now completed, which means it's time to start posting here! I'm hoping to get on a weekly schedule, but I'm not sure what that will look like quite yet. Any ways, this is a nice long chapter, so I hope you enjoy!

The silence that followed the clatter of his flatware against the table was deafening. He stared at her for a good three minutes, and Rey swore she could hear the literal ticking of a clock counting each impossibly long second that his wide chocolate eyes took her in.

“What?” He finally asked, his voice a higher octave than normal, though still substantially deeper than some men’s. 

“You heard me.” She grumbled.

“Rey this isn’t the time to play shy, okay?” He scoffed, running his fingers through his hair- a sign of nerves. “I need you to be very, very clear with me right now. Please.” 

“I’ve thought about it, and I don’t want to have some strangers baby that my kid has to go hunting for if they want to know about their genetics. What if I accidentally choose a closet junkie or pervert or something?” She tapped her fingers nervously against her thigh. “And not having my parents- not even knowing who they are or if they’re alive or dead, It’s really messed me up, Ben, I mean, for so long I felt so worthless because they didn’t want me, and I know it’s not the same situation at all, and I think its amazing that women can do this alone if they want to, but in an ideal world, my baby would have their mother and their father in their life. So it has to be someone I know. Someone I trust implicitly.” 

“Why not Finn? Or Poe?” He asked, and from where she sat she could almost see that his mind was working a thousand miles per second trying to process this new information. 

“They’re like brothers to me- and they’re in committed relationships, not that I think Rose or Kaydel would really forbid them from doing it, but I think it’d be weird for them.” She shrugged. “Especially since I know Poe and Kaydel have been talking about trying after the wedding, and Rose and Finn are moving in together- it’d be too weird for one of them to be a step mom of sorts for my kid. It’d be weird. And I mean, you’re older than Finn and more settled than Poe and you’re not seeing anyone, and you haven’t been for a long time, so...” 

“I see. So since I’m thirty and perpetually single this is my last ditch chance to have a child?” He asked as his eyes narrowed. 

“No! Shit- no, Ben that’s not what I meant even a little bit!” She groaned. “It’s just that… there is no one else on earth that I trust the way that I trust you. Since the moment we met, I trusted you, and growing up like I did, that’s unusual. It took a full year before I even learned Finns name for heavens sake! And you’re so good and kind hearted, and funny, and Lord knows you’re handsome, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why you’re single when I know for a fact there are tons of women throwing themselves at you-“

“Not at me. At Kylo Ren.” 

“Who is a part of you...the dark part.” She huffed a little laugh.

“Well it’s easy to throw yourself at a multimillionaire in a mask, isn’t it? If they could see all of this…” he gestured to his face in a broad sort of way. “It wouldn’t be nearly so tempting.”

“You can’t be serious- Ben- do you have any idea how attractive you are?” She asked. 

“I’m not. I’m just...big.” His cheeks flushed, and if his hair was tucked behind his ear, she knew they’d be bright pink. “I think people get distracted by that, and don’t take the time to really look at my face. I probably don’t have the best genetics to pass on to any kid.”

“I vehemently object.” She shook her head.

“On what grounds?” He cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms over his, admittedly, big chest.

“On the grounds that every where we go, I have to put up with women flirting with you and slipping you their kriffing numbers! And on the grounds that I have eyes, and I can see your kriffing face!” She insisted, and then her voice turned gentler. “But physical things aside, Ben, I know you. And I know you’d be an amazing father.” 

“You’re serious? You seriously want me to be the father?” She nodded slowly. “Your friends hate me.” 

“They don’t hate you! Well… Poe was your friend before he was mine.” He gave her a dubious look. “Childhood friends that you don’t see for ten years still count as friends! And Kaydel and Rose like you, and they’d like you more if you’d loosen up a little bit. Finn is just eternally grateful but also a little bitter that you got me out of Plutts hands when he couldn’t, and you intimidate him with your Alpha male vibes.” 

“ “Alpha male vibes”?” He asked, arching a brow at her. 

“I mean, you are sort of physically massive- not fat I mean, of course not. You’re entirely muscle, and...I should stop talking now, I think.” She buried her face in her hands, since that was the only way she could possibly hide her blush from him at this point. 

“Rey, will you come out of there please?” He asked softly, and she lowered her hands slowly. “You would want me to be...involved?” She nodded. “What does that mean?”

“That they’d know you. That they’d see you often enough to know you, that maybe you’d let them call you dad or papa or father or whatever the hell they want to call you. If you were comfortable with that, you don’t have to, they could just call you Ben, I- Just...that you spend time with them- most of all that they know who you are- that they know you exist, that you give a damn about them. I know how good you are at caring for people, Ben.” He said nothing for a long minute. 

“My own relationship with my parents was really bad when I was younger, Rey. I don’t know how to be a father. I dont know how to be what you’d need me to be.” His face is always so expressive- he can't hide anything from anyone, but especially not her.

“I don’t buy that- I’m not talking about your relationship with your parents, I know that you had a hard time with that for a long time. But I think, if you wanted to be, you’d be an amazing father.” She reached across the table to put her hand on top of his. 

“And you deserve to be a mom. If that’s what you want, but…”

“But?”

“You deserve to have time to find someone that you actually want to do this with-“

“Why can’t I want to do this with you?” She scoffed, and he started to protest. “Really, think about it- there are a lot of people out there that successfully co parent, and a lot of the time they love each other a lot less than you and I do. Because you, you’re my best friend, Ben. And I trust you. I trust you with my life, and I’d trust you with the life of my child, too. Even if you didn’t want to be a hands on dad, I know that you’d be there for the important things. I know you’d care.” 

“I would want to be.” He said suddenly. 

“To be what?” She asked nervously. 

“A hands on dad. I...I grew up without very hands on parents. I always told myself if I had a kid or kids someday, I’d be around- I’d be better for them than my parents were for me.” He sighed. His thumb traced absent circles on the back of her hand, and her whole arm broke out in goosebumps. He’s staring intently at a little discolored patch on the table, not meeting her eyes. “I know those thoughts stem from when I was younger, more bitter, but even if I’ve forgiven my parents, and our relationship is the best it’s been since before I could talk, the sentiment is still there.”

“It’s okay, Ben. Just because you’ve moved on and forgiven doesn’t mean you have to forget everything.” She said softly, and his eyes slowly moved to hers. “I know what you’ve been through- how you grew up, and how it made you who you are. How it led you down dark paths. But you are...Ben, you’re a good man. The best.” 

“Not good enough for you.” He teased, and she rolled her eyes at him. “Rey, this is…”

“You can take time to think about it, if you need, but if you’re going to say no, I guess I’d rather know sooner than later so I can figure out other options I guess.” 

“No.” Her heart dropped into her stomach. Of course she’d known it was a very real possibility that he’d refuse her- she’d been preparing herself for that since she’d formulated this plan earlier that day. But suddenly she felt bereft of something she’d never even had- of the idea of the little black haired brown eyed baby that she wanted so badly. She composed herself quickly, clearing her throat and taking her hand from his.

“Oh- I...that’s fine, it’s fine I don’t-“ Kriff, was she crying? He couldn’t see her cry over this! She started to fish around her pockets for her wallet to pay for her mostly untouched meal. “I should go, I-“

“No, shit, no, I mean, I don’t need to think about it. I’ll do it.” 

“You- you’ll do it?” Her jaw went slack. He shrugged, trying and failing to seem casual. 

“My moms been hounding me about giving her grandkids, and honestly, I’m no where close to settling down. My parents love you, and they’d be thrilled to have your progeny in their family.” 

“You should think about it for the night, Ben. It’s a big choice.” 

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a kid trying to get a puppy.” He shot her own words back at her and she smiled tremulously at him. “You’re right, Rey. The day we met, I felt it too. Like the universe wanted us to meet. Maybe this is why. Maybe our kriffing kid is going to cure cancer or invent laser swords or something. I could think about it for a night or for a month, and I’d come to the same conclusion. I’m in.” 

“You’re...you’re in?” She reiterated, afraid he’d change his mind suddenly and stifle the burning hope in her chest. 

“Yeah- yes- I mean, why not? You’ve made a lot of good points. You want someone you know and trust, and that’s understandable, and of your male friends I am the only one who isn’t in a committed relationship. It makes sense. And it’s not like it’s a bad time to have a kid- maker knows I can afford it.” He shrugged again, the gesture a little stiff and awkward. 

“Again, I want to make it very clear that I’m not asking you because of your money- I don’t need your money.” She insisted. 

“If you think I’m going to have a kid with you and not give you both financial support then you’re sorely mistaken, Jakkson.” He smirked at her as he spoke, and her heart fluttered rapidly in her chest- did he have to be so kriffing beautiful?! “Not that I think you couldn’t handle it on your own, I know you could, you’re very frugal and responsible- but also, I am a multimillionaire, Rey, and that money might as well go towards something important. Someone important.” 

“Ben!” She almost leapt across the table to get to him, But she forced herself to get up and slide in next to him before attacking him with the biggest hug she can manage. He wrapped her in his arms and pressed his lips to her temple, and- oh- he’d never done that before. It felt nice, like home after a long days work. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” 

“Anything for you.” He whispered, and she felt a pleasant shiver run up her spine. She breathed in his scent, familiar and comforting and gets lost in it for a minute. 

_He’d given her a hundred dollars for fixing his car even though she’d insisted it was too much. He’d insisted it wasn’t enough. It was easily twice the amount she usually managed to save in a month. He’d insisted on driving her home, even though she refused, knowing he would judge her when she directed him back to the shop. But he didn’t. He just shrugged and opened the door for her. She climbed in while he walked around to his side, and when he turned it on the radio started playing._

_“You listen to this?” She asked, surprised when the gentle strains of John Denver started pouring through the speakers._

_“It’s soothing.” He defended himself and she smiled at him._

_“He’s my favorite.”_

_“Aren’t you a little young to be a John Denver fan?”_

_“Oh, and How old are you, sixty?”_

_“Twenty seven, actually.”_

_“So shouldn’t you be listening to some rap or metal or something?” She teased. They’d fallen into such an easy pattern of conversation since they’d said their names. It was like she’d known him all her life. “I could find a more suitable channel for you.” She reached for the knob, pinching it between her fingers and he grabbed her wrist, his hold gentle and entirely escapable._

_“Don’t you dare.” He cautioned with a smirk. She kept her eyes locked with his as she turned the dial one over, finding some truly terrible country music and he groaned. “See what you did? Now you’re just hurting yourself.”_

_“I’ve survived worse than a little country music.” She laughed, but suddenly his mood seemed to change, and she wondered as he pulled to the side of the road if she’d read him all wrong and he really was going to crazy murder her. He clicked the interior light._

_“I can see that.” His voice was tight, and she followed his sight line down to his hand, which was covered in blood, which was currently flowing from her wrist again. He took her hand in his and very slowly inched the sleeve up, revealing the web of damage that ran up her arm. “Rey?”_

_“It’s fine.” She insisted lamely._

_“Like hell its fine- these cuts are deep, you probably need stitches! Is it the other arm too?”_

_“It’s nothing- I was going to wrap them but then you came to the door.”_

_“I’m taking you to the hospital.”_

_“You can’t!” She exclaimed, tears running from her eyes to her cheeks. “I can’t afford it.” His eyes narrowed._

_“Doesn’t your boss give you insurance?”_

_“My “boss” doesn’t even pay me!”_

_“I can pay.” He said firmly._

_“That- that’s not all of it- it’s a mess, Ben. I’m not- you see it’s… oh!” She found herself spilling her entire life story to him. How her earliest memories were in London, but then they’d come to the states when she was around four and her parents had just been at the beginning of their addictions. It had grown steadily worse until they’d all but traded her to Plutt for some drug money, and she was left without citizenship, without family, without any means to get by on her own. One wrong move and she’d be deported, and then she wouldn’t even have Finn, the only friend she had. “I’m sorry- I must sound crazy just going on like this to a stranger, but I can’t go to the hospital. I have no ID, no money, no next of kin or emergency contact. I have nothing. I’m nothing.”_

_“Not to me.”_

_“You don’t even know me!”_

_“But it feels like I do! Maybe In another life or some crazy shit like that, but I feel like there’s something about you- I’m not letting you go back to that asshole. Your arms do need medical attention.”_

_“I don’t exactly have a choice here, Ben, I can’t go to a hospital-“_

_“We don’t need a hospital. Come on, we’ll get your stuff and we’ll get you to the city. My parents have a big guest room and my dad has plenty of...questionable contacts, any number of whom can provide discrete medical attention.”_

_“But Plutt- he would be so angry- he’d turn me in in a heart beat!”_

_“Then its a good thing my mother has plenty of important legal contacts.”_

_“Legal contacts?”_

_“She’s uh, she’s sort of well, she’s a senator.”_

_“Hold on a kriffing second, Leia Organa is your mother?”_

_“You’ve heard of her?”_

_“Who lives in this freaking country and hasn’t heard of her? She’s the only female senator for the state! She’s on the radio at the garage at least once a week!”_

_“Look, Rey, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I really just want to help. Honestly.”_

_“Why?”_

_“I don’t really know. But I do know that I can’t just drop you back off at that dump heap garage with an abusive monster and bleeding arms. I can see that you’re worth so much more than that, Rey. I want to help you. Please.” She threw her arms around his neck then, and he lifted his arms slowly to return the embrace._

His scent hadn’t changed since the first hug, though their relationship was closer. He was her best friend, her knight in shining armor, her teacher, and now, he just might be the father of her child. After her tears abated, she untangled herself from him and went to nibble on her rapidly cooling fries. 

“So. How do you want to handle this?” He asked, his food apparently forgotten. 

“Oh- um, right. Details.” 

“Do you want me to have my assistant look into clinics?” 

“No- no. This seems too personal for that.” She shook her head rapidly. 

“Okay, do you want me to find one?” He tried and she felt her face heat up like crazy. “Rey?”

“I, Um... I thought that maybe...I don’t know how you’d feel...I...this…” She huffed in frustration. 

“Rey? You okay? You’re not having a stroke or something?” He teased, but there was a real glint of concern in his eye. 

“Actually I was thinking that maybe, If you wanted to, we could try uh, skipping the clinic. Cutting out the middle man as it were.” She explained, and he stared at her blankly. “I just… I can’t imagine starting my family in some sterile white room with fluorescent light and my feet in stirrups. I’ve given up so much of how I dreamed about all of this because I don’t have time and I just thought maybe we could just...do it ourselves.” 

“ “Do it ourselves”?” He repeated, his brow wrinkled as he thought. 

“Shit- I don’t want you to think this was some weird elaborate set up or something because it’s not- it isn’t- I didn’t even think beyond asking because I didn’t even know if you’d say yes, and now I’ve gone and suggested- Just forget I said anything, I’ll look up clinics, it’s fine.” She shook her head and looked away from him. 

“Rey. I’m going to need you to stop talking in circles and just tell me exactly what you’re thinking.” He said evenly. 

“I’m a virgin.” She said suddenly, whipping her head around to look at him again, and he seemed to choke on the air he was breathing. “And I feel like I probably want to take care of that, before you know, the baby.” 

“Take care of that?” He repeated carefully. “What does that mean exactly?” 

“I’m ovulating. If we wanted to, we could just, just...give it a shot.” She waited for him to talk, and when he didn’t she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I mean, I know you’ve never made any romantic advances to me and I’ve never made any to you, but I mean, we’re like, best friends- at least, you’re my best friend, and I uh, I trust you and you already know I think you’re good looking so, I guess if you’re not attracted to me that’s fine and I can just find a clinic or something for next month- If you even still want to do this now that I’ve suggested that you’re attracted to me-“

“I am.” 

“You are...what?” 

“Attracted to you.” He said shyly, and she knew the blush on his cheeks ran to his ears, Adorable oversized ears she sort of hoped her baby would inherit, but she also wondered how far down his chest the blush ran after it disappeared under his shirt. “You’re beautiful.” 

“You don’t have to say that.” 

“I wanted to.”

“So, are you saying that we should do this?” Without another word he rose from his seat, tossed a wad of bills on the table, and reached for her hand. 

“Let’s get out of here.” She took his hand in less than no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to keep a running tally of the real world songs mentioned in this fic down here at the notes in the bottom so you can listen along, as it were! (This song was not mentioned by name, but it's what was playing in the car during the flashback)
> 
> 1\. "Leaving, On A Jet Plane" By John Denver


	3. Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " “You’re clean, right?” 
> 
> “I wouldn’t consider doing this if I wasn’t.” He scoffed, and then ran a hand over his face before tugging his fingers through his hair again.
> 
> “Right. Of course.” She nodded breathlessly. 
> 
> “Just how much experience do you have in this department?” He asked. If her face wasn’t flushed before, she was sure it was now.
> 
> “Uh- I’ve made out with a few guys. Some heavy petting I guess.” 
> 
> “Heavy petting? Are you actually seventy five years old?” He laughed in exasperation.
> 
> “Did you want me to use bases?” She arched an eyebrow at him. “I guess I’ve never made it past second, if that’s what you’re asking.” 
> 
> “Over the shirt or under?”
> 
> “...Over.”
> 
> “So no one’s ever touched your bare skin? Anywhere?” He asked, his voice a little strained before he cleared his throat. 
> 
> “Doctors.” She shrugged, and he rolled his eyes. “But no. Not in a uh- um romantic sort of a situation.”"
> 
> Things shift for Rey and Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm back with another chapter for you! I want to take a second to thank every single person who has taken the time to leave kudos or a comment- honestly, I feel so humbled and honored that you're enjoying this weird brain child of mine! See you all again soon!

_He’d helped her find a safe place to live. He helped her study for her GED. He got her a job at his fathers garage, and he helped her get a work visa, and wanted nothing in return, except maybe her company which she was more than happy to give him. Finn teased her and told her she better not be replacing him as her best friend, but the truth was that Ben’s kindness, Ben’s friendship had eclipsed all others. Finn would always be one of her closest friends, her first friend, but there was no doubt in her mind that Benjamin Solo had swept into her life three months ago and become her best friend._

_So maybe that’s why it hurt so much to find out about his career from his mother instead of him. She’d mentioned it so casually over one of their bi-weekly cups of tea,_

_“Oh, I know Ben will be on tour for three months starting next week, but you know you’re absolutely welcome to come over for dinner any time you want to.” Rey had sputtered into her tea. Leia pat her back gently as she huffed and cleared her throat._

_“He’s leaving?”_

_“Yes- he didn’t tell you?” Rey shook her head. “His band is going on its first over seas tour. Asia. Apparently they have a huge following there. They’re hoping next year they’ll break into the European market.”_

_“H-his band?” Rey whispered, and Leia looked troubled._

_“The knights of Ren?” Her porcelain tea cup slipped from her fingers so quickly that she hardly had time to react before the hot, sticky, sugary liquid landed on her lap and on her nicest jeans._

_“Oh son of a bitch!” She hissed. “at least the cup isn’t broken.”_

_“Oh but it’s all over your lovely sweater. Come on, I’ll put it in the wash. I’ll find something for you to wear while it runs.”_

_“No, I couldn’t impose-“ Leia held up her hand in a universal gesture meaning cease and desist._

_“It’s no trouble Rey. You’re like a daughter to me. Nothing is trouble for family.” She’d wanted to cry then for several reasons, the least of which being Ben’s lie, or lie by omission. They’d never talked about his career really. He’d just said he was an artist, but she’d never asked what kind. They talked about much deeper stuff than that; favorite flavors of ice cream, biggest fears, first childhood memories. Everything and nothing. But he didn’t tell her he was in the knights of ren? The mysterious mask wearing metal band?_

_Leia insisted she take a quick shower, after all the nearly full cup of tea had soaked through her clothes, and while the water heated up she grabbed her phone and googled the band._

_There were four members. Hux, Phasma, Kylo, And Savage. They all wore masks and a lot of black. She ruled out Phasma immediately, the one in the chrome colored mask. The lead singer was obviously female, and therefore not Ben. Hux, the bassist, was far too skinny, and the drummer, Savage, had dark skin peeking out from beneath his torn up black jeans. Her eyes land on the guitarist, holding a blazing red guitar, his shoulders slumped in that stiff, Familiar way, and she knew without a doubt that this… ”Kylo Ren” is Ben Solo. Her Ben. Without thinking she clicked on an available playlist and set her phone down before she hops into the shower. The music is harsh, loud, headache inducing almost, but she has to admit, it’s technically very good. And then there was a guitar solo, and she found herself sinking to her knees on the shower floor and listening with her eyes closed as the sound washed over her like the water. It was easily the most impressive thing she’d ever heard, and it had been Ben- or Kylo, or whoever the hell he was._

_She could tell that the old clothes Leia had left for her were Ben’s when he was younger. A pair of flannel black and red pajama pants that were so long she had to cuff them four times, and a black crew neck sweater with his university on the chest and sleeves that had to be rolled as many times as the pants. She let her feet carry her through the hall, and she stopped when she noticed a door opened that’d never been opened before._

_Ben’s childhood bedroom._

_She wandered in without thinking, taking in the details of the dusty room. A twin bed with a red comforter and- oh my gosh, he’d had outer space sheets? Not surprising really, since there were planet and nasa posters on the wall, mingling with posters of music festivals and artists from before he’d been born. Her eyes fell on a guitar on a stand in the corner. An old acoustic with a pale blue face. She picked it up and smiled as the weight of it settled in her arms. She’d had a guitar when she was younger- or she’d had a junker she’d found while scavenging that never stayed in tune but was her prized possession until Plutt smashed it in retaliation for something she’d supposedly done to ruin his day. She formed a shaky chord with trembling fingers, and strummed lightly, finding it only mildly off tune. She adjusted and tried it again, louder this time, and grinned as she settled on the edge of the twin mattress._

_It was amazing how quickly it came back to her, the progression of the chords from songs she’d known for as long as she can remember. She got lost in them, and she might have sat there for minutes or for hours._

_“You didn’t tell me you could play.” She cut the song off and looked up at Ben, standing in the doorway with a wistful look on his face._

_“I can’t really.”_

_“You can. That was amazing.” He stepped in and sat on the floor by her feet. “You’re unrefined, but that’s an easy fix, with practice. You need a teacher. I could show you a thing or two.”_

_“Mmm, I don’t know. “Star killer” isn’t really my sort of music.” She saw the color drain from his face. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were Kylo Ren?”_

_“Rey-“_

_“I know you’re secretive about it, or that’s what the articles about you say, but you could have told me. I told you everything.”_

_“It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you, Rey. It’s because I...Ben Solo isn’t great with people. Granted, Kylo isn’t either, but for some reason people love the persona- but Ben Solo, he’s...he’s not anything special.” He stared at his hands and she worked her jaw, trying to come up with words to berate him about how wrong he was. “I’ve told a handful of people, since the band blew up, and it’s always changed things. They don’t want Ben anymore once they realize that they could have Kylo, with the parties, the lavish gifts and money, and the perceived power that he has. I cut those people out of my life, but even thinking about you doing the same; you’re different than anyone else I’ve ever met. I could never cut you out of my life, not even if you were trying to bleed me dry.”_

_“Idiot! If I wasn’t holding a guitar I’d punch your lights out.” She shook her head and leaned awkwardly around the guitar to put her hand on his shoulder. “I listened to the music. Ben, you play really well.”_

_“You liked it?”_

_“I liked your guitar...the songs were...dark. Too dark for me.” She said, and he laughed. “What?”_

_“You’re the only person other than my parents who would dare say that to my face- everyone else goes on and on about how terrific it all is, and some of it is, but not you. I should have known.”_

_“You should have.” She said, her voice still hurt._

_“I’m sorry.” He said genuinely._

_“Forgiven.” She nodded once, and looked at the guitar in her hands again._

_“You should keep it.”_

_“What- I- no, I couldn’t! It’s yours, it’s too expensive!” She sputtered though her heart leapt._

_“It was mine, but it’s actually too small for me now. It was my first guitar, got it when I was maybe ten? I have two acoustics at home that are actually the right size for me. Blue isn’t really my color these days. Etcetera. I could come up with more reasons why you should have it, or you could just kriffing take it.” He deadpanned. “The only condition is you play for me.”_

_“I don’t know, a lowly car mechanic playing for Kylo Ren?” She smirked._

_“No. Just Rey, playing for Ben.”_

“You’re really sure about this?” He asked for the dozenth time as they rode the elevator to his penthouse. 

“I’m positive.” She assured him again, looking down to where their fingers were still threaded together. The touch was casual, but she swore electricity was coursing from every point of contact between their skin. “Are you not sure?” 

“No, I am. I just- I feel like there’s so much to discuss, Rey. Beyond actually conceiving, there’ll be an actual tiny human we’re responsible for. There’ll be logistics.” The elevator opened into his place, a luxury of the ridiculously wealthy, and he pulled her towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. She sat herself on the edge of his kitchen island, and crossed her legs. 

“Alright, logistics, go.” 

“Alright- last name. Is it yours? Hyphenated?”

“Solo.” He blinked at her. “I mean, if that’s alright with you. I- my parents never did a damn thing for me, and honestly, Jakkson, spelled with two Ks? What is that? And your parents, your whole family mean so much to me. Solo is a legacy I’d like to pass on. I’m alright if Jakkson stops with me.” She took the offered glass of wine and swirled it around a few times. “Provided you’re okay with it?” 

“Solo it is.” He agreed, and she noticed his eyes flit to the pad attached to the refrigerator.

“You want to take notes, don’t you?” 

“This is a huge life decision!” He defended, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 

“Such a dork.” She smiled into her wine glass and took a small sip. “Well go on then. Wow me with your impeccable calligraphy.” 

“I’m only using a pencil, so it’s technically not calligraphy.” He smirked as he grabbed the notepad. She rolled her eyes fondly.

“You’re an ass.” She watched intently as he wrote last name- Solo in flawless handwriting. “Alright. One down. What else?” 

“Religion?” 

“I don’t have one. Your mom is catholic- should we baptize it?” 

“It’d make her happy, if that’s what we’re concerned about.” He frowned. 

“Do you think we shouldn’t?” 

“I don’t know. I… I don’t practice, but I do find the faith...comforting. When I was younger, when my parents were fighting, I used to run away to our church, and I’d just sit there. Sometimes I’d play the piano. I wasn’t supposed to, but the old nun who was the caretaker, she always let me. It would really please my mother if we did and I...I think maybe I’d like it too.” He looked down at his fingers then, and she put a hand on top of his.

“Alright. Yes.” He noted it down.

“Name ideas?”

“I don’t think I have any yet. I mean, I am still young and I didn’t think I’d have to think about this for a while- which isn’t to say I’m not ready to do this now, I am, I just don’t know what name I’d go with.” She explained. “Do you have something you like?”

“No, not particularly. Besides, you’re the one who’s going to have to do most of the work, I think it’s probably fair if you get to choose.”

“That’s not how I want this to work.” She said firmly. “If you want to be a hands on parent-“

“Which I do.” 

“Then this is a partnership. An equal partnership. I want us to work together.” She insisted. “And make choices together. Everything from the name to what pediatrician we go to should be a Team decision, okay?”

“Okay.” He was smiling slightly, just a little ghost of a hopeful smile that made her heart feel full. “And on that note- pediatricians and stuff, I want you both on my insurance.”

“I have insurance, Ben. Good insurance.” 

“Yes, but if you’re on mine too, you’re double ensured. Everything should be covered. And then our kid would be double covered too. It just makes sense.” She frowned and looked at her hands. “Alright, what’s that face about?”

“I just don’t want anyone to think I’m using you because of your fancy house and expensive insurance and money and connections. I don’t care about any of that. I don’t.” She looked up to see his eyes boring into her intently. “I just want you by my side in all of this- helping me. Being my best friend. Loving this baby, giving them the things they need to live the best life possible. I want to be able to sit with you after we finally get this crying little kid with a flu down for the night together, and drink a glass of wine and play some music together maybe. I just want you, Ben. Not any of your stuff or your money.”

“You already told me that you weren’t after my money.” He huffed. “Which honestly, after four years of friendship isn’t something you need to tell me. I know how stubborn you are about taking anything you see as charity. And your friends, and my family, they all know you, Rey. They know you’re stubborn as hell and nothing, not even money could convince you to have my baby if you didn’t want to. I still hardly believed you’d want to- but…”

“What?” She asked softly. 

“Better me than some stranger.” He shrugged as he looked back to his note pad quickly, avoiding her eyes. “Custody?” 

“Oh- um- shared? I mean, she’ll have to be with me while you’re on tour and stuff, but we already spend a lot of time together, so it’d just be like usual, except we bring along a baby?” 

“And what about when they’re newborn? Are you going to take care of them all by yourself? All night?” 

“Right- Well, you could stay over at my place, or we could stay over here. We’ll both get time with her, Ben. She’ll be ours.” 

“What if you get married?” 

“I’m not seeing anyone.” She frowned.

“Not right now, but undoubtedly you will be someday, Rey. Someone is going to fall madly, passionately in love with you, and you’re going to love them back just as madly, because that’s who you are. You never do things by halves.” Her heart seemed to pound a little faster. 

“You might get married well before I do.” She tried not to let the pain the idea caused her slip through. She was so close to getting what she wanted so badly- what she had wanted for a long time.

“I won’t.” He says it with such resoluteness that it almost makes her sad, that this man, this beautiful man doesn’t think himself worthy of love like that.

“If one of us gets married then- then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” She shook her head to clear the rampage of thought, and set her wine glass to the side, mindful of her need to be sober for a myriad of reasons. “Ben, this bond between us, it’s strong. It’s not going to change, no matter what. No matter who comes along, you will always be my best friend. The father of my child.” Saying it out loud made it feel oh so very real, and when she laid her hand on his cheek she found him trembling- but she was too. Sitting propped on the edge of the island put her at exactly the right height to lean in, and press her lips to his very softly. His reaction was instantaneous, his hands found her hips and he pulled her towards him. Her legs parted of their own volition, inviting him into the space between them. 

This isn’t her first kiss; she’d kissed Finn once when she was seventeen, and she’d made out with a few men while she was drunk at parties full of acquaintances, but this, this was very different. Completely sober and hyper aware of her every movement, she was a live wire in his hands. His lips were as soft and full as she’d imagined they would be. And to say he knew how to use them was an understatement. 

“You’re really sure about this?” He asked another time. 

“I want you to be the father.” She nodded. 

“This is a little more than that. We could do this in a clinic or something. You’re not just asking me to be the father of your child, you’re asking me to be your first, Rey.” 

“I know. I’m not taking it lightly, Ben. I trust you. I care about you; you’re so good to me, and you’re the best person in my life. I know a lot of girls who can’t speak so highly of their first.” She brushed her thumb over his lips “I want you. I want you and I’ve dreamed of this before, and maybe I should be embarrassed to admit that, but I’m not. Do you know why? It’s because we don’t have secrets, Ben. You know all of my mind and my soul. If you want me, there’s no reason you shouldn’t know my body too.” He let out a quiet hum from deep in his chest, and caught her lips once again. She let her fingers move up to thread through his beautifully soft hair, and a quiet moan escaped her against his mouth. He answered by pulling her impossibly closer, crushing her against his chest, but she wouldn’t have asked him to loosen his hold for all of the diamonds in the world. His fingers moved beneath the hem of her oversized navy sweater, his cold hands finding her overheated skin and making her jump just enough to break the kiss.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t you dare.” She laughed lightly, taking the absence of his mouth against hers as an opportunity to trace the panes of his face with her fingertips. “I should have expected it. For someone who’s basically a walking heater, you always have the coldest hands.” Her thumb trailed the scar that ran across his face, dividing his features. 

“Stop that.” 

“I don’t know why you’re self conscious about it. It honestly makes you look a little dangerous. It’s um, it’s sort of sexy.” The blush crept into her cheeks, and he smiled crookedly at her. 

“So you want to have sex with me, but you can’t say the word sexy without choking on it?” 

“Shut up.” 

“It’s adorable.” 

“Shut up.” She said again, this time tugging his face back to hers with new found determination. His lips were like fire as they broke from hers and trailed down her throat, and she tipped her head back to allow him better access. He gently bit the juncture of her neck and shoulder and she gasped, her back arching as the sensation flooded through her. “Ben!” His only response was to lift her under the thighs and carry her through his home to his bedroom. She’d been in here before, but she’d never been on his bed- never lingered in the room either. It hadn’t seemed right- it was his space. But now He deposited her gently on the edge of the bed, like she was meant to be there, and they regarded each other for a moment. “You’re clean, right?” 

“I wouldn’t consider doing this if I wasn’t.” He scoffed, and then ran a hand over his face before tugging his fingers through his hair again.

“Right. Of course.” She nodded breathlessly. 

“Just how much experience do you have in this department?” He asked. If her face wasn’t flushed before, she was sure it was now.

“Uh- I’ve made out with a few guys. Some heavy petting I guess.” 

“Heavy petting? Are you actually seventy five years old?” He laughed in exasperation.

“Did you want me to use bases?” She arched an eyebrow at him. “I guess I’ve never made it past second, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“Over the shirt or under?”

“...Over.”

“So no one’s ever touched your bare skin? Anywhere?” He asked, his voice a little strained before he cleared his throat. 

“Doctors.” She shrugged, and he rolled his eyes. “But no. Not in a uh- um romantic sort of a situation.” 

“But you’ve touched yourself before?” He asked in a tone she could only describe as clinical. 

“Ben!” She gasped.

“What?”

“That’s...personal.” He gave her an incredulous look and she bit her lip before sighing. “No, not really.” 

“Seriously?” 

“There were cameras everywhere in Plutt's garage. I never did anything private. You know I changed clothes under a blanket. I guess after all that I was just...not super interested. I had too much on my mind, and I was too tired to think about it.” 

“So you’ve never orgasamed?” She shook her head. “Rey, if we’re going to do this I need you to communicate with me, with your words, okay? I don’t want any room for misunderstandings. Not between us, okay? Not ever.” She nodded. “So what’s the answer to my question, Rey?” He asked again, his voice a bit deeper. 

“No, I-uh-I haven’t.” Her face was flaming now, and he let a puff of air pass through his lips before he leaned in to press his lips to the shell of her ear.

“Well, I guess I’m going to have to change that sweetheart.” He whispered against her skin, and a delicious tremor ran up her spine. His lips and hands seemed everywhere at once, and she did her best to keep up, threading her fingers in his hair, returning kisses with feverish desire, and running her hands all over the broad panes of his shoulders. She barely noticed when he moved to peel off her shirt, but she did notice him staring at her, and she felt exposed in her cute but worn, sensible bralet. 

“Sorry, I should’ve probably worn something sexier or something. This wasn’t my original plan for the day.” 

“No, it’s fine. You look…very good.” He exhaled. “But if you’re self conscious about it, I could take it off?” He suggested with that damned smirk, and in an effort to maintain some iota of control here, she tugged it off instead. She had the satisfaction of hearing a primal little sound escape the back of his throat as his eyes dilated and widened. 

“Ben!” She protested bashfully when she felt he’d been staring for an eternity. She made to cross her arms over her chest, and that put him into motion. 

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” He kissed her neck and ensnared her waist with his giant hands and started to kiss and nip a trail all the way down to her chest, and she gasped and grasped at his shoulders, suddenly desperate to rid him of the black sweater he wore. “Patience.” 

“No. Not about this.” She grumbled, and he pulled back just enough to wiggle out of his sweater. The first touch of his chest against her own was electric, more sensual and beautiful than any feeling she’d ever known. He seemed to be equally affected, his hands trembling as the trailed up from her waist to her face. He cradled her cheek for a moment before drawing her in for a long, slow, deep kiss that had her heart hammering hard enough to fly out of her chest. When he pulled back and resumed kissing her neck, shoulders, and chest she felt almost frozen, gripping his shoulders. 

“Is this okay?” He asked suddenly, pulling back to look at her, leaving her feeling bereft. 

“Wha- yes. Of course.” 

“You just seem...frozen. Is this not what you like? I could try something else.”

“No, I do like it- I like it very, very much- I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do, exactly.” She admitted, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. 

“Just relax, okay? I’ve got you.”

“But I want you to enjoy it too-“

“Trust me when I say I seriously am.” He scoffed, and his lips curled into his crooked half smile. Her belly clenched in response to it. “Just relax. You can touch me, and I have the whole top floor of the kriffing building, so don’t be afraid to make noise.” 

“O-Kay.” She nodded, and he chuckled, pressed a single kiss to her lips and quickly latched onto her breast with his sinful lips. She cried out at that, and she heard and felt his hum of approval. She didn’t hold anything back after that. He was good at this, and she let herself enjoy it, but more than that she let herself enjoy the sounds he made when she discovered how much he liked it when she drug her teeth along the shell of his ear, how she could make him almost purr by dragging her nails along his scalp, how he literally stopped breathing when her nimble fingers ghosted across his lower abdomen. When he peeled off her leggings and underwear in one swift movement, she’d lain bare before him, watching his eyes fix and dilate. Then he kissed her there, and she nearly flew up off of the bed. “B-Ben!” 

And she knew, she just kriffing knew that he was wearing that tiny smirk that always made her heart stutter. She buried her fingers in his hair, which she’d always in theory known to be soft, but until tonight she’d really had no idea- and he let out a low moan straight against her skin, and she let out a cry. The feeling crept up on her slowly, but when it spread, it took over violently, a rush of something undeniably good spread through her veins like liquid fire alongside her blood, and she gasped his name, cried it, moaned it until the feeling subsided to soft shocks that left her legs feeling like jello, and he sat back on his knees and just looked at her. 

“Good?” He asked, his already deep voice husky with feeling. She laughed, her voice trembling. 

“Better.” She sat up slowly, and cupped the back of his neck tenderly, pulling him in for a slow kiss. She reached for the waistline of his dark jeans with her free hand, and he caught it just as her fingers found the button.

“I need you to be very, very sure about this.” He said, his voice calm despite the tremble of his fingers around her wrist. 

“Ben.”

“Because I am sure. I don’t know how I’m so sure, but I am. And I need to know that-“ his words cut off with a strangled choking sound, somewhere between torture and bliss as she pressed her palm against him. He grabbed her hand again, this time holding it to his chest.

“Your heart is beating so kriffing fast.” She murmured in awe. She had affected him like this- he was trembling and wanting and needy because of her. And he remained frustratingly still. 

“Rey. Once we do this, things are going to be different. Not just because hopefully there’ll be a kid, but between us, things can’t go back to a complete normal. We’ll always have done this.” 

“I think we passed the point of safe return to “normal” when you put your face between my thighs.” She insisted. “And if you think I want to stop now that I know what that feels like, you’re more of an idiot than I thought.” 

“But-“

“Benjamin Charles Organa Solo, would you please just put a baby in me?” She asked quietly, and she saw him swallow, and swore his eyes dilated even more. “I want you to. I want to have your baby.” He didn’t hesitate a second longer. The rest of his clothes were left in a heap on the floor, and yet she felt as if it took an eternity for him to actually enter her. He kissed her gently and stretched her with his fingers, drew her extremely close to another shattering point, and then finally, finally he pushed forward, and for a second she swore her vision went white with the feel of it all. She’d thought it would hurt more, but apart from a small feeling of something giving way and a very brief stinging, there had been none, and he’d kissed her through it all. 

“You okay?” He asked, locking eyes with her as he brushed some sweat damp hair out of her eyes. 

“Absolutely.” She nodded, relaxing her legs enough to wrap them around him. He groaned as his head dropped to the crook of her neck. Then he started to move. It was slow, but kriffing hell it felt like nothing she had ever dreamed of. She squeezed his shoulders and caressed the muscular panes of his back, nicking it occasionally with her blunt fingernails. He retaliated by nipping at her collar bone, and she arched up against him like a bow. It was like instinct overtook him, and he started to move faster, and she could only hang on for dear life and let out tiny puffs of air as he drove into her and she felt another crest of that liquid fire welling up inside of her. “Ben!”

“Maker, Rey…” he kissed her again, his teeth skimming gently along her lips, and she tried to arch her hips up to meet him, and son of a bitch he actually moaned into her mouth and oh- she liked that- she liked that so much. And then he went still above her, gasping and whispering her name like a prayer. She felt him pulse, actually pulse inside of her and there was something warm filling an empty place in her, and she had never felt so full, so complete in her entire life. He stayed above her for a moment, breathing heavily and staring into her eyes. She kissed him and he rolled to his side but didn’t let her go. “Are you okay?”

“I’d go so far as to say I’m significantly better than okay.” She teased.

“You didn’t finish.” He frowned.

“I mean, I did, just not during the actual...sex.” She stumbled over the word, and he smiled at her so fondly it made her feel like she wanted to cry. 

“I’m sorry- I can last longer, I swear, but it’s just been...it’s been a while.” He admitted. 

“Ben, honestly, it’s okay.” She said gently. 

“I could go down on you again-“

“That’s okay. I think I’m going to be a little sensitive- I mean, you were my first and you aren’t exactly small, Ben.” She insisted and he grinned slyly at her. She felt his large hand cup her lower belly, and a sort of chill ran over her even though she was warm and content.

“You think that did it?” He asked, his fingers absently caressing her belly.

“Maybe. Maybe not. We could always give it another try- just to give it the best odds of taking.” She suggested seriously, and then she yawned. He chuckled, and reached for the blankets which they’d managed to push down the bed. 

“Later.” He kissed her throat, and pulled her against him, keeping his hand nestled on her stomach, as if to protect what may lie beneath it. She put her hand on top of his and nestled her head into the pillows, and fell asleep with the sort of peace that you only really find when you’re where you’re truly supposed to be.


	4. High Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Why’d you stop?” He asked, reaching for her hand. 
> 
> “I- I just forgot the chords.” She lied. In truth she had been singing and all of the sudden she’d looked up and seen his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes that were transfixed on her, and she’d felt her heart squeeze. She’d known this man for all of six months, but the effect he had on her was incredible. Alarming. Especially with the number of times she’d heard him explaining that the Rey he brought with him to some places was “just his friend.” Or “young enough to be my kid sister.”. She bit her lip and resumed playing before he asked her anything else. She was a terrible liar, and he’d call her out in a minute if she tried to elaborate. 
> 
> The fact of the matter was that it didn’t matter how she felt about Ben Solo, her best friend, her savior, her most trusted confidant. Because he absolutely did not feel the same way about her. And she could live with that. As long as she had him like this, it was enough. It was more than she’d dreamed of having in her life."
> 
> In the past, and the present, Rey has always had high hopes for her relationship with Ben Solo. Even if she tried very hard to keep those hopes buried down deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! Another chapter for you today! I hope it's clear that when the words are in italics, it's sort of a flashback or an event in Rey's past, whereas the normal text is what's current. Just wanted to clear that up! As always, your comments and kudos never fail to make my day, and I'm so excited by the response I'm getting on my first AU!

_They were sitting on the floor of his music studio, each holding an acoustic guitar. Hers is the old blue one he’d given her, which she’d lovingly dubbed Pluto, like the old ice planet. She snuck a glance up at him as he plays through scales with the ease of someone who’d been doing so since they were a tiny child. She did her best to imitate them, but watching him was always a tempting distraction._

_“You’re not focusing.”_

_“Sorry. You’re just so good at this! And I like the face you make when you’re playing this sort of music. So at ease.” She observed, and his cheeks tinged with pink. He’d just come home from his tour of Asia, and he’d brought her the most beautiful, expensive dress she’d ever owned. Soft, shimmering forest green silk covered in tiny painted flowers. He’d gotten Leia to figure out her size so expertly she hadn’t had a clue it was coming. She didn’t have the heart to tell him she’d never have an occasion to wear it to. It didn’t matter what he’d brought her. The fact of the matter was that he’d thought to bring her something at all. He’d texted every day, called least once a week, and sent her pictures of things he knew she’d want to see. She needn’t have feared he would disappear from her life. He made it very clear he was in it to stay._

_“You know, you’d probably be better than me if you practiced. You have very nimble fingers. Perfect for music.”_

_“Oh, I’ll never be as good as you.” She scoffed. “This is your career. It’s my childhood pastime.”_

_“It’s more than that to you, and you know it.”_

_“Maybe.” She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. She began strumming chords softly, eventually letting her fingers fall into the plucking pattern that Ben had shown her. She cleared her throat lightly and began to sing along, fully aware of how his eyes were fixated on her. “You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest, like a mountain in springtime, like a walk in the rain…”_

_“Why’d you stop?” He asked, reaching for her hand._

_“I- I just forgot the chords.” She lied. In truth she had been singing and all of the sudden she’d looked up and seen his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes that were transfixed on her, and she’d felt her heart squeeze. She’d known this man for all of six months, but the effect he had on her was incredible. Alarming. Especially with the number of times she’d heard him explaining that the Rey he brought with him to some places was “just his friend.” Or “young enough to be my kid sister.”. She bit her lip and resumed playing before he asked her anything else. She was a terrible liar, and he’d call her out in a minute if she tried to elaborate._

_The fact of the matter was that it didn’t matter how she felt about Ben Solo, her best friend, her savior, her most trusted confidant. Because he absolutely did not feel the same way about her. And she could live with that. As long as she had him like this, it was enough. It was more than she’d dreamed of having in her life._

_And she’d never do anything to risk losing what was precious to her._

She woke up in his arms. It was the middle of the night, just before two a.m. and he was holding her even closer than he had been when she fell asleep. She stretched gently, feeling a few tender spots, but nothing she couldn’t bear. She tried to slip out of his arms without disturbing him, but she felt his arms tighten and then loosen. 

“Rey?” 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“It’s okay. Where are you going?”

“Just the bathroom.” He released her from his hold, and she wiggled out of bed to do her business. As she washed her hands and looked in the mirror, she noticed a few splotches of purple forming on her chest, and her collar bones, and she resigned herself to a few days of wearing sweaters, but damn if it wasn’t worth it. She flicked off the light and went back to his bedroom, climbing back into his bed. “Ben?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I just wondered if you were still awake.” 

“I am.” He confirmed. Even in the dark she could make out his eyes trained on her. 

“Can I try something?” 

“Okay?” He chuckled, but the sound died in his throat when she threw one of her legs over his hips. “Rey?”

“Is this okay?” She asked even as she felt his arousal stirring under her. 

“What do you think?” He sat up just enough to meet her for a kiss. It took a bit of awkward adjusting and experimenting, but she managed to take him in, and rolled her hips experimentally against his. 

“Oh!” She gasped as a careful round movement dragged him against the spot inside of her he’d only just discovered for her. “Oh Ben!”

“You feel...so good….” he bucked up underneath her, the movement sending sparks flying behind her eyes. 

“Yes!” She let him take control then, his large hands clasping her hips and setting a quick pace, a pace that had her panting his name as she leaned closer to him to claim his lips again. He kissed her like he was a man in the desert and she was an oasis. He kissed her like he’d never get another chance. And honestly, she had no idea what would happen when they got up in the morning to dress. 

So she would make the kriffing most of it while it lasted, even if it was only for one night. 

_“Well, is this guy going to show up or not?” Finn asked, his arms crossed over his chest._

_“Finn, Ben will be here. He promised me he would. It’s two past six, and he got done at work fifteen minutes ago. Have a little patience.” Rey insisted, bristling on account ofthe way Finn spoke about Ben Solo._

_“Peanut, I’m sorry, it’s just… you know I think you deserve the best, right? Because I do think that. And you do. But this whole thing seems too good to be true.”_

_“What do you mean?” Rey’s eyes narrowed._

_“What does this guy get out of this whole deal?”_

_“Excuse me?!”_

_“I don’t want to offend you, Rey, and I swear on the Maker I want this to work for you, but what business does a late twenty something guy have getting involved in the life of an eighteen year old girl?”_

_“Wow. Okay. First of all, I might only be eighteen, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember. I’d know if he was trying to take advantage of me.” Rey insisted. “And did he bring me to his house the night he found me, so he could get me alone and vulnerable? No- he brought me to his kriffing parents house- Leia Organa and Han Solos house, Finn! And he has never once made any kind of inappropriate advance on me, despite having tons of opportunities while we were alone together. So excuse me for thinking this might just be a decent human being and not a sex crazed maniac!”_

_“Okay, okay, peanut, I’m sorry.” Finn said earnestly. “I’m just looking out for you, kid.”_

_“I know. But I have a good head on my shoulders Finn. I’m not going to go recklessly falling in love with a man just because he got me out of a bad spot, okay? And I’m smart enough to decide who I let be my friends, right? I’m not having you meet him because I want your approval, I’m having you guys meet him because he is my friend too- Kriff, you guys are like the closest thing I have to real family, and it feels wrong that you guys have never met.” Rey frowned._

_“What are you guys arguing about out here?” Rose asked as she emerged from her bedroom. Rey noticed she’d donned some makeup and teased her hair a bit after Rey had told her she wanted to have Finn and Ben over for game night. Rose had suggested inviting Poe and Kaydel too, and Rey had agreed. She didn’t know Poe that well yet, but Kaydel was one of Rose’s best friends and Rey liked her a lot. And she trusted her- not the immediate powerful trust she’d felt when she met Ben, or the sisterly sort of security that she’d developed naturally and quickly with Rose, but she could see that the trust would grow._

_She really loved having friends. They filled a void in her life she hadn’t known was missing. She’d known she was lonely, of course, but she thought it was for her family- and maybe it was in a way. But who said it had to be a longing for her blood family? Why couldn’t it be for a family she found for herself?_

_“Police! Open up!” Poe’s voice boomed through the door. Rose rolled her eyes as she went to answer it. As it swung open, Poe stepped into the apartment carrying bags of snacks and soda and a box of wine. “Just kidding, it’s actually the stripper you called for!”_

_“Oh, gross- can I get a refund?” Rose fake gagged._

_“Hey!” Poe protested._

_“What? Who wants to see Poe Dameron get naked?” Rose laughed._

_“Um, I do!” Kaydel announced proudly as she raised her hand._

_“At least one person here loves me!” Poe huffed._

_“Woah buddy, there’s a big difference between loving you and wanting to see your assets!” Finn chuckled._

_“You’re missing out. Poe has terrific ass...ets.” Kaydel winked. She smacked Poe’s ass as she scanned the room. “Hey Rey!” She said joyfully, crossing the space to give her a hug. “So, Rosie tells me you invited a boy? Um, details, who is this boy? Is he good looking? Does he deserve you? Should I beat him up? I wore my sharpest rings, just in case!”_

_“Slow down Kay!” Rey laughed. “It’s not like that. Ben is just a friend. A good friend. The best- but he’s just a friend.”_

_“Me thinks the lady doth protest too much!” Kaydel smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m just teasing you Rey. Rose told me this guy was just your friend.”_

_“Well He is just my friend.” Rey insisted. “He should be here any time now.”_

_“His name is Ben?” Kay asked._

_“Yeah.”_

_“Poe used to date a Ben. Hope it’s not the same guy!” Kay laughed._

_“Oh- um- I don’t know- I-“ Rey frowned. Though she’d assumed Ben was interested in women, she hadn’t actually asked him._

_“Is He a Benedict or a Benjamin?”_

_“Benjamin.”_

_“Oh, then we’re good!” Kay said._

_“You guys talking about me?” Poe asked, coming over and draping his arm over Kaydel’s shoulders._

_“Rey’s friend has the same name as your ex. Just double checking.” Kay shrugged._

_“Ben? He moved, Kay, I don’t think it’s likely he’s going to show up at our game night.” Poe laughed. There was a knock on the door, and Rey excused herself to answer it._

_“Hey!” She greeted with a grin._

_“Hey. Sorry I’m late.”_

_“You’re fine. Barely late at all.” She wrapped him in a quick hug, which he reciprocated a little stiffly. She’d deciphered very soon after they met that he wasn’t used to physical displays of affection, platonic or otherwise, but he wasn’t put off by them. A lonely childhood had left him a bit touch starved, even for the normal sort of casual human contact, and he didn’t ever quite know how to initiate. “Come on in, meet everyone.”_

_“Who’s everyone?” Ben asked as he stepped inside and pulled off his black jacket._

_“Well, my roommate Rose you’ve already met. Then there’s my friend Finn, who I’ve told you about. Kaydel is one of Rose’s best friends, and that’s her boyfriend-”_

_“Ben?” Poe asked, his jaw going slack._

_“Poe Dameron?” Ben asked, his eyes comically large._

_“Kriff, man, it’s been a long time!” Poe laughed awkwardly._

_“I thought you said his ex was a Bennet?” Rey asked Kay quietly._

_“What? Oh, hell no, I never dated Solo!” Poe laughed when he heard her. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s been built like a brick house since we were sixteen, and he’s got terrific hair-”_

_“Check yourself.” Kaydel teased, and Poe chuckled._

_“But unfortunately he’s always been straight as an arrow.” Poe sighed dramatically. “I’m kidding. Not about the straight as an arrow thing. But it would be near impossible to be into a man I saw cry in pre K because the play piano was out of tune.”_

_“Ben?” Rey asked._

_“Poe Dameron and I were friends growing up.” Ben explained evenly._

_“Friends? Best friends!” Poe insisted. “Then this kid gets some fancy music scholarship, skips town, we grew apart, etc. The cliche growing up kind of stuff.”_

_“So you’re dating a woman now?” Ben asked, not insensitively. “I haven’t seen you with a girl since senior prom.”_

_“I never had a real preference. I love who I love.” Poe shrugged. “And right now, I love this gorgeous woman right here.”_

_“Damn Straight.” Kay smiled. “Well, almost.” Everyone choked out a laugh at that._

_“Well, get in here buddy! You look great- what are you doing? Still playing music?” Poe asked as he and Ben shared an awkward masculine hug._

_“Yeah. Actually with Armitage and Phas, from school.” Ben nodded._

_“No way! What are you guys like, In a band now? Or studio musicians? Orchestra?” Poe asked, and Rey could see Ben growing uncomfortable._

_“They’re actually recording backing tracks for an up and coming group right now, at First Order Records. But he’s not allowed to talk about it. Non disclosure agreement.” Rey said simply, and Ben relaxed beside her._

_“First Order Records?” Finn asked. “Man, the guy who runs that place is such an asshole though!”_

_“You know Snoke?” Ben asked._

_“Not personally. I was working there as a janitor during night shifts, paid pretty well. But that was because they never wanted you to talk about the shit that you saw after hours there.” Finn shuddered._

_“What kind of shit?” Rose asked._

_“Drugs, for starters. I had to clean up tons of needles and shit. Pretty sure Snoke also brings hookers in after hours. For himself and for the musicians.” Finn said seriously. His arms were crossed over his chest as he stared at Ben with narrowed eyes._

_“Snoke is an asshole. And a terrible man. Hux, Phas and I already talk about what we’ll do once our contract is up.” Ben shrugged. “And no, Poe, before you ask, because I can tell you’re going to, I’ve never slept with a hooker, okay?”_

_“How long is your contract good for?” Finn asked._

_“Five more years.” Ben sighed. An uneasy silence fell over the room, and Poe clapped his hands suddenly._

_“Okay, enough of all this...seriousness. I came here to play Life and get drunk on boxed wine! Kay, let’s set up the board- and the orange car is kriffing mine, okay?!”  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this story so far:  
> 1\. "Leaving, On a Jet Plane" John Denver  
> 2\. "Annie's Song" John Denver


	5. Need You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Ben?” She whispered after a moment. 
> 
> “Yeah?” His breath was warm against her shoulder. 
> 
> “I’m really glad you’re here with me tonight.” She said, putting one of her hands on top of his. “Really glad.” 
> 
> “Me too.” "
> 
> No matter what, Ben is always there when she needs him. Even before she realizes she needs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, this is actually one of my favorite chapters I've ever written, so I hope you enjoy it!

The sex lasted longer than her ovulation. She knew it, and she was pretty sure he knew it too, but they couldn’t seem to stop. It wasn’t every night, but at least every other, and some mornings she honestly thought she might not be able to walk. But other than giving each other mind blowing, earth shattering orgasems, everything was normal between them. They didn’t tell anyone what they were up to, because deep down, they both knew their friends would call them idiots. 

But she wanted this baby so badly, and there had been so few times in her life that she actually got to have what she wanted. And if that meant she got to keep Ben in bed with her for a little longer. well…

She cried when she got her period after the first month, sitting in the bathroom of her little apartment, she’d actually cried. Rose was gone, out for the night with Finn, not planning on coming home until the next morning at the earliest. She was all alone again. Well and truly alone, without even the hope that she had a baby growing inside of her. She sat on the bathroom floor for a long time, tears silently running down her cheeks and dripping against the linoleum. The gentle sounds of “Leaving, On a Jet Plane” started coming from her phone- Ben’s ringtone. She flinched as she reached for it, her belly clenching with dread. 

“Hello?” She said, her voice shaky with tears. He was silent for a moment, and she sat up and wiped her face with her sleeve. “Ben?” 

“I’m coming over.” He said definitely. 

“Now’s not a good night for that, Ben. I started my...well...I’m not...and I cant get…” She stammered, her tears started to fall again, harder. 

“I’m close by any ways. I was at a recording session at the studio. I’ll get take out from Takodana. You want the usual? I’ll throw in a shake too.” 

“Ben- don’t you get it, I can’t-”

“I heard you.” He interrupted. “But I wanted your company long before we started any of this, and I’ll always want your company, Rey. And I can tell you’re crying. I know Rose and Finn are out tonight and you’re alone and I don’t think you want to be. Am I right?” She didn’t respond. She didn't need to. Of course he was right. He knew her far too well. “I’ll be there in like, half an hour, okay?” 

“Okay.” She sniffed. “Bye Ben.”

“Bye.” The call ended and she dragged herself off of the bathroom floor. She grabbed her comfiest pajamas from her bedroom, and then climbed into a hot shower. She stayed under the spray for a while and tried to calm herself down. 

_Everything is still okay, Jakkson. The doctor said it was a good time to try- next month we can try this all again. And It’s only been one month. It takes people way longer than that to get pregnant. It does. It takes people years and years sometimes._

But she didn’t have the luxury of years and years to wait. She bit her lip to try to keep the tears from falling again. By the time she was out of the shower, dressed in her pajamas and sitting on the second hand sofa while wrapped in a fuzzy christmas motif blanket, it had been forty minutes since Ben’s call. She turned on the tv and opened netflix, turning on a comforting old episode of “The Great British Bake Off” and zoning out until she heard a sharp knock on the door followed by the turning of a key. And there was only one person who knocked before using their key to get into the apartment. 

“Hey, Sorry I took so long.” He said as he shut and locked the door behind him. 

“That’s okay.” She couldn’t look at him just yet. She might cry again, and she honestly didn’t think she had any tears left. 

“GBBO huh?” She could hear the smile in his voice, and she smiled tremulously as she nodded. There was a rustling in the kitchen as he pulled out plates and came and set out a small feast on the coffee table before her. Her usual turkey club with a side of fries, his cheese burger and fries, a large side salad to split, a side of onion rings, a piece of Maz’s chocolate cake and a slice of her famous cherry pie, and two shakes- One strawberry vanilla swirl for her, and one dark chocolate peanut butter for him. 

“Shit, Ben, did you buy out the restaurant?” She teased, her voice still gravely from crying. 

“I thought a feast would be nice tonight.” He shrugged as he dropped down onto the sofa beside her and then tugged the coffee table close to them, so they hardly had to reach forward at all to grab their food. He grabbed a bag from next to the sofa, and set two large bottles of water on the table. 

“Is there more?” She asked, chuckling. 

“Not food.” He pulled a fluffy pair of socks out of the bag, and found her feet beneath the blanket. 

“What are you doing?” 

“You always forget socks when you’re just hanging out at home. And your feet get cold.” He shrugged, rubbing her admittedly cold feet until they felt warm, and then gently tugging new, fluffy blue socks over her feet. It was all so intimate, it made her breath catch in her throat over and over again as she watched him. It was such a simple thing, to go buy her a pair of fluffy socks, but he’d thought to do it because he’d just known her well enough to know she wouldn’t have worn them. It was a little gesture that made her eyes well up with tears, and then she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. “Rey, it’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry- I don’t want to cry about this.” She admitted. When he opened his arms, she crawled into them. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and clung to his shoulders as she cried against his shirt, staining it with tears. He held her tightly, his hands tracing patterns on her back. “I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” He asked softly. 

“Because I couldn’t do it.” 

“I don’t think not being pregnant after one month of trying indicates that you can’t do this, Rey.” He assured her. “And by that logic, I’m sorry I couldn’t get you pregnant.” 

“No! No- it’s not your fault. I’m the one who’s got something wrong with their baby maker, not you!” Any other time she would have laughed at how ridiculous it was to even use the term “Baby maker”, but for now she couldn’t stop the torrent of emotions that were pouring out of her. 

“It’s not either of our fault, Rey.” He whispered, his lips against the crown of her head. “It just didn’t happen this month. So we try again next month.” 

“We do?” She asked a little uncertainly. “You still...You still want to sleep with me?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked, and she tipped her face up to look at him. “I...I know we’re trying to start a family first and foremost, but I’m having a good time with you, Rey.” 

“Me too.” She sniffled. “A very good time.” 

“If you’d rather, we could try going through a clinic next month-”

“No!” She gasped, maybe a bit too quickly. “I mean- I think it could be worth trying for ourselves for another month. Cost effective and all of that.” 

“Right.” He smiled softly at her. 

“But if it doesn’t work after say, three or so months, maybe we look into IVF or something, I mean, I feel like I don’t have the luxury of just waiting for nature to take its course.” She chewed her lip anxiously. She really hoped it wouldn’t come to a very expensive medical procedure- she had good insurance, but even good insurance could be difficult to use for reproductive health- not that Ben wouldn’t try his damnedest to pay, because he would- but wouldn’t it be weird to have him essentially pay for her to get pregnant? 

“You’re thinking too hard, Rey. I can see the smoke.” He teased.

“Just mentally figuring out how much id have to pay out of pocket for that.” 

“Rey…” he sighed, but diverted before an argument could happen. “Let’s eat. I’m hungry.” She climbed off of his lap, but didn’t go far. She stayed curled into his side as they ate and watched various degrees of baking disasters unfold on the television in front of them. She set down her shake after taking a large swig, and he kissed her suddenly- it was unexpected, but not unwelcome. His mouth tasted like chocolate and peanut butter, and the taste combined with the strawberry of her own shake was intoxicating. The kiss was slow and deep, she’d almost call it tender. When he pulled back from her, he was smiling, and he just draped his arm over her shoulders, grabbed one of his fries, and turned to look at the tv again.

It struck her that that was the first time he’d kissed her without the promise of something more to come. He clearly knew she was on her period- he knew she definitely wasn’t going to be sleeping with him tonight, and yet he’d kissed her any ways. A slow, sweet kiss that made her heart race and her face heat up, and then he casually just kept doing what he’d been doing before. It wasn’t a kiss between lovers in a passionate moment, or some kind of foreplay, no, it had been much more like the sort of kiss between two people who were together- who cared, who loved each other. 

Was it possible that his feelings for her had moved beyond friendship and physical attraction? 

Because hers had. She’d had her little crush on him for years, of course, but she’d always been able to suppress it and focus in on their friendship. But now...Now that she knew what it felt like to have his hands all over her skin, his body twined with hers, his lips against hers, it seemed like it would be impossible for her to deny her feelings for him again.

After they’d watched almost an entire season of the bake off, and eaten every bite of their feast (Which she shouldn’t have found surprising, since she was a bottomless pit, and he was the size of a refrigerator), it was late- well past midnight, though he’d gotten there at six. he grabbed his shoes and jacket, but she held onto his arm tightly, Her eyes asking a wordless question. He dropped his coat on the back of the couch again, his shoes hit the floor, and he followed her wordlessly into her bedroom. 

They’d never been in here before. Her room was much smaller than his, and her bed, while much larger than what she’d grown up with, was still considerably smaller than his. But he didn’t mention it as he took off his pants and his sweater, leaving him dressed in his boxers and a t shirt as he climbed into the bed behind her, and curled his body around hers almost protectively. His large hands rested gently on her abdomen, the feel of them soothing and pleasant. 

“Ben?” She whispered after a moment. 

“Yeah?” His breath was warm against her shoulder. 

“I’m really glad you’re here with me tonight.” She said, putting one of her hands on top of his. “Really glad.” 

“Me too.” He kissed behind her ear softly, and she twisted her face around to kiss him on the mouth before she settled back comfortably into his arms. “Rey?” 

“Mm?” She felt herself being lulled to sleep by his warmth and the rhythm of his breathing. 

“Why haven’t you ever been with someone, before now?” He asked, and she bit her lip. “I have eyes, and It can’t be for lack of opportunity.” 

“I’ve had opportunity.” She said almost defensively. “But I don’t know. I guess they were never what I wanted. And I...” 

“You?”

“I don’t trust easily, but you know that.” She felt his arms pull her in a little tighter. “And I just felt like, after a life that was so out of my control, I’d managed to stay in control of my body- of who was allowed to touch it. There were some close calls when I was growing up, times when I really thought someone was going to…” She felt the sharp bite of tears in her eyes again. 

“Hey- it’s okay. You don't have to say any more.” He soothed, pressing his lips to her neck tenderly. 

“No- I...It’s okay. I want to talk to you. I mean. In theory, you know most of this information anyways, I’ve just never strung it together like this.” She exhaled slowly. “Anyways I...I don’t know. I guess I just took the idea of sharing my body with someone very seriously. I didn’t want to just do it with some cute guy at a party because he was a good kisser and he smelled nice and was nice enough to me. It had to be someone I trusted. Someone I knew would never hurt me, or...or leave me without a word. Like it didn’t matter. Like I didn’t matter. For so much of my life I never felt safe- I never mattered to anyone. Until you. And you...you’re the only man I’ve ever really felt both safe with, and attracted to.” 

“Really?” 

“I mean, Finn is cute. I thought that he and I might be good for each other once, but there was nothing there.” She shrugged awkwardly. 

“But why me?” He prompted. “We could’ve still done this- had a baby together without sleeping together, Rey. You could’ve waited to meet someone else to be your first.” 

“I know.” She yawned. “But I didn’t want to. You’re my…” 

“Your what?” He asked, but her eyelids are so heavy now, the day’s emotional drain finally catching up with her. 

“My Ben.” She thinks he might have said something after that, but she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that tonight, she was so glad he was there with her. Tonight, she wasn’t alone.


	6. Here Comes The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Oh, hey Rey!” The brown bag she had been holding slipped out of her fingers when Rose said her name. 
> 
> “Son of a- you scared me!” Rey gasped. “I thought you were with Finn?” 
> 
> “I was. Thought I’d come home and we could get ready for the concert together.” Rose said cheerily as she knelt backwards on the sofa to look at her. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks. Really, you’ve been scarce since you bailed on Kaydel's post “woman power doctor visit brunch”. You’ve been acting really weird ever since then, actually.” 
> 
> “Um, thanks?” 
> 
> “And I came home last night to see if you wanted to chill and maybe binge watch something, and you weren’t here.” 
> 
> “Oh yeah, I was...out.” 
> 
> “All night?” 
> 
> “Uh- yes?” Rose looked at her dubiously, but shrugged and hopped over the couch, her feet landing on and crinkling the brown paper bag.
> 
> “Oh shit- sorry Rey! If whatever’s in here is broken I’ll…buy you...a...new...one.” She pulled out a slightly dented box, and Rey felt her stomach drop. “Why do you have this?” 
> 
> “Why do you think I have it?” 
> 
> No matter what, true best friends will always be there. Which is why Rey is so glad she has Rose and Kaydel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Again, your response to my story never ceases to amaze me! I'll try to be better about responding to comments, but I make no promises- honestly, If I'm on my computer, I'm usually just typing this fic these days! Anyways, no Ben in this chapter, but he'll be back again next time, not to worry!

The second month was a lot like the first. They kept everything a secret, but it wasn’t so hard. They’d always spent so much time together, it wasn’t going to raise red flags if Rey slept at his place sometimes, because he lived an hour away and if she was there late, hed always just let her crash in one of two guest rooms- or if he was over at her apartment one morning when Rose came home from a night over at Finn’s place, because he’d pop by on his way to the studio where his band rehearsed and wrote to drop off coffee and donuts for Rey and Rose usually once or twice a week. Because it was all perfectly normal for them. The only time they’d come close to being discovered was on the day she’d started ovulating, and she’d texted him to meet her in the bar bathroom, or she thought she had, but she’d accidentally replied to Kaydel’s last text. Kay had been a little confused as to why the text had been so strange, but had just slipped her a tampon, assuming that’s what she’d needed, and Rey hadn’t corrected her. Ben had laughed pretty hard when she’d relayed that story to him later that night in his place after they’d had sex against the wall by his front door, because she’d been ready to go for hours and she didn’t want to wait a second longer. 

She swore she could feel a shift in their relationship- of course sex was going to change things, but it was more than that. They’d always been close, keeping no secrets, not sparing each other's feelings, but it was more than that. The intimacy of their bond kept growing. He braided back her hair for her if she was over at his house in the morning before she had to work, and when he finished braiding he’d kiss the nape of her neck. She’d write stupid little notes to remind him how good looking he was and stuff them into his guitar case, so he’d find them when he was at work. She’d get to his apartment before he came home, and cook dinner for him so that there was a hot meal on the table when he got there. He brought her a bouquet of yellow and orange flowers one night because he’d passed a vendor, and the cheerful colors reminded him of her. 

Just last night, after they’d done what she could only describe as making love, they’d sat on his bed with their guitars, her in just his button down shirt, and he in his boxers, and they’d just played music and harmonized together. She’d never heard “Peaceful easy feeling” sound more beautiful. 

She’d never been happier than this in her whole life. Especially as the second month was starting to bleed into the third and she still hadn’t gotten her-

“You okay there sunshine?” She dropped the wrench she’d been holding, but managed to catch it before it fell. “Need a second set of hands?”

“Oh, no, I think I’ve got it, Han, just got distracted for a minute.” She smiled at him, and turned back to the car in front of her. She’d kept her interactions with Han minimal for the last nearly two months. Somehow she was afraid that if he looked her in the eye, he would know exactly what she had been doing with his son, and she might die of embarrassment if he did. 

“Ben called.”

“Oh?”

“Said he tried to call you but you didn’t answer. I told him it was because you were a good employee.” Han winked. “Anyways, he just wanted to make sure your friends got their tickets for tonight.” 

“Oh. Oh! Right.” She nodded. Ben had given comp tickets and backstage passes to her, Finn, Rose, Kaydel, and Poe for the Knights of Ren concert. “Yeah, they got ‘em. They’re very excited.” They’d only been let in on the secret in the last six months, and the Knights hadn’t played in their home town since then. “Did he say I should call him back?” 

“Nah, he just said he’d see you tonight.” 

“Oh.” Rey bit her lip and fidgeted with her glove. 

“You sure you’re alright kid? You’re jumpy as hell. It’s freaking me out.” Han chuckled. 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. You know, you’ve been working hard today. Why don’t you take off early, get ready for the concert, have a good time with your friends.” Han suggested. 

“That’s kind, but you don’t have to do that.” 

“I know I don’t have to, but I’m going to. You’re young, you’re single, you should be out there living life, not locked up in a garage with a grumpy old man and a hairy beast.” 

“I heard that!” Chewie growled, poking his head out from under the car he was working on. Charles was an exceptionally hairy man, and exceptionally tall too. A longtime friend of Han, he was as good as family to the Organa-Solos. 

“I wasn’t keeping it a secret! Couldn’t if I tried! You shed everywhere!” Rey laughed at their bickering and set her tools down. “Go on, get out of here kid. I’ll see you Monday.” 

“Sunday, actually. Leia invited me over for dinner.” Rey grinned. 

“She invited me too!” Chewie called.

“So Id better barbecue the whole kriffing cow then, with the two of you coming around.” 

“Sounds about right, but then what are the rest of you going to eat?.” Rey shrugged and said brief goodbyes as she went to the back office and shimmed out of her coveralls and grabbed her things. Getting off early was probably for the best, since she had a stop she’d been putting off making for a while. 

Or for ten days. 

The exact number of days late her period was. 

She knew it was probably just stress, or her body tricking her into thinking she had what she wanted. But she hadn’t been late for her period since she’d started taking supplements and eating regularly.

She’d read the pamphlets the doctor gave her. She’d read mommy blogs about fertility. She’d googled basic questions and read countless articles. She was twenty four days out from ovulation. She could have taken a test on day twelve, or any of the twelve days that followed, but she’d been afraid to. 

What if it wasn’t positive? 

What if it was?

She and Ben hadn’t discussed beyond her actually conceiving. Or rather, they hadn’t talked about what would happen with them- they talked plenty about the baby in abstract, but as for what exactly they would be to each other after...They were sleeping together under the guise of getting her pregnant. If she was, did that mean it would end? He’d made it very clear that he was attracted to her, she’d spent nights with him wrapped around her, and listened to him describe how good she felt to him. He’d kissed her so softly, so tenderly- they’d had so many late night talks, and so many moments that felt like they had to mean something more than just sex.

But once she was pregnant, would he go back to thinking of her as just his friend? No. No. Because if she was pregnant, she wouldn’t just be his friend. She’d be the mother of his child too. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine as she popped into the nearest drug store.  
………..  
“Oh, hey Rey!” The brown bag she had been holding slipped out of her fingers when Rose said her name. 

“Son of a- you scared me!” Rey gasped. “I thought you were with Finn?” 

“I was. Thought I’d come home and we could get ready for the concert together.” Rose said cheerily as she knelt backwards on the sofa to look at her. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks. Really, you’ve been scarce since you bailed on Kaydel's post “woman power doctor visit brunch”. You’ve been acting really weird ever since then, actually.” 

“Um, thanks?” 

“And I came home last night to see if you wanted to chill and maybe binge watch something, and you weren’t here.” 

“Oh yeah, I was...out.” 

“All night?” 

“Uh- yes?” Rose looked at her dubiously, but shrugged and hopped over the couch, her feet landing on and crinkling the brown paper bag.

“Oh shit- sorry Rey! If whatever’s in here is broken I’ll…buy you...a...new...one.” She pulled out a slightly dented box, and Rey felt her stomach drop. “Why do you have this?” 

“Why do you think I have it?” 

“Why did my virgin best friend buy a pregnancy test?” Rose asked, her jaw working between words. She rifled through the bag, pulling out two other boxes with different brand names and guarantees written in bold lettering. “Oh my gosh- you’re not a- when- who- are you gonna take this- all of these?!” 

“Yes.” 

“Who?!”

“I think I have to tell you the whole story.” 

“Damn straight you have to tell me the whole story!!!” 

_Rose was a year older than Finn, and three years older than herself. She’d met Finn at school and they’d become fast friends, so it only made sense that he’d introduce her to Rey once Rey had moved to the city. They’d clicked quickly, Rey longing for the companionship of a female peer, something she’d never had, and Rose desperate for human connection following the sudden loss of her sister slash best friend a few months before. They’d known each other maybe two weeks when Rose insisted she move into the extra room in her apartment, and she’d been there for almost a year now._

_“You should just kiss him.” Rey suggested._

_“What?! No! I couldn’t!” Rose gasped, covering her face as Kaydel poured her another glass of wine._

_“Uh, yeah, you absolutely could!” Kaydel insisted. “He’s so clearly into you, the fact that you haven’t even drunkenly made out once is staggering to me.”_

_“He doesn’t like me like that, I’m just his friend. He’s called me dude.” Rose grimaced._

_“So? He calls everyone dude.” Kaydel pointed out._

_“Not Rey. He calls her peanut.”_

_“He’s not into me, Rose!” Rey huffed. “I already told you, we kissed once like two years ago and there was nothing there. We both laughed out loud. He said it was like kissing an aunt. We’re friends, but that’s it. Peanut isn’t a romantic nick name and you know it!”_

_“What if I kiss him and he laughs at me?!”_

_“Rose. He won’t. I promise.” Kaydel squeezed her hand. “He’s into you. He’s told Poe he thinks you’re “the most adorable, perfect woman on the face of the earth” and guys don’t say shit like that about girls they’re not in to.”_

_“Did he really say that?!”_

_“Yeah, but don’t tell him you know. Poe swore me to secrecy, but that went out the window like a glass and a half ago.” She shrugged and took another swig. “What about you, Rey?”_

_“What about me?”_

_“How’s Brad?”_

_“Brad?”_

_“Yeah, that classmate of Finns’- you know from the party?...the blonde dude you were making out with?”_

_“Ohhhh- Brad.” Rey shrugged. “I don’t know.”_

_“What?”_

_“He was cute and we were both drunk, and he was fun to make out with, but we both knew it wasn’t going to be a thing or anything.” She’d made that extremely clear._

_“Are you serious?” Rose asked._

_“Yeah. I’m just...not looking for a relationship right now.”_

_“Huh. Wonder why not.” Kaydel said with a roll of her eyes._

_“What does that mean?”_

_“That you’re obviously head over your heels mister tall, dark, and handsome.”_

_“I’m not in love with Ben!” She insisted._

_“Sureee.” Rose slurred. “That’s why you can’t stop talking about him, take every opportunity to see him, even crash at his place sometimes!”_

_“He lives across town- the hour long commute is a pain if it’s already midnight! And his place is huge- he has two spare bedrooms, Rose, it’s not like We’re actually spending the night together.” Rey protested. “We’re just friends.”_

_“Sure. And so are Rose and Finn!” Kaydel giggled._

_“Okay. So maybe I am interested. It doesn’t matter though. He sees me as a little sister.”_

_“Oh please! If my older brother looked at me with half the feeling Ben looks at you with, I’d be way freaked out.” Kaydel insisted. “Guys do not treat their little sisters the way Ben treats you.”_

_“He’s never had a little sister. He wouldn’t know that.”_

_“Excuses.” Rose chirped._

_“He’s the reason you won’t just date a nice guy. Because you’re afraid he might want you and you won’t be available.”_

_“That’s not...entirely true.”_

_“Ah-ha!” Kaydel pumped her fist victoriously._

_“Okay fine, so I have feelings for Ben, great now it’s out there, there’s nothing I can do about it, okay?” She crosses her arms over her chest._

_“Maybe not right now, but there’s such a thing as playing the long game, kid.” Kaydel insisted. “Poe wasn’t interested in me when we first met. He was dating another man for Pete’s sake. But we were friends for a good three years before he noticed me like that. He broke up with that dude, and six months later, bam! He kissed me, instant fireworks, rom com movie ending best friends in love, still together three years later!”_

_“Not everyone gets a rom com ending Kaydel. Some of us are lucky just to have escaped the horror film.” Rey stuttered, and rose wrapped her arms around her, while Kaydel leaned her head on her knee and reached for her hand. “S-sorry.”_

_“Don’t apologize. We’re friends. Best friends. We’re here for eachother. Always.” Kaydel insisted._

_“Always.” Rose agreed._

_“Always."_

“I’m coming over right the hell now, don’t take the test until I get there!” Kaydel’s line on the phone went dead, and Rey sat with Rose staring at her.

“Good idea, calling her so I only had to say it once.” Rey offered. The silence that followed was tense, and Rey forced herself to sip more water even though she’d been doing so for well over an hour. She needed to be able to take all three tests after all.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Rose asked, her voice hurt.

“I didn’t want you guys to feel bad. Now Kaydel feels bad that she made me go, when in reality, I was sexually inactive, I’m not used to having health care or access to doctors at all, so I probably wouldn’t have thought to go to the gynecologist unless I thought something was wrong, and then I might have missed my opportunity altogether. So I’m glad.”

“Not just that- you just bailed. We were worried and you waved us off.” 

“I’m sorry. I needed to clear my head, and when I did the answer was right there. It was Ben.” 

“Told you he liked you.” Rose insisted smugly. 

“It’s not like that. It’s just...cost effective.” 

“He offered to pay for the procedure. He could have insisted on it. Instead he agrees to have sex with you? How is it, by the way? Is our theory correct? How big would you say his-“

“Oh my- please don’t do this.” Rey groaned and threw her arm over her eyes. 

“I have to!” 

“It’s good, okay? I don’t have much to use for reference, but I can honestly say I think I’m ruined for all other men.” Rey snapped.

“And his-“ Rey silenced her by holding up her hand.

“Proportional.” 

“So you’re saying massive , cause the dude is massive!” 

“Yes.” 

“And you think you’re...you know?” Rose’s eyes flickered to her stomach. 

“I...I don’t know. I’m late, and my boobs hurt, but it could be nothing.” Rey shrugged. “I don’t want to get my hopes up after last month- it really, really sucked when I wasn’t pregnant.” 

“And this is what you really want?” 

“Yeah. I...I want to be a mom. I want a family of my own.” Rey grinned, the pure relief of telling someone other than Ben made her feel like she was flying. 

“Aww!” Rose threw her arms around her. “Rey that’s...wow, this is so much to take in!” 

“I know.” 

“Finn and Poe are going to flip. Finn might try to deck Ben. I don’t see that ending well for him, but don’t tell him I said that!” Rose giggled, but then her face grew serious. “You know I wouldn’t have been angry, if you asked Finn to be the donor. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, Rose it’s just-“

“Cause I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I know you and Finn are really close and he’d be a great dad.” 

“I did consider it briefly. But I don’t know. It didn’t sit well with me. Asking Ben was the only idea that felt right. So I just did it before I lost the nerve.” Rey shrugged. “I was just going to ask him to be the donor, but then I thought well, why not just ask him if he would want…well, me. And he did.” 

“Rey…”

“It’s crazy, it’s just to get me pregnant-“

“Oh please! Seriously, Are you pretending to be this blind just to piss me off, Rey? If he wasn’t, at the very least, attracted to you, he would’ve just insisted on the insemination and you know it! It’s not like he couldn’t afford it! Is he still just a millionaire or has he crossed to the billions yet?” Rose groaned. 

“He’s not a billionaire, just a multimillionaire- I mean, Technically, He was born a millionaire. He comes from like, three generations of music royalty, plus his grandmother was a huge deal politically, from old money, so his trust fund was pretty substantial before ...what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You two are both so blind, you wouldn’t see each others feelings if they punched you in the face. Like, here you are, telling me that you two have been essentially going at it like rabbits for two months, and you still think he’s not into you!”

“Well, I-”

“Rey?! Rose! Open up!” The pounding on the door was insistent. 

“Geeze Kaydel, how'd you get here so fast?” Rose asked as she went to open the door. “Where’s your key?”

“Puhlease, you think I didn’t jump in a cab as soon as Rey started telling us what was going on? Do you think I took the time to check that I had my spare key in my bag?” Kaydel unwound her scarf and hung it on a peg. “You didn’t take it yet, did you?” 

“No.” 

“Good! You can do it now!”

“You’re giving me permission to pee on a stick?” 

“No, I’m giving you permission to pee on three sticks! Now go go go!” Kaydel insisted, and Rey rolled her eyes as she grabbed the bag and headed to the bathroom. She could hear rose and Kaydel out the door, pacing and talking lowly to each other while she took the tests and set them on the edge of the sink to wait. She wondered if she should have called Ben and done this with him. No, she shook her head, she didn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing. If it was negative she wouldn’t say anything. If it was positive...if it was positive, how would she tell him? “Rey? You okay in there?” 

“I’m just fine.” She called, glancing at the time on her phone. She sat on the closed toilet lid and rested her head in her hands as she thought of Ben. 

There was no use denying the fact that she was in love with him. Spending the night with him these last few weeks or months had proven that to her beyond shadow of a doubt. And the way he looked at her while he loved her body...she could almost believe that he might maybe feel the same way she did. That he wanted her in all ways. He’d agreed to have a child with her after all, and that wasn’t something you just did with anyone! It was an agreement to be in eachothers lives for the child’s lifetime, for the rest of their lives. That had to mean something. And all of the little things he did for her- bringing her cozy socks and running her a bath when she texted him about it being a long day, learning to play “Ours” by Taylor Swift just so he could teach her when she’d casually mentioned she wanted to learn to play it for Kay and Poe’s engagement party next month. She looked at the clock again, and her heart felt like it started pounding out of her ribs. It was time to look. 

In addition to two mid range pregnancy tests, She’d sprung for an expensive brand with a little screen that would actually say the word “pregnant” on it, so there would be no room for confusion. She took a steadying breath. It would be fine. If she wasn’t pregnant now, she’d just have to try again next month. She closed her eyes and flipped each test over in turn before steeling herself and looking. She picked up the white and blue wand, and let out a sob. It was the same- all three of them the same!

“Rey?” Rose asked softly. “What’s wrong?” Rey opened the door slowly, and held up the wand. instantly she was wrapped in a group hug and crying openly. She looked down at the little screen again, and smiled. 

_Pregnant_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs of the Fic  
> 1\. "Leaving, On a Jet Plane" John Denver  
> 2\. "Annie's Song" John Denver  
> 3\. "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" The Eagles   
> 4\. "Ours" Taylor Swift


	7. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She wore the green silk dress. The one he’d brought for her after his first tour after they’d met. It was too fancy for a death metal concert, completely the wrong vibe, and it was arguably the wrong season to be wearing a sleeveless silk dress anyways. But she had to wear it today. She had to be wearing it when she told him. When she told him….
> 
> Her hand curled over her stomach, and a grin formed on her lips. They’d done it. She was pregnant. She was a mom- there was a baby inside of her! "
> 
> Every time she's with Ben, it feels a little bit like she's in Heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm early posting this one- because I'm just too excited and honestly super hyped from all of your wonderful reviews!

_She laid on the bed in the guest room of Leia Kriffing Organa, her arms stitched and bandaged, wearing the most comfortable albeit too large pajamas she’d ever worn. The bed was softer than a cloud, the pale blue bedding beautiful and fresh and clean. She’d never seen a thing like it. It had to be too good to be true. This whole thing. There had to be a catch. Or this was a dream, the kind of dream she’d cry over when she woke up because it wasn’t real._

_“Is she pregnant Ben?”_

_“Mom-“_

_“Because I swear if you brought home a pregnant teenager-“_

_“Mom! For Kriffs sake just listen to me. I swear she’s not pregnant- or she’s definitely not pregnant with any child of mine. I just met her today. Honestly.” Rey stopped tossing and turning, her body frozen as she listened to the conversation outside of her door._

_“You haven’t spoken to us in almost a decade, Ben. I think it’s fair that your mother is concerned.” His father- Han- said, scoffing as he did. “And the first thing you do after eight years of silence is ask for something.”_

_“So you know how serious this is to me!”_

_“If you just met her why do you care so much?” There’s nothing cruel in his mother’s voice, just a question, genuine curiosity._

_“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I’m drawn to her- not like that! I just mean...I think I was meant to find her tonight.” Ben paused for a moment and there was silence. “It’s like Uncle Luke always says. The force of the universe leads you exactly where you’re supposed to be.”_

_“So now you’re buying into Lukes malarkey?” Han laughed, and there was a soft sound of impact. “What? Look princess, I love the man, but he’s into all sorts of hippy shit!”_

_“I’m not buying into anything, dad. I just know that tonight, for the first time, I was where I was supposed to be. You’ve talked to her. You know she doesn’t deserve her lot in life.”_

_“I think you’re right about that.” Leia said softly, and Rey felt her body relax. “She’s a very sweet girl. I like her. Don’t you like her Han? Well, good. She can stay with us until we can find her a good place. I’ll put in a few calls in the morning, see what I can find out.”_

_“Thank you. Thank you both.”_

_“And she’s not even pregnant?”_

_“Dad!”_

She wore the green silk dress. The one he’d brought for her after his first tour after they’d met. It was too fancy for a death metal concert, completely the wrong vibe, and it was arguably the wrong season to be wearing a sleeveless silk dress anyways. But she had to wear it today. She had to be wearing it when she told him. When she told him….

Her hand curled over her stomach, and a grin formed on her lips. They’d done it. She was pregnant. She was a mom- there was a baby inside of her! 

“How are you not freaking out more?” Rose asked as she applied her own makeup.

“I don’t know. Honestly I thought I would be more freaked out. But it’s...everything feels right to me. I’m a mom- Ben made me a mom, and I just...I’ve never felt so sure about anything in my life.” She admitted. After an initial almost twenty minutes of tears and hugs and squealing with Kaydel and Rose, she’d pulled out her phone and calmly booked a prenatal appointment for herself next week. “I’m scared, but only that it’s too good to be true. A lot of pregnancies are lost in the very beginning like this.” 

“Oh Rey…” Rose hugged her tight around the shoulders and kissed her cheek. “You are going to be just….the greatest mom of all time!” 

“Rose…”

“I know you are! No arguing.” Rose insisted sternly. She glanced down at her phone and grinned. “They’re here to get us!” She grabbed Rey’s hand and her purse and coat and tugged her out the door. “So...I’m not allowed to tell Finn like for definite then?” 

“Absolutely not, he cannot know before I tell Ben!” 

“Right right that’s totally fair.” Rose nodded. 

“It’s bad enough that you and Kaydel know before I tell him! You’d all better act surprised as Hell when Ben and I announce it!” Rey groaned as they made it out the door. Kaydel hopped out of the car and hugged her at once. 

“Rey, you can take shotgun.” 

“Oh, don’t be daft, you should sit next to Poe-“

“Take it. The back’s so cramped and you should be comfortable.” Kaydel insisted.

“Um, not that I’m opposed to Rey being comfortable, but why are you being so weird about it?” Finn asked as he opened the car door for Rose. 

“Because….she is the only reason we even have tickets tonight!” Kaydel covered relatively smoothly. 

“I don’t care who takes shotgun, but we’ve got to get a move on if we’re going to make it on time.” Poe insisted as he rolled down the front window. 

“I won’t take no for an answer Rey.” Kaydel said, and she hopped into the back seat at once. Rey rolled her eyes and gave Finn a quick hug before she climbed into the front. 

“Wow, someone cleans up real good!” Poe teased, and she punched his arm. “And packs a hell of a punch!” 

“Shut it Dameron.” She chuckled. 

“Mmm, that doesn’t really sound like me.” He shrugged. “You girls all look very nice. Too nice for where we’re going, but I’m not going to complain that my fiancée is wearing that dress.” 

“Damn straight, my boobs look amazing in it.” Kaydel high fived Poe without even looking up from her phone.

“Adorable.” Rey said dryly. She shifted a bit uncomfortably, the dress constricting her bust in a way it hadn’t before- perhaps that was because she was over sensitive. She stared out the window and twisted her fingers into the skirt of her dress as she watched the bland city skyline go by. 

“You okay, Rey?”

“Hm?” She turned her head to look at Finn, who was staring at her with a furrowed brow.

“You haven’t said a word or reacted to anything we’ve said for almost half an hour.” He scoffed. 

“Oh- sorry. I guess I’m just tired.” She shrugged. “Was really zoning out there.” 

“Apparently.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “You sure you’re okay?” 

“Right as rain.” She gave him a thumbs up and burrowed further down into her cardigan. 

“Right as rain?” Poe laughed. 

“It’s an expression.” 

“That doctors in the nineteen fifties used.” He laughed again, and she shrugged. “You’re literally the only person I know whose under the age of seventy that talks like that. Even Han and Leia don’t talk like that!”

“Your point is?”

“I don’t have one I guess. Just making an observation.” He pulled into the parking lot, and Rey quickly distributed their passes. 

“Alright. The pass is good for the post concert backstage tour, photo op with Phasma, and some pretty swanky actual concert tickets.” She explained. “I promised Ben I’d stop off to see him before the show, so I’ll meet up with you in...section A 2. Okay?” She didn’t wait for a confirmation as she exited the car and righted her dress. 

She went to the stage door, and handed the security her identification. He checked the list and waved her through at once. She smiled to herself as she walked through the busy hall; Ben always put her on his “approved guest” list. 

“Oh, Mitaka!” She called, noticing Ben’s assistant holding two bottled waters and two bagels. One blueberry, one plain. The sight made her smile; Ben hated blueberry bagels- blueberry anything, actually- but any time she was going to be stopping by backstage, he always made sure there was a blueberry one for her.

“Hello Miss Jakkson.” He said, nodding slightly. His hands trembled a bit, a sign of his ever thinning nerves. 

“It’s Rey, Mitka.” She insisted warmly. “Is Kylo in his usual dressing room?”

“He is, I was just bringing this to him.” 

“I can take it in.” He handed her the items without further question, and she grinned at him before she followed the curve of the stadium to his dressing room. She knocked lightly.

“Come in.” His voice was gruff and she smiled fondly as she opened the door. “Just leave it on the- Rey?”

“Hey.” She closed the door with her hip and set the bagels and water on the side table next to his mask before crossing the room to him. She sat on the counter in front of him, and her stomach felt full of butterflies when his hand rested on her knee. He smiled up at her, and it was infectious. 

“Nice dress. Not exactly what most people wear to one of these you know.”

“So I’ve heard.” She giggled, and felt her face heat up because she was a grown ass woman, and she did not giggle. But seriously, how could she help it? Ben’s hair was braided back from his face, a necessity when he’d be spending over an hour In his helmet, but one that made him look sort of dashing and dangerous. Like a warrior hero from a story of old or something. 

“Seriously. You look beautiful.” He said huskily, and he leaned in and kissed the exposed skin of her thigh where the dress had ridden up. Her breath hitched in her throat, and he grinned at her again before he continued to kiss his way up her thigh.

“Ben…” she sighed softly. Her mind was racing- she should tell him now- she shouldn’t distract him right before his show- kriff his lips were so soft- he should probably know that they didn’t need to do this any more, he’d gotten her pregnant- For kriffs sake, why was she wearing underwear? 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” He admitted as he rose to his full height, now towering over her and leaning with his arms on either side of hers. 

“O-oh?” 

“Mhm.” He grumbled, and he kissed her lips. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her chest to his. He moved to trail his lips down her neck, and she tipped her head back. 

“I thought of you too.” He let out a pleased hum, and she shuddered. “Ben?”

“Hm?”

“I took a test today.” She said as his lips reached the hollow of her throat. 

“What kind of test?” He asked somewhat absently as his tongue dipped into the space between her collar bones. She gave him a second, and suddenly he pulled back and looked at her with wide eyes. “A test test?” 

“A test test.” She confirmed. “Three tests, actually.”

“And it was- they were-“

“Five minutes to places, Mr Ren.” Mitka rapped on the door. 

“Thank you Mitka!” He called back, and then gave Rey his undivided attention. “Rey?”

“Positive. It was positive. They all were.” She didn’t know what sort of reaction she expected from him really. In the past good news had been celebrated with a hug or a high five depending on how good the news was. But he kissed her slow and tender while his hands cupped her face, and his thumb traced circles on her cheek bone. She lifted her hands to clasp his and when he pulled away from the kiss he rested his forehead against hers. “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant. I was starting to wonder- It’s been about the right amount of time since your last- don’t look at me like that, you’re the one who calls me a meticulous planner, of course I was going to keep track to some degree- not that I had a calendar or anything, I swear I didn’t, just a vague idea in the back of my mind...I swear I’m not a creep.” He grinned, and she laughed as tears sprung into her eyes. “We did it.”

“Yeah, we did.” She sniffled, and he pulled her into his arms. She let her fingers trail along the nape of his neck, and he kissed her temple. It all felt so remarkably tender, and all of her fear and stress broke out of her in a little sob. 

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He murmured into her hair, and she nodded. “Tell me what’s in your mind.”

“I’m so happy! I didn’t think it would happen so soon; I was afraid that it wouldn’t happen at all- and it was so hard last month when I wasn’t, I didn't know if I could go through that again.” She admitted, and he held her even tighter. “And I’m scared I’m going to lose it! What if I lose it, Ben? It’s so early-“

“Rey, sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. You’re pregnant, you’re healthy, the doctor told you it was a good time to try.” He insisted, his lips brushing her temple again. 

“Places, Mr. Ren!”

“A minute!” He called over his shoulder. He made no move to release her, but she pushed back against his chest. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve gotta go meet the others.” 

“Are you okay?” He asked again. 

“No. I don’t know.” She shook her head. 

“You can stay here, Rey. Eat something. Relax. You can listen to the show through the monitors or you can turn them off. I won’t be offended either way.” He put his hand on her stomach, and she put hers on top of it. “You can go out there If you want to, but If you don’t, you don’t have to.”

“I’ll text Rose and tell her I’m just going to wait here for you. That I have a headache or something.” 

“Mr. Ren?” 

“I hear you!” He called. “I don’t want to leave you.” 

“It’s okay. I’m actually pretty tired. I can take a nap if I turn off the monitors.” She shrugged. He kissed her forehead and withdrew, grabbing his mask as he made his way towards the door. 

“You’re coming over tonight?” He asked.

“If you still want me to, now that I’m…” She trailed off and looked at her feet. 

“I’ll always want you.” He said softly, and then he went through the door. She stared after him with her jaw slightly slack. Did he mean it? Did he mean it like she wanted him to mean it? She hopped down from the counter and grabbed the red and black flannel he must have come to the stadium in, and put it on over her dress, letting the familiar smell of him wrap around her. She laid out on his over plush sofa and kicked off her sandals. Her hands came to rest on her still flat belly almost without thinking about it. But she stroked it gently, thinking in awe of the life that was just beginning under her hands. 

“Hi there. Um, I’m your mother. You’re really tiny right now, like the size of a poppy seed or something, but I just want you to know that I love you already. I’m so glad you’re here. So just...please, hold on, okay? I’ll do my best to be a good mother to you, give you a great life, all you have to do is hold on in there okay?” She whispered. “Me and your daddy, we’re going to take such good care of you, always, I promise. Just please hold on.”


	8. You Belong With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“I’m actually shocked no one has figured out something’s up...I mean, we have to tell them eventually. ” 
> 
> “Of course.” He nodded. “It’s not like this is going to be something you can hide indefinitely.” 
> 
> “But maybe before we do tell people we should talk about this?” She gestured between the two of them, and at their joined hands. 
> 
> “What about it?” He asked, frowning slightly. 
> 
> “What is this? Are we together?” She asked earnestly as he held the door for her. 
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “I mean, this started as a thing to get me pregnant and I am and we haven’t stopped or anything, so I just don’t understand-“
> 
> “It didn’t start then for me.”"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Just a little FYI/Disclaimer, almost everything I actually know about visa's and gaining citizenship comes from fictional reading and movies, and honestly, I didn't have it in me to research a lot about it when it's really not a main focus in the story. There's a brief mention of Rey's visa in this chapter in the flashback is why I bring it up. 
> 
> Any ways, I hope you enjoy this!

She breathed out a sigh of relief when the RN told her that her blood work was all good, and she was indeed pregnant. She held tight to Ben’s hand, and he kissed the back of it. 

“You did a good job tracking it. Caught it right away. I’m impressed.” The cheery woman said, and Rey could do little else but grin. “We’ll schedule you for an eight week appointment, but everything looks great here. Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” As soon as she left the room, Ben wrapped her in his arms and spun her around in a circle, and she laughed. “Woah there! Careful! Precious cargo!” He set her on her feet and put his hand on her stomach. 

“I got an app on my phone. Says they’re the size of an Appleseed.” 

“You got an app to track it?” She asked, her knees growing weak with the thought. 

“I’m a planner, Rey, you knew this before you asked me to impregnate you.” He rolled his eyes. 

“How do we keep this to ourselves for seven weeks?” She groaned. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted with a frown. “But Rose and Kaydel already know, don’t they?”

“What? How did you-“

“I know you, Rey. You live with Rose, so there’s no way she didn’t find out, and anything Rose knows, Kaydel knows too.” He held up her jacket and she slipped her arms into it. 

“Did you tell anyone?”

“No.”

“Not even Armitage?” 

“I don’t talk to Hux or Phasma really beyond band business most of the time these days. They’re too busy screwing each other to notice. I get it, they’ve been dancing around each other since we were kids, and now it’s still new and exciting to them- but after walking in on them in Hux’s dressing room in Barcelona- I’m giving them a wide berth until all of that is calmed down.” He shrugged. “And Savage And I have never been close friends. He’s just the drummer that First Order records had on hand, and he stuck.”

“Your parents are going to know somethings weird. I canceled dinner with them on Sunday, I never do that.” He reached out for her hand as they left the room, and she gave it to him without hesitation. “I’m actually shocked no one has figured out something’s up...I mean, we have to tell them eventually. ” 

“Of course.” He nodded. “It’s not like this is going to be something you can hide indefinitely.” 

“But maybe before we do tell people we should talk about this?” She gestured between the two of them, and at their joined hands. 

“What about it?” He asked, frowning slightly. 

“What is this? Are we together?” She asked earnestly as he held the door for her. 

“What?”

“I mean, this started as a thing to get me pregnant and I am and we haven’t stopped or anything, so I just don’t understand-“

“It didn’t start then for me.” He cut her off as they walked hand in hand through the crowded streets. “Why do you think I haven’t dated anyone for four years?”

“You have trouble letting people in?”

“Besides that.” He snapped and then let out a sigh. “Okay, Why do you think I haven’t slept with anyone, besides you, for two years?”

“You haven’t?” She asked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. He looked into her eyes and brushed a wayward strand of hair off of her forehead. 

“I haven’t.” He tugged her along And they resumed walking. 

“Why?” She asked so quietly she wasn’t sure he could hear her over the noise of the people on the street. 

“Because I could never stop thinking about you. At first I thought I was insane- you're nine years younger than me-“

“Eight and a half!” 

“And you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. But I wasn’t about to try anything because you became my best friend, basically overnight, and I was helping make sure you were taken care of, and I couldn’t take advantage of you.” She scoffed. “Maybe you think it’s ridiculous, but that’s what I thought- what the world thought, actually. When we first met, Finn was scared I was trying to take advantage of you- even my parents- which is a bit ridiculous because their age gap is bigger than ours. The point was I didn’t take you away from Plutt’s for any reason other than I genuinely didn’t think you were safe, and I don’t know, something in me knew you deserved more. And you know what a mess I was mentally back then, I definitely didn’t think that I was the “more” you deserved. .” 

“Ben.”

“And for a while I really believed that this thing between us was only platonic- which was fine, I loved you and you loved me and we had fun just hanging out as friends, and it felt great to have someone who trusted me and just wanted me around even after they didn’t need me- but then on your twentieth birthday, when I was coming back from that concert, I didn’t get in until eleven at night, but you came to the airport to meet me so I could take you to dinner for your birthday while it was still your birthday, and I just remember thinking I was a goner. You looked so beautiful, just in your jeans and the sweatshirt you stole from me, with your hair in those three kriffing buns like you always have it, and you kept smiling at me, and I knew, I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to deny it to myself anymore.” They stopped walking outside of his building. “Come up?” She nodded. She’d taken a half day at the garage, which Han had happily given to her, telling her she was actually technically about to go over on the amount of vacation days she could legally let build up. They walked hand in hand through the lobby, and when they reached the elevator, he wrapped her in his arms, and buried his face in her neck. She gripped at his shoulders, scrabbling for purchase to keep herself anchored to reality; because this had to be a dream, right? “When you told me you wanted to have a baby, It killed me to think of you having some other faceless mans child. I hated him, even though I knew you’d probably never even meet him face to face. You have no idea how shocked I was when you asked me to be the father of your baby. As if I’d ever deny you anything it was in my power to give.” He kissed her neck and she squirmed against him. “Then you asked me to be your first- kriffing hell, I was one touch away from coming undone right there.”

“Ben!” The elevator doors opened and he took her into his home. 

“And when you fell asleep against my chest I just… I didn’t ever want it to end, Rey. I wanted you to fall asleep in my arms every night. I wanted to kiss you every morning. I wanted to make you scream with pleasure. And I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“You’re telling me now.” She smiled and brushed his hair out of his eyes. 

“And it’s terrifying. But I could never forgive myself if I missed my chance with you because I was a coward.” He admitted. “So you want to know what “this” is, Rey?” He gestured between them. “I’m pretty sure it’s it for me. There’s no one else I can even imagine being with now. I thought you realized- I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear to you. If you don’t feel the same way-“

“Ben- of course I feel the same way. How could I not?” She scoffed, becoming a little choked up. “I think I’ve fallen a little more in love with you every day since we met.”

“You rescued me, you know. I was on such a dark path when I found you. You changed everything.” He cradled her face in his giant hands, and she felt absolutely tiny, and utterly safe. “I’ll admit we went about all of this in a very...unorthodox way, but I think it’s safe to say we’re together.” 

“Together.” She agreed, and he finally kissed her again. 

_“You got it.” Ben grinned at her as he held the envelope. She opened her eyes and gaped at him. “It’s been approved. You officially have a work visa.”_

_“I do?!”_

_“You do!” She grabbed the letter and skimmed it quickly before flinging herself into his arms. She felt the tears welling in her eyes and skimming down her cheeks as he embraced her tightly._

_“Thank you. Thank you!” She kissed his cheek and he pulled back to look at her._

_“You’re the one doing all the work.”_

_“No. That’s not….if it weren’t for you, I’d still be with Plutt. Now I have a place to live, I have a job, i… you… just…” She threw her arms around him again and he embraced her more tightly than before. “Thank you!”_

_“You’re welcome.” He whispered into her hair._

_“Let me take you to dinner!”_

_“No- hey, you don’t have to do that-“_

_“I don’t have to, but I want to! Come on! We have to celebrate!”_

_“Then I’ll pay.”_

_“Don’t-“_

_“You can pay next time.” He rolled his eyes._

_“It was supposed to be a thank you.”_

_“Tonight it’ll be celebrating your visa, next time you can say thank you.” He insisted._

_“...Fine. But you can’t weasel your way out of it, I am buying next time!”_

_“Yes ma’am.” He smirked at her. “Where do you want to go?” She tapped her fingers against her chin as she considered it._

_“Takodana. Burgers. Fries. Milkshakes.”_

_“The classic American trio?” He arched his brow at her._

_“We’re celebrating me getting to stay in America, we’ve got to do it right!”_

_“Fine but we’re getting them to go.”_

_“And eating them where?”_

_“You’ll see.” And forty five minutes later, she found herself seated beside him on the hood of his car, on a cliff side over looking the city._

_“This view is...it’s stunning.” She took another mouthful of her burger and leaned against his shoulder. They were far enough away from the city that they could see the stars and the city lights reflecting on the water below. “You’ve never brought me here before. I don’t know if I should be honored you brought me now or miffed that you kept it from me.”_

_“It’s my favorite spot. As a rule I don’t bring people here.”_

_“You brought me.”_

_“You’re not...people, you’re Rey.” He shrugged, and her heart thumped unevenly. “And besides, I know you won’t go spreading it around.”_

_“I won’t.” She nodded, the motion nuzzling her face further into his shoulder. He smelled so good- he always smelled so good. She straightened up after a moment, afraid of scaring him off, and picked up her strawberry vanilla swirl milkshake. “A toast. To Ben Solo, for saving my life.” He rolled his eyes as he lifted his dark chocolate peanut butter shake, and clinked it against hers._

_“To Rey Jakkson, America’s newest legal mechanic.” They took long pulls of their respective milkshakes, and Rey grinned at him. “What?”_

_“Nothing. I just don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I am right now. That’s all.” He casually leaned back against the hood of his car to look up at the sky._

_“Me either.”_


	9. Mama Mia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“It’s a new week today. App says they’re about the size of a cherry.” He told her, and she grinned down at her tummy. 
> 
> “Growing like a champ, aren’t we?” She crooned affectionately. “I probably won’t be as happy about that once you’re the size of a cantaloupe.” 
> 
> “You’re still going to be so beautiful.” He assured her as if in response to her silent fears. She rolled into his embrace, and he kissed the crown of her head again. "
> 
> Rey and Ben grow closer, and bond over their mutual love for their child, and each other. Then a trip to the mall takes an unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I've been working on the next chapters and I'm super excited- I throw in a lot of fluff that gets in the way of action, so this is probably going to be a relatively long fic, but that's what I'm about.

“You don’t have to be here.” Rey groaned pitifully as Ben stroked the hair he’d just held back for her. 

“Well I’m not leaving unless you tell me you want me to. Even then I might not.” He said softly. She chuckled, but it turned into a quiet moan as she retched again. She leaned back, landing against his warm chest as he reached to flush the toilet. 

“You shouldn’t have to see this. I was hoping you wouldn’t wake up.” She sighed, and he pressed his lips to her temple. 

“It’s fine. I have a strong stomach.” 

“You’d have to to record that garbage song your manager is making you record.” She prodded, and he sighed. “What is it called again? Split you to the bone?”

“The whole band hates it- but It’s one song to release twenty of our own. We can play Snoke’s game for that sort of freedom.” 

“But you don’t even love the music you play in general- it’s too dark for you most of the time and you know it!”

“It’s just one more year, Rey. Then the contract is up and we can finally do the things we want to do.”

“You’ve spent a kriffing decade of your life on this, Ben! You’re thirty one, you’re an adult, he should treat you with more respect!”

“Rey-“ she hears the warning in his tone, a sure sign of an upcoming argument, but he stops speaking when she finds herself heaving again. 

“Ugh, How is there anything left?” She moaned, and she wiped a few forming tears out of her eyes with feeble hands. She let him hold her for a few minutes, their argument suddenly forgotten as she sniffles pitifully into his shirt. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Feel good enough to get back into bed?” He murmured, and she nodded. He scooped her up easily, and she let him. He settled her comfortably in his bed before he went to the kitchen and brought her water, crackers, and a lolly-pop that she eyed questionably. “It’s supposed to help with morning sickness. I looked it up last week and put in an order for you. They had really good reviews.” Tears sprang to her eyes again as she thought of how sweet and wonderful the man climbing into bed beside her was. She took slow sips of the water, nibbled on one cracker, then a second, and took The now unwrapped lollipop he offered her. It was pleasantly tart, and didn’t make her stomach automatically roll, so she counted it as a victory. She laid back against the pillows, and extended her hand to him. He took it immediately, and she rested both of their hands on her belly, which was still flat, but definitely more pudgy than it had ever been in her life. 

“This kid had better be really freaking cute.” She teased, and he grinned at her. They’d had her eight week appointment the week before, and they’d heard the heart beat of their child, and it was like the entire world had shifted around them. 

“It’s a new week today. App says they’re about the size of a cherry.” He told her, and she grinned down at her tummy. 

“Growing like a champ, aren’t we?” She crooned affectionately. “I probably won’t be as happy about that once you’re the size of a cantaloupe.” 

“You’re still going to be so beautiful.” He assured her as if in response to her silent fears. She rolled into his embrace, and he kissed the crown of her head again. “So, three weeks.”

“Three weeks.” She sighed dramatically against his black t-shirt. They’d agreed to keep everything quiet until she hit twelve weeks, and entered her second trimester. And everything included their new found relationship. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to tell everyone, they certainly did, but while only they knew, it was peaceful. Once everyone knew, well, everyone would be involved. Even Rose and Kaydel were relatively in the dark about the full extent of her new attachment to Ben. “Your parents are going to freak out.” 

“Are you kidding? They’re going to rotate between threatening to castrate me for touching their Sunshine, and kissing me for giving them a grandchild. But you, you they’re going to be thrilled about.” He assured her. She twisted her fingers in his shirt, and brushed away a few remaining tears. “They love you. They’ll be thrilled to have you join the family.” She stopped breathing. He stopped breathing. She pulled the mostly consumed pop from her lips and sat up to stare at him with wide hazel eyes. 

“Join the family?” She asked. 

“I mean- eventually. When you’re ready- of course I want you to marry me, but we’ve been together for all of nine weeks and I don’t want to scare you off-“ she cut him off with a kiss, and then another. 

“You can’t scare me away, Solo. I’ve wanted this for too long a time.” She insisted. 

“Serious?” He asked hopefully. 

“Deadly.” She nodded. He kissed her again, propping himself up on his elbows to reach her. She pulled back and put the lollipop back in her mouth and stared at him. “Did- hold on. Did you and I just get- are we engaged?” 

“Is that what you want?” 

“Is that what you want?” She repeated. 

“I already told you it was.” He sat up completely. “I want to marry you, Rey.”

“I want to marry you, Ben.” She whispered, and he tugged her into his arms and onto his lap, and she found herself crying into his shoulder yet again. “Damn mood swings!”

“Sh, it’s okay.” He crooned softly into her hair as his thumbs traced circles on her back. “I love you. I love both of you.”

“I love both of you, so much. You’re my family.” She whimpered, and she felt his lips caress her neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much for everything- I don’t- I don’t even know where I’d be if you hadn’t- I can never repay you for-“

“You’re having my baby. You just agreed to marry me. If you think you possibly owe me anything after that you’re insane.” He said firmly. She rolled her eyes at him, and he just grinned at her. “Okay. That settles it. We’re not engaged yet.”

“What? Why?” She asked, her brow furrowing as she raised her head from it’s place on his chest to look at him. 

“Because I’m going to actually ask you, One of these days. The right way, with a ring, and on one knee and all.” He promised, and her smile returned as she nestled her face back into it’s place over his heart. “I love you, Rey. I think I always have.”

“Me too.” She nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “Always.” They stayed that way for a long while before they got up and started getting ready for the day. As usual, Ben was ready long before she was, but since she’d been pregnant, she’d been so tired in the mornings and evenings that she found herself dragging her feet. Eventually she was all ready to go, even after a series of setbacks. She marched into his living room and groaned. He looked up from where he stood toasting bagels (plain for himself, blueberry cinnamon for her), and gave her a questioning look. “My last pair of jeans no longer zips or buttons, and I could barely get my bra to clasp.” She crossed her arms over her chest, which was well concealed by one of Ben’s bulky dark gray sweaters, and looked disparagingly down at her black sweats.

“I’m not that surprised about the bra. Your boobs have gone up at least half a size.” He remarked casually as he took a sip of a steaming mug she knew was tea. He’d given up his morning coffee without complaint when they’d discovered it triggered her morning sickness. 

“Ben!” 

“Like I wasn’t going to notice?” He quirked his brow at her. “It’s fine, Rey. We can go shopping today. Find you stuff that fits better.”

“I’ll just outgrow it again.” 

“Then we’ll just buy you new things again.” 

“I don’t have that sort of money.” 

“But I do.” She opened her mouth to protest and he held up a hand. “If you really want to marry me, then what’s mine is yours. Not to mention you only need new clothes because you’re having our baby. You’re doing the hard work, let me do what I can, please?” He took both of her hands in his and kissed her knuckles so softly that she had to nod. 

“I didn’t want us to have to spend our day off at the mall.” She sighed. 

“I don’t mind, as long as I get to spend it with you.” He kissed her before he went back to the toaster. 

“How did I get so lucky?” She sighed, leaning on the counter. 

“You didn’t. I did.” 

.......  
He bought her clothes, and the giant soft pretzel she found herself craving. When he peeled off to take a phone call from his manager, Rey quickly peeled off to the lingerie department for the second time. She’d chosen sensible underwear with Ben. Comfy things that would breathe and stretch. But it took no time at all for the same sales girl who’d fit her before to help her select some other pieces. Pieces made of lace and silk in colors that ranged from white to crimson to black. Ben had never seen her in anything like any of these pieces, and she quietly delighted in her surprise for him. She waited for him where he’d left her, absently browsing through slippers. 

“Sorry about all of that.” He kissed her temple. 

“No problem.” She assured him. “We ready to go?” 

“Yeah, no problem, just let me pay.” She must have frowned, because he tilted her chin up and smiled softly at her. “Hey. It’s fine, Rey. I have more money than I know what to do with. Let me take care of you a little, okay?” 

“Fine.” She huffed, and he kissed her on the mouth. 

“Benjamin Charles Organa Solo!” Suddenly he froze against her, and his back went rigid. 

“Is that-“

“Your mother? Absolutely.” Rey nodded. “How do you want to proceed?”’

“We hide.” He whispered, and he linked their fingers together and dragged her through the shoe department. She giggled quietly as she followed him, moving until they were somewhere in the middle of racks of sweaters of every size and color and cut she could imagine. Seeing him crouched behind a particularly long rack of obnoxious orange sweaters may have been one of the funniest things she’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. 

“Very inconspicuous, Ben.” She laughed, and he shushed her. “Why are we hiding?”

“I panicked.” He huffed. “My mother hasn’t caught me kissing a girl since I was fifteen years old.” 

“Well let’s just go-“ 

“She knows it was you. There’s no way she didn’t see that it was you.” 

“So we just tell her then.” 

“In a department store? Do you have any idea what kind of scene she’ll cause?” 

“We won’t tell her about the baby, obviously. Just about us being together.” She whispered calmly, lifting her hand to cradle his cheek. She bit her lip and glanced up  
At him nervously. “Unless you actually think she won’t be happy that we’re-“

“First of all, it wouldn’t matter to me if she wasn’t. But that’s a non issue because that would never happen, which leads to my second point, which is that my Mother may or may not have been pressuring me to make a move on you for the last six months.” 

“What?” 

“Apparently I was acting like an idiot, and she did not raise her son that way.” He smirked. “Apparently it was clear to everyone except me that I was madly in love with you.” 

“I didn’t know.” Rey pointed out. 

“We were both idiots.” He shrugged. “But now, I’m an idiot who didn’t immediately tell his mother that he was dating the girl she wants more than anything to be her daughter in law.” 

“Tell her that I wanted to keep it a secret for a little bit. That I was scared it wouldn’t work out or something.” Rey suggested. “What? She’s not going to stay mad at me, not when she realizes that in my womb grows her long awaited heir.” 

“How much Downton Abbey have you been watching?” He asked suspiciously. 

“Not that much. Only the first three seasons again.” 

“Oh, you mean before-“

“Do you want me to cry in the middle of a department store? Because if you mention certain on screen events, I will cry.” She challenged. He raised his hands in mock surrender, knowing how easily she seemed to cry these days. “It’s going to be okay, Ben.” His phone started buzzing and he looked at it. “Your mom?”

“Yep.” He silenced the call. “Oh, and look at that, already twenty three texts. Twenty five.” 

“Nimble thumbs.” Rey teased. 

“Twenty six.” He groaned, skimming them. “Apparently we are expected at dinner tonight, no excuses, she knows both of our schedules, so there is no getting out of it.” 

“Well, the cats out of the bag then.” She took his hand. “Is that okay?”

“It’s more than okay, Rey. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” He kissed the back of her hand, and she can’t help but grin like a fool in response. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.”


	10. And I Love Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Can I help you with anything Leia?” Rey asked. 
> 
> “No, but I could use Ben’s height to get the dinner plates from the cupboard.” Leia said over her shoulder as she left the room. 
> 
> “I don’t know why she keeps them there if she can’t actually reach them.” Ben grumbled.
> 
> “She doesn’t. I’m the one who puts the dishes away.” Han shrugged. “She can’t reach them unless she drags a chair over, or calls me for help. It’s nice to be needed.” Han winked. “Now go help your mother before she gets impatient.” 
> 
> “Fine.” Ben sighed. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand before he went, and Rey felt her smile grow into a full on grin. The affection felt so natural, as if they’d always been together."
> 
> Family dinner at the Solo house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all- well, with the state of the world right now, I figure we can all use a little extra fluff- especially if the fluff is Reylo, ammIright? I may have the opportunity to post more often in the coming weeks- we'll see! Stay healthy everyone!

_Somehow the fact that Han had been a musician in his younger years wasn’t surprising. He’d never made it big, by choice, he’d remind them constantly, but he’d had quite a following in his time. He said he was too rebellious to be tied down to the stiff contracts studios offered, and besides, music was just fun. His guitarist, Luke Skywalker had been much more willing to toe the line, eventually leading to them dissolving the Nerfherders._

_Han said that it was all well and good. He’d never have met Luke’s twin sister if he hadn’t responded to the call for a bassist who could sing. Hell, he’d even brought Chewie into the mix as a drummer. He’d never had a real family, and he’d forged one through music._

_It was a magical story to Rey._

_She’d loved music as a small child, spent more hours than she should have hunched over her old hunk of junk guitar, and for a little while, as she’d practiced and learned to copy the chords by imitating the songs on Plutts ancient radio, she wasn’t so alone. Of course, that was before Plutt had smashed the guitar to bits and ruined any illusion she’d had that she might be able to get somewhere with music if she’d only keep practicing. It was hard to feel any hope at all._

_But sitting, listening to Ben, Han, and Chewie play together in the basement of the Solos house, sound proofed, Leia had told her, a feeling hope started to flare again. It was impossible not to with the way their music blended so perfectly, sending goosebumps down her arms. Next to her Leia was smiling as she watched her husband and son playing together, and sipped at a glass of wine._

_“What do you think Rey? Better than the knights of ren, huh?” Leia asked, whispering theatrically to be heard over the music._

_“Leaps and bounds.” Rey grinned at her, making Leia laugh. As they finished up their last chorus, Chewie played them out with an over dramatic drum solo, and Rey and Leia applauded and cheered accordingly._

_“Alright, I’ve gotta take a break.” Chewie laughed, stretching his arms. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”_

_“Spoilsport.” Han teased, making Chewie throw one of his drumsticks at him. “What about you son, you working on anything new?”_

_“Oh, uh. Not really no. Nothing exciting.” He shrugged, his fingers still moving through a series of chords._

_“Well, this is boring. What are we supposed to do for entertainment?” Han asked as he came to sit beside Leia on the worn sofas arm._

_“I haven’t been working on anything new, but Rey and I have been working on a few acoustic arrangements of songs together.” Ben said, and Rey looked at him with wide eyes._

_“You have?!” Leia asked, her eyes delighted._

_“Um, not really, no.” Rey lied._

_“Come on sunshine, don’t be shy!” Chewie encouraged._

_“We played for you, you play for us. It’s a fair exchange.” Han insisted. Rey rose stiffly from the sofa and went to the stool at Ben’s side._

_“I don’t have my guitar.” She protested quietly._

_“Do you need an acoustic honey? My old ones on the wall over there. You’ll probably need to tune it, but it should still sound alright.” Leia said, gesturing to the wall._

_“I’ll tune it for you.” Ben said softly, going to grab it off it’s hook. “This’ll take a minute.”_

_“That’s fine sweetheart.” Leia said, looking over and whispering to Han and Chewie._

_“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can just go, make our escape.” Ben suggested quietly and she rolled her eyes._

_“No, it’s fine. I...I like playing with you.” She whispered, chewing her lip. He handed her the guitar, about the same size as her Pluto, and picked up the acoustic he’d been playing earlier._

_“Does it feel alright?” He asked as she stretched her fingers through a chord progression. She nodded._

_“What song?” She asked anxiously._

_“I threw you under the bus, you pick.” He smiled at her, and she had to grin back._

_“Say something?” She asked, and he groaned._

_“You’re going to make me sing?”_

_“It’s only fair.” She smirked and he sighed._

_“You kids going to play, or…” Han called, and Ben rolled his eyes._

_“Yeah dad.” He turned so he was facing her, their knees touching. “You ready?” She nodded, and began to strum a single string, just as they’d practiced when they played this song together. She started the music, then he joined with the lyrics. “Say something, I'm giving up on you.” His rich bass rumbled, and she swore she felt it in her chest. “I'll be the one, if you want me to.” She wanted to close her eyes and revel in the sound of it. But she couldn’t take her eyes off of his face as he started to play with her, his more complicated plucking blending magnificently with her chording. “Anywhere, I would've followed you- Say something, I'm giving up on you.” She took a quick breath, jumping in with the harmony they’d spent a good six hours perfecting._

_“And I am feeling so small. It was over my head, I know nothing at all. And I will stumble and fall, I'm still learning to love, Just starting to crawl. Say something, I'm giving up on you, I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere, I would've followed you! Say something, I'm giving up on you!” Their eyes connected for what felt like an endless moment, and she had to take another trembling breath before they started again. “And I will swallow my pride, You're the one that I love, And I'm saying goodbye! Say something, I'm giving up on you  
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
And anywhere, I would have followed you  
Oh, oh, oh, oh say something, I'm giving up on you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you  
Say something.” Their last chords rang out in the silence, and she held his eyes. Slowly his face broke into a massive grin, and she felt like she could breathe again. _

_“Holy. Shit.” Chewie finally rumbled, and only then did she turn to look at them. It almost looked like Leia was crying, and she was definitely filming. Han’s jaw was agape, and she let out a tiny laugh._

_“Kid. You shouldn’t be working at my garage. Or any kriffing garage for that matter.” Han huffed. “Not with talent like that.” She felt cheeks burn and she shook her head._

_“Oh, no. No. I’m really not that good- it’s Ben-“_

_“Kid. We’re his parents. We know how talented he is.” Han said, and a quick sideways glance at Ben revealed his almost imperceptible pride at the words. “But that...that was something else.”_

_“He’s right. The two of you together…” Leia grinned. “You really should be playing for people.”_

_“And what are you? Aliens?” Rey teased._

_“Could be. Chewie’s pretty hairy.” Han shrugged, earning an elbow in his gut._

_“We should get going.” Rey said abruptly. “I have to work early, finish a few things up before I take Off the rest of the morning.”_

_“I’ve heard your boss is a real hardass.” Leia smirked, and Han gave her his best wounded expression._

_“Would a hardass invite his two best employees to weekly dinner even though they could both eat him out of house and home? Even our son doesn’t do that, and he’s a kriffing giant!”_

_“And on that note…” Ben muttered as he started to pack up his guitar._

_“Rey, come upstairs. I wanted to send you with that leftover pie you mentioned Rose would like.” Leia announced._

_“Oh, she would love that! Apple is her favorite.” Rey smiled, returning Leia's old guitar to its hook. She followed Her up the steps through the hall to the kitchen and leaned against the counter as Leia took the pie plate and covered it in foil._

_“I’m sure I can trust you to bring the plate back next time you come over?”_

_“Scouts honor.” Rey nodded, crossing her heart for good measure. Leia grinned at her, and looked back at the pie, taking care to fold the foil around the edge._

_“Tell me Rey, are you seeing anyone?”_

_“What?” Rey was glad Leia hadn’t handed over the pie yet- she probably would’ve dropped it._

_“Are you seeing anyone?”_

_“Like, romantically?”_

_“Yes?” Leia barked a laugh. “Are you?”_

_“Oh- ah- no, I’m not.”_

_“Really? A pretty thing like you?”_

_“Well it’s not that no one asks so much as it is-“ she pressed her lips together, and looked down at her hands. “It’s a choice, to be single right now. You know, figure out my own life before I throw someone new in the mix.”_

_“Of course honey.” Leia nodded. “Besides, no harm in waiting for the right one. Han is the only man I’ve ever dated as an adult, and I knew it would be that way from the moment that scruffy looking bassist walked into Luke’s recording session. Sometimes it just hits you, you know?”_

_“Yeah.” Rey nodded absently. She felt like she did know. It was that feeling she’d gotten as soon as she’d opened Plutt’s garage door and seen Ben standing there. A feeling she tried not to think about, since Ben showed no inclination to think of her as anything but a friend. A close friend- his best friend, yes. But not…_

_“Rey? You ready?” Ben asked, startling her from her thoughts._

_“Oh, yeah.” She glanced at Leia who set the wrapped pie in a reusable shopping bag and handed it to her._

_“Here you go honey. Give Rose my love- we’ll have to have all of you kids around soon. Bring some life into this place, since someone…” she turned her gaze sharply on her son. “Refuses to give me grandchildren.”_

_“Ma.” Ben groaned, rolling his eyes._

_“Nearly thirty one this one, and refusing to settle down with a nice girl, wasting the great genetics you’ve been gifted with-“_

_“Mom.” Ben said sharply. She raised her hands in mock surrender, and beckoned him down to her level so she could kiss his cheek. “See you soon, mom.”_

_“Next week.” She confirmed, her tone leaving no room for argument. She took Rey in her arms and kissed her cheek. “You too.”_

_“Yes Ma’am.” Rey grinned. She followed Ben out the door and climbed into the front seat of his car while he deposited his guitar in the trunk. He climbed in and started the engine, and they were five minutes into the hour and a half drive before either of them spoke._

_“They’re right, you know. You really are very talented. You could make a career out of it.” He said, glancing at her without really taking his eyes off of the road._

_“Yeah, right.” She snorted._

_“I’m serious, Rey.” He huffed. “You don’t see yourself like the rest of the world does. Like I do.”_

_“...like you do?” She asked quietly, her eyes fixed on his face. He nodded once, a movement almost imperceptible._

_“I could set up a meeting for you.” He said, quickly changing the subject. “I know some people.”_

_“I don’t think my playing is exactly what First Order records is looking for, Ben.”_

_“I wasn’t talking about Snoke! I don’t want you anywhere near his shit. Ever.” He growled, his fingers wrapping around the steering wheel even tighter. Kriff, his hands were so big- was she honestly envious of a steering wheel right now? “I meant...I was talking about my Uncle Luke.” She felt her jaw go slack._

_“What?”_

_“He has his own label, Twin Suns. I think he would like your sound. I could call him.”_

_“But you don’t speak to your uncle Luke.” Rey sputtered._

_“No, I don’t. But I would for you.” He shrugged._

_“What is it about me that makes you contact relatives after literal years of separation?” Rey asked with a slight smile, hoping to divert the course of conversation,_

_“What is it about you that makes it impossible to see your own talent?” He countered._

_“I’m here on a work visa, Ben, that your mother had to pull about a thousand strings to get for me. It’d be pretty hard to keep that if I was off somewhere else trying to launch my music career.”_

_“As if Han would ever fire you, Rey! He likes you more than he likes me.”_

_“That’s not true Ben.” She said firmly. His lips pressed into a hard line, and he looked on the verge of speaking. “Look, I’ll think about it, okay? Let me just get through Kaydel’s women power sisterhood gyno visit first.”_

_“Is that tomorrow?” Ben asked, holding back a laugh._

_“Nine in the kriffing morning. That’s why I’m going into the garage at six. I have a car that needs picked up by ten, so I’ll get it ready so all Han has to do is exchange paperwork.” Rey explained._

_“And it’s not like, weird to go to the gynecologist with your friends?”_

_“It’s not like we’re going in the room together. It’s just… Kaydel is really sensitive about… well, reproductive health. She lost her mom to cervical cancer, and then her older sister found out at around Kay’s age that she couldn’t have kids. Kaydel wants to check in on both fronts, and she’s less scared if we all go together.”_

_“No, I think it’s nice. Sweet, even. But also, you would never catch a group of men going to a doctor together to get their junk checked out.” He smirked, and She swatted his shoulder. “What?!”_

_“You are so ridiculous, you know that Ben Solo?”_

_“And yet you keep me around.”_

_“I didn’t say I wasn’t ridiculous too.” She pointed out, and his smile turned into something warmer that made her lower belly burn._

_“Yeah. I know.”_

The drive to his parents house was relatively silent. She had worn the baggiest sweater she’d chosen that day, hoping to obscure her changing body from even Leia's observant eyes. Of course it wouldn’t do her any good if she started throwing up; which she felt like she might at any second. 

“You okay?” Ben asked, laying his hand on her thigh. She twined their fingers together and nodded tensely. “You look pale.” 

“I’m fine.” She insisted, closing her eyes and counting her breaths. 

“Are you anxious? Because you shouldn’t be. They’re not going to be mad.” He assured her. “Well, they will be mad at me, but they’re not going to be mad at you.” She cracked a small smile, and she could almost visualize his frown. “Rey…”

“Can I turn on the radio? Thanks.” She said quickly as she turned it on. Soft strains of The Long and Winding road filled her senses, and almost put her at ease as she bummed along. 

“We can go home if you want to.” He said softly, cutting through the small amount of distraction the song had provided. 

“We can’t turn back now, we’re over half way there, Ben. And your mother would definitely show up at your place tonight if we bailed, and then she’d see the unsorted bags of maternity clothes in the living room and the prenatal vitamins I left on the counter, and the baby name book we left on the coffee table and maker knows what else.” She ranted without opening her eyes. “We just...just have to make it through a few hours, and then in a few weeks, we can tell them.” 

“We could tell them tonight.” She opened her eyes then and gaped at him. He shrugged. “Drop all the bombs at once, so to speak.” 

“But it’s… Ben if people know and something goes wrong…” she bit her lip, and put her hand over her stomach. “I’m scared.” He glanced at her, and swiftly put on his hazards and pulled to the side of the road. “What are you-“ He cupped her face in his giant hands and pressed his lips to hers softly. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay to be scared, Rey. This is kriffing scary, okay? And I want to be able to say nothing is going to happen, that it’s all going to be perfect, but I can’t, and that’s what really kriffing scares me. Because I swore when I took you away from that monster that I wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to you.” His thumb traced the line of her cheek absently As she stared into his eyes. “I can’t promise that everything is going to work out the way we want it to. The way we hope it will. But I can promise that no matter what, I will love you. I will be there with you. And we can wait as long as you want to wait to tell people. But it doesn’t make a difference to me, because as far as I’m concerned, you’re already that kids mom, and I’m their dad, and nothing’s going to take that away from us, okay?”

“...okay.” She breathed, tilting her face up for another kiss. “Okay.” He kissed her lips, then her cheeks, her eyelids, and finally her forehead. “We can...we can tell them tonight.” 

“Yeah?” His lips curled into a devastatingly handsome half smile that filled her stomach with butterflies and sent warmth pooling between her thighs. 

“If you want to.” She smiled. 

“If I want to? Rey, I want to tell literally everyone, all the time. Random kriffing strangers we bump into when we’re grocery shopping, literally, every time we pass someone, I’m about a half a second away from announcing that you’re having my baby.” He’s half joking, she can tell from his tone, but it makes her stomach flip a little with excitement. “I’d especially love to tell the not so subtle assholes who think they’re subtly checking you out. But I’d also like to kick their asses, so.” 

“Ben!” She protested with a laugh. He got them back on the road again, and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Besides, who’d believe that a goddess like you would intentionally have a baby with an awkward giant like me?” 

“Awkward giant? Please, do you know how many women I’ve caught checking you out over the years? Do you know how good it feels to finally actually have a reason to be jealous?” She scoffed. 

“You don’t have to be jealous, Rey.”

“Yes I do! Because you’re mine. And they can’t have you. And if I have to see one more article about how fine Kylo Ren’s ass is in those leather pants, or about if the size of a trouser bulge is actually accurate, I’m going to kick some “journalists” ass!” She huffed, crossing her arms. 

“Don’t worry Rey, they can look but they can’t touch.” He chuckled. 

“Damn right they can’t. That ass is mine.” She said possessively. “Besides, as good as Kylos ass looks in leather pants, Ben Solos ass looks better in his work jeans.” 

“My work jeans? I don’t think I’ve worn those for months.” He laughed. “Probably not since I helped mom and dad paint their living room, what? Six months ago?”

“Mmm-maybe you should break those bad boys out.” She grinned at him. 

“Oh I should?” 

“Absolutely.” The grin he flashed her was dazzling. 

“Oh, hey it’s your favorite!” He turned up the volume as Octopus’s Garden started to play and She rolled her eyes. 

“Ben!” She protested. He knew full well that this was probably her least favorite Beatles song- not that she actually disliked it, she didn’t, it was just her least favorite- but he began to sing along, and she laughed and joined in, singing louder to be heard over the volume of the stereo. She was grateful to Ben, because well, he’d managed to do it again. When she was on the verge of a break down, or a panic attack, he always turned into such a dork to try to make her smile again- of course he only did that after he’d made absolutely sure she was alright. She knows without asking that he’d never act like this in front of anyone else; not even his parents. Just for her. Just to make her smile, he’d drop his stoic, serious mask and belt out Beatles lyrics so loudly it was impossible to tell if he was in the right key or not. Not that it mattered- she was singing just as loudly, and she honestly had no idea if she was in the right key or not, or even if what she was doing was singing so much as it was shouting. After another ten minutes of belting out lyrics together, she turned down the radio again and shifted in her seat so she could see him better. “So. How do we tell them?” 

“Well, I don’t think we can wait to tell them we’re dating. I’m positive mom’s already told them.” Ben smirked. “But as for telling them about the baby, I do have an idea.” 

“Oh?” 

“You know Danny’s Song, Right?” 

“The words, yes. The chords, no.” 

“I know the chords.” He assured her. “And the harmonies. Mom and dad used to sing it to me, when I was a kid. When they were both actually home, they’d sing it to me before bed.” 

“And so you’re telling me you want me to sing it in front of your parents and uncle, who happen to also be my employer and co-worker, to tell them that I’m pregnant with their son’s child?” 

“I mean...Why not?” He asked, and she stopped short and huffed out a laugh. 

“Okay. Why not?” 

“Yeah?” 

“After dinner, we’ll sing.” She agreed, and he grinned even bigger at her. 

“We probably won’t even get through the whole song honestly. My mother is going to freak out as soon as she realizes.” Ben chuckles. 

“You’re sure they’re not going to be mad?”

“They won’t be mad. Surprised, maybe, but they won’t be mad at you sweetheart.” 

“Do you promise?”

“Cross my heart.”   
….  
“Look who finally showed up!” Han grinned as he greeted them at the front door. 

“Finally? We’re maybe ten minutes late?” Ben scoffed. 

“After skipping Sunday dinner for the last month- honestly, I don’t know who you kids thought you were fooling.” Han chuckled as he led them inside. “And the one time you both actually came to dinner before that, you couldn’t stop sneaking glances at each other. Honestly, kids, you’re not that slick.” 

“So, seems like mom already broke the news.” Ben whispered in her ear as he took her coat to put on the peg next to his. 

“And none of us were surprised!” Han called over his shoulder as he headed to the living room. 

“Not too late to run.” Ben teased. 

“Oh yes it is. Your mother would hunt us down for sure.” She laughed. 

“You sure you’re okay? You still look a little pale.” He murmured softly, cupping her cheek. 

“Just a little nauseous.” She smiled. “Nothing I can’t handle. As long as she didn’t make anything with bacon. Because then I think I might throw up.” 

“She said she was making coconut crusted chicken and rice. Does that sound okay?” 

“Sounds good. Just keep the red wine away from me.” She teased. 

“Does the smell of that make you sick now too?” He asked, mildly concerned.

“No- but if your mom offers it during dinner she knows it’s my favorite, and she’s definitely going to know something’s going on if I refuse a glass.” 

“She’s definitely going to know something’s up if we don’t leave the entryway.” He countered. 

“Well. Shall we?” She asked, and he just grinned as he took her hand and pulled her into the living room. 

“So! Kid, how long have you been dating our sunshine?” Chewie asked as soon as they were in sight. “Is he treating you right sunshine? I don’t need to kick his ass?”

“He treats me very well Chewie. We’re very happy together.” Rey laughed. 

“Well, just let me know if that changes.” Chewie winked. 

“If that changes I don’t need you to kick his ass for me.” Rey grinned, and Han and Chewie laughed. 

“I’m literally standing right here, holding your hand. You realize that right?” Ben scoffed. 

“So. Your mother said she caught you two making out at the mall today.” Han said casually as he poured himself a whiskey. 

“Okay, if you say it like that it sounds like we’re in High School, dad.” 

“Well, you did run away from me like you were.” Leia smirked at them as she entered the living room. 

“And we were not making out either. I just kissed her. Casually. Because I’m her boyfriend.” Ben said stiltedly, his face blazing red. Though, she was certain her face wasn’t much better. 

“Which brings us back to the question of how long the two of you have been together.” Leia looked altogether too smug as she kissed first Rey’s cheek, and then Ben’s. “We have a bit of a pool going.” 

“Seriously Mom?” Ben scoffed. 

“Well?” Leia prompted. Ben sighed and glanced at Rey, who nodded. 

“I guess we’ve been together about three months now?” 

“I knew it! That was around the time you both started getting really weird about coming to dinner.” Leia grinned triumphantly. “I couldn’t figure out why the hell you wouldn’t just tell me-”

“That was my fault.” Rey said immediately. “I...I didn’t want to make a big deal of it- especially if it wasn’t going to work out.” 

“But you think it is going to?” Leia asked with a hopeful smile. 

“Yeah.” Rey smiled, looking up at Ben. “I think it is.” 

“Well, it’s about damn time.” Han huffed. 

“About damn time? You're the one who told me to keep my hands off of your best employee!” Ben laughed exasperatedly. 

“Your best employee!?” Chewie gasped. “I’m hurt!” 

“Hey- I never told you to keep your hands off, I told you to figure out what you wanted before you hurt her or hurt each other. Something very meaningful along those lines.” Han insisted and then shrugged. “Actually, I was drunk, So I’m not entirely sure how the conversation went, but that was the jist of what i meant.” 

“Ah, Solo men. They just get more charming with age.” Leia rolled her eyes even as she smiled fondly at her husband. “Dinner’s almost ready.” 

“Can I help you with anything Leia?” Rey asked. 

“No, but I could use Ben’s height to get the dinner plates from the cupboard.” Leia said over her shoulder as she left the room. 

“I don’t know why she keeps them there if she can’t actually reach them.” Ben grumbled.

“She doesn’t. I’m the one who puts the dishes away.” Han shrugged. “She can’t reach them unless she drags a chair over, or calls me for help. It’s nice to be needed.” Han winked. “Now go help your mother before she gets impatient.” 

“Fine.” Ben sighed. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand before he went, and Rey felt her smile grow into a full on grin. The affection felt so natural, as if they’d always been together, and now that he could kiss her in public, everything felt so real. Real and wonderful. 

“So sunshine, is that why you’ve been taking so many half days at the garage?” Chewie asked, and she felt her face grow hotter. 

“Oh- I- Yes. I’m sorry that I’ve been gone so much, I-”

“Relax, Kid. He’s messing with you.” Han laughed. “Honestly, you haven’t missed that much. You’ve taken what? Maybe ten half days and five sick days in the last four years you’ve been working for me? Honestly, you’re supposed to get more vacation time, you just never take it.” 

“I’ve never had a reason, I guess.” Rey shrugged. 

“Well, make that boy of mine take you somewhere. Maker knows he has enough money for it.” Han smiled, but Rey shook her head. 

“I’m never going to make him take me anywhere or spend any of his money on me.” She said firmly, suddenly afraid one of her biggest fears had been realized and someone thought she only wanted Ben for his money. “I just want Ben. That’s all.” 

“Oh, sunshine, we know you’re not a gold digger!” Han laughed once, a shocked sound. 

“Well, if you are, you’ve been playing a hell of a long game.” Chewie rolled his eyes. 

“And honestly, there would be much easier targets than my stubborn pain in the ass progeny to weasel money from.” Han pointed out. “You’ve got principals, kid, and I honestly don’t believe you’d waste your time being with someone you didn’t care about.”

“And you do care about Benny boy, don’t you?” Chewie asked, his tone equal parts amused and hopeful. 

“Yes. I care about him very, very much.” Rey nodded, feeling a bit choked up all of the sudden. “Ben is...Ben is my favorite person in the whole world.” 

“That right there is all a parent can really hope for for their kid when it comes to love and dating. That they find a best friend who puts up with them no matter what shit they go through or what stupid stunt they pull..” Han smiled. “I have that, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for my son.” 

“Aw, are you talking about your relationship with Chewie?” Rey teased. 

“Psh. He wishes!” Chewie roared with laughter. Han threw an ice cube from the bar at him, laughing when it tangled in Chewie’s beard. 

“Dinner!” Leia called from the kitchen, effectively ending any chance for Chewie to retaliate.  
….  
“Hold on! Don’t start yet. I brought the good camera!” Leia smiled as she set the tripod up in front of them. 

“Mom, Seriously?” Ben sighed. 

“What? You two are good together- I want recordings for posterity!” Leia insisted. 

“I think a recording on your phone could suffice.” Ben grumbled.

“You’ve been avoiding being seen together for months to avoid telling me that the two of you are dating, let me have this!” Leia chuckled. Ben just shrugged as he set the two stools in the center of the little basement music room, and grabbed his acoustic guitar. Rey’s fingers trembled as she took a seat, and she laid a hand on his thigh when he sat beside her. He put his hand on top of hers and gave her a look as if to say “you ready for this?”. She nodded sharply, and took a deep breath. 

“So what are you kids singing for us tonight?” Han asked from his seat between Leia and Chewie on the faded red couch. 

“It’s a surprise.” Ben smirked, glancing at Rey. They’d worked it out in the car. He’d start singing the first verse, and she’d take over. If it wasn’t as obvious to his parents as they thought, they’d sing the whole song through and then tell them- Well, most of it. They’d worked out an abridged version for themselves on the rest of the drive over- but Rey had a feeling they’d understand. Not much got past Leia Organa Solo. 

“Well then, let’s hear it kids!” Chewie said, clapping his hands to emphasize. Ben glanced at her again, and she gave his leg a gentle squeeze, hoping the gesture could assure him that she was really alright. He took a deep breath, and she felt tingles across her arms as he started to play. 

_“People smile and tell me, I'm the lucky one, And we've just begun, Think I'm gonna have a son. He will be like she and me, As free as a dove, Conceived in love, Sun is gonna shine above”_ She chanced a glance at their little audience, Ben’s family, who had varying looks on their faces. Leia seemed curious- almost suspicious. Han looked content, pleased even. Chewie was just smiling and had his eyes closed as he listened. She took a deep breath. 

_“Even though we ain't got money I'm so in love with you, honey, And everything will bring A chain of love, In the mornin', when I rise, You bring a tear of joy to my eyes, And tell me everything is gonna be alright.”_ She looked at Ben while she sang, so she wouldn’t lose her nerve. He was her calm, her happy place, which he would be the first person to call ironic, since he was prone to temper tantrums- but he was her rock. He had been since the night they met. He harmonized with her as she began their next verse. _“Pisces, Virgo rising Is a very good sign, Strong and kind And the little boy is mine. But, now I see a family Where once was none, Now we've just begun…”_ she couldn’t help the way her hand found her still mostly flat belly when she sang that part- she hear Leia gasp, Han cursed quietly under his breath, and Chewie let out a disbelieving chuckle. _“Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun. Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey And everything will bring A chain of love, And in the morning, when I rise You bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything is gonna be alright…”_ Ben finished the song off with a gentle strum of a last chord, and they turned to look at his family almost in perfect unison. 

“What?” Han asked, his face a picture of shock. 

“Is she- are you two- are you serious?” Leia asked, her eyes glistening with tears. Rey nodded, and Leia flew up off of the sofa and rushed to embrace her. “Kriff! Let me look at you! Beautiful girl - is that why she’s so pale? Is it morning sickness? Lemon drops, im telling you right now, lemon drops will save your life!” 

“Hold on a second- she’s pregnant? Is that why you two got together, or-“

“Dad!” Ben scoffed. 

“Don’t be an idiot, Han, these two have been crazy about eachother from the day they met, and the only ones who didn’t realize it was them!” Leia insisted. “But that does lead to the question how far along are you?”

“Nine weeks.” Rey confirmed. 

“Over half way through that first trimester- that’s good! The second one really is a lot better!” 

“Well, shit,congratulations you two!” Han laughed, finally rising from his seat to pat his son on the back and embrace Rey. “Is this the real real reason why you’ve been taking so many half days?”

“I throw up a lot.” Rey nodded. “But once I hit the second trimester, my energy is supposed to go up a lot. So I swear I won’t leave you short handed-“

“Don’t you worry about that sunshine.” Chewie insisted. “Don’t worry about any of that. You take good care of your little one. And Ben, you take damn good care of her!” 

“Always.” Ben vowed. 

“This is such great news! I feel like I should break out champagne, except Rey can’t have it!” Leia laughed. 

“Oh- please! Don’t stop yourself on my account! It’s good to see you all so excited- I was actually really nervous to tell you!” Rey chuckled nervously. 

“Oh dear, you’re a grown woman! You don’t have to be anxious or nervous about telling the parents about an unplanned pregnancy!” Leia patted her hand, and Rey felt her cheeks turn pink. 

“Actually it wasn’t unplanned.” Rey admitted, and then bit her lip. “I mean… oh Kriff, I should’ve just said it was.” 

“You two planned this?” Han asked, looking a bit more disbelieving. 

“We did.” Ben said evenly. A glance at him would’ve shown a blush painting his pale features, across his ears, and, now she knew, down his chest. 

“And that was something you...both wanted?” Chewie asked. 

“It was my idea!” Rey interjected. “I… wow, I really should’ve just let them think this was an accident- but it was- I went to see the doctor and I had some tests run and as it turns out a lifetime of malnutrition and abuse sort of left me physically short changed in a lot of areas- including my um..my…”

“Baby maker?” Ben suggested with a soft smile, and she laughed nervously. 

“Right. My baby maker. Any ways, long story short, I was told that if I wanted to have children, I need to do it, like, immediately. And I do want to have kids so I had to figure out what route I wanted to take to have them- and again, long story short, Ben and I agreed to have a baby together and in the interim we realized we loved each other and have for a long time.” She spoke quickly, her fingers playing with the hem of her sweater. “So there’s that story. Ta-da…”

“Well...if that’s what it took for you both to stop being dumb asses.” Han said casually after what felt like an endless awkward silence. Everyone laughed a little at that, the tension broken.

“Oh! I should turn off the camera!” Leia realized. “Maker, I’m glad I recorded that, beautiful song, the news I’m going to be a grandmother, all recorded for posterity!” 

“Oh shit.” Rey groaned suddenly. She shut her eyes, praying the dizziness and the churning of her stomach would pass.

“I’m sorry, but you know how my mom can be-“ Ben cut himself off as he looked at her face. Without a word he set aside his guitar and rushed for the waste basket next to the stairs, grabbing it and handing it to her before he held her hair back. 

“Sorry!” She squeaked between heaves. 

“Don’t apologize sweetheart!” Leia insisted. “Han, Chewie, those dishes upstairs won’t wash themselves. Let’s go.” She ushered the men towards the stairs quickly. “I’ll see if I can scrape up some peppermint tea. That used to work for me too.” When Rey finally cracked open her eyes, she found they were alone, and she heaved a sigh of relief. 

“You Okay?” Ben didn’t release her hair yet, but his thumb traced little circles at the nape of her neck. 

“I just threw up in front of your family and by extension, my boss. Everything is terrific.” 

“If it makes you feel any better I’ve thrown up in front of or on each one of them at some point in my life.” She snorted and set aside the waste basket. “Gum?” He asked. She evaluated her stomach for a moment, and nodded. He placed the unwrapped stick in her hand, and she popped it in her mouth, instantly grateful for the sweet mint flavor that coated her tongue. 

“Since when do you buy sweet mint? I thought you liked wintergreen and hated all things sweet except for the desserts at Maz’s.” She observed as he was moving the waste basket away from her. 

“I do, but you don’t.” He shrugged. “And I don’t actually like chewing gum that much, so I just grabbed what you like.” 

“Ben. Thank you.” She stood up slowly, and crossed the room to his side. She ignored the mild nausea that lingered, and wrapped her arms around his waist, buried her nose between his shoulder blades, and then pressed a kiss there. One of his hands clasped her joined hands on his belly, and she grinned. “You’re the best man, and best partner I could have ever hoped for- actually, you’re so much better than anything I ever let myself imagine. I just love you a lot, Ben.” 

“I love you too. So much.” He squeezed her fingers. “Finding you was the greatest stroke of luck I’ve ever had. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Well, both of you are.” 

“You know, now that we’ve told your family, we should probably tell Finn and Poe. And probably Maz, because I can’t stand the thought of eating a turkey club, and she’s going to be suspicious...but maybe we can wait until I hit twelve weeks. Just for my peace of mind. ” Rey said. 

“Yeah. We can tell them whenever you’re ready.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “I have some of those morning sickness lolly pops in the car.” 

“And I literally thought there was no way that I could love you more.” 

“I can also order chicken noodle soup and plain toast for delivery from the deli you love, so that it gets there when we get home.” 

“And there you go again!” He let go of her hands and turned in her embrace until he could rest his hands on her hips. 

“You feel better?” 

“Lots.” She nodded. 

“Good enough for the drive home?” 

“I think so. Maybe I should ask your mom for a trash bag, just in case.” 

“I always have a trash bag in the car, Rey. I’m not an animal.” He scoffed. 

“Of course, I don't know what I was thinking.” She laughed. He bent down and rested his forehead against hers. “I really love you, even though you are a clean freak, and a perfectionist, and a meticulous planner. Or maybe I love you because of all of that.” 

“I love you because you’re chaotic, and messy, and loud, and radiant like the kriffing sun.” He murmured. He inclined his face to kiss her, and she twisted away at the last second. 

“Ben! I just puked- like a lot!” She laughed. 

“Oh- right. I don’t know, you’re chewing gum, you’re not contagious.” He shrugged. 

“Ben!” 

“What? I wasn’t going to french you- it was going to be a very romantic peck.” He insisted, and she kissed him on the cheek. 

“Later. After I’ve brushed my teeth.”


	11. Somebody To Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“What time do you have to be to work again?” He asked between kisses he pressed to her neck. 
> 
> “Uh- um…” She tilted her head back and moaned softly. “Ten. But I have to get on the subway at-”
> 
> “Screw the subway. I’ll drive you.” he insisted, carrying her out of the master bathroom and directly to his bed. 
> 
> “Don’t you have to be at the studio this morning?” She asked breathlessly even as she shed her own shirt and laid back against his pillows without a stitch of clothing. 
> 
> “Please, the rest of the band doesn’t wake up until eleven unless we have to meet Snoke, which we don’t today, thank the maker.” He licked his lips as he knelt in front of her, nudging her legs open to make space for his massive shoulders between them. "
> 
> A morning in Ben Solo's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, it's been a rough couple of days for everyone and I've been a really lousy mood, but my day was really made when a fic I liked posted early, so I decided to post early in the hopes it can cheer up at least one person!

“We have a tour coming up.” Ben said one morning while he shaved and she brushed her teeth. She nodded- of course, she’d known that. Ireland, England and Scotland, then France, Italy, Germany, Poland, finishing in Spain. A month long tour. A month he’d be gone. She spit in the sink and rinsed her mouth. 

“Yeah. You do.” She said evenly. “A month.” 

“A month and a half, with travel dates.” He amended. “But, I was thinking- well, I wondered if you might- Kriff, Rey, do you want to come?” She dropped her toothbrush and it clattered into the sink. “Are you going to be sick?” 

“N-no, I’m fine.” She retrieved the brush and rinsed it, though she was sure Ben would throw it away and replace it with a new one before this evening. She had been raised to stretch the lifespan of every possession she owned- he’d always had a surplus of money and a hatred of messes. But if that was the biggest difference between them, Rey wouldn’t complain. “You want me to come on tour with you?” 

“Of course I do.” He wiped his face clear of shaving cream, but missed a spot by his ear. She grabbed the washcloth and cleaned the spot for him before rising on her toes to kiss his clean cheek. He caught her around the waist and looked down sharply, his brow furrowing. 

“What?” She asked searching his face. 

“Look.” His voice broke a little. She looked down curiously, but all she really could see were his hands. 

“What?” She asked again, a bit more exasperated. He sighed and dropped one of his hands before he used the other to pinch back the black fabric of the shirt she’d stolen from him. 

“Look in the mirror.” He instructed, and she did as he said. Her jaw went a little slack as the tiniest noise of surprise escaped her. “You’re showing.” 

“I’m…” she blinked back a sudden flow of tears. She knew she was bigger- of course she knew, none of her old pants fit, which was why they’d been at the mall, which was how Leia had caught them- but now, the pudginess of her belly had formed a nice little swell. Not giant, no. If you weren’t intimately acquainted with her body, you surely wouldn’t notice beyond thinking maybe she’d had a big lunch. But she knew. And he knew. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from her silhouette, which seemed so barely changed, and yet it was monumental to her. She let out a little laugh a her hand flew up to cup the new curve. “Wow, I’m really pregnant, Ben- I’m really pregnant!” 

“The morning sickness and positive pregnancy tests didn’t give it away?” He asked, his voice a little gruff with emotion. When she finally looked at him again, his eyes were shining, and his grin was quivering a little. She stood on her toes again, and this time captured his lips with hers. “You look so beautiful.” 

“We’ll see what you say in six months.” She teased. 

“The same thing.” He grinned. “Come on tour with me, Rey. Please.” 

“Ben...I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t want to- trust me, I really do want to come with you!” She insisted. “But I want to ask doctor Kalonia if she thinks it would be safe. And I’d have to get the time off from the garage- I know your dad isn’t likely to tell me no, but a month is a really long time to be gone, Ben. Plus, by the time you leave I’ll be paying the full rent on my apartment since Rose will officially be moved in with Finn- it’s just a lot, Ben.” 

“I know. I know, it’s a lot.” He nodded. “But Rey, you deserve this. You haven’t been on any kind of vacation ever, in your life. You haven’t even left the city since you got here four years ago, and before that you were stuck in a middle of nowhere that people stopped to get gas on road trips, Rey. I know, Ideally I’d take you somewhere tropical and warm, and I absolutely will do that, but right now, we’ve got what? Seven months until we’re parents? Six? Somewhere in there. And believe me, I’m thrilled about that- but we should be able to take some time for us first.” 

“I...I like the sound of that.” She smiled. 

“I know a work related trip isn’t the greatest opportunity, but honestly, it’s not that bad. Sav’s wife almost always comes on tour with him, and they have a great time. We always get first class accommodations, with private rooms, we travel first class, we have rest days built into the schedule where we go exploring. And we can do a fair bit of that even on concert days, since we dont ever have to be at stadiums or arenas until evening. Just...Think about it, okay?” 

“I will think about it.” She promised. 

“And as for the apartment, I know that you love it, it’s the first place you ever called home, and you value your independence. But do you think you’d consider moving in with me?” He asked, his voice suddenly nervous in a way it hadn’t been before. 

“Seriously?” Her heart was hammering so hard against her ribs she swore he could hear it. 

“Yes. I don’t want to rush you. I don’t. I just thought you spend so much of your time here already, and there’s plenty of room for the baby here. If you wanted to, you could even take one of the guest rooms and make it your bedroom so you could have your own space.” He suggested. “I thought maybe it could be good for us, to be a family under one roof.” She stared at him and chewed on her lip as she thought. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to though. I’m not trying to pressure you.” 

“If you think I’d move in here and not share your bed and make you put that beautiful kriffing mouth to good use every night, you’re insane.” She finally said. He blinked at her, and then laughed, a beautiful sound that could always melt her heart. “I think it might be a good idea for us to live together. But I’m not letting you pay for everything- don’t even try to argue that. I know that you own the place outright- which by the way, seems insane to me- so I can’t exactly chip in on rent or anything, not that I could afford a fraction of this place on my salary, but I can buy groceries. And pay my own phone bill. And pick up our tab at restaurants half of the time.” 

“Of course you can- I’m not trying to buy you, Rey. Just like I know you’re not trying to use me for my money. Do I want to buy you everything to make up for the fact that you never got what you deserved growing up? Yes. Do I know that would make you uncomfortable, so I refrain? Also yes.” He shrugged. 

“Well, the lease I signed with Rose is up in like, two months.” She smiled slightly. “I was planning on renewing it for myself, but if you want us to live together-”

“I do want us to live together, but only if that’s what you want too.” 

“I do.” She assured him. “I really do.” 

“So...You’re going to move in?” 

“Yes.” She nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her, easily scooping her up off of the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist automatically, and clung to his broad shoulders. “Ben!” He kissed her deeply, and she could feel the way that even the kiss didn’t take away the curve of his smile. 

“What time do you have to be to work again?” He asked between kisses he pressed to her neck. 

“Uh- um…” She tilted her head back and moaned softly. “Ten. But I have to get on the subway at-”

“Screw the subway. I’ll drive you.” he insisted, carrying her out of the master bathroom and directly to his bed. 

“Don’t you have to be at the studio this morning?” She asked breathlessly even as she shed her own shirt and laid back against his pillows without a stitch of clothing. 

“Please, the rest of the band doesn’t wake up until eleven unless we have to meet Snoke, which we don’t today, thank the maker.” He licked his lips as he knelt in front of her, nudging her legs open to make space for his massive shoulders between them. 

“And yet you’re such an early riser.” She teased. 

“I’m just a light sleeper- I wake up when you do.” He shrugged. He glanced at his watch, and smiled. 

“What?” 

“It’s only eight fifteen. I thought I’d have to rush.” He lowered himself to the mattress , and pressed his lips to the small swell of her stomach. 

“It’s a twenty minute drive.” Her breathing was shallow now, as his lips trailed from her stomach, up to her breasts, down the valley between them, over her stomach, to her hip bones, and then her thighs. 

“Mmhm.” He responded lazily. 

“And I don’t know what you have in mind, but I can almost guarantee I’ll need to shower before we go.” it was becoming harder to focus as his lips were trailing up from her knee. 

“So you’re telling me to get a kriffing move on then, hm?” He pulled his face away from her skin, and met her eyes. 

“I mean, that would be nice.” She breathed. He smiled crookedly at her, and without any warning his lips were on her, hot and soft and demanding against her core. “Oh Kriff! Ben!” Her fingers were in his hair immediately, and his giant hands were on her thighs, pushing them open even wider as he worked. Not that either of them would qualify this as work- not in a million lightyears. She came quickly, shaking and trembling, and he got up to take off the pajama pants slung low on his hips. He settled between her legs with that crooked smile still on his lips and she pretended to frown at him. “What are you looking so pleased for?” 

“I believe you mentioned something about living with me and me putting my mouth to good use.” He chuckled. “Just making sure you don’t have any reason to change your mind.” 

“Oh Ben…” She sighed, carding her fingers through his hair again as she gazed up at him, any play at being annoyed completely vanished from her face or her mind. “I’m not changing my mind. About us. About any of this.” 

“I’m not either.” They meet in the middle to seal their promise with a kiss, and then he was inside, moving slowly, almost gracefully as his hips rolled against hers. He swore when she fluttered around him, dropping his face to the crook of her neck, pressing open mouthed kisses everywhere he could reach. 

“Kriff- why haven’t we been doing this for four years?!” She gasped as he snapped his hips harder against hers. 

“We had- we had good reasons.” He managed before he kissed her again. He was right, she knew that somewhere in the corner of her mind. She’d been so young and broken, he’d had a lot of growing and healing to do himself- they’d grown something between them for four years that went so far beyond physical attraction. It was absolute trust, adoration, and love- yes, the strongest kind of love. Rose had once tried to get her to let her hang a tapestry with the quote “love is friendship set on fire” embroidered on it in the living room, and Rey had said that was a ridiculous statement, but now, she really felt that she understood it. The fire had been building between them all this time, until the flame suddenly sparked to life- it was beautiful. It was everything. And it had created more than just the strong emotional connection, more than the intense physical attraction. It had literally created life between them. Their own child- their own family. 

When She cried out for a second time, he did too, his shout a guttural cry of her name, and if she hadn’t just finished, she was certain the sound of it was enough to have her finishing again. Since she’d been pregnant, he was always very careful not to rest his weight on her, but this morning she held him tightly, not releasing him from the snare of her legs or her arms. He supported himself on his forearms and knees, and kissed her languidly. 

“I should get ready for work.” She sighed, finally releasing him. “I can’t be showing up late if I’m going to take a month and a half off of work.” He sat up quickly, and pulled her with him. 

“You mean it?” He asked. 

“Yeah. I do. I’ll go on tour with you. I’ll move in with you.” 

“You will?” He asked, his eyes still a little disbelieving. 

“If you think I want to spend my mornings until I give birth doing anything other than what we just did, then you don’t know me as well as I thought you did Solo.” She smirked. 

“You’re going to love it, Rey. I promise. We’ll see everything you want to see, and we’ll try all of the food-”

“Maker, I hadn’t even thought of the food!” She gasped in delight. “That should’ve been your first selling point right there, instant agreement.” He smacked his palm against his forehead dramatically. 

“Of course, I don’t know what I was thinking, trying to lure you there with promises of love and quality time.” 

“I mean, those are also good things. I value them very much.” She smiled softly. “But not as much as I love trying new food.” 

“You’re impossible.” He laughed as he rose from the bed and extended a hand to her. “Come on, I believe someone wanted to take a shower.” 

“If you get in the shower with me, there’s no way I’m not going to be late for work.” She groaned. 

“I won’t. I have two other bathrooms, Rey.” She took his hand and he helped her up. “What do you want for breakfast?” 

“Do you think we’ll have time to stop and grab something?” She asked hesitantly. 

“What do you want?” 

“Blueberry pancakes- I know you hate blueberries, but I swear, I’ve been thinking about blueberry pancakes for the last twenty eight hours!” 

“How about you take a banana, a granola bar, and your water bottle in the car, eat that on the way to work, I’ll drop you off, pick up some of Maz’s pancakes, because those are way kriffing better than kriffing drive through pancakes, and I’ll be there in time for your morning break.” He proposed. 

“Ben, you don’t have to go through all of the trouble. I mean, I’ve already told you I’m not going anywhere, you don’t have to keep doing things for me to get me to stay.” She insisted. 

“I know that I don’t have to do things for you.” He tugged on her hand to lead her to the bathroom and he started the water for her. It did always take a minute or five to warm up, which seemed to be the only downside to his living quarters. “But I want to do stuff for you. I like seeing you smile. I like knowing that I’m taking care of you a little bit, both of you. You’re doing the hard stuff, the morning sickness, the changing body, the fatigue. So yeah, I want to do some stuff for you, whether that’s buying you clothes because you can’t wear yours anymore, or bringing you pancakes because you’re craving them, or even just holding back your hair when you’re sick. Because I love you. And when you love someone, you want to make their life better if you can.” 

“But you make my life better just by being here!” She insisted, flinging her arms around him. “I do appreciate everything you do for me- You know I’m just not used to it. Even after four years of people caring about me, I’m not used to it.” 

“Well, I hope you get used to it. Because this is for the rest of our lives, Rey. I swear, I’m never going to stop trying to make you smile.” She grinned, looking up at him with shining eyes. “I hope you know that I really am here to stay. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.” 

“Well then, You’re going to be here for a while. Forever, actually.” 

“Good.” He pressed his lips to hers. “Because I would have a hell of a time trying to stay away from you. Maker knows I wouldn’t want to.”

“Good.”


	12. With A Little Help From My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " “Who goes there?” 
> 
> “Robbers!” Poe called. 
> 
> “I was going to go with the Mafia.” Rose whined playfully. 
> 
> “Pizza delivery?” Finn added. 
> 
> “I was going to say I was the high end escort she called for.” Kaydel said so seriously that even without being able to see her face, Rey broke into laughter. 
> 
> “Oh good, all of my favorite kinds of people.” She said as she swung open the door. Everyone immediately held up their various offerings. Snacks, pizzas, a stack of board games, root beer, and Ice cream. “Come in!” "
> 
> Everyone else finally finds out what's going on with Ben and Rey. We get a little bit of insight into what goes on behind closed doors at First Order Records.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm so glad you're all enjoying this story, and I'm glad I can be a bright spot for you in these trying times. There is going to be a bit more angst coming up in the following chapters, BUT, I will be keeping a lot of fluff throughout because that's what we all need (Or it's what I need, so, it's what I'm doing!) any ways, I'm hoping to get a few updates a week until it's done- I mean, with social distancing, I've got a lot more spare time! (Gotta look for the bright sides, right?) Any how, please enjoy!

**Rose 🌹  
SO ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO TELL POE AND FINN? CAUSE IM VERY BAD AT NOT TELLING FINN EVERYTHING.  
**

Rey chuckled as she read the text from Rose. 

**Don’t worry Rose, we told his parents last week, we’re going to tell Finn and Poe at game night tonight.**

**Rose 🌹  
FINALLY- I’ve had to exercise so much control not buying cute baby things any time I see them! It’s been 84 years….**

**You are so dramatic sometimes! We were just waiting until we hit twelve weeks.**

**Rose 🌹**

**...It’s been 84 years….  
**

She rolled her eyes as she tucked her phone back into the pocket of her coveralls and rolled herself back underneath the truck she was working on. 

“How’s it look down there kid?” Han called. 

“Not great. I think some of it’s near rusted out!” She called back at him. “Honestly, this guy might just want to get a new car. It’ll probably cost nearly that much to fix and replace everything.”

“I can talk to him. See what he thinks. Let’s leave it until he’s been consulted.” She rolled herself out again, and Han extended a hand to help her up. 

“Thanks!” 

“No sweat.” Han smiled warmly at her. “So. How are things?”

“How are things?” Rey laughed.

“Yeah, how are things with my son? He hasn’t scared you off yet?”

“I don’t think that’s very likely Han.” She rolled her eyes as she wiped her hands on a rag. “After all, he didn’t get scared off when I asked him to impregnate me, so I think I can handle whatever he throws at me.” 

“Alright alright- there are things I don’t need to hear!” Han hissed, throwing up his hands in surrender. “I’m glad that you love my son, I’m glad you’re carrying my grandchild, I never, never need anyone to imply how the two are related!” 

“Deal.” She nodded. There were some perks of working for your child’s grandfather. For instance, he never questioned or got impatient when she darted from the room suddenly to throw up in the employee bathroom. Another was the stash of lemon drops and peppermint tea which had found their way onto the coffee station in Han’s office- sure, Leia was probably behind that addition, but it was still nice. Not to mention the fact that all of the coffee had mysteriously vanished from the coffee station, replaced by envelopes of tea and an electric kettle- Han had replied to her insisting that it wasn’t necessary with a shrug and a gruff grumble about how it was better for business if she was looking at cars and not holed up in a bathroom puking because of some cheap off brand coffee smell. He’d also met the idea of her being gone a month and a half with an overjoyed grin and told her that she deserved it, and he was glad she was taking his advice and having Ben take her somewhere exciting. Still, the idea of slacking off or being a disappointing employee didn’t sit well with her at all. 

“You know, if you wanted to marry Ben and get a visa that way, you could quit. Take as much time off as you wanted.” Han suggested, and she blanched- had she spoken her reservations aloud? 

“I like working here.” She insisted. 

“And you’ll always have the option of working here whenever you want, you know that. In fact, you can have the place when I retire if you want. It’d be nice to keep the old place in the family.” Han shrugged. She threw her arms around him and embraced him tightly for a few moments until he awkwardly patted her head. “You okay kid?” 

“Yeah- I...It’s so nice, to be considered part of a family.” She explained, her voice tight. 

“You’ve been a part of this family since the night Ben brought you to our house four years ago. And I hope- Leia and I, we both hope that you know that regardless of what happens between you and our son, you will always be like a daughter to us.” 

“I don’t know how you expected to say that to me and not have me hug you again!” Rey sniffed, wishing for the millionth time that pregnancy wasn’t making her so prone to tears. 

“Bring it in kid.” Han sighed, opening his arms to her. “That’s enough of that smarmy stuff for this old man now. On to more important topics. Like what we’re going to order in for lunch.” 

“Anything without bacon. Or coconut.” She said at once. 

“Mexican okay?” 

“Oh, I could demolish a burrito bowl- but maybe without any cheese or corn. Now that I’m thinking about it, those don’t sound good either.” 

“I’ll open the delivery page on the company tablet, and you can get whatever you want. You too Chewie!” Han called over his shoulder. 

“Thank the maker, I’m so kriffing hungry!” Chewie laughed. 

“Honestly, I should just pay him in food.” Han rolled his eyes. 

“Honestly, I might still work for you for that.” Chewie shrugged. 

“Probably would make more money that way anyways. I’ve seen how you eat.” 

“That’s a good point. Maybe we should renegotiate my contract.” Chewie snorted. Han passed Rey the tablet, and she customized her order, adding extra chicken and a large lemonade before she brought it over to Chewie. He looked up at her once briefly as he started scanning through options. “How are you doing Sunshine?” 

“You know, you and Han really should just ask me at the same time. Save everyone a lot of trouble.” She smirked. He grumbled something under his breath, two spots of color appearing on his cheeks above his beard. “I’m doing really well. Still sick, but not so miserable anymore. I’ve already started putting back on the weight I lost in the first few weeks.”

“You were starting to look sort of sickly. Was gonna bring it up soon if you didn’t start looking better. Course, it all added up once you told us about your baby.” Chewie nodded. “I just worry about you Sunshine. You’re like the daughter I never had.” 

“I know, Chewie.” She smiled at him, again blinking back tears. “Thank you.” 

“And Ben, he’s like a son to me too. Seeing you kids together...it does an old man's heart good to see it.”

“Not so old, Chewie.” Rey insisted. He laughed and tugged on his graying brown and red beard.

“Old enough sunshine. Old enough.”   
….  
Game night at Ben’s house had become a once a month fixture in their lives for the last two years, unless Ben was on tour. Out of all of them, he had the biggest home, and most comfortable chairs and couches. And, as Poe and Kay would point out, he could afford the best booze, which he was gracious enough to share. 

“You’re fidgeting.” Ben observed as he set a bowl of Chex mix on the coffee table. “Why are you anxious?” 

“They’re going to freak out.” 

“Half of them already know.” 

“Not that we’re moving in together!”

“And they’ll be upset by that?” He sat next to her on the sofa and took her hands in his. 

“Of course not- but that combined with us having a baby, combined with the fact that we’ve definitely been keeping our relationship on the down low is a lot of stuff to take in all at once- I’m legitimately concerned Finn is going to have a heart attack!” Ben’s thumbs traced soothing circles on the backs of her hands, and it did help to steady her if only a little. “You know how big brothery he gets about me- I’m mildly afraid he’s going to want to fight you, and look at you! You’re a behemoth- a really sexy behemoth! You’d break him!”

“I’m not going to fight Finn, Rey!” Ben laughed, a noise of exasperation. “You’re being awfully pessimistic tonight. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ll feel better once everything’s been laid on the table.” She pried her hands free and wrapped her arms around his torso. He snaked his arms around her waist, and pulled her close to him. 

“Do you feel a little better now?” He asked against her hair. 

“Mmm, I’m starting to.” She loved the way he smelled- she always had. 

“Are you having second thoughts about moving in here?” His voice was soft, quiet, as if he were afraid for her to hear and answer. 

“No- that’s not it at all, Ben.” She pulled back enough to look into his eyes. “I was feeling a bit nervous about it when you asked, but I think...well- I know that it’s because I’m always afraid of being left alone again. Being abandoned. If I had my own place, I’d have something to fall back on if...if…”

“If we didn’t work.” He finished for her. 

“Right. But I realized that that was shit. Because you and I- Ben, you told me that this was it for you, and it is for me too. I’ve known that since I opened up the garage door the first night we met, and I saw you standing there. You looked like someone I could trust. You felt like...Ben, you felt like home.” She traced his features with her fingers as he watched her intently. “So I don’t need something to fall back on. Yes, I love the apartment I shared with Rose and all the memories, but I don’t need to keep the place to keep those. In the long run, I’m not going to be happy there, because my home is wherever you are.” He surged up to kiss her, as if he was going to consume her. She sort of hoped that he would! His kriffing mouth was unbelievable- so firm and yet gentle and warm on hers- tonight he tasted like the snack mix he must have sampled while he was setting it out, a little bit sweet, a little bit salty. The knock on the door broke them apart, and they groaned almost in unison. 

“What are the odds they’ll just go away if we don’t answer?” He asked, half serious. 

“Not good since Rose was bringing ice cream for boozy root beer floats. Or just a root beer float, for one of us.” Rey sighed. He pressed one more quick kiss to her lips before she climbed off of his lap. “I’ll get the door. You take care of...that situation.” He blushed as she gestured downwards. He rose from the couch and helped her up, and then vanished down the hall. She smiled to herself as she headed to the door, where a second, more aggressive knock had sounded. She stood on her toes to look through the peephole, and then grinned. “Who goes there?” 

“Robbers!” Poe called. 

“I was going to go with the Mafia.” Rose whined playfully. 

“Pizza delivery?” Finn added. 

“I was going to say I was the high end escort she called for.” Kaydel said so seriously that even without being able to see her face, Rey broke into laughter. 

“Oh good, all of my favorite kinds of people.” She said as she swung open the door. Everyone immediately held up their various offerings. Snacks, pizzas, a stack of board games, root beer, and Ice cream. “Come in!” 

“Where’s Ben?” Kay asked as she shuffled past Rey, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she went. 

“Just in the bathroom.” Rey shrugged. 

“If we’re playing cranium, I kriffing call Solo on my team.” Poe huffed as he followed after Kay. 

“Um, No way- Ben’s on my team, always.” Rey scoffed, and Poe gave a loud groan. 

“Hey peanut!” Finn gave her a one armed hug as he passed, since one of his arms balanced pizza and a bag full of soda. 

“Took you a long time to get to the door didn’t it?” Rose asked innocently, her eyes wide and playful. 

“Um. No. Just time to walk from the couch to the door.” Rey muttered. 

“Huh. Place must be bigger than I remembered.” Rose grinned mischievously as she kissed Rey’s cheek. She wrapped a free arm around her waist, and whispered in her ear. “There is bacon on the pizza- I couldn’t convince Finn not to get a meat lovers without tipping him off that something was up. So, steer clear.” 

“Thanks for the heads up.” Rey sighed. The pizza had smelled a bit off to her when Finn had gone past. She’d text Ben and ask him to open the windows to let the air in, since no one would believe it if always freezing Rey wanted them open. She avoided the kitchen and the offending smell, and set herself on the soft black arm chair she favored before she shot him the message. He emerged less than a minute later, and called greetings over his shoulder as he casually opened the window nearest to her. The cold air was delicious, and her slight nausea was better in an instant. She could only hope she really had reached the end of the worst of the morning sickness which was really all day and all kriffing night sickness. She’d only thrown up once today, after breakfast- that was a victory as far as she was concerned. 

“What are you all doing in my kitchen?” Ben called. He discreetly ran a hand over Rey’s forehead as he passed her. 

“Making boozy root beer floats, obviously!” Rose called back. “Don’t worry, we’re not using all of your nice vodka!” 

“Um, speak for yourself.” Kaydel laughed. 

“Is there such a thing as nice vodka?” Rey asked. 

“I mean, yes, in that there are expensive vodkas and then there’s the cheap stuff that you and Rose always mix into your drinks on girls nights.” Ben observed. “But honestly, Once it’s mixed with something, I can’t actually taste that much of a difference.” 

“That’s ridiculous!” Rose scoffed.

“It’s not.” Ben whispered dramatically to Rey. She smirked up at him as he headed into the kitchen. Rey stayed put in her arm chair, letting the breeze wash over her, and wash away the offending smell of bacon that lingered. If she focused too hard on it, she’d surely be sick- so she tried to think of anything else- but that was hard when the only other thing she could think of was how on earth they were going to tell Finn and Poe that they were together and having a baby- because Poe and Finn both tended to be dramatic as hell. 

“Alright, if we’re playing cranium, and I can’t have Solo as my partner, I at least insist on being red.” Poe pouted as he came to set up the board on Ben’s coffee table. 

“Thanks babe, you make me feel so excited to be your partner, in this game and in real life.” Kaydel deadpanned as she came to perch on the armrest of Rey’s chair. She leaned down and cupped her hands to Rey’s ear. “Dude. Your boobs. Fantastic. A work of art.” Rey let out a loud snort. 

“Are you girls talking about me behind my back?” Poe asked. 

“Technically, we’re next to you.” Kaydel shrugged. “And if I was gossiping about you I’d just say it out loud and you know it.” 

“Ah, yes. I always feel so warm inside when you start preposterous rumors about me.” Poe beamed at his fiancée. “It makes me feel so young.”

“Unfortunate, since I’m only into you because you’re so old and decrepit. I’m only with you for your grays, silver fox.” 

“You two are so weird!” Rose laughed as she came into the living room, trailed by Finn with a tray of floats and Ben, with a large tray of oven baked sweet potato fries with mustard (Rey’s latest craving), which he sat on the end of the table nearest to Rey. 

“Since when do you eat sweet potato fries peanut? I thought you were a fry purist.” Finn observed as she popped one in her mouth before dipping a second. 

“They’re sweet, they’re salty, add mustard and they’re a little sour- really it’s the ultimate snack combination in one delicious orange bundle!” Rey insisted. “Besides, this brand is less greasy than the other ones.”

“Since when does Rey care about less greasy?” Poe asked with a laugh. Kaydel slid off of the side of the chair to sit on the floor beside him. 

“Drinks?” She suggested, reaching for the one in the corner and sharing a Look with Rose before passing it on to Rey. Everyone grabbed theirs in turn, and when Rey finished another fry, she sipped the drink through the green polka dot paper straw. 

Things seemed to go slow motion for a second. 

Finn stopped drinking and looked at Rose curiously, and had just barely started to ask why it tasted so weak when a large mouthful of the float entered Rey’s mouth. The sweetness registered first, followed quickly by a bitterness she recognized as alcohol. Her eyes went wide as she sputtered, the drink flying everywhere, but mostly on her own clothes. Ben was at her side quickly, patting her back as the world returned to normal speed for her. 

“Oh my gosh, Rey Rey, are you alright?” Rose got up from her place on the floor and took the drink out of her hands. 

“Fine- I’m fine- just surprised-“ Rey managed between gulps of air. 

“Okay, It’s not that strong!” Poe scoffed. 

“Yeah, mine tastes like nothing. Did you even put anything in here?” Finn asked. 

“I was standing next to her, she spiked them pretty well.” Poe insisted. “At least at the start.” 

“You okay?” Ben murmured. 

“Water?” She asked. 

“I’ll get it!” Rose was up again, darting across the apartment. Finn and Poe were still arguing about if the drinks were strong enough, but Rey just looked into Ben’s dark brown eyes and forced herself to match his breathing.

_It’s okay. You didn’t get any down. The baby won’t be affected by this. They’re okay, and you’re okay Jakkson. Just breathe.  
_

“Here you go!” Rose pressed a glass into her hands, and whispered a hasty apology as Rey sipped from the water. She offered her worried friend a small smile and then looked down at herself. 

“Kriff, I’m a mess. I should go change.” She Rose from the chair and headed towards Ben’s room without a second thought. She changed as quickly as she could, pulling on leggings and a large green crew neck sweatshirt as she listened to what was happening in the living room.

“Hold on- Finn, you’re right, yours totally isn’t spiked.” Poe said. 

“Yeah, but why would Mine be the only one that’s not?” 

“Rose?”

“So I missed one while I was spiking- big deal, come on, I can pour some in now.” 

“I still don’t see how you could miss just one. There were only six!” Poe laughed. “Were you pregaming Tico?”

“Just shut up and drink your float Dameron!” Rey remerged and resumed her seat quickly, grabbing another fry and tucking her feet up underneath her. She’d left her phone on the arm of the chair, and found a new notification waiting for her.

**Ben Solo 💙❤️**  
I would legitimately wager my entire life savings that you forget to put on socks again when you change your clothes.  


She huffed a little laugh, and looked over at Ben with a small smile as she subtly wiggled her bare toes. He rolled his eyes fondly, his lips quirking into a smile. Their friends had set up the game now, and Ben sat down at the foot of her chair so they were close enough to be a team. She casually brushed his shoulder as she grabbed another fry, and she could swear it was still electric every time they touched. 

“Hold on. Rey- you just changed.”

“Uh- Yeah, Poe, that’s what people do when their clothes fall victim to a sticky root beer mess.” Rey explained. 

“No, that’s not- you just changed- into a second set of your own clothes. And you came out of Ben’s room.” Poe observed, his eyes growing wide and mischievous. “Oh my maker- Ben, Rey, I have to ask, as a friend who is deeply concerned about the dismal state of both of your love lives: have you two been boning?”

“Poe!”

“What?!”

“I didn’t need that imagery-“

“Hold on, think about it!” Poe insisted. “She let us in to the apartment like she owned the place, and do not try to tell me she wasn’t all red faced like a teen who just got caught doing something they shouldn’t- and then she chokes a little bit, and Ben is over there looking as concerned as if she were dying, and then she goes into Solo’s bedroom, and comes out dressed in clothes that are obviously her own, and not borrowed from Ben. The fact of the matter is, all evidence points to boning!” 

“Poe, that’s ridiculous.” Finn scoffs. 

“Why is it ridiculous?” Rey snapped defensively. 

“I mean, you two aren’t together- you’ve never mentioned anything about it. And you guys aren’t any different. You’re the same as always.” Finn tried to explain under the heat of Rey’s gaze. 

“Well it’s not ridiculous and we are together and we have been for months!” Rey huffed, and to prove her point, she grabbed Ben by the shirt and pulled him up to kiss her. He responded a bit hesitantly, and then pulled back, his eyes roving her face, checking her emotions. 

“Dayummmm!” Kaydel laughed, and she and Rose broke into an almost simultaneous round of applause. 

“About. Damn. Time!” Rose squealed. 

“Oh man, this is why you were so weird when I offered to set you up with Jessika last week!” Poe gasped. 

“Jessika? As in from your office Jessika, Poe? Sexy, voluptuous, intelligent,witty Jessika?” Rey asked, looking at Ben. “You didn’t mention that to me.”

“It honestly just slipped my mind. Because obviously I wasn’t interested.” Ben insisted as he put one of his giant hands on her thigh. She nodded as she put her hand on top of his. 

“And I tried so hard to convince him, since it’d been so long since he’d been with anyone. Or so I thought.” Poe grinned. 

“You two are together. And you didn’t tell us?” Finn asked, his voice hurt. 

“We we’re keeping it on the down low. Just in case.” Rey insisted. “We didn’t want to say anything if things weren’t going to work romantically. And at first honestly, I don’t think either of us knew what the Kriff we were doing.”

“That’s never what a man wants to hear from a person he’s boning.” Poe laughed. 

“No- that’s not what I meant and you know it! Ben definitely knows what he’s doing in the-“

“For the love of the maker please don’t finish that sentence!” Finn put his hands over his ears. Rey rolled her eyes as she grabbed her water and took a large swig. 

“Oh please, I’m Rose’s roommate; I was in the room next door when you two started dating. I heard things no best friend wants to hear!” Finn’s face turned red and he looked down, and then back up.

“Hold on a damn second.” 

“What Finn?” Rose asked. 

“Rey said she choked on her drink because she was surprised. Surprised about what?” He asked, his eyes flickering between her and Ben, and his own drink which had been left unspiked. “Why was there one non alcoholic float in the mix, Rose?”

“Oh damn! This just got so much more interesting!” Poe cried. 

“Did you knock her up,Solo?!” Finn asked, his voice rising an octave. “Rey- are you pregnant?!”

“Before anyone says anything else or pisses anyone off, just let me talk, and get through my story, okay?” Rey asked. The room was silent, and Ben gently squeezed her thigh. She started with Kaydels woman power gyno visit, and went through Ben agreeing to be the father of the baby. “And month two, it took. So… here we are.” 

“What the Kriff?” Poe burst out. “So I’m confused, is this like a sperm donor insemination deal? Because I thought you two were definitely-“

“Boning? Yeah.” Rey rolled her eyes. “We uh- we decided to do things the old fashioned way.” 

“Of course you would, since you're a ninety year old in a young body!” Poe laughed. “Though I don’t know what’s so old fashioned about two young singles agreeing to make a baby together before they’ve even kissed.” 

“We just fit together.” Ben shrugged. “As friends. As partners. I think we were always supposed to take the step into a real relationship. The baby is just what gave us the final nudge.” 

“That’s so romantic I could puke!” Kaydel laughed with a bemused smile. 

“I, for one, am thrilled about this whole thing!” Rose announced. 

“Hold on a second- you totally knew- you made the drinks!” Finn pointed at Rose. “And don’t tell me Kaydel didn’t know if Rose knew because that’s not how your friendship has ever worked!” 

“Okay, so maybe the girls already knew.” Rey shrugged. 

“To be fair, they knew before I did.” Ben added. 

“And you’ve waited how long to tell us?” Finn asked. 

“Well, I’m twelve weeks pregnant as of today.” Rey smiled as she ran a hand over the curve of her stomach. 

“Holy shit- is that a baby bump?” Rose asked excitedly. “I’ve been waiting weeks to actually be able to ask, can I touch it?” 

“Um- yes? You won’t be able to feel anything yet. I haven’t even felt anything.” Rey laughed as Rose scrambled over to touch her belly. 

“Aw, it’s so cute and small!” Rose laughed. “There’s a tiny person in there!” 

“I know!” Rey beamed. 

“Alright, Don’t leave me out here!” Kaydel called as she joined Rose and put a hand on the curve of Rey’s belly. “Okay- seriously, last time I saw you I swear this was flat!” 

“It just kind of popped in the last week or so. Ben noticed it I guess a few mornings ago?” Rey explained. “Before I just looked like I did after a good lunch at Maz’s place.” 

“Well, kriff, Ben, congrats man!” Poe rose to his feet, and pulled Ben into a hug. “This is great news!”

“Thanks Poe.” Ben patted his friend’s back before he stepped back to put a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Actually, we have one more piece of news.” 

“What? Are you engaged too?” Finn asked, his eyes wide. 

“No- no, not engaged. NOt yet anyways.” Rey said with a dismissive wave of her hand. 

“Not yet.” Ben agreed. “But actually, Rey’s going to be moving in with me.” 

“You’re leaving the apartment?” Rose gasped, grabbing Rey’s hands. 

“Yeah, Rose. When the lease is up, I’m going to move in here.” 

“Wow. I- wow.” Rose blinked. “I’m sorry- I’m very happy for you, but I just- I can’t imagine one of us not being there. I mean, Paige moved into that place when she came to the city for school- I moved in the day I turned eighteen. You’ve been there with me four years- I guess, I just thought it’d still be around for a while.” 

“Oh, Rose- It’s...It’s just an apartment babe.” Kaydel said softly. “The memories are what’s important. Paige wouldn’t want you to hold onto the place just because she lived there. She’d want you to be happy with Finn, just like you want Rey to be happy with Ben.” 

“Yeah- I know that. Of course I do.” Rose sniffed. “And of course you should move in here, Rey! It’s the nicest home I’ve ever seen in the city limits- I mean, he’s got a music studio, a dining room, two guest bedrooms and three full baths? This place actually has the space you need for a growing family.” 

“It does. We’re going to make the room across from Ben’s a nursery.” Rey smiled. 

“Across from our room.” Ben corrected, leaning down to kiss Rey’s forehead. 

“Right. Our room.” She grinned up at him, and kissed him on the lips. 

“Isn’t this all just kind of fast?” Finn asked, still rooted to his spot on the floor. “I mean, you’ve been dating for all of twelve weeks an you’re having a baby together and moving in together? Doesn’t that seem like a bit much?”

“No, Finn, it doesn’t.” Rey insisted. “It’s not like Ben and I met twelve weeks ago and he knocked me up in a one night stand! I love Ben, as a friend and human being, and I did before I fell in love with him. I know everything there is to know about him. I know everything that could be considered a “Deal breaker” and I knew them going in to all of this. So, yeah, maybe we’ve skipped a few steps, or done some things “out of order”, but it’s not too fast!”

“Do you have a problem with this, Finn?” Ben asked evenly. “Do you have a problem with me?” 

“No- I don’t.” Finn said, holding up his hands. “For four years, you’ve been constant in Rey’s life. In all of our lives- I trust you’re not going anywhere. But.” 

“But?” Rey asked, her brow furrowing. 

“How long until your contract with First Order Records expires?” Finn asked, crossing his arms. 

“We’re in the last year. Our last album drops in three weeks, then we have the tour.” Ben sighed. 

“And then what? You ride out the contract?” 

“Public appearances, I assume. A U.S tour, probably. Interviews, Television appearances. If the hype lasts, a world tour is on Snoke’s radar.” Ben explained with a sigh. 

“And what’s Rey supposed to do while you’re off doing all of this? Stay at home alone with the baby?” 

“First of all, it’s not like he’d be bailing on me for no reason, Finn, it’s his job.” Rey scoffed. “And it’s not like I’d have to be all alone. We have family. I have you guys. Leia’s already insisting that she’ll come to help as often as I’ll let her. And also, if Ben had said no, I had every intention of doing this all by myself anyways. I’m a strong person, I chose to have this baby, I was fully prepared to raise them alone, so don’t guilt trip my boyfriend because he’s going to have to be gone for work from time to time!”

“I know you’re a strong person Rey! But how much experience do you have with babies? I had to help take care of a bunch of them while I was in foster care- they’re kriffing hard to manage, Rey!”

“Why are you lecturing me like I’m a pregnant teenager, Finn?!” Rey huffed, angry tears filling her eyes. “Why can’t you just be happy for us?”

“Oh- hey, hey- Rey- I am happy for you!” He finally rose from his place on the floor and shooed Kay and Rose to kneel in front of her. “If this is something you really want, you know I’m going to be behind you a thousand percent, peanut. I just worry-“

“But I don’t need you to worry, Finn.” She said softly. “Can’t you see how happy I am right now? How happy Ben makes me?” 

“Of course I can! Peanut, look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that this wasn’t a good thing for you.” He squeezed her hands. “And Ben, man, I’m sorry- I honestly think you’re the best person Rey could’ve chosen for herself- I just worry. I’ll always just worry. I know I’ve told you a little bit about when I worked for First Order, but the shit I saw and overheard was messed up. Really, really messed up. You’ve had a hard enough life, I don’t want you anywhere near any of that.” 

“She isn’t involved in anything at First Order.” Ben snapped. “Snoke has never seen her as far as I know. And I intend to keep it that way.” 

“Do you really think Snoke doesn’t keep careful tabs on all of his musicians, Ben?” Finn scoffed. “Granted it’s been years since I set foot in that place, but I had to clean the surveillance room more than once. Most of th time they’d turn off the screens before they sent sanitation in. But not always. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s bugged your place some how.” 

“Wait- seriously? That’s kriffed up!” Poe cried. 

“I mean, I guess The Knights of Ren hadn’t really blown up while I was working there, but he definitely had feed of peoples houses, dressing rooms, trailers, you name it.” 

“Ben?” Rey asked, glancing up at him anxiously. 

“This...this isn’t the first time I’ve heard the rumor.” Ben sighed. “Snoke isn’t an easy man to work for, or to reason with. He’s also quite paranoid. He likes everything to go his way- he also likes to have evidence to use against people, if it comes down to it.” 

“Evidence? Why?” Rose asked. 

“Like I said, Snoke isn’t an easy man to work for. People try to find ways out of their contracts early all the time. Occasionally, someone succeeds. And then he needs something on them, something to keep them on a string. You know, affairs, drugs, secret alcoholism. Anything that could ruin someone’s life or career.” 

“So, blackmail?” Poe huffed. 

“Yeah. Blackmail. Phas wanted out a few years back- she was in a bad place mentally, wanted space to get her shit together. We were all behind her, even Savage. But Snoke had video of her from during the time when she was coping with an abusive relationship with that guy from Empire records. She got mixed up with some hard drugs- especially Cocaine. Needless to say, she didn’t quit.” Ben sighed, his face crumpled in anger. “Thank Maker for Hux though. He got her into this terrific therapist, got her life turned around.” 

“So what if, when your contract is up, he decides he’s not done with the Knights of Ren? Huh? Who’s to say he doesn’t pull some stunt like that again?” Finn asked. 

“There’s no guarantees that he won’t. But we’ve all decided that we don’t care.” Ben shrugged. “We’ve been locked into an insane iron clad contract for ten years. We’re not going to get stuck in another one to protect our reputations. The fact is, there are very few people whose opinions actually matter to me. And they already know anything that Snoke could possibly have on me.” Rey reached back and put a hand on his knee. “And if he wanted to release video of us, he’d have to announce identities, which would kill the mystery and greatly diminish the popularity of the group.” 

“You don’t think it would ruin your mom’s career if video of her son doing something sketchy were released?” Poe asked. 

“People already know Leia Organa’s son is a screw up. It’s why I haven’t been seen with either of my parents in public for a decade.” He shrugged. 

“You are not a screw up.” Rey insisted, reaching up to pull his larger frame into her arms. “You made mistakes when you were younger. Everyone does.” 

“Not everyone has an asshole with video evidence or arrest history or incriminating photographs under his belt.” Finn grumbled and Rey shot him a sharp look. 

“Not helpful, Finn!” Rey hissed. “This was supposed to be a fun game night- we were going to tell you guys about the baby after you guys were a little tipsy and in a better mood, and then Ben and I were going to destroy all of you at cranium again.” 

“Um, rude, I’ll have you know I’ve been preparing all month for this rematch.” Poe smirked as he went about setting up the board. “Honestly, both of you, congratulations. This is great news! I’m going to be an uncle!” 

“Since when are you either of our brother?” Rey laughed. 

“What? I’m the closest thing Ben has to a brother- and don’t try to convince me Rose and Kay aren’t going to go by Auntie. If they get familial pet names, so do I, it’s only fair.” He shrugged. 

“Fair enough.” Ben smiled as he took his place back on the floor by the foot of her chair. She ran her fingers through his hair, and rubbed his neck gently, hoping she was conveying comfort. She leaned down to press her lips to his temple. 

“Hey, I love you, you know?” She whispered, and he turned his face to catch her lips briefly. 

“Yeah, sweetheart. I know.”


	13. Somebody's Watching Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“I can drive you back to your apartment tonight.” 
> 
> “You’re staying there with me.” She insisted. 
> 
> “Rey, I have to deal with whatever kriffed up shit Snoke’s got going on at my place.” He sighed. 
> 
> “You’ve got to be with me.” She countered. “Ben, I love you. I can’t stand the idea of that monster watching you or listening to you. We’ll call your parents and see what they think, but until then, you’re coming to my place with me. Please?”
> 
> “You know I can’t say no to you when you look at me like that.” He groaned. 
> 
> “Like what?” She asked, brow furrowing. 
> 
> “With your eyes all big and sad.” 
> 
> “Oh- I- I’m sorry? I’m not trying to make my eyes big and sad, this is just my face.”"
> 
> A discovery in Ben's house sends them to Rey's for the night, and brings up some issues from Ben's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I've got another chapter for you- a spoonful of angst with a heaping helping of fluff to tide you over! See you again soon!

She arrived home from work before Ben the next day, and set about doing a thorough sweep of the penthouse. No cushion was left unturned, no table or chair leg escaped a thorough examination with her phone’s flashlight. The bedroom was clear, and so were the bathrooms, and the kitchen. It wasn’t until she reached his studio that she noticed it, on the edge of a piece of sound equipment, so small she might not have noticed it at all if she hadn’t been shining her flashlight and noticed the odd shadow on the wall. She held her breath as she observed what appeared to be a small microphone, and she backed away with shaking hands. Quickly, she texted Ben and told him to meet her at Takodana for dinner, threw her coat back on, and rushed out of the house. 

Takodana was closer to Ben’s place than it was to hers- one of the many perks of moving in with Ben- in fact, it was well within walking distance, and tonight she barely noticed the pavement flying under her feet. All she could think about was every single moment she had ever shared with Ben in his music studio for years- from innocent music lessons to a very enthusiastic love making session on the floor just last week. And if there was one bug in the house, were there others she’d missed? Too well hidden for her to notice? She pushed open the door at Takodana, barely registering the chimes that greeted her as she stomped over to their usual table in a haze. 

“You want to talk about what’s bothering you Sunshine?” Maz asked as she slapped a menu down on the table to break Rey from her trance. “Is the little one okay?” 

“They’re fine. They’re good- oh- I meant to bring an ultrasound picture to show you next time I came here but I…” She trailed off, her brow furrowing. 

“If it’s not the little one is it the big one?” Maz asked with a smirk. 

“No, no- Ben is terrific.” Rey smiled. “I just- it’s...Wow, it’s warm in here, can I get a lemonade?” She shed her coat, and fanned herself with the menu. 

“Of course sunshine. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about what ever is bothering you, but just know old Maz is here to listen if you need her.” Maz patted her hand as she headed back towards the kitchen. She continued to absently fan herself for a minute before her eyes flickered to the menu. She missed the days of just picking a turkey club, a delicious turkey club, but the thought of bacon still turned her stomach- and besides, she had been having fun exploring the wide variety of Takodana’s menu. So far she’d discovered that Maz’s chicken adobo was a masterpiece, the chicken fried steak, okay if she was feeling up to something fried, extra large greek salad minus the feta? Pretty damn good. But chicken and dumplings seemed like the way to go tonight- with an extra side of mashed potatoes because Doctor Kalonia said she should indulge a little if her stomach could handle it, since she’d shed a few too many pounds in the first few weeks of pregnancy. And if she was going to indulge, the maker knew it would be with potatoes. 

“Hey sweetheart.” she looked up from the menu suddenly as Ben’s dark hair entered her line of sight and his lips pressed against her cheek. 

“Hi.” She squeaked, turning to kiss him properly before he sat down opposite of her in the booth. 

“Did you decide what you want? I’m starving.” He muttered, glancing at his own menu briefly before he looked up at her. “Rey- what’s wrong?” 

“What?” She asked, biting her lip as Maz arrived with a lemonade in one hand and a large coke in the other. 

“I took the liberty of guessing your drink order, kiddo.” Maz said as she set the soda in front of Ben. 

“Thanks Maz.” He smiled weakly at her, but his eyes never left Rey’s face. 

“What can I get you two today? I assume you want the cheeseburger with fries and a side salad?” Maz asked. Ben nodded and reached across the table to grab Rey’s hand, which she gave to him without hesitation. Just the touch of his skin had her feeling instantly calmer- far from calm, maybe, but still calmer. “And what have you decided to try tonight, sunshine?” 

“Chicken and dumplings, side of mashed potatoes, broccoli instead of corn.” Rey said softly as she slid her menu back to Maz. 

“Coming right up.” Maz took both of the menus and glanced between the two of them with a slight frown. 

“Rey?” Ben prompted, tracing slow circles on her knuckles with his thumb. 

“Remember how Finn was talking about Snoke’s surveillance room at First Order? And you said that it wouldn’t surprise you?” 

“Of course I remember, Rey, that was last night.” Ben said evenly, continuing his pattern of soothing circles across the back of her hand. 

“Well I was anxious about it- so when I got home i was looking for anything odd and...And I...I found…” She felt her throat get tight as frustrated tears welled in her eyes. 

“What, Rey?” 

“In your studio, on one of your amps- it was just a little thing, but I know it’s not a part of the amp, Ben. I know it’s not.” She insisted. “And if there’s one in there, who’s to say there aren’t others around, Ben? How do we know he isn’t listening to us or watching us?” He stood up and slid around the table to sit beside her, tucking her against his chest, and pressing his lips to her forehead. “Ben, I can’t go back in there.” 

“Of course not.” He murmured into her hair. 

“You’re not mad?” 

“I’m furious. But not at you.” He promised. “Let me talk to my parents. They have all sorts of connections- between the two of them I’m sure they know someone capable of locating and deactivating bugs.”

“You think so?” 

“I’m positive.” He squeezed her shoulders gently. “I can drive you back to your apartment tonight.” 

“You’re staying there with me.” She insisted. 

“Rey, I have to deal with whatever kriffed up shit Snoke’s got going on at my place.” He sighed. 

“You’ve got to be with me.” She countered. “Ben, I love you. I can’t stand the idea of that monster watching you or listening to you. We’ll call your parents and see what they think, but until then, you’re coming to my place with me. Please?”

“You know I can’t say no to you when you look at me like that.” He groaned. 

“Like what?” She asked, brow furrowing. 

“With your eyes all big and sad.” 

“Oh- I- I’m sorry? I’m not trying to make my eyes big and sad, this is just my face.” She laughed, and a slow smile spread across his lips. “You’ll stay with me tonight?” 

“I think I promised you all of my nights, if you wanted them.” 

“You know I do.” She cupped his cheek, and he twisted his face to kiss her palm. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know what exactly we could do at this point. Yes, if he’s bugging our apartment it’s illegal, but supposedly he’s been doing this sort of thing for years and no ones ever caught him- or if they have, he’s never been taken to court over it. He’s a sneaky, slimy bastard, Rey.” 

“I don’t want you working for him anymore.” 

“It’s only nine and half more months. Then the contract is over.” 

“But Ben-“

“Rey. Please.” He huffed. “You know all the shit I did when I was younger. Stuff I should have gone to jail for, would have gone, if my mother hadn’t called in favors I didn’t even thank her for for far too long. Snoke definitely has evidence of all of that- evidence my mom fought really hard to keep buried. Yeah, partially for her own reputation, but I can’t blame her for that.”

“But Ben, you know she doesn’t want you under Snokes thumb- she’d understand-“

“My mother is on a short list of candidates to run for the presidency, Rey.” Ben admitted suddenly. She pulled away from him a little to look at him with wide eyes. “She’s been approached for the last two elections, but this time, she has the momentum, the popularity, and the platform to actually win if she put her mind to it.” 

“I didnt know- your mother didn’t say- neither did Han-“

“I didn’t know until today. She called me while I was at lunch with Phas and Hux. I stepped out and she asked what I thought.” 

“And you said?”

“Of course I told her that she should go for the nomination if that’s what she wants. That I’d be behind her a hundred percent this time, on my best behavior.” Ben smirked. “Which means-“

“You have to toe the line because a scandal of any nature could ruin your mothers chances because she’s a woman and it’s already going to be harder for her than for any man?” Rey guessed. 

“Yeah. Exactly that.” He sighed, leaning his head back against the cracked vinyl booth. 

“Have you ever asked your parents for help? Getting away from Snoke, that is?”

“No. I...the contract is so iron clad, and I kept telling myself I was an adult when I signed it, I could grit my teeth and get through the next ten years, then nine, then eight and so on. With my identity secret, I finally felt like I could make my own way- people wouldn’t think I had it easy because I was Shmi Skywalker the Swedish sopranos great grandson, or Vader’s grandson or even Luke’s nephew- you know what they said when there was a rumor going around that he was going to sign me. A talentless hack with good blood.”

“But you are talented, Ben! You’re the best guitarist I know- and pianist for that matter.” She huffed. 

“Yeah. But at twenty one, I just wanted to prove I could be something without anyone’s help.” He sighed. “And I guess I just feel like I got myself into this mess, and technically Hux and Phasma too, since they followed me to First Order, so I have to get myself out of the mess, you know? But now, I’ve got so much at stake. So much more than my reputation.” 

“I know- your mom-“

“I’m not talking about my mother, Rey. I’m talking about you. About our kid.” His hand cradled her stomach, and she clasped a hand over his. “I don’t plan on lying to our kid, about what I was like back then. I want them to know about the mistakes I made, so they can learn from them. But I don’t want them thought of badly because their father was…”

“Ben. Love, hey, it’s okay. It was an accident. Everything that happened, it was an accident.” She insisted, squeezing his hand tighter. 

“Yeah. But I should’ve been better, Rey. It’s only by some kriffing miracle no one died- that I’m even alive.” She reaches up to his face to trail her finger across the scar on his cheek. “Don’t.” 

“Ben. You’re not the first or last person to drive under the influence- I...I’m not saying that it’s okay, but you know what a mistake it was.” She insisted more fervently. 

“I kriffing destroyed my Uncle’s studio, Rey! Lit up a joint and caught it on fire- drank so much that I couldn’t remember my own name and still drove a car. The other driver is still in a wheel chair, Rey. I should be in prison. I should be dead.”

“You were twenty years old.” She soothed. “We’re getting our orders to go, and we’re going home.” 

“Rey, I-“

“We can talk about all of this at home.” She whispered, pressing her lips to his temple. “But just know that I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you, no matter what happens in the future.”

“I have never deserved you.” He smiled weakly at her. “But Maker I’m so lucky I have you.” 

“You always seem to forget that I was no one until you helped me.” 

“That’s not true. Maybe you were stuck in the middle of nowhere, but you were never no one. You could never be no one.” He kissed her firmly on the mouth, and she felt her body melt against his, her hands cradling his face. “You mean everything to me.” 

“Maz?” Rey called as she saw the woman pass the table. 

“Yes?”

“Can we get everything to go, please?”

“No problem for my two best customers.” Maz smiled. “It’ll just be a few more minutes then. Drinks too?”

“Yes, please. Thank you very much.” Rey fished her card out of her wallet and handed it to Maz, ignoring Ben’s small noise of protest. “Hey- part of the deal was I could pay for dinner half of the time.” 

“I know.” He grumbled, and she kissed the tip of his nose. 

“Maybe I like taking care of you too, Ben.” She felt her heart beat speed up as he smiled at her. “I’ve got to text Rose so she knows we’ll be there tonight. I don’t want to catch her and Finn in any compromising situations if they’re there.” 

“Please. I can only just now look Hux and Phasma in the eyes again, I don’t need a repeat of the whole experience.” He groaned, and she giggled as she pulled out her phone. 

Half an hour later found them heading into her empty apartment laden with food from Maz and a pint of pistachio ice cream she’d decided she needed as they passed the store on the drive home. Ben was on the phone with his parents almost as soon as they’d gotten in, and she set about putting the ice cream in the freezer and getting plates and testing to see that the food was still warm. Ben paced the length of the kitchen, murmuring into his phone at a high pace and then pausing as he listened. She carried their plates over to the coffee table and went back for their drinks, gesturing for Ben to follow. 

“How soon can they be there?” He asked, following after her and sinking onto the couch. “I could meet them- but- mom… are you sure? Yes. Fine. That’s...it’s fine. Yes, I’m with Rey. We’re about to eat dinner...okay. Call me as soon as you’ve heard anything. You too. Bye, mom.” He set his phone down and pinched the bridge of his nose. She draped herself over his shoulders, and ran her hands gently over his chest. 

“What did they say?”

“They know a guy who can sweep the penthouse, but they asked me not to go back until it was clear. It made them antsy.” He sighed. “Well, technically they asked that neither of us go back until it’s clear. Just for their peace of mind. They’re going to meet the guy with their spare key.” 

“Okay. That’s okay. We can stay here. I have some of your clothes that you left here, or that I...borrowed.” She blushed. 

“Sweaters you stole?” He corrected with a smile. 

“Maybe.” He kissed her cheek and reached to pull the coffee table closer again. She picked up her fork and let out a soft moan as she took a bite of her chicken. “So good!”

“If you keep going like that you’re going to get me all worked up.” He chuckled hoarsely, and she felt her blush spread down her neck. 

“Maybe that’s what I want.” 

“You definitely need to eat before we get up to anything else. It’s already late for dinner, and you’ve got to be starving.” He said gently as he started on his own dinner. They ate in silence for a few moments, and she stole a few glances at him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, reaching her free hand to rest on his shoulder. 

“Yes and no.” He mumbled. “I’ve always known Snoke wasn’t a good man. Or, I’ve known for a long time. But I think, in the back of my mind, I always hoped I was wrong. And then, it’s not like I’m blameless. He wouldn’t have any dirt on me if I hadn’t done so much idiotic, wreckless stuff.”

“In the past.” She insisted. “People deserve a chance to start over, Ben. And you have. You are a good man. The best. And it took time for you to figure things out, to become this version of yourself, but you’re here, now. And I know you’re going to be a terrific father, and husband one day. I trust you with my life, even knowing everything you’ve done, and I’ll trust you with my life even if he goes public with it. You believe me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I trust you with my life too.” He squeezed her hand. “I just feel scared. Like I’ve been in limbo for so long now, safe in a way, because I was playing Snokes game. But now the end is in sight, and Finn is right. Snoke isn’t going to want to let go of the Knights of Ren, not when we’re at our peak of popularity. Even with the contracts ending, with no legal hold on us, I don’t know how we’re going to get out without tearing down our lives or hurting other people.” 

“Is there anything I don’t know?” 

“What?”

“Is there anything he could have on you that I don’t know about already?”

“No- I told you my whole story. I didn’t censor.” He insisted, turning to face her. “I mean, I guess we’ve never explicitly discussed my sexual history, and I have had a lot of women over the last ten years I’ve been under contract-“

“Kriff, I don’t think I want to hear about that- I don’t think I actually can hear it without feeling sick!” She held up her hands to stop him. “Not because I think you’ve done anything wrong, just because I don’t like to think of you with someone else. Even before we met- I know you’ve been with other women. But I can’t hear the details.”

“I’m sorry I even mentioned it. It’s just the only thing we didn’t talk about.” He shrugged, and looked down at his hands. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” She pulled him into her arms again, and he rested his face on her breast. “Look, Ben, I didn’t go running for the hills the first time you told me everything and I won’t run if everyone else finds out. I’m not embarrassed to be with you. In fact, I’m proud. I’m proud that I’m with someone who turned his life around for the better. I’m proud that I’m with a man who puts other people’s needs above his own. I’m proud that I’m with a man who donates most of his earnings to charity and doesn’t want anyone to know. Ben, you are not defined by mistakes of the past. You’re not.” 

“I don’t know. They’re pretty big mistakes.” He muttered against her chest. “I mean, dad came to spring me from prison and I punched him so hard I broke his jaw, then I didn’t speak to him or my mom for the better part of a decade. I’ve never even apologized to my uncle Luke for what happened to his studio. Rey. I’m a mess.” 

“My mess.” She whispered. “Ugh, see, now you’ve gone and made me say something utterly cliche, even for me.” He sat up and smiled at her, a soft laugh escaping his lips. She caught his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. “But it’s true. You are mine. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I.” He promised, and she felt warmth flood her veins. She was always afraid she’d be alone, but since Ben had come into her life, well, she felt like there was someone in the world who really understood her. Who really cared, who would be there with her no matter what. In him she’d found a family, and now, with him, she’d started one. She kissed him tenderly, and turned back to her food. 

“Hurry up and eat. I still want to eat ice cream.” She smirked, and felt her face heat in anticipation. “Then maybe after that, you can eat me.” 

“Kriff.” He breathed. “You’ve gotten bolder, haven’t you sweetheart?” She blushed and nodded. He polished off the rest of his food and headed to the kitchen. 

“What are you doing?” She called over her shoulder. He returned with ice cream and a spoon in hand, and set it on the coffee table before he started tugging at the fabric of her leggings. “What are you doing?” She repeated, breathlessly. 

“You done with dinner?” 

“Mmhm.” She nodded, lifting her hips to aid him in his mission to remove her clothing. 

“I hate pistachio ice cream. But then, there’s no reason we can’t have dessert at the same time.” He smirked as he opened the carton of ice cream, stuck a spoon in, and placed it in her hands. She watched mutely as he sunk to the floor and tugged her hips to the edge of the sofa, urging her legs apart and settling a leg on either side of his head so that her feet rested on the coffee table behind him. “You gonna eat that, sweetheart?” 

“Uh-huh.” She absently scooped a spoonful of the ice cream and licked it slowly from the spoon, letting out a quiet hum of delight. He groaned and closed his eyes for a moment, but only a moment before he was on her. Kriff she loved this man- she loved his mouth especially. Maybe almost as much as she loved him for his heart and his personality. Maybe a little bit more right now. When she finished, on Ben’s tongue, but not with her ice cream, because she was definitely going to have more of that, he leaned back to look at her with dark, satisfied eyes. 

“Good?” He asked. 

“Satisfactory.” She squeaked, And he kissed the curve of her knee. She arched a brow at him and smiled around a mouthful of ice cream. “How was dessert?” 

“Kriffing delectable.” He rumbled, and that did funny things to the pit of her stomach even though she was still boneless. “You taste sweeter than before, now that you’re pregnant.” 

“Oh? You haven’t mentioned that before- is it...do you like that?” She asked nervously. 

“I love everything that pregnancy has done to you.” He assured her, rocking forward on his knees to get closer to her. “This is sweeter…” he ran a hand along her center and she shivered. “These...mouthwatering.” He murmured as he pressed soft kisses against her clothed breasts. He reached down and rolled up the hem of her shirt, and pressed his forehead against the curve of her belly. “And this, this is the most amazing thing of all. My child is in there- I had you and filled you with this life- do you have any idea what the thought of that does to me?” 

“Remember those alpha male vibes we talked about before?” She asked, chest heaving. “That was the most stereotypical caveman male thing you’ve ever said.” 

“Sorry.” He blushed, pulling away, but she caught him, her fingers tangling in his dark hair. 

“Dont be. I...I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” She whispered. “Are you...are you proud of yourself for this?”

“Will you judge me if I say yes?” He breathed. She shook her head and leaned past him to put the ice cream on the table. “Maybe it is cave man bullshit, but I am kriffing proud. Have you seen yourself? You are literally divine, Rey, and you chose to have my child? Mine?” He rose up just enough to start pressing kisses against her neck. “And now everyone can see- everyone knows-“ 

“Bedroom. Now.” She insisted, grabbing onto his shoulders as he rose up and pulled her with him. “Want you so bad!” 

“I know, Sweetheart. Me too.” He groaned, and she could absolutely feel how much he did. 

And if there was a puddle of melted ice cream on the coffee table when Rose got home late, well, she was kind enough not to mention it.


	14. Galway Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Well, Hux, Phas, And I used to come here a lot in college. We um, we actually got our start playing here on Friday and Saturday nights. It was a good way to make a little extra money- plus, Hux just looks the part. He even did a little accent when he’d lead the band.” Ben smiled. “Anyways, None of us have come here since we signed with Snoke.”
> 
> “Hold on- Armitage can sing?” 
> 
> “Like a kriffing song bird- don’t tell him I said that though.” Ben grinned as he opened the door for her. “And Phas actually plays the keyboard expertly. But a metal band with a female lead singer had a better hook- or that’s what Snoke told us.” 
> 
> “Ben!” They both turned towards the voice at the same time, and found Gwendolyn Phasma and Armitage Hux at a table near a little stage, Phas had stood up to wave. Rey waved back and clocked the exact moment that the statuesque blond clocked the curve of her belly. "
> 
> Rey finally gets to spend some time with the other Knights Of Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Again, I'm so thrilled by the positive response I've been getting to this story- you're all amazing! Any ways, most of my days have been writing and painting, since I can't work right now, so hopefully I'll have a few more chapters to churn out over the next week! Everyone stay safe and healthy out there! <3

“You know they’re as big as a lemon?” Ben asked from his place on the bed, resting at eye level of her little round belly. 

“We’ve come a long way from our little poppyseed, hm?” She grinned fondly, running her hand over the curve and then over Ben’s sleep wild hair. They were back in his apartment, swept completely clean of any and all bugs, of which there had been three in total. The fact that Snoke hadn’t mentioned a thing to Ben wasn’t all that surprising, considering the fact that bugging the penthouse was illegal to begin with. Ben wondered if he even knew yet- it’d only been three days, and he wasn’t certain Snoke kept a close eye on his bugs unless he needed information. A bigger storm was sure to be coming, but they had each other, and Their friends, and Ben’s parents to stand with them. So for now, while there was nothing they could really do about it, they decided to take life as it came, and enjoy every minute of Rey’s pregnancy, of the time they had together. “You know, I read somewhere that technically, doctors can usually tell what gender a baby is around thirteen weeks, but just to be sure they wait until things are a little further along. Less incorrect announcements that way I guess.” 

“Do you want to find out what it is?” Ben asked, reaching over to caress her stomach. 

“I’m not sure. A surprise could be fun- but I also don’t know if I can wait!” She laughed. “What do you think?”

“You know that I’m a planner. Of course I think finding out the gender would be best, as far as planning the nursery and choosing a name went. But I’ll do whatever you want- unless you want to paint the nursery some awful bright yellow, which is where I draw the line.” He teased. 

“I was thinking soft green, actually. With a cream colored ceiling.” She said hopefully. “And a cream colored crib and a rocking chair.” 

“That sounds nice, for a boy or a girl.” He smiled at her. 

“Yeah. And we should get one of those lights that projects the Stars on the ceiling too. Wouldn’t that look nice?” 

“I’m sure we can make that happen.” He nodded. 

“Have you thought of any names?” She asked. 

“Of course I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think that I’ve come up with anything perfect yet. And you?”

“Me either. I feel overwhelmed when I think about the names sometimes- there are just so many choices- do we name them after someone we love? Or come up with something all their own? Classic? Modern? Unusual? I feel like we can’t know until we see them, you know?” 

“I don’t think we have to stress about it yet. We’ve got plenty of time.” Ben said as he nuzzled against her belly. She smiled at the sight, a sigh of contentment bubbling through her lips. 

“Yeah. You’re right.” 

“I read they start hearing external sounds at eighteen weeks.” He rested his chin on her stomach and looked up at her. “We’ll have to start thinking of the right music choices.” 

“Mmm. The classics probably, as long as you sing them.” 

“Oh?”

“I love your voice. It’s so deep and soothing.” She ran her fingers through his hair, and he made a noise she could only really compare to a purr. 

“You’ll have to sing with me. I’m not a solo artist.” He smiled.

“But, I mean, you are a solo artist. You’ve Ben Solo all your life.” She teased, biting her lip. He propped himself up on his elbows to look at her. 

“Did you just make the worst pun I’ve ever heard?” 

“Oh come on, the worst?” She scoffed. 

“And it’d work much better as a written joke. Ben Solo sounds far too much like Been Solo with your accent.” 

“Well, you still got what I was going for, so…” he laughed, and shook his head. He laid down beside her, and grabbed her hips, gently tugging her on top of him. Her hands came to rest on his chest, and her fingers curled into his shirt. He sat up to meet her, his lips pressing across the exposed skin of her throat. 

“You are...without a doubt...the most ridiculous woman...I’ve ever known.” He finally pressed his lips to hers and she hummed in delight. “And Maker, I love you for it.” 

“Ben…” she whined lightly. “We have to go to dinner soon- with Armitage and Gwen. We don’t have time to-“

“So what if we're a little late?” He whispered as his face pressed between her clothed breasts. “Not like they’ve never kept me waiting because they were hooking up.”

“But I’ve only met them twice before- and never as your girlfriend!” She insisted. “I want to make a good impression!”

“Sweetheart, you couldn’t make a bad impression.” He insisted. “Anyone who doesn’t like you is an idiot. Anyone who doesn’t love you is insane.” 

“Mm.” She hummed. “Did you already tell them about the baby?”

“No. I thought it’d be more fun this way.” He grinned at her, a lopsided grin that it really wasn’t fair of him to use when they didn’t have time to- “If you really want me to stop, I will.” 

“Well…” his fingers brushed the outside of the curves of her breasts and she gasped. “Oh, you’re not playing fair, Ben!” 

“I can’t help myself when it comes to you. I’ve got so little self control.” He smiled at her. “And I know your sex drive has kicked into over drive this week. You talk in your sleep, you know. I’ve heard some very...inspiring dreams.” Her face grew warm for a whole myriad of reasons. “So?”

“We have ten minutes.” She insisted as she tugged off her shirt. “So you’d better make every one count.” 

“Absolutely.” He agreed very seriously as his eyes drank her in, and he tugged down her bra to expose her further. “I can’t decide how I should make you come.” 

“Ben!” She shivered as his lips closed around a sensitive breast. “I don’t even care how, just please, do it right kriffing now!” He looked up to catch her eyes, his pupils blown, dark as midnight.

“Anything for you. Always.” 

———-

“You know, I really did like that shirt.” Rey sighed as they pulled into the lot of the little pub they were meeting Ben’s friends at. She ran her hand over the red and black flannel He now was wearing, soft and comfortable, but it didn’t highlight his arms quite as well as the blue shirt he’d been wearing before. 

“You say that like I’m the one who accidentally ripped off four buttons.” Ben smirked. 

“You weren’t taking off your shirt fast enough and we were in a hurry!” 

“If we were in such a hurry it stands to reason that we could’ve just left my shirt on.” 

“Oh, so my shirt comes off and yours stays on? In what galaxy is that fair? I mean- have you seen you? It’s a travesty that you wear a shirt at all most of the time.” She teased, and he chuckled as he climbed out of the car and came around to help her out of the passenger seat. “I’m sorry though. Tell me where you got it and I’ll buy you a new one.” 

“It was actually a Christmas gift from my mother, but I can ask her.” He shrugged as he shut and locked the car behind them, and then drew her in for a lingering kiss. “How do you feel?”

“I feel pretty good.” She smiled. “I’m excited to get to talk to Gwen and Armitage again- I know they drive you crazy, but they have been your friends since you were in highschool. Is it weird that we haven’t hung out more?” 

“No. They’ve always been closer to each other than to me- not that we aren’t all good friends, but they’ve clearly been crazy about eachother since the tenth grade, and the timing just never worked out until now. But they were excited when I told them about you- Gwen said “now that we’re all in stable relationships we can finally double!” And she’s genuinely thrilled.” 

“I liked Gwen the few times I met her. Armitage too.” Their fingers were laced together as they strolled across the parking lot towards the pub.

“You sure you’re okay going to a bar tonight?” He double checked, glancing down at the swell of her stomach that was relatively prominent in her blue sweater dress. 

“It’s fine. It’s not like you’ve told either of them I’m pregnant yet, so they didn’t ask us to come here to spite me or anything.” She shrugged. “Plus, I looked it up, they have sweet potato tater tots and hand made pretzels and cheese on their appetizer menu. Honestly, I was so excited I didn’t get past the apps.” 

“That explains it. I was surprised you didn’t mention the fact that they’ve got shepherds pie as an entrée.” 

“Seriously?!”

“Seriously.” 

“You knew about that and you haven’t brought me here before?” She gasped, only half pretending to be offended.

“Well, Hux, Phas, And I used to come here a lot in college. We um, we actually got our start playing here on Friday and Saturday nights. It was a good way to make a little extra money- plus, Hux just looks the part. He even did a little accent when he’d lead the band.” Ben smiled. “Anyways, None of us have come here since we signed with Snoke.”

“Hold on- Armitage can sing?” 

“Like a kriffing song bird- don’t tell him I said that though.” Ben grinned as he opened the door for her. “And Phas actually plays the keyboard expertly. But a metal band with a female lead singer had a better hook- or that’s what Snoke told us.” 

“Ben!” They both turned towards the voice at the same time, and found Gwendolyn Phasma and Armitage Hux at a table near a little stage, Phas had stood up to wave. Rey waved back and clocked the exact moment that the statuesque blond clocked the curve of her belly. Her eyes went wide and she punched her companions shoulder, and the red head looked sharply, his own jaw going slack.

“Well, looks like the cats out of the bag then.” Rey laughed. “I guess I should’ve worn a coat or something until you were ready to tell them!”

“To be fair, when we told your friends you wore a baggy sweater and they still figured it out before we told them.” 

“Yeah, because someone mixed up two drinks!” 

“Well, either way, they know now. Let’s go get you every snack your heart desires.” 

“Maker, you just get me.” She grinned up at him as they wove through the tables together. 

“Gwendolyn Phasma, Armitage Hux, you remember Rey Jakkson? I’ve introduced you a couple of times.” Ben said, fighting back a smirk. 

“Of course I remember! Nice to see you again Rey! Now, you have to call me Gwen, Alright? None of that Phas or Gwendolyn nonsense.” Gwen insisted, fighting rather valiantly to keep her eyes from drifting down to Rey’s stomach. 

“It’s good to see you again, Gwen- it’s been quite a while.” Rey nodded as she took the seat Ben had pulled out for her. 

“Armitage? Hux? You gonna say hello, or?” Ben asked as he took his own seat. Hux finally snapped his mouth shut, and smiled tightly at them. 

“Sorry, I was just surprised- Ben told us that you two had started seeing eachother but he didn’t mention- ow!” He hissed, and from the way he glared at his companion it was clear she’d elbowed him under the table. 

“Didn’t mention what?” Rey asked, far too innocently. 

“Oh- um- he-“ Hux stammered for a moment, and Rey laughed and shook her head. 

“It’s okay- we are pregnant. Or rather, I am pregnant, and Ben had um, well, he helped I suppose.” Gwen let out a boisterous laugh that easily cut through the noise of the pub, and she reached across the table to put a hand on Rey’s shoulder.

“Oh; I think you and I are going to get along just fine!”

“I hope so- I know how important you all are to eachother, even if Ben doesn’t like to talk about his feelings.” Rey teased, sticking out her tongue a little at Ben. “I’m glad that we had a chance to get together properly like this!”

“We are too! Though, if we’d have known you were having a baby, we might have chosen somewhere else to meet- not that this is wholly inappropriate, there is a fully operational kitchen here, and the food is the best!”  
Gwen insisted. “So really, not drinking is probably a blessing, because you won’t fill up so quickly, so you can eat a little bit of everything!”

“Good, because that’s what Ben promised me.” In response he leaned over to kiss her cheek and she smiled broadly at him. 

“Plus, we’ve got a little surprise.” Armitage smirked, and Ben eyed him dubiously. 

“What?” He asked. 

“Remember Shane?”

“The owner? Yeah?” 

“Well, turns out he remembers us too. In fact, he told us we were his most popular live music in the history of the place.” Gwen smiled. 

“And when we mentioned that we still played together-“

“You guys didn’t!” Ben groaned. 

“Absolutely we did!” Gwen scoffed. 

“We haven’t played any of the old songs for years!”

“Like you’ve forgotten them- your mind is like a kriffing steel trap!” Armitage pointed out. 

“I didn’t bring my guitar.” 

“Shane’s still got the old beaters in his office. Said you could use any one that you wanted. Won’t sound as nice as yours, but it’ll do.” Gwen smirked. “Come on Ben, it’ll be fun! It’s been so long since we’ve gotten to just play for fun!”

“...I hate you both.” Ben groaned. 

“I can live with that.” Hux shrugged. “My main goal is to keep Gwen happy. You happy dear?”

“Ecstatic!”

“Mission accomplished.”

“I’m sorry, what exactly is going on?” Rey asked with a disbelieving laugh. 

“Oh, you’re in for a treat tonight lassie!” Hux said, slipping into what she had to admit was a very convincing Irish accent. He pointed towards the currently empty stage where a poster board on an easel proclaimed a band called “B.A.G of tricks” would take the stage tonight. 

“What the Kriff is Bag of tricks?”

“Ben, Armitage, Gwen. Bag.” Hux laughed.

“We were...very, very drunk when we came up with the name and submitted the audition paperwork.” Ben said sheepishly. 

“But it worked- it was just hokey enough for this place!” Gwen grinned. “We had a lot of fun here- and got a lot of free beer!” 

“Yes, but maybe some things are best left to memory.” Ben muttered. 

“Please Ben? Think about it- it’s been ages since we got to do anything like this! And the pub is so crowded tonight- and Shane even cancelled his other act when we mentioned we’d all be here tonight. You can’t leave an old man in the lurch!” Gwen insisted. “Plus, he said dinner was on the house.” 

“That’s probably worth more than you make at one of your concerts since I was planning on eating you out of house and home tonight.” Rey said softly, and he laughed. “You don’t have to play if you don’t want to…” Gwen and Hux made sounds of protest. “But, Id love to hear you guys playing music you actually enjoy playing.” 

“Fine.” Ben sighed. “Fine- but I’m doing this for Rey, not for you two ass holes.”

“Completely fair.”

“I’d expect nothing less!” 

“Technically, isn’t this illegal now? Playing for money for someone other than First Order records?” Ben asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“We actually found a loophole in the wording of our contracts.” Hux grinned. “We were reviewing them the other night, just to see if there was anything about the contract expiring we should be aware of-“

“We didn’t find anything, by the way, but, we did notice that while Hux, Phasma, and Kylo aren’t allowed to make any unscheduled appearances, Technically Ben, Armitage, and Gwen can do whatever they want.”

“Provided that we don’t give away our identities, play on any studio provided equipment, or sing any knights of Ren trade marked music, this is all legal.” 

“And since Armitage never sings in the band, and I never play, and you’re always on your electric...well, there’s little chance of anyone figuring out our little secret, is there?” Gwen grinned. 

“Son of a- you two kriffing planned this whole thing! That’s why you wanted to come here!” Ben gaped at them. “Did you actually just bump into Shane tonight, or did you call him and schedule this?” 

“I mean, I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive.” Hux shrugged. 

“...do you need a beer?” Rey asked lightly, laying a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “I know you haven’t been drinking in solidarity, but it’s really okay if you do.” 

“You don’t mind?” He asked. 

“Not at all. Just don’t drink anything too dark and then try to kiss me- I don’t think I could stomach it.” She frowned, her nose wrinkling. 

“Fair enough.” Ben grinned and kissed the tip of her nose and got up to go to the bar. “Lemonade?”

“Please!” He nodded as he headed towards the bar in the center of the pub. “He’s not actually mad, you know. He’s just generally grumpy.”

“No, we know.” Gwen smiled. “We’ve been putting up with the old Skywalker temper and Solo stubbornness for over a decade now. We’re well versed in his moods.” 

“Though he has been happier the last few months than we’ve seen him in...well, actually, I’m sure we’ve never seen him this happy. Not even when he was dating Baz.” Hux observed and Gwen sputtered a laugh. 

“Please, especially not when he was dating Baz! She was terrible to him and for him! Not to mention she was a horrible person in general- ugh, just thinking of her drives me to drink!” To illustrate her point she took a large swing of her pint. “I’m sorry, we probably shouldn’t be bringing up Ben’s exes!”

“It’s fine- Ben and I don’t have secrets. I’ve heard all about Bazine Netal.” Rey grimaced even saying the name. Baz was arguably First Order records most successful solo artist, her sultry alto voice and pure sex appeal making her an easy sell. She’d been the one Ben had let in on the secret first- that he was Kylo Ren, and in the long run, she’d broken his heart. But not before she’d used him and strung him along for a year. 

“Good. You’re much better looking than she is anyways. Honestly, you’re more the type Ben used to go for before we got all tangled in First Order.” Gwen smiled. “Truly, this is the happiest Ben has been since we were kids. And we’re so glad.” 

“Lemonade for you.” Ben announced as he reappeared, and set the glass on the table in front of her. 

“Thanks!” She tipped her face up to kiss him briefly. 

“Gross.” Hux smirked.

“You have no room to talk after what I saw-“

“Yes, yes, we all learned an important lesson about locking doors that day, let’s move on!” Gwen insisted. “I, for one, want to hear all about this relationship, and we have about one hour until we start playing, so let’s get some appetizers, and let’s hear it!” 

And Rey had to admit, They were easier to talk to than she’d thought they’d be. Not that she’d thought it’d be particularly difficult- after all, She knew Ben loved them. But on stage, and in their masks and show clothes, they seemed so intimidating, so much larger than life- here, laughing in a pub, with Gwen just leaning casually on Armitage’s shoulder, they were so at ease, and they had nearly as many stories as Poe did about a young Ben Solo. 

“Oi- looks like it’s time for us to set up. Ben, head back to Shane’s office and take your pick of guitars, he’ll be so happy to see you!” Hux grinned, his cheeks tinged a little pink from drinking. 

“Fine.” Ben sighed and rolled his eyes as he kissed Rey’s cheek. “You’ll be okay here?” 

“I’m great, Ben. I’m excited to see this!” She assured him. 

“Don’t get your hopes up, sweetheart. We’ve had no rehearsal.” He chuckled, kissing her forehead as he passed behind her to go find a guitar. 

“Well, we'd better make sure everything’s ready when he gets back. He can be so fussy.” Gwen smiled fondly. 

“Yeah, he can.” Rey smiled back as her eyes followed the broad shape of Ben’s back as he wove through the crowd. 

“Alright. Remember, drinks and food, completely on the house, so get whatever you want!” Gwen grinned. “Come on Armie, let’s get set up!” She tugged him up, and was a good few inches taller than him, the difference made more prominent by the pair of heeled boots she was wearing. Rey smiled after them, and turned her attention back to the smorgasbord Of appetizers before her. The pretzels were good- the tater tots were better. She glanced up at the small stage, and saw Ben joining his friends, an old black acoustic guitar hanging from his frame by a black strap decorated with little green shamrocks. She grinned at him when he caught her eye, and he winked back before focusing his attention on whatever Hux was saying. 

“Hello, everyone! I uh, I don’t know that any of you remember us, but we used to play here pretty often, at least once a week, back when we were in college.” Armitage held the microphone stand while he spoke, demanding attention as his voice came through the speakers. “It’s been years, but we’re back, tonight, and Old Shane was nice enough to let us play here again. We apologize, if we’re a bit rusty- again, it’s been a while. But, uh, we always started with this one back then, so I suppose we’ll start with it tonight.” He grinned at his friends, and they both began playing. The sight of Hux grabbing and playing a tambourine as he started to sing while keeping time would forever be etched into her mind as one of the funniest things she’d ever seen. 

_“Well, I took a stroll on the old long walk  
Of a day -I-ay-I-ay  
I met a little girl and we stopped to talk  
Of a fine soft day -I-ay  
And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do  
'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
And I knew right then I'd be takin' a whirl  
'Round the Salthill Prom with a Galway girl_

_We were halfway there when the rain came down  
Of a day -I-ay-I-ay  
And she asked me up to her flat downtown  
Of a fine soft day -I-ay  
And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do  
'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
So I took her hand and I gave her a twirl  
And I lost my heart to a Galway girl_

_When I woke up I was all alone  
With a broken heart and a ticket home  
And I ask you now, tell me what would you do  
If her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
I've traveled around I've been all over this world  
Boys, I ain't never seen nothin' like a Galway girl!”  
_

Rey hopped to her feet as they finished, applauding and cheering with the rest of the (decidedly less sober) crowd. Her heart felt light as she watched how Ben’s face relaxed and he smiled so easily and looked younger and care free. The stress Kylo Ren always carried in his shoulders was nowhere to be seen as he easily played through whatever song Hux threw out. People started dancing when they did a rousing rendition of “The Seven Deadly Sins”, And Rey had filmed a fair portion of the performance to show Leia later. She hardly noticed it when Ben leaned over and whispered something to Hux, who nodded at him with a sly smile. 

“Alright, were going to take a short break here- oh, don’t complain too badly, we’ll be back! But, before we do, Benny boy here has a little song he’d like to do!” He clapped Ben on the shoulder. “But he can’t do it without the help of a special little lady in the audience tonight- Miss Rey, will you join him up here?” Her jaw dropped and she felt warmth flood her face. “Well? Will you?” Slowly, she nodded, and walked up onto the stage. 

“What are you doing?” She hissed at Ben without any real heat. 

“Giving you a chance to show everyone what you’ve got.” Ben smiled. “And to make a memory.” 

“Singing for a bunch of hammered people at an Irish pub in America?” She giggled. 

“Hey, that’s basically my fondest memory of college in a nutshell.” He winked as he grabbed the microphone. “Hey there everyone- I’m, uh, I’m Ben, not Benny, and this is my Rey- my girlfriend. She’s never sung in front of people before, but I told her not to be so nervous- this is a great crowd!” There was applause, and she saw Hux and Gwen whistling from the table, Gwen with her phone pointed at them. 

“What are we singing?” She whispered anxiously. 

“Don’t worry, we just practiced this one.” He promised. “Trust me?”

“You know I do.” 

“Leather and Lace.” He whispered in her ear, and she nodded, smiling at him. Really, how different could it be to singing in front of his parents? She would just focus on Ben- her steady place. Her home. Focus on the way his long, thick fingers shaped themselves into immaculate chords as if it was second nature. On the way his lips curved into a delicious little smile whenever she sang for him. 

_“Is love so fragile and the heart so hollow, Shatter with words impossible to follow. You're saying I'm fragile, try not to be I search only for something I can't see  
I have my own life And I am stronger than you know… But I carry this feeling, When you walked into my house That you won't be walking out the door, Still I carry this feeling, When you walked into my house That you won't be walking out the door….” _ It wasn’t so different, really. She just tuned out the excess noise. It was just her and Ben, sitting in the Solo’s basement, or on their bed. _“Lovers forever, face to face, My city, your mountains, Stay with me, stay, I need you to love me, I need you today- Give to me your leather, Take from me my lace.”_

_“You in the moonlight, With your sleepy eyes, Could you ever love a man like me? And you were right, When I walked into your house, I knew I'd never want to leave…”_ he grinned at her, and she laid a hand against her rapidly beating heart as his rich voice filled her senses. _“Sometimes I'm a strong man, Sometimes cold and scared, And sometimes I cry… But that time I saw you, I knew with you to light my nights, Somehow I'd get by...First time I saw you, I knew with you to light my nights, Somehow I would get by…”_ she took a deep breath, and joined him for the final chorus. 

_“Lovers forever, face to face. My city, your mountains, Stay with me, stay, I need you to love me, I need you today. Give to me your leather, Take from me my lace. Lovers forever, face to face, My city, your mountains Stay with me, stay! I need you to love me, I need you today, Give to me your leather, Take from me my lace…”_ as the song finished, he leaned over and kissed her passionately, and when he pulled away, the look in his eye was nothing short of reverent. Only when Gwen let out a particularly loud cat call did she really remember they had an audience- her face flooded with heat, and she waved timidly in response the to applause. 

“Thank you, everyone, bag of tricks will be back again shortly!” Ben announced, setting the guitar aside and taking Rey’s hand as they headed back to the table. 

“You’ve been holding out on us, Solo!” Gwen admonished playfully. “Who knew you could sing like that this whole time? And her- you knew she could sing like that for four years and you never even mentioned it?!” 

“I’m positive I have mentioned it before. Rey is incredibly talented- she’s better on guitar than I am.” 

“What? I am not!” Rey sputtered. 

“She’s mostly self taught. Never took a lesson of any kind until I met her.” Ben grinned proudly. “She’s brilliant.”

“Well, you two sounded incredible together. That blend was insane!” Gwen said, grinning more broadly. “Honestly, when our contract is up, the two of you should look into recording- you’ve got something special together.” 

“When the contract is up, I think we’ll be a little busy with a very little baby.” Rey said with a smile. Ben draped an arm around her shoulder, and she leaned comfortably against his side. 

“Still. With talent like that, you could be doing a lot more than working in a garage.” Hux said. 

“Well, maybe. But I like working at the garage. I like having regular hours like I do, and working for family is an added bonus. Lots of time to actually enjoy the baby before they aren’t a baby any more.” She stroked her stomach tenderly, and for the millionth time, she wondered what this little life in her belly looked like. All she really knew was that they were currently about the size of a lemon- but would they have Ben’s thick, luxurious hair, or her mousy brown locks? Hazel eyes, or brown? Would they have Ben’s plush lips, and her button nose? Or would they have features all their own, hodgepodge from his relatives and her own unknown gene pool? 

No matter what, one thing was certain. This baby would certainly be loved and wanted and cared for, and that was what mattered to her most of all.


	15. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“I will marry you- Yeah. Yes!”"
> 
> I think we all know what's about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Welcome to another edition of I have a lot more time on my hands right now, and writing this makes me feel good, and I hope it makes everyone else feel a little better!

“I feel like making a peach pie was a little...morbid, mother.” Ben grumbled as Leia served up dessert. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ben, the baby is the size of a peach. There is not, in fact, a peach growing in there.” Leia laughed, pointing at Rey’s rounded belly. “And since that text Rey sent about the baby being peach sized, I’ve been thinking about my mother’s peach pie.” 

“Well, I’m glad you made it- it smells absolutely amazing!” Rey grinned as Leia set a slightly larger portion of warm pie and ice cream in front of her. But, to be fair, she’d also received a much larger portion of vegetables with her dinner, so surely it balanced out. 

“See, the mother of your child is happy, and that’s what matters most!” Leia teased, and kissed her sons cheek as she passed by him on her way back to her own seat. Rey eagerly grabbed her fork and took the first bite of the pie, sighing a little in contentment as it hit her tongue. 

“This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten. Honestly. It’s so good.” She said happily. “I can’t believe you’ve never made it for me before!” 

“I don’t make it very often. It’s a family secret recipe. But I suppose I could let you in on the secret now.” Leia smiled.

“Oh- but I’m not-“

“Kriff, Ben, you’ve just need to marry this girl already. Here she is, at our family dinner, working at a family run business, having our grandchild, and she still doesn’t count herself as part of the family.” Han chuckled with his mouth full. Leia cleared her throat daintily, and he rolled his eyes as he made a big show of chewing and swallowing his pie. “Maybe once she’s got the marriage license she’ll finally accept that she’s one of us.” 

“I’m sorry- I know that I am, um, I am part of the family. And I love all of you very much.” Rey blushed, and Ben’s hand found her knee under the table, squeezing it gently. She dropped her free hand to her lap to clasp his fingers tightly. “It just still takes me by surprise sometimes. That’s all.” 

“Well, you’ll get used to it eventually. I did.” Chewie grinned at her. She grinned back and went back to eating her pie with avid interest. It really was very, very good. It was only out of respect for her dignity (and Ben’s too, for that matter) that she managed to refrain from moaning. 

“So, Son. Has Snoke mentioned anything this week?” Han asked after a moment, and the atmosphere at the table instantly became more tense. 

“No. Not a word.” Ben shook his head. 

“That’s not that surprising, since what he’s doing is completely illegal. Even if he had managed to put wording protecting his ass in your contract, which he did not by the way, what’s he supposed to do? Demand to know why he lost his illegal feed of your home?” Leia scoffed. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to replace them. Anything that’s delivered to your penthouse needs to be swept immediately. I’ll give you contact for Artoo.” 

“Your old security guard?” Ben asked. 

“How many Artoos do you think we know?” Han laughed. 

“No- I just thought that maybe your contact who knew about illegal bugs would be someone from Dad’s past.” Ben admitted with a shrug. 

“I’m sure I have plenty of contacts who know a thing or two about illegal surveillance. But if you ever decided to press charges or something, your mother and I thought it would be better for the person who cleared the apartment to be...more respectable.” Han smirked. 

“And you should press charges, kid. That sick bastard should get what’s coming to him.” Chewie growled. 

“I don’t think it’s a good time to get the family tangled up in what would definitely be a long, drawn out, public legal battle.” Ben said through gritted teeth. Now she squeezed his hand under the table, and traced patterns on the back of his hand. 

“Oh, bullshit!” Han cried, and Leia put a hand on his shoulder. 

“What your father means, Ben, is that if you want help breaking this contract, we will do anything we can to help you.” Leia said evenly. “Even if it means a long, drawn out, public legal battle.” 

“But mom- you- your campaign!” Ben stammered. 

“When you were a little boy, I spent far too much time on my campaign. Time and energy. I was so determined to follow in my mother’s political footsteps, to be an advocate for women, for change and equality. I was so focused in on my professional life, I missed out on years of your life. I know you were always taken care of. I know you had music lessons with your uncle. I know your father and I tried- but we weren’t there when you really needed us. Not until it was too late.” The room was resoundingly silent for a moment, no one even dared to eat. “I know we aren’t entirely to blame. You did make your own choices as a young adult, but if we’d been there for you more, maybe you wouldn’t have felt so pushed into Snoke’s arms. So, to hell with my campaign, Ben. I want to help you.” 

“Mom, I don’t know what to say.” 

“Just tell me what you want from me. From us, son.” 

“The contract is only nine more months. I can hold on for nine more months.” Ben said firmly. “Yes, he’s an asshole and a horrible human, but it would be easier to sue if I wasn’t professionally entangled with him anymore. So give it nine months, and then, we can go public with all of the information Hux, Phas and I have.” 

“But Ben, nine months is-“ Ben held up a hand to stop his father. 

“Long enough for mom to cinch the primaries if she wanted to.” Ben insisted. “Because If she wants to be president, she should be president. She’d be damn good at it.” 

“I haven’t decided to run yet.” Leia said. “I don’t know if that’s something I want- I was gearing up to retire.”

“Oh please, princess, we all know you weren’t going to retire for at least another half decade.” Han laughed. 

“I might. I’d like to be a present grandmother.” Leia smiled. “I don’t know. I don’t have to get a choice to my advisors for a few more weeks. There’s a lot to consider.” 

“If it’s what you want to do, Ben and I both support you.” Rey said gently. “And you could still be a present grandmother, even if you were president. It’s not like Ben and I couldn’t afford to bring the baby to visit once they’re a little bigger. And we have phone calls, video chat on a dozen different apps. It’s not as if we’re stuck in the dark ages.” 

“She has a point.” Ben nodded. “I know I wasn’t always supportive of your political career- I’m sure I jeopardized it enough with my...antics. But you are a good leader, mom. And the people would be lucky to have you.”

“Ben…” Leia cleared her throat suddenly. “Everyone just...eat your pie before the ice cream melts and the peaches get cold. Anything else is disrespectful to Grandma Padme.” A light round of chuckles filled the air, and easy chatter resumed along with the sound of spoons scraping plates. Rey was sure she was the only one who noticed Leia quickly wiping her eyes.   
—-  
She loved cuddling with Ben- he was so firm and solid, but his body had just the right amount of give. One of his hands always found her belly, while the other played with her hair, or caressed her skin. They’d settled so easily into being physically intimate, which made good sense to her, considering how simple it had been for them to be emotionally intimate. They had the great British baking show, her go to for easy comfort television, and a thick grey blanket wrapped around her legs- not his, since he was always running hot. 

“What are you thinking about right now?” He asked, playing with her fingers. She nestled against his chest, and twisted her neck to look up at him.

“Are you happy?” She asked. A puff of air passed through his lips, and he let go of her hand to hold her chin. 

“What?”

“Are you happy?” She repeated. 

“Rey...I have never been this happy.” He pulled back a bit, and she must have made a face, because he smiled reassuringly. “Hold on- I don’t want to have this talk while Paul Hollywood is complaining about over proved bread.” She laughed, and drew up her legs to criss cross so that she could angle herself to face him. “What brought this on?”

“Just, I was thinking about how happy I am right now.” She took his hand in one of hers, and brushed her fingers through his dark hair. “When I was told that I didn’t have that much time to do, well...this…” she smiled as she drew her hand back to rest on her stomach. “I panicked. I was scared. You know, In the back of my mind, I always knew I’d want a family of my own someday, but I thought I’d have time. You know, time to find someone- somebody who I…”

“Somebody who?” He prompted. 

“Honestly, I thought I’d have to find someone who I could love more than I loved you.” She admitted. “Because you’ve been my family since the day I met you- and even when I didn’t think you’d ever see me as something more than just, a sister or something, I knew that It would take a lot for someone to mean more to me than you do. More than I think is possible, really.” He leaned in to kiss her, and she stopped him. “Let me get this out first.” 

“Okay.” He laughed, his voice deep and almost hoarse. 

“Well when I found out I didn’t have time, I was so- I didn’t know what I was going to do.” She insisted. “And I knew I had to tell you, I had to talk to you about it, even before I knew I was going to ask you, because you are the most stable, loving, caring person in my life, and I knew you’d help me figure it out. But the more I thought about how I would go about this- how I would make this baby, I knew I’d regret it forever if I didn’t ask you.”

“I think you know I was surprised.” Ben smiled, caressing her cheek. 

“And yet you were so willing to help me- you didn’t even have to think about it! Ben, you just, you dove in head first to this crazy proposal, for me. And then, you were so patient while I was, well, frankly, while I was learning how to do...sex.” Ben huffed out a little laugh at that, and she grinned. “I mean, You’d think the rule No teeth when giving a blow job isn’t something you’d have to explain to a twenty two year old woman, but-”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal, You just hadn’t done it before. THere’s a learning curve to everything.” He said in her defense, and she felt her grin grow impossibly broader. 

“I didn’t even make you come!” 

“You weren’t pregnant yet, my come had a more important final destination.” He winked, and she giggled- a sound she still only made for him. 

“Right. I guess what brought this on is, I know you’re getting a baby out of this. We both are. But I feel like, with you, I’m getting more than I ever dreamed of. I’m getting everything, because of you, Ben. And I’m so happy I can’t stand it sometimes, because I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop- but Ben, I am so happy. You’ve made me so happy.” She rambled, but the look on his face was so soft, and tender it made her chest ache with love. “And sometimes Im afraid you’re not getting as much out of this as I am- I mean, all you’re getting is-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” He growled. She arched a brow at him, and he lifted up her hands to press his lips to her knuckles. “How could you possibly think that getting you isn’t getting everything, for me, Rey. You’re my best friend, the best friend I’ve ever had. And at the end of the day, I think what everyone really wants is to be in love with their best friend, and to have that person love them in return. Every morning I wake up next to you, just, getting to see your face, I get so excited, because I know that if you’re with me, today has the potential to be the best day of my life. And it’s every kind of cliche for me to say this, but every single day with you feels like it is the best day I’ve ever had. Yeah, some are better than others- like, the first time I got to kiss you, touch you, or the day you told me you were pregnant, or the first time we heard our baby’s heartbeat, but every day with you is amazing. And I love you.” 

“You make me feel loved and safe in a way I’ve never known before.” She interjected, her voice cracking. “The way you take care of me- take care of us, Ben, is the most incredible thing I ever could’ve hoped for. There is no other man on earth that I would want to go on this insane journey with. Just you.” 

“Hold that thought, just one second. Just- hold on.” He rose from the sofa, and headed down the hall, and she stared after him with a furrowed brow. 

“Ben?” 

“One second! I swear, it’ll be worth it!” He called. 

“O...kay…” She managed, rapidly blinking to try to get rid of the flow of tears that was threatening to spill from her eyes. “Stupid hormones.” She muttered to herself, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her hoodie- or really, Ben’s hoodie. Ben came back into the room, walking with purpose, and she scooted back to create more room for him on the sofa, but he knelt at her feet instead. “Ben?” 

“I, uh...I had this all planned out, actually.” He muttered. “I had a road trip planned for us next weekend, to go up to my parent’s house on the coast. You always talk about how much you loved the ocean when we went with all of your friends for the fourth of July, so I knew you’d want to go back. I was going to set up a picnic under the stars, with candles and sparkling cider and all of that romantic shit- I swear, if you look in the back of my car, it’s just candles and blankets and my guitar.” 

“Okay?” She laughed though her throat felt a little thick. He reached for her hands again, and her breath caught completely in her throat. “Ben?”

“I had this all planned out, and we can still go on our road trip next weekend, but I can’t wait to do this any longer.” He said, gazing up at her with his chocolate brown eyes swimming with emotion. “Rey, you are, without a shadow of a doubt, my soulmate, my other half, every single one of those things I didn’t believe in until fate landed me outside of that garage door. You are my best friend, my favorite person to play for or with, the love of my life, the mother of my child…” he fumbled with his pocket for a moment, and though she had suspected what he was doing, seeing the Glint of a diamond in the glow of the paused television brought on a new wave of tears. “You want to know if I’m as happy as you are? My answer is absolutely yes, I am. And I can’t think of anything that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you, and our baby, and the dog you always say you want, and what I can only assume will be an outlandish number of houseplants.” She laughed, and he took hold of her left hand in his, the ring she couldn’t quite make out in the dim light through her tears lingering just at the tips of her fingers. “Rey Jakkson, will you marry me? Please?” 

“I will marry you- Yeah. Yes!”

“Yes?”

“Yes, of course!” He didn’t even have a chance to slip the ring onto her finger before she flung her arms around his shoulders and kissed him, her tears dripping onto his face, but he didn’t seem to mind as he kissed her back. “Ben, I love you.” 

“I love you so much.” He was grinning now, well and truly, showing his dimples and making her heart beat faster. “Now; I don’t know if this will fit. We might need to get it sized.” He slid the ring onto her finger gently, and then he looked up at her with adoring eyes. “Well?”

“A perfect fit.” She smiled, kissing him tenderly again before she reached up to turn on the lamp to get a better look at the ring. “Oh Ben- it’s-“

“Old. It’s a family heirloom. You remember my great grandmother, Shmi?” He asked, still looking at her hand in awe. 

“Of course. I remember everything you tell me.” 

“This ring belonged to her mother. Shmi was only eighteen when she got pregnant with my grandfather, and she was unmarried. Never told a soul who the father was either, always just said there wasn’t one. Well, her father kicked her out of the house, wanted nothing to do with her, but her mother gave her all of the money in her purse, and all of her jewelry. A broach, a set of pearl earrings, a necklace, and even her own engagement ring.” Ben explained. “She sold most of it, paid her way to America. It was easy back then to pretend she was a war widow with a baby,  
Looking for a new life in America. There were a lot of them around then. She got a little place to live, and took a job as a maid for a music producer in New York while her son was looked after by neighbors. The producer heard her singing one day, and well, the rest you know.”

“Shmi Skywalker, the Swedish soprano that stole America’s heart.” Rey smiled. 

“Right. Well, she never did sell her mother’s engagement ring, no matter how bad things got. It was her last piece of home. She wore it on her finger until the day she died, and then she left it to her son, my grandfather Anakin.” His thumb traced over the ring that rested on her finger, as if he couldn’t believe that the round diamond set in an intricately carved golden square really rested on her finger. “He gave it to my grandmother, Padme. She died a few days after my mom and uncle were born, from complications, but she asked that the ring he given to my mother when she was old enough. My mom wore it until my dad gave her an engagement ring, and then she decided to save this one, well, for me, since she was pregnant at the time. I asked her for it last Saturday, while you were sneaking more pie with my dad.” 

“I wasn’t sneaking!” She protested with a playful gasp. “You two seemed to be in an important conversation that Han, Chewie and I assumed was about her political career, and so we decided to quietly and respectfully adjourn to the kitchen to enjoy more pie.”

“Right.” He chuckled. “Any ways, I know it’s not new or trendy, but I wanted you to have it. Because it’s special to my family- our family, Rey, because you really are my family. And not the family that I love because I was born into it, or because I feel I should. You’re the family I chose for myself. And giving you this piece of my family history-“

“I love it, Ben.” She insisted, grabbing his face. “I’m honored that you and your mother trust me with something so important to you both. And I think it’s absolutely beautiful. Besides, I’ve never cared that much for modern or blingy.”

“Because you’re an old woman in a young body?” He teased and she drew him in for a long kiss. “Rey…”

“I want you.” She breathed, leaning in to kiss down his neck. “My fiancée.” He growled, a deep, rumbling noise she could feel beneath her finger tips. “You know, what you told me about how a woman’s sex drive can increase in the second trimester?.”

“Yeah?” He gasped as her tongue flicked his earlobe. 

“I did some reading of my own- see if there was information to back up how I’m feeling. And there was- but there were also studies that said that some men are put off by the idea of sex once their partners belly starts showing.” She reached for the hem of his gray t shirt, and he was quick to help her pull it off. “What about you Ben? Are you put off?”

“What do you think?” He hissed as her fingers ghosted across his stomach, dipping beneath the waistline of his black sweats. 

“It certainly doesn’t feel like it.” She smirked, and then yelped as he scooped her up, one arm under her knees and the other supporting her back as he kissed her sloppily, tongues and teeth colliding. She moaned and buried her hands in his hair, noting absently  
The way the diamond on her finger glinted in the dark waves. “You know, you don’t have to do any carrying over the threshold until we’re actually married.” She said breathlessly as he brought her to his bed- to their bed. 

“Just practicing. Can’t be too prepared.” Ben grinned, laying her down and fanning her hair out on her pillow. “Can I make love to you?”

“Do you really need to ask?” She laughed, and he nodded. “Yes. Of course. Please!” As she wiggled out of her clothes, it briefly struck her as funny that she’d gotten engaged wearing just Ben’s hoodie that hung to mid thigh and a pair of novelty Valentine’s Day boxer shorts she and Rose had purchased to match each other the first Valentine’s Day they’d been roommates. But there was very little time to consider this, as she laid back, and Ben slowly crawled over her. For now, her belly was still small enough to allow them the intimacy of this- his weight pressed against her, above her, able to look each other in the eye, to be so completely and utterly connected, emotionally and physically. His massive frame was warm and comforting as he kissed her and reached between them to test her with his fingers. “I’m ready- please, Ben, I’ve been thinking of this all day!”

“Kriff- Rey, you’re so kriffing perfect.” He groaned into her neck as she reached down to grip him gently, guiding him home. They sighed together, and he, true to his plan of making love to her, moved slowly, rocking into her while he kissed every inch of her skin his mouth could reach. She clung to him, meeting him with every cant of her hips, trembling and sighing as he whispered softly into her ear, words of love, promises of the future they were going to share. The sex was fantastic- the lying together after, sweaty, sated, and wrapped in each others arms was better. More intimate somehow. “Are you happy?” He asked, and she could actually hear the smile in his voice from the place where her head rested on his heart. 

“Happier than ever.” She promised. “And you?”

“Happier than ever.” He kissed her temple. “So, you want to go to the coast for the weekend?”

“Yes! That sounds so nice.” She propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. 

“Sorry I couldn’t wait until then to ask.” He said sheepishly. “Would’ve made a better story.” 

“I don’t care- I’m glad you asked tonight, just like you did. It was perfect, Ben.” She kissed him briefly, and pulled herself into a seated position, deciding to play with his hair. “And it seemed very...us. I don’t need grand gestures to know that you love me. I just need you.” 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to perform grand gestures.” He chuckled as her fingers started weaving his hair into tiny braids. 

“And I enjoy them. But the little gestures are better.” She smiled to herself. “Like how you go out of your way to make sure there are always clean, fuzzy socks waiting for me when I come home. Or Ordering morning sickness lollipops that you researched for me. Braiding my hair for me in the mornings, and always resting a hand on me because you know it makes me feel more secure. Those are the little things that build a life, Ben.”

“Yeah.” He smiled lazily up at her, his eyes glowing. “But I’m still going to sneak in those grand gestures.”

“I can’t wait.” She said honestly. “Hold on- how are we going to the coast this weekend? Isn’t your album dropping?”

“Yes.” He sighed, draping a hand over his eyes. “Digitally. We’ve already recorded all of the promo material, there’s not really much more that can be done. The actual launch party isn’t for two weeks- then we leave for Europe two days later..”

“I see.” She hummed, still braiding and unbraiding ebony hair. 

“Do you want to go to the launch party?” He asked, his shoulders suddenly tense where they rested against her thigh. 

“Not if you don’t want me to go.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want you to be there. I want you with me all the time. But ninety nine percent of a Knights of Ren launch party is us dressed up in uncomfortable clothes under hot lights, taking pictures with fans who spent far too much money for a VIP experience.” He sighed. “And I don’t know how we’d explain why you were there. Almost no one knows who I actually am- I’ve worked very hard to keep anonymous. All of us have. I mean, Hux an Phas are a little more obvious, since their chosen names were just their highschool nicknames or parts of their actual names, but I’ve really tried hard to keep Kylo Ren and Ben Solo separate entities. So I cant have you introducing yourself as Ben Solo’s fiancée, because most of First Order’s employees and artists don’t know Ben Solo records there.” 

“I don’t have to go, Ben. And I won’t be offended if you don’t really want me there- I know you don’t even really want to be there. Besides, I have no desire to be anywhere near Snoke or Your ex girlfriend, because I’m sure she’ll be there.” Rey frowned. 

“Bazine? Yeah, I’m sure she will be. But you shouldn’t be jealous.” 

“I’m not-“ he sat up and looked at her dubiously. “Okay, so maybe I’m a little jealous- I have eyes, Ben. She’s gorgeous even if she is a jerk.” 

“You shouldn’t ever feel jealous of anyone, but especially not Bazine Netal.” He said, taking her hand in his and running his thumb over her ring. 

“It’s hard not to compare myself to her. I know you loved her once- it’s hard to imagine you could go from loving someone as beautiful and sexy and talented as she is to loving me.” 

“I don’t think I ever actually did love her.” He admitted in a rush. 

“What?”

“I mean, I thought I did, at the time. Maybe I loved her to the best of my ability then. But what I felt for her is absolutely nothing compared to what I feel for you. If she was a drop of water, you’re an ocean, Rey.” He kissed the back of her hand, and then turned it over to kiss her palm. “And as for beautiful, sexy, and talented? Rey, you’re all of those things and more. I don’t even bother to compare you to Bazine or to any other woman I’ve ever been with, because there is no Comparison in my mind. No one even comes close to you. That’s why I asked you to be my wife, Rey. Not her. Not anyone else. You.” 

“Okay.” She whispered, her lips curling into a trembling smile. “I’m sorry I even brought her up- not the most pleasant subject for the newly engaged.” 

“I’m glad you brought it up. If you were feeling in any way inadequate or less than someone else, I’m glad you told me, so I could set things straight.” He insisted. “We always have been frank and honest with eachother, and Maker knows we shouldn’t change that now. Not if we want a happy marriage.” 

“We’re going to have a happy marriage. A happy family.” Rey rested her forehead against his, cupping the back of his neck with her palm. “I don’t think there has ever been a woman as loved as I am. A baby as wanted as this one.”

“Because there hasn’t been.” He whispered reverently. 

“And there’s never been a man as loved as you are.”  
She added, grinning. “Fiancée.” 

“Say it again.” He breathed, his chocolate eyes meeting her hazel, glimmering with mischief.

“What? Fiancée?” She giggled, and he surged forward, kissing her lips before trailing down her cheek and her chin to her remarkably sensitive collar bones. “Fiancée…”

“I love how that sounds.” He growled, his lips resting just above her heart. “But I think I’ll like husband better.”

“Then let’s get married as soon as possible!”  
She gasped, arching into his mouth as his lips closed around one breast. “Please!” 

“Soon. As soon as possible, love.”


	16. I Got You Babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“To my fiancée.” He grinned. 
> 
> “To my fiancée.” She leaned in and kissed him before sipping her drink. Ben took a dutiful sip of his cider, and Rey laughed. “Because I love you and I know you hate sweets, I give you my blessing not to finish that.” 
> 
> “You’re an angel.” He sighed, lowering his glass and absently swirling the golden liquid so it bubbled up in the glass. 
> 
> “Why’d you get cider if you hate it?” 
> 
> “Because a good celebration needs a toast, and two thirds of us can’t have champagne.” She felt the breath escape her as he referred to them as a group of three- because for all intents and purposes they were now. "
> 
> The news breaks- Rey ponders what she wants in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry It's been a little longer since my last post- Somehow, even in a stay put, my life got weirdly busy. But here's a chapter for you today, and I hope another on Sunday! Sending love and good vibes to everyone- Stay safe and healthy out there!

She made Ben take a selfie with her the next morning when they were dressed and ready for the day, her hand held up to proudly display the ring. He refused to look at the camera, instead looking down at her, or kissing her temple while she beamed and snapped the picture to send off to his parents and their friends. 

“See, that wasn’t so bad.” Rey teased, kissing him before she turned her attention back to her phone. 

“I don’t love being photographed.” He grumbled. She smiled sympathetically at him, and set her phone aside for a second to run her fingers through his hair. A lifetime of being over photographed, by the paparazzi when he was with his Uncle, and the Media when he was with his parents, had left a sour taste in his mouth. 

“I know. Thank you, for letting me take this one though.” 

“It’s not so bad, when it’s for you.” He admitted. “But I don’t know why I needed to be in the picture. I could’ve just taken a nicer one of you.” 

“I didn’t want a nicer picture of me. I wanted one of us.” She smiled. “If you think this won’t be my new background so that I see it and think of you every time I open my phone, you’re wrong...well, it’ll be my lock screen. My background is actually our ultrasound, and I’m not changing that.” 

“It’s mine too.” Ben grinned, holding up his phone to show her. 

“Aw, the inside of my uterus.” Rey laughed, her eyes lingering on the tiny, vaguely human shaped thing that their baby had been at the last ultrasound. They’d be getting another one soon- and she knew, from Ben’s research and their shared tracking app that the little baby looked a lot more like a human being now. “Is it okay if I send the picture to our friends?”

“That’s fine.” He nodded. “It’s not like any of them are going to sell it to the paparazzi or something.” 

“Of course not. Your mom might have it printed on canvas and hung over her mantle, though.” She smirked, and he shuddered dramatically. 

“She’ll probably want official engagement pictures.” He groaned. 

“Well I don’t need them. If she gets pushy, I’ll tell her she can have a wedding photographer or an engagement shoot.” Rey promised. “And I think we both know which one she’d choose.”

“I love it.” Ben grinned, and picked up her phone to put it back in her hand. “Go a head.” She smiled as she sent the picture casually to her friends group chat.

“Do you think we should call your parents?” She asked. “Or at least your mom- I’ll be seeing your dad in like an hour and a half.” 

“Probably.” He sighed. 

“I’ll put in on speaker.” She pulled up Leia’s contact info and hit call as she threaded the fingers of her free hand through Ben’s. 

“Hello? Rey?”

“Hi Leia! Yeah, it’s me and Ben here. I’ve got you on speaker phone.” 

“Oh- good morning, son.”

“Good Morning mother.”

“Not that I’m not glad to hear from the two of you any time, but is everything alright?” Leia asked hesitantly.

“Everything is fine- better than fine, everything is fantastic.” Rey grinned at Ben, who beamed right back at her. “Ben?”

“I asked Rey to marry me last night.” Ben said, his eyes flickering to her engagement ring again. “She said yes.”

“Oh!” Leia let out a noise between a gasp and a squeal. “Han! He did it!”

“Who did what?” Han’s voice was quieter, like he was in another room. 

“Our son proposed!” She called. 

“About damn time!” 

“I had the ring in my possession less than a week, it’s not like I waited around.” Ben chuckled. 

“You could’ve asked for the ring weeks ago!” Leia insisted. “And what happened to a proposal at the coast?”

“I’d bet my life savings he just couldn’t wait to ask her.” Han’s voice was closer now. “That’s what happened, isn’t it kid?”

“Yeah, Dad. That’s what happened.” 

“Same sort of thing happened with me and your mother. I had the ring burning a hole in my pocket for all of two weeks, but couldn’t wait the extra three days until our anniversary.” Han and Leia laughed.

“Probably didn’t help when I told you I was pregnant.” Leia added. “But the fact that you already had a ring did make me feel better- but we’re not talking about us! We’re talking about our son and our beautiful future daughter in law! Oh, it feels so good to say that!”

“Thanks, Leia.” Rey laughed. “And thank you, for trusting me with the ring, I know how important it is to the family. I’ll take good care of it, I promise.”

“I know you will. Wouldn’t have handed it over to Ben for just any woman. Had to be the right one. And you are.” 

“You are.” Ben whispered, and leaned over to kiss her softly. “Anyways, we just wanted to let you guys know. We won’t be at dinner this weekend, because we’re still going to drive up to the beach house, but next weekend you can ask all the questions you want.” 

“Good- we have a wedding to plan!” Leia announced.

“We don’t need anything to grandiose, Leia. I think we’d like to be married before the baby comes- and before I’m huge for that matter.” 

“That’s no problem. You don’t need tons of time to pull together something simple and elegant.” Leia insisted. “We’ll talk about it at dinner. I’m so excited for you kids- we both are!”

“We’re pretty excited too.” Rey laughed. 

“We love you both!” Leia added.

“Love you too!” Rey chirped while Ben murmured it lowly. 

“See you at the shop, sunshine.” Han added before the call ended. 

“Alright, That was painless.” Ben said, and she kissed him again. 

“I sent the picture to Gwen, too.” 

“You and Gwen text?” 

“I mean. Not all the time, but yes.” Rey smirked. “I’m just making sure I’m thoroughly woven into your life. There’s no getting rid of me now, Solo.”

“If There was any part of me that didn’t want you around, I wouldn’t have agreed to impregnate you.” He laughed. “I called in a delivery order for breakfast while you were in the shower. Blueberry pancakes, side of fruit, side of home fries, large lemonade. Sound right?”

“From Takodana?”

“Where else?” 

“Then it sounds fantastic!” Her phone started to buzz uncontrollably then, and a quick look told her that her friends had woken up and were reacting- at lease, Rose had, and surely, the new inflow of texts would wake anyone who’d dared to sleep through the first one. 

**Rose 🌹  
IS THAT AN ENGAGEMENT RING I SEE ON YOUR FINGER?!  
….  
Oh my gosh- it is isn’t it?! When did this happen?  
…  
Where?!  
….  
How?  
….  
WHEN?!  
…  
Also CONGRATULATIONS!**

**Kaydel Co  
As sweet as this all is, ROSE CALM DOWN, some of us work nights and have only been asleep two hours!  
…  
But also CONGRATS! **

**Rose 🌹  
I can’t calm down! Rey and Ben are engaged! **

**Poe  
Aye- congrats you two crazy kids!   
…  
Gasp!   
…  
Does this mean we get to have a double wedding?! Finn, pop the question and let’s make it a triple! **

**Kaydel Co  
Babe, calm down, I’m sure they want something a lot more low key and less boozy, considering the guest that’s in Rey’s belly RN.**

**Poe  
Right...if there’s no open bar I’m not going. **

**Rose 🌹  
Oh the hell youre not!   
**  
Rey took a second to read over the texts, though more were still coming in, and snapped a closer picture of the ring to send. 

**Finn  
Just started a break and I had like forty messages from Rose about this outside of this group chat. Congratulations guys- Seriously, that’s great! **

**Rose 🌹  
Thirty one is not like forty, if anything it’s like thirty.   
….  
I was typing fast, like half of those are just me correcting the auto corrects! **

**Rey  
Okay, calm down you crazy kid! We love you all, we’re really excited, and we’ll share our plans with you whenever we know what they are.   
…  
Rose, let Kay sleep!**

**Kaydel Co  
Yes, please, thank you Maker!   
**  
“So it looks like they’re happy for us.” Ben laughed as he caught up on the thread on his own phone. “Or at least Rose is. Poe may never forgive us if we don’t have an open bar.” 

“We’ll give him a bottle of your expensive vodka during the reception and tell him to have at it?” Rey suggested. 

“I mean, maybe. The real question is how naked do we want Poe to get at this party, because we all know drunk Poe runs hot and starts stripping, location be damned. He’s done that since we stole our first alcohol from my parents when we were sixteen.”

“Fair, so we don’t give him an entire bottle.” Rey concluded. A knock at the door signaled the arrival of their breakfast, and Rey scrambled to her feet after Ben, darting over to the kitchen to start pulling forks and plates while he headed to the door. She smiled to herself as she watched Ben tip the delivery woman, and kept on setting the table- It was domestic, maybe not as domestic as cooking a meal, but neither of them were particularly amazing cooks, and well, Ben could certainly afford to patronize small businesses- so why not eat delicious pancakes instead of sub par home made ones? She grabbed two glasses of from the cabinet, and filled them at his filtered tap, and when she turned back to the table, he was already dishing up her plate. 

“Don’t forget your vitamins.” He reminded her just as she was about to sit down. 

“Oh- right, thanks!” She grabbed the bottle and returned to the table, taking the massive pill with a sizable amount of water as she watched Ben put a bit of everything she liked on a plate.

“You’re staring at me.” He chuckled.

“I was just thinking about how domestic this all is. Homey. Just the two of us, sitting down to breakfast in our own home, with real plates and flatware.You telling me to take my vitamins.” She bit her lip. “It’s nice.” 

“We do this almost every day.” He pointed out. 

“Yeah- but growing up I never did. And living with Rose, we did meals together and stuff, but mostly just on the couch while we watched TV, or we’d grab something really quick before we caught the subway. This is like, real family stuff.” She explained as she grabbed her fork to dig into the pancakes that Ben had already covered in butter for her. “Then I was thinking that a year from today, maker willing, it’s just going to be another ordinary day like this, only it won’t just be the two of us. And there will be baby things strewn all over the place, driving you crazy because you like everything neat and organized. Really, it’s amazing you like me as much as you do, since I’m pretty messy.” 

“Your good qualities far outweigh the fact that you leave hair ties everywhere.” He reached across the table to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into his hand, nuzzling her cheek gently against his palm. “And I don’t just like you, I love you.” 

“You don’t have to like someone to love them.” She pointed out. 

“Maybe not, but I do. Now eat up- I can’t have you going off to work hungry.” 

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to be hungry after I eat this mountain of food you’ve given me.” She stared at the plate with wide, excited eyes- because yes, she could and would eat all of the food on this plate, if for no other reason than it smelled amazing, and her mouth was watering a little bit. 

“I know what you like.” He said, and a moment later his cheeks turned pink. 

“Oh, you do, do you?” She asked. 

“You seemed pretty pleased last night. And this morning.” He shrugged as he dug into his own food. “But if you have pointers that would help you enjoy it more, I’d take them.” 

“No- I….well, I don’t need to inflate your kriffing ego any more, but you’re doing just fine as it is.” She was the one blushing now. 

“Good to know.” 

“Don’t let it go to your head.” 

“Wasn’t going to.” 

“Good.” She took another massive bite of her pancakes. “Any pointers for me?”

“I mean, you got the hang of the no teeth rule already.” He grinned. She threw a grape at him, and he laughed as it bounced off his forehead. 

“It was One time, and I said I was sorry!” She blushed. 

“I know, I just don’t have any pointers. I don’t think you need them.” He shrugged. 

“Oh?”

“Don’t let it go to your head.” He winked. 

“Mm, I might.” She grinned, her eyes glittering with mischief. “Oh- now Rose has started texting just me. And your mother has already sent me a link to a wedding planning checklist.” 

“We could always just elope.” He said hopefully. 

“No. We couldn’t do that to your family- to our family.” Rey smiled softly, feeling a warm glow radiating from deep in her chest. 

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” 

“Probably?”

“Definitely. You’re definitely right.”   
——

“Leia wanted me to ask you if it’d be alright if she threw you kids a little engagement dinner party next week.” Han said as she made herself a cup of tea. “Nothing big, she said, just your friends, Chewie, maybe Maz, if we can convince her to leave her fortress.” 

“Her restaurant?” Rey laughed. 

“To Maz it’s her palace.” Han smirked. “So, what do you say? And just know, if you say no, I’m half convinced she will find a way to do this anyways.” 

“No- I mean, Yes. I don’t mind. That sounds nice. Did you ask Ben?” 

“That’s Leia’s job. I told her I’d ask you, but she had to ask Ben. That’s the tougher sell.” 

“What? You don’t think the Solo charm could sway him?” 

“The thing about the Solo Charm is that it doesn’t seem to work on other Solos.” Han shrugged. “Leia on the other hand could sell ice in iceland.” 

“You know that iceland is actually-”

“Yeah, Kid, I know. It’s an expression.” Han huffed. “How’s the grandkid treating you today?”

“Pretty well. I haven’t thrown up in two days, So, I’m hoping I’m over the worst of it.” She knocked on the wooden coffee cart just in case. “All the kid wants me to eat are blueberry pancakes and sweet potatoes. Which is basically Ben’s nightmare, since he thinks dark chocolate is sweet.” 

“And he hates blueberries. Always has. Even as a kid.” Han smiled wistfully. “Well you look a lot better, sunshine. You were starting to get a little hollow cheeked there. Had us a little worried.” 

“I actually lost about ten pounds” Rey grimaced at the memory of the first few weeks where eating anything and not throwing it up had been a losing battle, while her stomach, hips, and breasts had started to swell while her cheeks and arms thinned. Thank goodness for Ben and his morning sickness lollipops and milkshakes with protein powder. “But I’ve put all that back on and then some. Soon I probably won’t be able to zip up my usual coveralls.” 

“How much longer are you planning on working here?” He asked, and She furrowed her brow. “I mean, you can’t exactly be rolling under cars while you’re nine months pregnant. Or you could, but I can’t believe that’d be comfortable.”

“I...Guess I hadn’t thought much about that.” She frowned, stirring the tea she’d forgotten while she talked to Han. “I mean, I think I could still come in for several more months- I just probably won’t be able to roll under after month five or six.” 

“Far be it from me to tell you what to do-”

“I mean, you are my boss, Han.” She laughed. 

“Right. I more meant that I’m looking into hiring another set of hands. Business has been doing really well lately, and it’s too much for just the three of us anyways. And with another set of hands around here, it would be alright if you needed more time-”

“You’re not trying to fire me, or get me to quit, are you?” She asked. 

“No, of course not!” Han protested. “You’re a great mechanic, you’re great with the customers, you’re fun to have around. I just think you could be doing more than this, sunshine.”

“You could’ve been doing more than this too, Han. You were right next to Luke Skywalker on his rise, and then you stepped out of the limelight.” Rey pointed out. 

“Touche, Kid.” He sighed. “Look, I don’t like to get into touchy feely things. I don’t. So I’m going to say this once. You and my son have something special, and I’m not just talking about your personal relationship, kid, I’m talking about your stage chemistry. The way your voices blend, the way you play together. It’s something else. It’s beyond anything I’ve ever heard. And I think it’d be a mistake not to at least take a shot at recording something together, and be left wondering what if. So if there’s any part of you that thinks maybe you want a musical career, well, kriff, sunshine, what are you waiting for?” 

“I’ve thought about it before, sometimes. But Ben has another contract he can’t violate-”

“For nine more months. Then he’s free to do whatever the hell he wants.” 

“Why would he want to enter into another contract right after he gets out of this one? He’s finally going to be free, Han. I want him to enjoy that.” 

“You’re good enough to be solo, if you wanted.” 

“I am going to be Solo.” She grinned, and Han smacked his forehead as he waited for her to finish her joke. “Mrs. Ben Solo, actually.” 

“That’s terrible.” He chuckled. “Does my son know how lucky he is to have you?” 

“I like to think so. I mean, he did put a ring on it.” Rey smiled, glancing down at her hand. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take it off and zip it into my jumpsuit pocket before I start working on any cars, so you can tell Leia I’m taking good care of it.” 

“I’ll mention it if she asks, but I’m sure she trusts you.” Han shrugged. She grabbed her tea, which was now lukewarm, and took a swig as she left the office. 

\--------

It was the perfect weather for an evening on the beach- the air was still changing from summer to autumn, and so it was still warm enough to be enjoyed without worrying about layers, and she could dig her toes in the sand while she laid on the blanket watching the sunset, resting between Ben’s legs with her back against his chest and his arms around her waist. 

“I can’t believe all of this is only like three hours from the city and we don’t come more often.” She sighed. The drive had been pleasant- time spent with Ben usually was. Sure they’d had to stop like four times because she’d had both a large lemonade and most of a giant water bottle, but while she’d used questionable gas station bathrooms, he bought them snacks that she fed him while he drove and she indulged on the Oreos he’d gotten for her. 

“We can come whenever you want to.” He whispered as he kissed the shell of her ear. 

“Careful. I might ask to move here.” She teased. 

“I don’t think I’d mind that, actually. It could be nice. Peaceful.” He rested his chin against her shoulder and kissed her neck. “Lots of room for the baby, private section of the beach in the backyard. In driving distance from family and friends, but too far for them to drop in unannounced.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through before.”

“I may have briefly entertained the thought of us living here.” 

“I don’t know. Three hours there and three hours back would be an awfully long commute to work.” She teased, but he gave no reply. “Ben?”

“Remember a few months ago, Before all of this started, when I told you I could talk to...talk to my uncle for you?” He asked. His fingers started to trace absent patterns on her belly, tickling lightly, but not so much she couldn’t focus. 

“Um...maybe vaguely?”

“I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t. It was just the night before you asked me to knock you up.” He laughed, the low sound rumbling against her back. “It was after we played for my parents for the first time.”

“Right. What about it?”

“I know my mom showed him the video of us singing Danny’s Song. And he is interested in taking you on.” 

“What?” She went absolutely still against him. 

“I didn’t talk to him. I wouldn’t have unless you told me it was okay. And mom wasn’t trying to get him to sign you, she was just sharing the news that she was having a grand baby at long last and this was how she found out. Or that’s what she told me. And he expressed interest in signing you.”

“What about you?” 

“Rey, after what I did to his studio- we don’t speak. And he’s never going to sign me.” Ben said lowly. “He wasn’t going to anyways. Said it was because my sound was too dark- really, He got accused of nepotism, and wanted to maintain his reputation, so he tried to sign Hux and Phas without me, just cutting me out without even telling me. But Hux and Phas have always been loyal- we used the contracts he gave them to light up.”

“You never told me that before- about your uncle refusing to sign you.” She turned to face him, and he looked past her at the setting sun. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“No one knows except me, Hux, Phas, And my uncle.” He exhaled sharply. “I tried to tell my parents, but I don’t think they could understand me. I was high as a kite, and drunk too. I guess I just figured they’d stand by Luke If I told them. I mean, even though the fire was an accident, I had just burned down a building.” 

“Well, accidental arson aside, I think he was an idiot, Ben.” He put her hands on his cheeks. “You’re a brilliant musician. And even if I was interested in a musical career, I’d only be interested in playing with you.”

“Yeah, well. I think if I ever want to record again I might just have to start my own label, because I’m not going to be contracted like this ever again.” Ben huffed. “And I think I’d much rather spend my time after my contract ends spending time with you - and with this little one.”

“A stay at home dad?” She asked with a soft smile. 

“Maybe.” He smiled back. “Some one has to look after the kid until it goes to school. Might as well be me.” 

“That’s it, we’re going to find out the gender- I hate hearing people call the baby “it”, I mean, it doesn’t sound nice, does it?” She frowned, wrinkling her nose. 

“That’s fine with me.” She settled onto the blanket beside him, burrowing into the warmth of his side. “You really don’t have any interest in a career in music?”

“I didn’t say I had no interest. But, like I said, I’d never want to do it without you.” She shrugged. “I’m just comfortable with where my life is now, Finally! I love working for your dad. I love game nights with our friends, and ladies nights with Rose and Kay, and weekly dinners with your family. I love the tiny person you put inside of me. And I love you. I don’t feel like I need a big adventure or anything like that right now. What I’ve craved since I was a little girl was just love, and stability. A family I could depend on. Knowing where my next meal would come from, or if it would come at all. Knowing that if I fell asleep, no one would try to hurt me. That’s what I wanted.” He pulls her closer into his arms, and it’s only then she registers she’s shaking. 

“You’re safe, sweetheart. And you’re loved.” He kissed her hair, and she twisted her fingers into his shirt to hold him fast. “You can depend on me.” 

“I know I can.” She murmured against his chest. “You make me so happy, and warm, and safe.” 

“I always will do my best to make sure you’re all of those things.” He promised. 

“Sorry- we came here to celebrate.” She laughed tremulously, and reached back for the bottle of sparkling cider Ben had brought. He grabbed two champagne flutes, and traded her so he could open the bottle. “Have you heard anything about the album?”

“Probably. I’ve had my phone on do not disturb.” He shrugged. “It’s always nerve wracking when something you’ve created goes out into the world- I tend to put off hearing other people’s opinions as long as possible.”

“Yeah, I remember. I think you made it a week last time before your mom brought it up.” 

“Right. Anyways, anyone who could possibly need me that I’d actually want to talk to knows I’m with you, and has your phone number. I’m officially on vacation from First Order, legally I don’t have to answer any calls from Snoke.” 

“Good. We’ll just enjoy the weekend, the two of us.” She started slightly at the pop the bottle made when Ben opened it, and then held out the glasses to be filled. He took one, and clinked it against hers. 

“To my fiancée.” He grinned. 

“To my fiancée.” She leaned in and kissed him before sipping her drink. Ben took a dutiful sip of his cider, and Rey laughed. “Because I love you and I know you hate sweets, I give you my blessing not to finish that.” 

“You’re an angel.” He sighed, lowering his glass and absently swirling the golden liquid so it bubbled up in the glass. 

“Why’d you get cider if you hate it?” 

“Because a good celebration needs a toast, and two thirds of us can’t have champagne.” She felt the breath escape her as he referred to them as a group of three- because for all intents and purposes they were now. They already made every choice with what was best for the baby in their minds. 

“I can’t wait to spend my life with you.” 

“Well you don’t have to wait. You already started.” He smirked. 

“Okay smart ass. You know what I mean.” She nudged him with her shoulder and took another drink of her cider. “You wanna take a bath tonight?”

“Yes.” He replied immediately, and she laughed. 

“Mmm, then we should. Just...not quite yet.” She looked out over the water again, painted pink and orange as it reflected the sinking sun. The sky was slowly fading to purple and blue and a few stars poked through the colors, twinkling like the diamond in her engagement ring. “Thank you, for bringing me here this weekend. I think this was exactly what we both needed.”

“Well, thank you. For saying yes.” 

“Did you think I’d say no?” 

“Not really, since you already had told me you wanted to marry me. I was more concerned you’d be disappointed I didn’t ask you somewhere more romantic.” 

“It was perfectly romantic as it was.” She assured him. “You could’ve asked me anywhere, and my answer always would’ve been the same.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”


	17. Love Shack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“What about you, Ben? Do you hate sand?” She asked, bumping their shoulders together. 
> 
> “I’m walking barefoot in it with you.” He pointed out. 
> 
> “That’s not a no!” 
> 
> “I mean, does anyone really actually like sand?” he huffed, and she laughed, throwing her head back. 
> 
> “Oh my gosh- you hate sand! Thank goodness the legacy of the Skywalker family continues!”"
> 
> Fluff. This is pure beach house fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wont lie, this chapter is basically pure fluff, but it's what my heart needed to write, so...Enjoy some pure fluff for now, and maybe next time I'll write some actual plot! But for now, just fluff, and Star Wars references.

Bliss. That was absolutely the only emotion she was feeling when she woke up the next morning to the feel of Ben’s hands on her skin, and the sound of the waves crashing outside. His lips made a slow trail across her shoulder and her throat, and she smiled lazily as she rolled over to face him, trapping her little baby bump between them. 

“Good morning.” She whispered, her voice thick with sleep. 

“Morning beautiful.” His voice was deep, and like hers, sleepy, but his smile was as radiant as she’d ever seen it. “How do you feel?” 

“Well, so far I don’t need to sprint for the bathroom, so I’m feeling pretty good.” She laughed. His hand wandered from her waist to cup her breast, and she let out a little gasp. “Or maybe I’m feeling very good.” 

“Mmm.” He hummed his approval as he dipped his face down to kiss her. Just as his hand snaked up under the loose t shirt she’d worn to sleep in, her stomach rumbled loudly and she jerked back, her face turning pink. He chuckled, and slowly pulled away, despite her noise of protest. “I think it’s time for breakfast.” 

“But I-”

“Breakfast first, Jakkson. I’ve seen what you can be like if you don’t get enough to eat.” He grinned at her as he rose from the bed and offered her his hand. She took it with a grumble. 

“Don’t start things you aren’t going to finish, Solo. Not cool.” 

“Oh, I fully intend to finish what I started.” He pulled her up from the bed easily, and bent down to kiss her lingeringly. “Just not until you’ve been fed, and you’re comfortable.” 

“Ugh, why are you such a gentleman?” She teased. 

“Most of the time you seem to like that.” 

“Where’s cave man Ben when I want him?” his eyes narrowed for a moment, and then he hoisted her up, carefully draping her over his shoulder. “Hey- What!” 

“You asked for caveman Ben.” he said simply as he carried her down the stairs to the kitchen, and set her on the kitchen counter, and then went to the fridge for the groceries they’d brought with them. 

“And how is this caveman Ben?” She asked, her mouth quirking into a smile. 

“I don’t know, me strong man, me provide food or some shit like that.” He shrugged as he pulled out a container filled with precut fruit and set it next to her. She laughed, and began nibbling on a strawberry. “We have frozen waffles or-”

“No need to go on, I want waffles.” 

“Do you actually want waffles, or are you trying to hurry me up?” He asked, glancing at her from the freezer. 

“Does it matter?” She asked. He looked thoughtful for a moment and then he grinned. 

“No, I guess it doesn’t.”   
…….  
“Isn’t it ironic that your grandfather bought this house?” Rey asked with a wry smile as they walked barefoot along the beach. 

“Why?” Ben asked. “Oh- you’re referring to the infamous sand interview?” 

“Of course I am! It’s easily my favorite interview ever given in the history of the universe!” She laughed. “You know, they asked what his dislikes were, and he was not afraid to really tell them, in great detail, how much he hated sand!”

“Yeah.” Ben smirked as he looked down at their joined hands. “He bought it for my Grandmother. Apparently she really loved the ocean.and he loved her more than he hated sand.” 

“What about you, Ben? Do you hate sand?” She asked, bumping their shoulders together. 

“I’m walking barefoot in it with you.” He pointed out. 

“That’s not a no!” 

“I mean, does anyone really actually like sand?” he huffed, and she laughed, throwing her head back. 

“Oh my gosh- you hate sand! Thank goodness the legacy of the Skywalker family continues!” She announced to the open air, flinging her arms out. He huffed a little laugh, trying and failing to hide his amusement. “And you, Ben? Do you come to the beach because you love me more than you hate the sand?” 

“I love you more than anything.” He tugged her to him and kissed her deeply, and just as he reached to grab her ass- “What the hell?!” She sprinted away laughing, leaving him flabbergasted and covered in sand. “Where did you get a handful of sand?” 

“A lady never tells her secrets!” She called back over her shoulder. 

“Come back here!” 

“Catch me if you can, heir of Vader!” He brushed his shoulders and shook out his hair and took off running after her. She had a significant head start, but his legs were much longer, and she tired so much faster since she’d gotten pregnant. He caught up to her, had her just out of arms reach when she darted into the water, gasping at the temperature. 

“Rey, get out of there!” He chuckled in disbelief. 

“So you can catch me? Absolutely not!” She laughed victoriously. “You’ll want to stay over there on the dry sand where it’s safe, there’s wet sand under all of this water. Highly dangerous.” He raked his eyes over her, noting how her sundress was starting to stick to her legs as the gentle waves drenched it. Wild eyed, pink cheeked, with hair falling loose from it’s three buns, and skin kissed by the afternoon sunshine, she looked like a goddess of nature. Absolutely breathtaking and irresistible. 

“You underestimate me...” He said, grinning, and she cocked her head to the side. “If you think I’ll give up because of a little water!” He chased her into the water, the temperature cool, but not unbearable, and though the water slowed him, he could move much faster than she could with her dress tangling around her legs. He caught her around the waist, and spun her to face him. She had a defiant grin on her face. “Got you.” 

“And what will you do with me now that you have me?” She asked mischievously. 

“I think I’ll keep you.” her breath hitched and she shut her eyes for a moment. “But first things first, I’m going to take you inside, get you out of these wet clothes, and into a shower.” 

“A-and then?” She asked, swallowing. 

“Well, I’m not sure. All I know is I plan to keep you in the shower for a long...long time.”  
…..

“You know they can’t hear you yet, right?” Rey laughed as Ben played the guitar to her belly. She laid lazily on the hammock on the back porch, her blue tank top rolled up to expose her stomach to the fading evening light. Ben sat on a chair at her side, his guitar at level with her stomach, angled just so.

“But what if they can?” He asked with a smirk. 

“You’re the researcher and meticulous planner, you know the material says-“ 

“Who’s to say our baby isn’t an early developer?” His smirk had grown into a grin, and she just laughed as she watched his hands move with ease along the neck of the guitar. 

“Thought we hadn’t agreed on what music we wanted to play for the baby.” She whispered.

“Are you going to object to Annie’s Song? Or John Denver for that matter?” He asked with a quirk of his brow. She shook her head. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a good song to be their song.” 

“You don’t want to use Danny’s Song?”

“I’d rather we chose something on our own. Besides, Danny’s Song works best for a little boy. I want something more...cute...if it’s a girl.” He said thoughtfully. 

“Aw, look at that, your soft side is showing.” She grinned.

“You say that like I’m not always sweet to you.” He scoffed. 

“You are, you are. But you get this look in your eye when you talk about our baby- the softest look. And I can tell you’re just, so excited to be a daddy.” A muscle under his left eye twitched, and his fingers stumbled on the strings. “What? Oh- Ben! No. I’m not going to start using daddy as a kinky thing. Not if there’s a chance that’s what our child is going to call you, uh-uh, no way!” 

“That’s fine.” He cleared his throat.

“It’s not that you don’t have daddy vibes written all over you, with your build and your face and hair, and money, but-“

“Maybe you could just refrain from referring to my “daddy vibes” or just from calling me daddy in general.” He chuckled tensely. 

“Oh- right. Sorry.” She blushed. He just grinned cheekily at her as he continued to play his song to their unborn baby. “You’re a good man, Ben Solo. I really hope you know that.” 

“If that’s true it’s because you changed me for the better.” 

“I don’t buy that for a second.” She shook her head. “I mean, sure, maybe I was a catalyst or something, but you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed, Ben. You made the choice yourself. You could’ve just dumped me with your parents and left- that was already more than I could’ve asked. But you came back for me. And you came back for them. Because you are a good man, and you care about other people.” 

“I care about you.” He shrugged. 

“And the charities that benefit from anonymous donations in the amount of almost your entire earnings from the Knights?” 

“I don’t need that money.” 

“And you might live opulently compared to me and the rest of our friends, but besides a pent house, a nice car, and a collection of musical instruments, you don’t seem to really splurge or buy anything eccentric. You’re sensible, and sweet.” 

“Is that all I am?” He arched a brow at her. 

“No. You’re also a sarcastic, stubborn pain in the ass. And an incredibly talented musician. And you’re sexy. Kriff, you’re so sexy.” She sighed dreamily. “And I’m the only one who gets to sleep with you- like, that’s unreal, Ben! Just look at you! I feel like you’re the only man I’ve ever known that makes the expression “I want to climb him like a tree” feel accurate!”

“You want to climb me like a tree?” He laughed. 

“Repeatedly. I swear; I don’t know what these hormones are doing to me, but it’s like at least seventy percent of the time all I can think about is the fastest way to get you out of your pants.”

“It’s usually just to ask.” He pointed out. 

“Mmm, the direct approach. I like it.” She smiled. “Maker, I love it here- it’s so peaceful and calm with the water and the sunsets and the stars. Part of me thinks you’re right and we should just move out here.”

“You’d miss your friends too much.” He teased. 

“They’d visit. And we’d visit. But...your penthouse is more central. Closer to our doctor and good hospitals in case something goes wrong. Closer to stores so you can run out and buy me countless pints of pistachio ice cream and endless sweet potato fries. And most importantly, it’s closest to Takodana, and I cannot live without Maz’s blueberry pancakes.” 

“All Compelling arguments.” He agreed with a lopsided smile. “Well, like I said before. We can come out here more often. My parents are here maybe two weeks to one month of the summer.” 

“Mm. Ill take you up on that.” She nodded. “Now, I believe you did say the fastest way to get you out of your pants was just to ask?”

“Are you asking?” 

“I am.”

“The shower didn’t wear you out?”

“I mean, it did a pretty good job, but I took a long nap while you made dinner.” She grinned. “And you look far too attractive to me when you play.” 

“Good to know.” He stood to open the door and tuck the guitar inside before he stooped down to pick her up. She barked out a laugh as she twined her arms around his neck. 

“Please. It’s pretty much universally known fact that men who play musical instruments are sexy. Think about how many articles there are talking about the men in your band- no one has seen your faces and yet, somehow, you end up ranked in lists of most attractive musicians? Like, women are thirsty for you. And they only know your talent and your body type.” His brow furrowed as he looked at her curiously. “What? Like you’ve never seen one of those articles!”

“I haven’t. I try very hard not to.” He said. “But you seem to have read quite a few.” 

“I have not- I don’t know what- I never- Okay. Maybe, it’s possible I’ve read a few of them.” She ticked her face into his neck as he carried her up the stairs, and she nipped at his pulse. “And Rose may have sent me every link since she found out you were Kylo Ren.” 

“That woman is relentless.” He laughed. “So what number did I rank?”

“Usually top twenty. Seems some women have a real obsession with your powerful forearms and impressive height.” She grinned. “And the width of your shoulders. That comes up a lot too.” 

“Interesting. You wanna get that, sweetheart?” He gestured to the doorknob, which she was quick to open. He deposited her gently on the bed, and started removing his clothing while she watched with eager eyes. “You going to join me?”

“Soon. Just enjoying the view.” She smirked, and he grinned as his shirt went flying across the room. Once his pants were off, she rose to her knees and peeled off her tank top. “Lay down.” He was quick to comply and she threw a leg over his torso, and leaned in to kiss him again. 

“Rey…” he groaned.

“You’re still going to love me even when I’m huge or when I’m postpartum and it’s not just sex all the time?” She asked, almost timidly considering how powerful she felt from her position over him. 

“Of course I will. Our relationship has never just been about sex, Rey. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is a very, very good part of our relationship. But our relationship is trust. It’s emotional intimacy, and wanting to see each other every day.” He traced a large hand from the back of her neck, down her torso, to her hip. “And wanting to take care of each other. There won’t ever come a day when I am not absurdly, crazy, madly in love with you.” 

“There will never come a day when I’m not stupidly, totally, completely in love with you.” She manages around the lump in her throat, and when she leans in to kiss him this time, she hopes he feels every ounce of truth and devotion she pours into this kiss.


	18. Safe And Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“We have a healthy little avocado.” 
> 
> “Yeah, I can’t wait until we find out the gender so we can stop calling it whatever fruit or veg it is that week.” He chuckled, rising to his full height and helping her up. She set about righting all of her clothes, and he watched her intently. “What do you think it is?” 
> 
> “How should I know?” She deflected. 
> 
> “I don’t know. Mother's intuition?” He suggested with a shrug.
> 
> “Ben!” She laughed. “I don’t have a clue- really, I don’t! Maybe a wild guess, but with nothing to compare anything to, I really don’t know.” 
> 
> “What’s your wild guess?” 
> 
> “What does it matter?” She arched a brow at him as she took his hand to hop off the table. “It’s a fifty fifty chance kinda thing.”
> 
> “I want to see if our wild guesses are the same.”"
> 
> Rey and Ben go on a double date with Poe and Kaydel, and then get a 16 week scan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you're all holding up okay in self isolation! I'm hoping for updates twice a week, once on Wednesday, and one on Sunday (Or Tuesday and Saturday, just depending on when I actually get it done and edited!) and I hope this story can be a little bright spot for you! Stay safe and healthy out there guys!

“Ben- the reviews are great- I don’t know why you’re so jittery about looking at them!” Poe insisted. “People kriffing love the new album.”

“Leave him alone, Dameron. He can look at reviews if and when he wants to.” Rey insisted right back, gently jabbing Poe in the chest with her finger. 

“Am I allowed to give the Dameron review?” Poe asked, catching Rey’s hand and holding it in his own to stop her prodding. 

“Release my fiancé and I’ll give you five words.” Ben proposed with a sigh. 

“Is that five descriptive words, or a five word sentence?” Poe clarified. 

“Dealers choice.” Ben shrugged. 

“He’s going to do five descriptive words, I can already tell you.” Kaydel laughed as she knocked back the rest of her gin and tonic and reached for one of the sweet potato fries. 

“Tell me again why we agreed on a double date?” Ben teased.. “I mean, Kay is fine, but Poe-“

“Shut up, nerfherdr, I’m trying to think.” 

“A difficult task.” Rey laughed, squeezing his hand. “And it would’ve been a triple date if Rose and Finn didn’t have plans.” 

“Then there wouldn’t have been nearly enough appetizers!” Kay insisted. 

“Okay, I’ve got it!” Poe announced and released Rey’s hand. 

“I can hardly wait.” Ben deadpanned, much to Rey’s amusement. 

“Here we go.” Poe held out his hand, raising a finger with every word. “Intense. Hype. Drama. Impressive. Strangely-sexual.” 

“That was six.” Ben protested. 

“Not if you hyphenate strangely-sexual, which I did.” Poe sniffed. 

“What the Kriff is strangely sexual supposed to mean?” Ben asked.

“I don’t know, man, Phas’s voice is really sexy when it does that growling thing. She does it a lot on this album and it is strangely sexual.”

“Poe!” Rey scolded, glancing at Kaydel.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, Rey, I completely agree with him- actually, we’ve talked about this. It’s sexy, like, it turns me on a little bit and I’m not even attracted to women.” Kaydel shrugged. “We’ve contemplated using the music on our sexy times playlist, but Poe says it would be too much like having Ben in the room while we’re-“

“And on that note, I need to pee.” Rey interrupts, holding up both of her hands. 

“I’ll go with you!” Kaydel rose from the table and offered Rey a hand getting up. “Behave yourselves while we’re gone.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Poe winked at her, and she grinned at him over her shoulder as they walked away. 

“I know I said this earlier, but you look fantastic!” Kay smiled, linking her arm with Rey’s as they wove their way to the bathroom. “Like, that glow people are always talking about, you’ve definitely got it now.” 

“Thanks- my hair has been particularly shiny the last week or two. I can finally compete with the Skywalker good hair.” Rey laughed. 

“A difficult task to be sure.” Kay nodded seriously. “But you’re putting in a valiant effort.” They both laughed as they headed into the bathroom and Rey took a stall. “What are Rose and Finn doing tonight?” 

“Looking at beds. Rose refuses Finn’s futons are the same as mattresses theory, and hers is a full, and they decided they wanted something bigger.” 

“Well I’m glad Finn is finally getting a real bed. I was worried for the state of his spine. And yours- having spent more than a few nights passed out on your bed, I have to say that there’s no way that mattress is actually comfortable.”

“It’s not so bad.” Rey said defensively. It was her first real bed- and after the cot she’d spent a majority of her life on, it was paradise. Of course, Ben’s bed was infinitely more comfortable, but she suspected that had more to do with the giant man who curled around her whenever she was in it. “Ben slept in it without complaining.”

“Yeah, but did you also bang him in it, because that would definitely bias him.” Kay insisted as Rey finished up and joined her at the sinks. 

“...shut up.” 

“Never.” Kay smiled as she finished touching up her lipstick. As Rey dried her hands her phone started to buzz, and she pulled it out of her pocket. “Who is it?”

“Unknown number.” She shrugged, hitting the reject call button. 

“You’re not going to answer it?” 

“Why would I?”

“Every unknown number houses the potential for an adventure, Rey!” Kay declared. 

“Yeah, well if they really want to reach me they can leave a message. Come on, let’s get back to the boys before someone eats all of my snacks.” 

“You mean the table apps?” 

“Same difference.” Rey smirked as Kay kicked the bathroom door open to avoid touching it with her hands. 

“How big is baby this week?” 

“An avocado.” 

“Aw, little baby guacamole.” 

“Please don’t call it that.” 

“Kill joy.” 

….

“Sweetheart, calm down. Breathe.” Ben squeezed her hand and smoothed her hair out of her face as they waited for the ultrasound technician to come back. 

“I can’t help it- I get so nervous before one of these.” Rey sighed, biting at her thumb nail. “And life has been far too good for far too long now- something is bound to go wrong, and I couldn’t stand it if something was wrong with our baby!”

“Why does something have to go wrong?” He asked, catching her other hand hand clasping them inside of his. 

“Because we’re living a kriffing idyllic life, Ben! And if there’s anything my childhood taught me it’s that life isn’t fair- or easy- and yet, when I’m with you…” she blinked, surprised by the sudden well of tears in her eyes. “I’m just scared.” 

“Did you ever think that your childhood contained more misfortune and difficulties than most people experience in their entire lives? That maybe you’ve already had your share of shitty things happen to you?” He suggested. “And now things are just going to be as good as you let them be?”

“I want things to be good. I want to believe they’re going to stay as good as they are right now. I’m really trying to.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead softly. 

“I’ll feel better once this is over with.” She nodded towards the machine. 

“Don’t most women get excited to see their ultrasounds?” He asked with a small smile. 

“It’s not that I’m not excited, Ben, I love seeing the baby- but I can’t enjoy it until they tell me things look good. Until I’m sure they can find the heartbeat.” She said tremulously as she caressed her stomach. There was a quick rap on the door.

“Hey, are you all situated in here?” 

“Yeah, Tallie, we’re all good.” Rey replied, and the ultrasound technician entered the room with a smile. 

“Alright, Miss Jakkson, you’re here for your sixteen week scan?”

“That’s right.” Rey nodded. She found it difficult to swallow around the lump that had formed in her throat. Ben squeezed her hand again, and she met his eyes, finding them warm and comforting. He mouthed the word “breathe” and she inhaled and exhaled with him. 

“Alright, this will be a little cold.” Tallie said, and Rey flinched just a little as the gel touched her skin. “Now let’s see what’s going on in here.” She moved the wand over her belly and watched the screen while Rey held her breath and sent a silent plea to anyone who might be listening. 

_“Please let the baby be okay.”_

“Here we go- oh, they are a wriggly little thing, aren’t they?” Tallie smiled, and Rey huffed out a breath. “Have you felt the movement yet, mama?”

“No. Should I have?” She asked with a frown. 

“Not necessarily. A lot of first time moms don’t feel it until a little later. Some moms claim they can feel it even earlier than this.” Tallie explained. “I’m just going to take a few measurements here…” Rey looked to Ben, who’s chocolate eyes were fixed on the screen, soaking in every tiny movement of the blob that was remarkably more human shaped than the last time they’d had an ultrasound. “And here...is the heart beat.” She turned a dial, and the room filled with a gentle whooshing noise. A quiet sob of relief bubbled last Rey’s lips, and she clutched at Ben with both hands. 

“It’s okay.” She breathed, and He kissed her hands. “It’s okay.” 

“I’ll send all of the measurements and information onto Dr. Kalonia, but I can tell you that everything looks good here. I’ll print a few images for you.” Tallie said with a kind smile. “Do you have any questions?”

“I know it’s against clinic policy to read gender before eighteen weeks, but I’m curious, if you think you can tell at this stage?” Ben asked. Tallie offered him a warm smile, and gave a very small nod. “And how likely is it you’re right?”

“Oh, I’d say about seventy five to eighty percent.” She said thoughtfully. “But that’s all I can say on the matter, Mr. Solo.”

“That’s fine. I was just curious.” He assured her. 

“Alright, we're all done here, Miss Jakkson.” Tallie said as she handed her a towel. “I’ll have those prints for you when you sign out.” With that she left the room, and Rey made quick work of wiping the goo off of her stomach, and tugging Ben into her arms even though she was still declined on the table. He didn’t protest, just rested his head against her breast and put one hand on her bare stomach. 

“I’m sorry I was freaking out so bad before.” She murmured into his hair. 

“It’s okay. You’re having our baby. Have as many freak outs as you need.” He said and she huffed a little laugh. He raised his head to meet her eyes, and kissed her softly. “You feel better?”

“A lot better.” She promised. “We have a healthy little avocado.” 

“Yeah, I can’t wait until we find out the gender so we can stop calling it whatever fruit or veg it is that week.” He chuckled, rising to his full height and helping her up. She set about righting all of her clothes, and he watched her intently. “What do you think it is?” 

“How should I know?” She deflected. 

“I don’t know. Mother's intuition?” He suggested with a shrug.

“Ben!” She laughed. “I don’t have a clue- really, I don’t! Maybe a wild guess, but with nothing to compare anything to, I really don’t know.” 

“What’s your wild guess?” 

“What does it matter?” She arched a brow at him as she took his hand to hop off the table. “It’s a fifty fifty chance kinda thing.”

“I want to see if our wild guesses are the same.” He explained. She bit back a smile, and lifted the hand he was holding to cradle her belly. 

“On three?” He nodded. “One.”

“Two.”

“Three- boy-“

“Girl-“ they stared at each other for a long moment and both burst into laughter. 

“So much for that!” She shook her head with a smile and twined their fingers again as they headed for the door. “Why do you think it’s a girl?”

“Why do you think it’s a boy?”

“Just a wild guess- a feeling.” 

“Same.” He beamed at her. 

“Seems like we should make some sort of wager.” She smirked. 

“You think?”

“Why not?” She bit her lip. 

“What are your terms?” He asked, pausing with his fingers on the door handle.

“If you’re right, and it’s a girl, I’ll give you head backstage at your next concert.” She proposed, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “And if you’re wrong, and it’s a boy…”

“What?” He asked, his voice hoarse. 

“Then you have to make love to me on the beach.” She waggled her brows at him. 

“Does that mean On the sand, or do we get a blanket?”

“We get a blanket. But it’s still right in the sand.” She giggled. He ran his hand over his chin as if in deep contemplation for a moment before he thrust his hand out to her. 

“Agreed.” She clasped his hand in hers and shook it. 

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I'm curious about what gender you think the baby is going to be! Boy or Girl? Anyone have a guess what name they're going to choose?


	19. Your Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“You look so beautiful.” Was all he said, running his knuckle over the curve of her cheek. And she did feel strangely beautiful- more so than she ever remembered feeling in her life. Pregnancy had helped to smooth out the sharper areas of her body, the places where a lifetime of malnutrition had left her hard and hollow. Her skin was Dewey and bright looking, her hair had gained luster. And then there was the swell of her stomach- maybe some women didn’t like the weight gain, or the prominent belly, but she did. She really did."
> 
> Rey's new pregnancy hormones continue to elevate passions. Then the gang gathers for a fancy dinner party at Han and Leia's to celebrate the big engagement!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, and happy Sunday update! I hope you're all doing well, and this update finds you healthy and sane!

“Zip me up?” She asked over her shoulder. She took a moment to fully appreciate Ben dressed in dark slacks and a white button down shirt that did nothing to disguise the way his broad shoulders pushed the seams to their limits. 

“I don’t know why we had to dress up for this. It’s just my parents house.” He grumbled as he came to zip her up, but not before he pressed a kiss to the small of her back. The blue dress hugged her curves and showed off the roundness of her belly, and she could feel Ben’s eyes drinking her in. 

“I think you just answered your own question, Mr. Solo.” She turned to straighten his collar and adjust the red tie that was still loose around his neck. “Your mom loves an excuse to have everyone all dolled up, and you know it.” 

“You look so beautiful.” Was all he said, running his knuckle over the curve of her cheek. And she did feel strangely beautiful- more so than she ever remembered feeling in her life. Pregnancy had helped to smooth out the sharper areas of her body, the places where a lifetime of malnutrition had left her hard and hollow. Her skin was Dewey and bright looking, her hair had gained luster. And then there was the swell of her stomach- maybe some women didn’t like the weight gain, or the prominent belly, but she did. She really did- she was creating life! Something doctors had told her would be extremely difficult for her, and yet her stomach was round with her child. Ben’s child. Certainly, the fact that Ben loved her new body with just as much passion and vigor as ever helped with her confidence levels. 

“It won’t be so bad, Ben.” She promised him. “We love dinner with your family. And we love our friends. It’s going to be fun!”

“It’s not that I’m dreading it, Rey. Or I’m not dreading a dinner party with our friends. I’m nervous about what my parents are going to say about the album.” He admitted sheepishly. Looking down at his feet. She took his face in her hands, and kissed his nose. 

“Don’t be nervous.” She insisted. He nodded, but his shoulders were still tense. “If they start talking too much about album, I can always start giving you a handy under the table.”

“What?” He sputtered.

“I think you’d be suitably distracted!” She insisted. “Trying to keep straight faced while I’ve got my little hand wrapped around your-“

“Kriff, your sex drive really is off the charts.” He exhaled. “And to think you’re the girl who couldn’t say the word sex without turning pink.”

“Oh, it’s in overdrive and I swear it’s getting worse. If caveman Ben was bad, I think my inner cave woman is worse.” She laughed.

“How so?” He asked, an amused quirk playing on his plush lips. 

“Because every time I see you, I get this genuine thrill that I’ve got such a big, strong, powerful partner who sees to my every need, and if that’s not some left over instinct from our ancestors, I don’t know what is!” She sighed. “For instance, seeing the way your shirt is struggling to contain your bicep is really, really doing it for me.” 

“Do you need me to take the edge off for you before we get in the car?” His voice was half amused, half gravelly with want, and it made her knees wobble a little. “Well?”

“Would you mind terribly?” She asked, nibbling on her lip. 

“I wouldn’t mind at all.” He assured her, already backing her up to their bed. 

“We need to be on the road in like, ten minutes since we’re picking up Finn and Rose.” She reminded him as her legs met the edge of the mattress and she lowered herself to it. 

“No problem. I don’t think this is going to take long.” He smirked as he dropped to his knees in front of her, his eyes gleaming with mischief. He pushed her skirt up her thighs, and she lifted her hips to bunch it around her waist. He took a moment to admire her pale green underwear, already showing signs of how much she wanted him.

“Nine minutes.” She breathed, and he chuckled as he peeled off the green fabric, pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh, and latched on to her most sensitive spot. She let out a cry, and buried her fingers in his hair while he feasted on her like a man starving. His clever, clever tongue was familiar with the landscape of her body, and she was already so in edge that it was no time at all before she quivered and cried and fell back limply against the bed. He pushed himself up and kissed her on the mouth, a deep, tender kiss, before he glanced at his watch. 

“Two minutes. I think that’s a new record for us.” He grinned at her. “Your hormones are kriffing magical.” He pulled her into a seated position and set about righting her skit.

“Ben- are you forgetting something?” She asked with a chuckle as she reached for the green fabric he’d flung on the floor. He beat her to it, and tucked the fabric in his pocket as the dress came down to cover her knees. “Ben?”

“Mmm...I think I’ll keep these tonight.”

“What!?”

“I think I’ve found a suitable distraction for the evening.” He winked, and her skin turned heated under his gaze. 

“You want me traipsing around all night in a skirt without any underthings?” She asked, cocking her head to the side. She saw the knob in his throat bob as he nodded.

“Maker yes.” He exhaled slowly. “Unless you’re uncomfortable-“

“It’s fine.” She grinned at him. “I did tell you I’d distract you tonight if things got to be too much. As your fiancee, I’m glad to be of assistance.” She Rose from the bed and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. “But just knowing that you’re walking around with my underwear in your pocket…”

“Yes?” He asked raggedly. 

“I might have to disappear to the bathroom to...take the edge off a couple of times.” She kisses his cheek again as she headed out the bedroom door, and he followed groaning behind her. 

….

“I didn’t know you went to prom with Gwen!” Rey giggled in delight as they looked through the high school yearbook Leia had set out for them to look at. In the back were a collection of loose photographs Leia had tucked in, including prom photos of Ben and his friends, including Hux and Poe with their respective highschool girlfriends. 

“He never told you that story?!” Gwen gasped. 

“What’s the story exactly?” Rey asked. 

“Well, Mr. Grumpy wasn’t going to go to prom at all- for months we all had to listen to him say how stupid it was.” Poe started. “He wanted no part in any of it!” 

“Then Gwen’s boyfriend-“

“A massive asshole!” Poe interrupted Hux, who shot him a nod of agreement. 

“Cheated on her and dumped her two days before the prom!” 

“And I’d already bought a dress and shoes and all of that stereotypical prom shit too- honestly I think I was more mad about the waste of money than anything!” Gwen insisted, and Hux eyed her dubiously. “Okay, and I was pretty heartbroken at the time, I will grant you that.” 

“Any how, Solo finds out about this, and he gets pissed- like, Skywalker anger issues pissed, because he’s always been super protective of his close friends. And he’s just really started to bulk up, so he definitely kicks this other dudes ass, and somehow he doesn’t even get caught!” Poe laughed.

“Then the morning of Prom, I’m all depressed and ready to spend the day eating chocolate in my pajamas while I watch some stupid movie marathon, when who comes to my front door except Leia Organa herself, and she says she’s here to take me out to the salon to get mani pedis and facials, then lunch, then hair and makeup for prom!” Gwen smiled fondly as she looked st the pictures on the coffee table where all of the friends have gathered while Han and Chewie were looking at the Falcon in the garage and Maz and Leia were in the kitchen. “So I told her I wasn’t going to prom, hadn’t she heard what happened? Turned out Ben had set it all up, paid for everything himself, and had his mom take me out for the day to get ready before he picked me up in a kriffing limo with these other bozos in it!” 

“Her ex was at the prom sporting the nastiest black eye!” Hux interjected. “And Gwen looked like a goddess in her dress- just look at her!” He held up the picture of Ben and Gwen. She looked radiant, her longer platinum blonde hair in an elegant braided crown while her one shouldered icy blue dress matched her eyes perfectly. “Millie and I actually ended up breaking up because I didn’t stop staring at Gwen all night.” 

“You didn’t!” Gwen gasped. “I didn’t know that!” 

“I wasn’t about to say anything! You were half in love with Solo for being your knight in shining armor!” 

“Please, I was never in love with Ben! I had a crush on you since I transferred to your school sophomore year, idiot!” 

“You guys are so lucky you all went to highschool together and have all of these memories!” Rose smiled. 

“Eh, I was a wreck in highschool. A real burn out. We would not have been friends.” Kay laughed. “So it’s probably good we didn’t meet until college.” 

“Still- Id love it if we all had these dorky prom pictures together!” Rose giggled as she held up a particularly cliche photo of the boys. “I mean, come on, these are gold!”

“You know, I never went to prom. And neither did Rey.” Kay pointed out. “And we are all dressed so nicely and we all brought dates…”

“Kay, I don’t know what you’re suggesting, but-“

“I’m obviously suggesting we take our own prom pictures right now!” Kay clapped her hands. The suggestion was met with a range of reactions, from delight to utter dismay. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“Oh- why not?” Gwen shrugged. “Might as well get some prom pictures with the right man, huh?”

“Exactly!” Kaydel grinned. “Babe?”

“You know you never have to convince me to take pictures, Kaydel, I’m always ready.” Poe winked at her. Rey glanced at Ben, who was pursuing his lips. He met her eyes, and shared a quick look with her before he sighed. 

“What the hell.” He shrugged. He reached out to help Rey out of her chair, and within minutes Kaydel and Rose had started playing some brash, loud pop music, and had used books to rig a sort of stand for the phone to take timed pictures. They recreated every cliche they could think of and then some, laughing and joking the whole way through. 

“So, guys, who do you think will be prom king and Queen this year?” Kaydel asked as she set the timer on her camera again.

“Probably Poe. Again.” Hux sniggered. 

“No, it’s obviously going to be Rey and Ben, they’re like our class's golden couple.” Rose insisted. “Plus, you know, it is their engagement party.” 

“Psh, prom engagements never last!” Kaydel waved her hand. 

“What, when did you and Poe get engaged, home coming?” Finn asked with a smirk. 

“Winter formal, ass hole!” Kaydel stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Alright, I’ll bite. What the hell are you kids doing in here?” Leia asked from where she now stood with her arms crossed and a smile on her face. 

“Um...prom pictures?” Rey answered, and they all started laughing sheepishly. 

“Please. There are no awkward prom pictures...unless your mom is there to take them.” Leia grinned as she snatched up Kaydel’s phone and ushered them over by the fireplace. Then she insisted on shots of the individual couples, and as she instructed Rey to lay her left hand on Ben’s chest, Ben’s eyes narrowed. 

“Hold on a damn second, was this just some elaborate plot to trick us into taking engagement pictures?” 

“No- but when opportunity knocks, you answer the door!” Leia grinned. He rolled his eyes, and Rey caught his face in her hands and kissed him. 

“Just remember your little...distraction, and smile through it.” she whispered in his ear. His face was pink when she leaned back, but he did smile more broadly. By the time Leia had her fill of pictures, Maz had come into the room to announce that dinner was almost ready, and Rey’s stomach was growling at the promise of pasta. When the song playing from Rose’s phone switched, Rey felt Ben tense beside her as Rose fumbled with her phone to shut off the music. 

“Oh- Ben, Armie, Gwen, this is one of your songs!” Leia announced, as if everyone in the room didn’t already know it. 

“Sorry- I just had it on top hits radio!” Rose said, pausing it quickly. 

“What the hell is one of our songs doing on a top hits station?” Ben asked, his brow furrowed. 

“Well...we didn’t want to say anything, because you get so weird about the reviews and stuff, but we may or may not have written a crossover hit. Everyone loves it, and I’m not being over dramatic either. Teens think it’s edgy, millennial's think it’s edgy, even people who don’t particularly like the words think it sounds nice.” Gwen explained. 

“And when she says we wrote a crossover hit, she actually means you wrote a crossover hit. Since Turn was written solely by you.” Hux added.

“I liked it.” Leia said simply with a smile. “I think it’s the best work your band has ever done.” 

“You liked one of the Knights songs?” Ben scoffed.

“Ben, I’m always impressed by what you kids have accomplished. But this song is...well, something else, son. I was actually just singing it to myself earlier in the kitchen, wasn’t I Maz?” Leia asked.

“She was. Her voice isn’t nearly as nice as Gwen’s though.” Maz teased. 

“You’ve listened to it?” Ben asked, more shocked than before. 

“Have you been listening boy? It’s playing on all of the hits stations. What do you think I play at my diner?” Maz smiled. “Now, I’m going to go see if the breads ready to come out of the oven.”

“What’s this song, Ben?” Rey asked.

“Haven’t you heard it?” Rose asked. 

“No- I haven’t actually listened to the final album. Just the previews he gave me.” Rey frowned. “I don’t remember a song called Turn?”

“You have to hear it Rey- it’s obviously about you!” Kay scoffed. 

“It is about her- Ben said-“

“If shes going to listen to it, im going to play it for her the way I wrote it.” Ben said, holding up a hand to stop everyone before he turned to look at Rey. “You didn’t hear it because no one was meant to hear it yet- Snoke found it in a notebook I left at the studio and insisted we add it to the album. It wasn’t even finished yet.”

“And he definitely ruined the vibe.” Gwen grumbled. 

“I want to hear it.” Rey said quietly. 

“Rey…” he glanced nervously at their friends. 

“Why don’t you two go down to the music room- kids, you can come help us tear Han and Chewie out of the garage and fix everyone dinner drinks.” Leia suggested. “We’ll be ready for dinner in...ten minutes, Ben?” 

“Yeah. Ten minutes sounds great, Mom.” Ben said, clearing his throat. “Come on.” He tugged gently on her hand to lead her down the hall to the basement stairs.

“You were writing me a song?” Rey asked softly. 

“Don’t get too excited, sweetheart. It’s not that good.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true, Ben.” She squeezed his hand. “After all, it’s a crossover hit.” 

“You can listen to the recorded version sometime, but a lot of it is actually different than the original. Snoke has some very specific changes he wanted made.” Ben frowned as they shut the soundproof door behind them. 

“I don’t understand- how could he make you include it on the album if it wasn’t written for the band?”

“A technicality.” Ben sighed. “According to our contract, anything we write or play on studio property belongs to the first order.” 

“What?”

“And I did play the song there- not in a recording session or anything. Just during down time, so I could work on it where you couldn’t hear it.” He explained. “I left my notebook there on accident one night, and Snoke found it, and went through the security footage. And according to the contract, because there was video and audio of me playing the song at the studio, he owned it.”

“Well that’s just- that’s some Bullshit right there!” Rey cried. 

“It is.” He agreed. “But it’s one of those things that would’ve been a huge battle to avoid- with Snoke, you have to choose your battles very carefully. And in the end, you still get to hear the song how I wrote it for you, and you get to know what it was meant to sound like.”

“It’s still not fair to you- to any of you.” 

“It’s not the first time it’s happened. Our last album had a deeply personal song that Phas wrote to help herself get over the rough breakup she went through- she played it for Hux in confidence, but she forgot about the kriffing wording in the contract.” Ben’s frown grew more pronounced. “While this song was meant to be a private gift to you, it’s not like it reveals any horrible truths or secret shames like Gwen’s did.” 

“That’s really, really awful, Ben. I’m sorry. Even if it doesn’t “reveal any horrible truths” its still something personal for you, and I hate that that bastard stole it from you.” 

“Like I said, it’s a lot different as it appears on the album. I was going for something a little more...well, not quite “Annie’s Song” but in that vein.” Ben’s lips quirked into a smile as he grabbed his mother’s old acoustic guitar. It seemed comically tiny in his massive hands, but he managed to strum through a scale on it with ease as he directed her to sit with a nod towards the couch. “What we ended up with on the album really honed in on a specific phrase and had a much bigger, louder sound. I wanted something simple, and sweet- peaceful. I wanted it to feel like the way I feel when I’m with you.” 

“Okay.” Rey breathed, her heart hammering violently. “I can’t wait to hear it.” He sat down next to her on the couch, though he sat much straighter as he balanced the guitar and angled his body to face her. “You look nervous.”

“Well, this is probably the most important song I’ve ever written.” He confessed. “It means the most to me, anyways.” 

“Don’t be nervous, Ben. Not in front of me.” She insisted. “Remember, I’m the woman that asked you, out of the blue, to impregnate her. There’s not much I can judge you on.” He chuckled, nodded, and took a deep breath as his fingers started to dance easily along the neck of the guitar. Nothing could’ve prepared her at all for the rush of emotion that washed over her when he started to sing- to sing a song he’d written about her, for her, only for her!

_  
“When the world sets out to drown me, and breathing is too much, I turn to you...I turn to you. Though fires rage around me, I am safe and sound- because of you, I am found.” _ Her lips curled into a smiled, and she clasped her hands in front of her chest- his rumbling bass was just so beautiful and pure- he met her eyes with pink cheeks and a shy smile on his lips. _“Green eyes, stay forever in my soul, sweetheart, stare down forever at my side- I think of all the times I should have died before I found you- but the maker of the world or the force of the universe said Stay, she waits for...you…Green eyes, stay forever in my soul, I turn to you, and in your arms I am made whole, I turn to you, sweetheart I turn to you- you are my light my life, my love; best of my heart, you are my drug, I would be lost if not for the stumble that led me to your door...green eyes, I turn to you, sweetheart, I turn to you. If I’m the dark of the night, you’re the sweet morning light, I turn to you...I turn to you.”_

He finished the song with some of the softest playing she’d ever heard, and then slowly set the guitar down before turning slowly back towards her to meet her eyes. He was barely ready to catch her in his arms when she pounced on him, straddling his thighs and kissing him deeply.

“I can’t believe you wrote me a kriffing song- the most beautiful kriffing song I’ve ever heard in my life!” She spoke between kisses pressed alternately on his lips, then his jaw, his cheek, his nose, anywhere she could lavish with affection. “I’m so honored, Ben- no one has ever done anything close to that for me- you are the sweetest, most talented, most sexy man I’ve ever known!” 

“I’m glad you liked it.” He sighed, as if a great weight had lifted from his shoulders. “Snoke really had us bear down on the aspects of light verses darkness. Added a verse about how day always fades back to night, that sort of bullshit. But this is how I want you to remember the song. It’s just yours, this way. This is how it was meant to be.” 

“I won’t listen to the other version.” She said resolutely. “I don’t need to. I can just have you play it for me whenever I feel like it.” She tan her hands down his shoulders to his chest, suddenly very aware of the fact that sitting like this, she could feel how hard he was, and the only thing between them was the fabric he wore, and it’d be so, so easy to just…

“Rey.” He said, his tone warning. “We shouldn’t. Not in my parents house.”

“The basement is sound proofed.” She breathed, grinding herself down on him. He groaned, his head dropping back onto the couch. 

“We- were only supposed to be gone for ten minutes- I’m sure that time is up.” He said almost through his teeth. Oh- she loved pushing his control like this, rendering him needy and powerless, and yet still so strong- “And I wouldn’t put it past our friends our my mother to send someone looking for us. And I don’t want anyone seeing more of you than they should.”

“We could be so, so quick Ben.” She whispered against his neck, suddenly feeling as if she was the one who was needy and powerless- pregnancy had really done a number on her! “Please- please, I want you so badly!” 

“Rey- Kriff!” He gasped as her fingers found the button of his slacks and she reached inside to wrap a hand around him. “You’re not playing fair, Jakkson!” 

“I bet you can break your two minute record from earlier- I’m so worked up- I don’t know- please, I just need-“ he silenced her with a searing kiss, no longer able to bear her begging. She whimpered into his mouth as he stood and pinned her against the wall with his body. 

“This has to be- uh- very fast!” He growled, and she nodded in agreement. Then he finally, finally buried himself inside, and she’d never been more glad that the basement was soundproofed so well. 

——-

Everyone was gracious enough not to say anything when they appeared with swollen lips and red faces after, Well, significantly more than ten minutes had passed- except Poe who muttered a quiet “it's about time I'm starving” before Rose elbowed him in the ribs. 

Dinner was delicious, and the company was wonderful, and Rey was extremely grateful that Leia had thought to do this for them. She looked around the table at each happy friend, and she was nearly overwhelmed with the amount that she was loved. The amount that the baby she was having was already loved by it’s grandparents and the friends who’d eagerly taken on the titles of aunt and uncle. By Ben.

By Ben who wrote her the most wonderful song just to surprise her. Just because he loved her, and wanted a new way to show it.

She fell asleep ten minutes into the car ride home, though she’d made a valiant effort to stay awake, and by the time she woke up Ben was scooping her up in his arms to carry her into their place. 

“I can walk.” She offered even as she buried her face in his neck. 

“That’s okay. I like carrying you.” He murmured into her hair before pressing a kiss there. He shut the car door with his foot, clicked the keys to lock it, and headed into their building, sharing a smile with the doorman when he propped open the door for them to pass through. He pushed the button in the elevator, but still didn’t set her down. 

“Oh- I didn’t get to say goodbye to Finn and Rose.” She yawned. 

“It’s fine. I dropped them off at their place and Rose said she’d call you tomorrow.” He said, and Rey nodded as she ran a hand over the place where his collar met his skin. 

“I love you very much, you know?” She asked as he stepped into the penthouse. 

“I do.” His voice was warm, like summer sun. She smiled sleepily against his shoulder and let out a soft sigh of contentment. When he set her on the bed, she whined at the loss of his solid body against hers, and when she pried her eyes open, she saw him quickly shedding his clothes down to his boxers before he went to the closet and returned with one of his t-shirts in hand. “Come here sweetheart.” 

“Mmkay.” She sighed as she let him pull her up into a seated position to undo her zipper and shimmy the dress down over her hips. He rid her of her bra with a quick, well practiced movement, and bunched the t-shirt in his hands. 

“Arms up.” he ordered gently, and she complied and found herself enveloped in comfortable worn cotton and the smell of Ben’s laundry soap. She watched his face as he moved her legs and tucked her under the blankets before he shut off the light and climbed into bed beside her. He waited as she carefully adjusted her position on the pillows to find something suitably comfortable, and then she reached out her arms for him, and he wrapped himself around her with one hand cradling her belly, and his head on her heart. “I really love you too.” 

“I know. You don’t write a song for just anyone.” She whispered as she kissed the top of his head. He pressed his lips to the spot above her heart, and settled his face there again. “Thank you- for taking care of me.” 

“Any time.” He said seriously.   
“Mm.” she hummed, but her eyes were still so heavy, and he was so warm and safe feeling…He was humming gently against her t-shirt clad skin, and the sensation was pleasant. As she drifted off again, warm and content, it briefly registered that he was softly singing the song he’d written for her. 

_“Green eyes, stay forever in my soul, I turn to you, and in your arms I am made whole, I turn to you, sweetheart I turn to you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, my friend actually wrote the song Ben writes for Rey, and recorded it for me and it was as I wanted it, Sweet and simple. And a little cheesy, which is just how I like my romance, haha. I'll try to see if she'll let me post the recording for you guys!


	20. Falling Slowly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then something happened that took her breath away- 
> 
> A movement, a discernible, decisive sort of movement from deep in her belly. Nothing like the little bubble like feelings she’d pondered the last few weeks; this was something- someone alive inside of her, moving tiny arms and legs and trying to get comfortable. 
> 
> This was her baby."
> 
> A game night, a lot of chocolate cake, and a lot of other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Happy Wednesday update!

“Oh maker! Ben! Yes!” She gasped, tipping her head back against the couch. Ben glanced up at her with an amused smile. 

“Um- guys, could you not?” Finn coughed. 

“Her ankles are swollen.” Ben shrugged as he continued to rub her foot.

“Okay, But like, Can you make it sound less like a porno?” Finn suggested. 

“I can’t help it- he’s very good with his hands!” Rey sighed, earning a guffaw from Poe where he sat setting up the trivial pursuit board. “Shut up, Poe, I didn’t mean it like that!” 

“Tough luck buddy.” Poe winked at Ben. 

“Just because she didn’t mean it that way doesn’t mean he’s bad at it Poe.” Kaydel elbowed him gently in the arm. 

“He does have really big hands.” Rose giggled as she took a sip of her rum and coke. 

“Okay, now I’m with Finn, can we change the subject?” Ben asked, and Rey glanced down to see his face stained red. 

“Sure- when are the two of you tying the knot? Or you two, for that matter!” Rose asked, looking at Ben and Rey, and Poe and Kaydel in turn. 

“We are getting married fourth of July weekend, as planned.” Kay smiled. “We’ve got a shit ton of fireworks. And Rey will be able to drink by then too, which is good, because it’s going to be a party.” 

“I mean, I’ll probably still be breast feeding, and also, I’ll have a four month old baby, so…” 

“It’s not like you have to drink to be fun, Rey.” Kay shrugged. “But Ben’s gonna have to keep the baby during my bachelorette party, because I don’t want any tiny eyes seeing what’s happening there.” 

“Fair enough.” Rey chuckled. “We haven’t actually chosen a wedding date yet. I don’t know- we want something really small.” 

“I said we could just go to the courthouse, but Rey pointed out my mother would kill me.” Ben laughed. 

“So I guess we’ll get married as soon as Leia thinks we can get something nice together.” Rey shrugged. 

“Wow, you’re being so much more chill about this than I could ever be!” Rose scoffed.

“I don’t know, I never gave a wedding much thought when I was little.” Rey frowned. “So I don’t have any picture in my mind of what it should be like- all I know is that I’ll get to marry Ben. And that’s all I really care about, as far as a wedding is concerned.” Ben squeezed her ankle before he switched to her other foot. “I mean, I guess I still do want the white dress, and the flowers and stuff, but beyond that, details are sort of hazy.” 

“Well between Leia and I, we’ll plan you something incredible.” Rose insisted. “Because you deserve it.”

“Don’t forget about me!” Kaydel said, raising her hand. “I want to help too!” 

“You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for.” Rey grinned. 

“Wow, Finn, what are we, chopped liver?” Poe asked. 

“Well, we’re not much use when it comes to wedding planning I guess.” 

“Speak for yourself, I’m terrific at party planning!” 

“Party planning, babe. This is a wedding we’re talking about- what I assume is going to be a dry wedding. That’s not your strong suit.” Kaydel teased gently. 

“...Fair enough.” Poe admitted with a quiet chuckle. 

“Alright, are we going to play this game or what?” Rose asked. 

“Ugh, I don’t know why we bother- Ben and Rey win every time!” Kay groaned. 

“Which is why I pick it.” Rey waggled her eyebrows. 

“Fine. Just wait until my turn to pick. I’m going to choose the most ridiculous games of all time, and you’re going to lose, because no one can be as ridiculous as Poe and I!” Kaydel huffed playfully. 

“Damn straight!” Poe kissed her cheek, and she turned her head to kiss him on the mouth. 

“It’s so nice now that we’re all paired off like this!” Rose sighed dreamily. “Before I always felt bad for Ben and Rey, but now they have each other and it’s so cute I can’t even!” 

“How much have you had to drink Rose?” Rey laughed. 

“Not enough to be hungover tomorrow. Yet.” Rose winked. 

“Don’t worry honey, you can get there, I believe in you.” Finn teased with a fond smile. 

“He’s so supportive of me!” Rose grinned as she leaned into Finn’s shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. 

“Rey, is your phone plugged into the wall over there?” Poe asked. 

“Yeah, Why?” 

“Cause it’s ringing.” He sighed as he rose from the floor to go grab it for her. 

“Thank you, Poe, you’re the best friend a girl could have too!” 

“About time you acknowledged that!” He grinned over his shoulder. “But who’s calling you? Isn’t everyone you know here?” 

“You aren’t everyone I know.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“Ah, I just missed it.” Poe frowned. “You’re at a hundred though, you want it?” 

“Yes please! Who was it?” She asked.

“Unknown number.” He shrugged as he handed it off. 

“Huh. Weird.” She unlocked the phone and went to missed calls, staring down at the list with a frown. 

“Holy shit- why do you have so many calls from an unknown number?” Poe asked, and Ben’s head snapped up to look at her. “Rey, one or two calls from an unknown number is one thing, you’ve got an entire kriffing list.” 

“Can I see?” Ben asked, reaching for the phone. She sighed as she set it in his hand, and he pursed his lips as he scrolled down the list. “You’ve been getting a call twice a day from an unknown number for the last two weeks and you didn’t think to mention it?” 

“I didn’t think it was that big a deal- it’s probably just a telemarketer, or something like that.” She shrugged. 

“Or it could be a stalker.” Finn scoffed. 

“Finn, don’t be over dramatic.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“Sweetheart, he’s not being over dramatic about this. This is weird.” Ben turned on his knees to face her, and set a hand on her knee. “I want you to change your number.” 

“But-”

“Rey. Please.” Ben said softly. “For my peace of mind if nothing else.”

“Fine.” She nodded. “But it sounds like a pain in the ass, and you have to go wait at the store with me.” 

“Thank you.” He kissed her hand. 

“And you owe me blueberry pancakes from Takodana.” 

“Any time you want them.” He promised. 

“I also want a milkshake.” 

“Right now?” He asked, already going for his phone. 

“No I- well actually, now that you mention it…” 

“Alright, who else wants something from Takodana?” Ben asked over his shoulder. Everyone raised their hand. “Okay, just hold on a sec. what sort of potatoes do you want Rey?”

“...mashed.” She murmured, blushing. 

“Damn, it’s like he anticipates her every need!” Kay said, half amused, half awed. 

“It’s impressive, but I also feel he’s creating an incredibly high mark for the rest of us to live up to.” Poe groaned as he sunk back into his spot on the sofa next to Kaydel.

“Don’t beat yourself up too much babe, you did get an eleven like me to agree to marry you, so you can’t be doing too bad.” She grinned. 

“That’s a fair point.” He laughed. 

“Alright, just add whatever you want to the order.” Ben sighed as he tossed his phone to Finn. 

“Whatever I want?” Poe asked mischievously.

“The most expensive thing on Maz’s menu is like sixty dollars, and that’s a dessert platter for parties. I think I can afford that.” 

“...what kind of desserts?” Poe beamed. 

“Sounds like we’re getting a dessert platter, huh?” Rey laughed, and Ben rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, sounds like it.” 

……

“You are so sweet to me.” Rey sighed contentedly as Ben held up a forkful of chocolate cake to her lips. There was an array of miniatures of Maz’s finest desserts in the fridge, but the chocolate cake was exactly what she needed when she woke up at two in the morning, uncomfortable and unable to settle. 

“Don’t let that get out. You’ll ruin my stoic and sullen reputation.” He smirked, taking a bite of cake for himself. “What does Maz put in this cake to make it so good?” 

“I’ve thought about it a lot and the only logical explanation is drugs.” 

“Mmm. That makes sense.” He nodded, prepping another forkful of cake for her. She moaned as the chocolate hit her tongue, rich and creamy and delicious. 

“You think Maz would make our wedding cake?” She asked. “Or we could just buy her out of chocolate cake the day of the wedding. I don’t even care as long as I get to eat this cake.”

“I’m almost positive she would if we asked. She might even do it as a wedding gift, not that I wouldn’t try to pay her anyways.” He said thoughtfully. “This cake is worth it’s weight in gold.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ben. It’s so light and fluffy, it’s worth at least two times the weight.” She insisted. “If not three- I swear, before we started sleeping together, eating this cake was the most pleasant physical experience I had.”

“Sex with me is better than this cake?” He asked, gasping.

“It was a close call, but you managed a narrow victory.” 

“I’ve never been so honored in my entire life!” He laughed, throwing his head back. They polished off the cake together, and he popped out of the bedroom to put the dish in the sink and grab water. Rey glanced down at her belly, and put a hand on both sides. 

“What’s going on little guy? Why aren’t we sleeping, huh?” She asked softly. Then something happened that took her breath away- 

A movement, a discernible, decisive sort of movement from deep in her belly. Nothing like the little bubble like feelings she’d pondered the last few weeks; this was something- someone alive inside of her, moving tiny arms and legs and trying to get comfortable. 

This was her baby. 

“Rey? What’s wrong?” Ben asked, crossing the room quickly. He set the water on the bedside table, and sat on the edge of the bed to take her face in his hands. Only when his skin met hers did she realize that there were tears streaming down her face. She shook her head and smiled tremulously at him. “What’s going on sweetheart?”

“It’s moving, Ben- really, really moving!” She said breathlessly. The worry melted from his face, and a brilliant smile took its place. “I haven’t been sure before now, things were so subtle, but I’m sure that it’s moving now!” 

“That’s amazing!” He rested his forehead against hers, and she clasped a hand over his. “Guess she liked Maz’s cake too.” 

“Yeah, he did.” She snickered. “I don’t think you’ll be able to feel it just yet, I couldn’t feel it against my hands, but soon.”

“Soon.” He nodded, kissing her softly before he bent forward to press a kiss to her stomach. “Hey there little one. You’re moving around, huh? I’m really glad. You’re growing like a champion in there, aren’t you?” Rey gently stroked her fingers through his hair as he spoke to their child in a hushed tone. “You are so loved, you know, by so many people. Especially your mother and I. We love you so much.” The baby wriggled again, and Rey gasped. “What?”

“Seems like they like the sound of their daddy’s voice. He’s moving around a whole bunch.” 

“Is she?” Ben smiled crookedly at her. “Your mama and I have a little wager going, about if you’re a boy or a girl. But we won’t be disappointed either way, kiddo. We just want you to be healthy and happy. But I’ll bet you’re really happy in there, with Mama keeping you nice and warm and fed. She’s such a great mother already, it takes my breath away.” 

“Oh Ben…” she felt a fat tear drip down her nose. “You’re a great dad, you know. Taking such good care of both of us all the time. We’re both so, so lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have both of you.” He sat up again, ready to hold her as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I wonder if you couldn’t sleep because the baby is restless tonight.”

“Maybe.” She nodded, burying her face in his chest. “Or maybe I just really needed that cake.”

“Both acceptable reasons.” He laughed softly against her hair. “You think you’re ready to try to settle in again?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” She yawned as she pulled back from his embrace and grabbed one of the glasses of water. She took several sips before setting it aside. “Now I’ll probably have to pee in a few hours.” 

“Well, try to get some sleep before the inevitable I suppose.” He crawled to his place beside her, and she settled in on her side next to him, throwing an arm and a leg over his body and sighing contentedly at the new position. “Are you using me as a glorified body pillow?”

“...no?” He laughed. “Maybe. Yes. I love you?” 

“I love you too, sweetheart.” 

“But if you move, I might kill you.” She deadpanned, And He laughed again, louder this time. “This is the most comfortable I’ve felt all night.”

“I won’t move.” He promised. “You’re the one who’s a restless sleeper, though. Do I get to live if you move away in your sleep?”

“I suppose that’s fair.” She nodded and kissed his shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to off you. Then how would I sleep?”

“We could get you an actual body pillow. Or one of those weird pregnancy pillow things.” 

“Mmm, but you’re so warm and you smell so good.” She protested. “You’re the best body pillow in the world.” 

“I’ve waited my whole life to have a woman say those words to me.” 

“Oh shut up!” She giggled, the sound morphing into a yawn. 

“Go to sleep sweetheart, I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He whispered. And true to his word, he was there when she woke up rocking her hips against his solid thigh after what she could only call a very vivid dream left her hot and bothered and completely unsatisfied. He wasted no time at all tugging her on top of him and shucking his shorts to slip into her, moving with her at a lazy pace that had him so deep she saw stars with every cant of his hips. When she came with his name on her lips, all she could think was how lucky she was to have found this man. 

……..

“Gwen says to remind you to shave before you get to the studio tonight.” Rey said, glancing up from her new phone. “Apparently you complain too much if you don’t.”

“It’s sweaty and miserable under that thing.” Ben sighed as he ran his hand over the light beard that he’d allowed to grow since the last time he’d had to don the mask of Kylo Ren. 

“Soon you won’t have to wear it anymore.” She said, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “And you can keep a beard full time if you like.” 

“Do you like it?” He asked thoughtfully. 

“I like you either way.” She assured him. “But the beard does add some...sensation, when you go down on me. It’s nice.”

“Oh?” He grinned wolfishly at her, his dark eyes glinting. 

“But you’re just as good without it. And you look just as good without it. Honestly, it’s unfair how good you look all the time, Ben.” 

“Me? Have you ever looked in a mirror, Rey?” He scoffed. She glanced down at her stretchy maternity leggings and his old oversized college sweatshirt, and looked up at him dubiously. “I’m serious- you’re so beautiful, Rey. All the time. You can go from being the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life to the sexiest woman on the face of the planet at the drop of a hat, and it’s maddening.” 

“Oh, yes, because stretch marks and big cotton panties are the epitome of sexy.” She waggled her brows at him with a wry smile.

“The stretch marks are sexy.” He insisted. “To me, anyways.”

“Really? I look like some sort of weird naked tiger!”

“You got them because you’re growing a baby I put in you. It’s another constant reminder of my virility- caveman Ben finds it unbelievably hot.” He explained with a wink. 

“What does sophisticated Ben think of them?” 

“I’m not sure he exists.” He teased. “But if he did, sophisticated Ben would see them as a sign that the woman he loves is creating a new life- and that no matter how that changes her, he will always be in awe of the changes, because she chose to have his child.” She leaned across the sofa and grabbed his chin to pull him in for a kiss. 

“Thank you.” 

“No, thank you.” He said, looking down at her stomach with delight. “Truly. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” She gave him another quick peck. “Now go shave, Ben. You’ve got to leave sooner than later.” 

“You don’t want me to go down on you with the beard one more time for the road?” He asked.

“Ben, if we go down that road right now, you’re going to be late to your own launch party. And before you tell me you don’t care, Gwen made me promise I would have you leave on time.” 

“Spoil sport.” He muttered. He rose from the sofa with a sigh and headed to their bedroom and the master bath. “You know, it only would’ve taken two minutes!”

“Not if I decided I wanted to ride you into the couch!” She called back, and she heard him groan as the water started running. she texted Gwen a quick confirmation of Ben’s shave, and sprawled out on the couch. 

“Satisfied?” Ben asked as he emerged from the bathroom.

“You look nice.” She smiled as she awkwardly pushed herself into a seated position. “Sit on the floor and I’ll braid back the front of your hair for you.” He sunk down in front of her, kissing her quickly before he turned to lean against the couch. “You have the elastics?” 

“Mmhm.” He dropped a small handful of the black bands on the couch beside her. She raked her fingers through his hair, delighting in the silkiness of it. He let out a low sound like a purr and she giggled. “What? It feels nice.” 

“Okay, but you sound like a jungle cat.” 

“A jungle cat?”

“Well you’re much too big to be a house cat, aren’t you?” She wove his hair out of his face the way he always wore it under his mask. 

“I suppose you’re right. You did compare yourself to a tiger earlier. And if you’re a tiger, I guess I’d want to be a jungle cat too.” 

“Was that your attempt on a “If you’re a bird Im a bird” moment? Have I been making you watch too many romcoms with me?” 

“To be fair we usually only get halfway through one before you decide you’d rather be making out.” 

“I decide?”

“Oh, I’d rather be making out before we even start the movies. But you love them, so I put in my best effort.” She tied off the first braid and started a second at its side. “What are you going to do tonight?”

“I was thinking I’d go back to my apartment and grab a few more things.” She’d been slowly moving her possessions to Ben’s place- their place- since he’d asked her. It was an easier transition that way. A few of her old battered second hand books sat amid his first editions on the shelves, a chipped blue mug covered in blueprints that Rose had given her the first Christmas they’d known each other was in the cupboard with his otherwise black matching mugs. The stark white area rug under his coffee table had been replaced with the large green plush rug that had been the first thing she’d purchased for her home when she finally saved up enough to feel comfortable buying any non essential items. Most of her clothes that actually fit were in the walk in closet, half of which was hers, while skinny jeans and t-shirts that wouldn’t accommodate her bump had been left behind for now. 

“You’re not going to try to lift anything, are you?” He asked warily. 

“Nothing big.” 

“Rey, you’re not supposed to be lifting stuff.” 

“I’m just going to grab a few little things!” Rey huffed. 

“Maybe we should set a date to actually finish packing up your stuff, Rey. The lease ends pretty soon, doesn’t it?”

“It does.”

“And it’d be a lot easier to load things into my car. We could probably get Poe to bring his too if we offered pizza as a reward.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you freaking out about moving out of your place?” 

“No. Maybe a little- but not because I don’t want to live here with you, I do, I just feel very sentimental lately, and it’s stupid, but the fact that Rose and I are both leaving the apartment makes me feel sad! Like we’re leaving behind an old friend or something.” She sniffed as she tied off the second braid to begin the third. “And your hair is so thick and luxurious- and I had to get pregnant before mine even started to look this nice!”

“Do you want to keep your own place for a while longer?” He asked softly.

“What?”

“Do you want to keep your own place for a while longer?” He asked again. “It’s okay if you do. We have been moving really fast, and if you’re freaking out-“

“I’m not freaking out!” She insisted. “As far as things between the two of us go, I have absolutely no doubts. And I love living here with you, even if the water in the shower takes forever to heat up- and honestly, I don’t even think I’d like living in my old place without Rose. I spent enough time in my life alone. I want to be here,   
with you. Like I said, I’m just feeling sentimental.” 

“I just don’t want you to have any regrets.” 

“I never could, when it comes to us.” She kissed the top of his head as she tied off the third braid, and moved to the last one. “And I promise I won’t be lifting. But I want my couch blanket. And I keep forgetting to grab my bathrobe.” 

“Your couch blanket is the awful one with the reindeer on it?” 

“And don’t forget the multicolored lights!” 

“And you cant use one of the blankets I have here why?” 

“Because that blanket is the perfect size, and it’s just the right amount of fluffy without leaving annoying fuzzies all over everything and I love it!” Rey said defensively. “And your throw blankets are all gray. Honestly Ben, it’s like you lived a monochrome life before you met me.” 

“Pretty much.” As she secured the last elastic, he hauled himself up to sit beside her on the couch. 

“Do you already hate having me here, cluttering up your immaculate penthouse with my colorful shenanigans?” She bit her lip as she waited for his reply. 

“I could never hate having you here.” He squeezed her hand gently. “And you’re not cluttering up my penthouse, you’re making this place your home. Our home. Why can’t there be a designated spot for your colorful mugs next to the matched set I bought but barely use? Why shouldn’t we have black furniture and a green rug and whatever else you want to have in your space? If we like it, how is it clutter?”

“I guess that’s true.” She nodded and leaned to rest her head on his shoulder. “For the record, I love being here with you and all your monochrome everything.”

“And I love having you here with all of your, What did you call it? Colorful shenanigans?” She laughed as he kissed her. “Alright. I should really get going. Promise me you won’t lift anything heavy?”

“I promise. Nothing heavier than a bathrobe.” She nodded. 

“I’m not sure when I’ll be home. I hope it’s before midnight, but that seems unlikely.” He sighed. “Last time it ran until three in the morning. Hux passed out once because he over heated in his mask.”

“Well, I’d say I’d wait up for you, but I sincerely doubt I’m even capable of being up past midnight anymore. But it’s possible I’ll be awake when you get back since I have to pee all the time.” She mused. “So I might see you tonight.” 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.” He kissed her forehead. “Hey- why don’t you see if Rose is free tonight? Didn’t the two of you want to have a movie night?” 

“Oh- that’s a good idea, actually. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it.” Rey smiled as she shot Rose and Kaydel a quick text. 

“Alright, I’m out of here. I love you.” 

“Love you too!” She called over her shoulder as the elevator door closed behind him. Her phone buzzed almost immediately. 

**Rose  
Movie night sounds great! Finn has to work the night shift anyways!**

**Kaydel Co  
I could get behind a girls night- Frozen margs? We can make you a virgin one, Rey Rey!**

**Rose  
Oooh, that sounds good! And popcorn!  
…  
Oh! And redvines. Can’t have movie night without Redvines. **

**Rey  
I could go for some powdered mini donuts. **

**Kaydel  
So it sounds like what I’m hearing is we need to get together, go on a snack run, and then settle in for movie night? **

**Rose  
YES!**

**Rey  
Hey, you guys, want to have it in the old apartment? For old times sake? Since we’ll be moved out in like, two weeks? **

**Rose  
Aw, I love that! One last hurrah for the girls place!**

**Kaydel  
Sounds good- Poe said I could take the car tonight, So I’ll grab Rey, Then we’ll head to get you Rose, then snacks, then apartment?**

**Rey  
Sounds great, Kay!**

**Rose  
Roger roger! **

**Kay  
Cool- Rey, I’m heading out in five so I’ll see you in like fifteen?**

**Rey  
Sounds good!**

**Rose  
Yay girls night!  
**

…  
“Okay, How much better is this now that we can afford to buy name brand snacks?” Rose grinned as they trudged up the old stairs to the apartment, arms laden with bags of snacks. Rey had been given the lightest one, containing bags of popcorn and potato chips, despite her insistence that she could carry more. 

“Honestly, I can’t taste a difference between name brands and knockoffs.” Rey shrugged. 

“Your palate is dismal.” Kay said with her classic deadpan humor. 

“Make fun of me all you want, the extra dollar makes all the difference!” Rose insisted. The laughter on Rey’s lips died as she reached the top of the steps, and held up a hand to stop the others. There was a man waiting outside the door of their apartment- she didn’t recognize him. She glanced to Rose and Kay with a raised eyebrow, and they both gave minute shakes of their heads. The man turned to face them, and without thinking Rey took a step back. 

She didn’t register Rose’s scream or the hands that attempted to catch her as she tumbled down the stairs. All she could think to do was curl her body around her stomach, to protect her baby as well as she could before she hit her head and everything was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the return of the angst there at the end- it had to happen some time in order for there to be actual plot and not just fluff (Not that I object to chapters full of fluff, obviously) but I promise a happy ending, and also, Mild spoiler, no miscarriage!


	21. Everybody's Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Even if she couldn’t open her eyes, she was suddenly hyper aware of every inch of her body. Her shoulder hurt like hell, the side of her face was numb, and she couldn’t feel her left hand at all. The stairs. She’d fallen down the stairs at her apartment after they'd seen the man lingering outside. 
> 
> _“Come on little guy, please, please do something.”_ She waited what felt like an eternity, and even the pain didn’t distract her from the fact that she felt nothing coming from the baby who’d been so wiggly since she’d first felt him move. Her throat constricted and a crushing weight landed on her chest- if the baby had died because of this, she would never forgive herself. She wouldn’t be able to face Ben again either, not after she killed… the thought was impossible to complete- she loved their baby so much, from the moment of its conception and the fact that a single moment of stupidity on her part could’ve killed it before it even really had the chance to live…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Your response to the last chapter blew me away- I wanted to post early, but I just couldn't get it done fast enough! Sorry to have left it on such a nasty cliff hanger, but here we go! Get ready for a lot of plot and information mixed in with a fair amount of fluff, because if there's no fluff, did I even write it?

The beeping was annoying. 

Had Ben changed their alarm tone on purpose? Because this one was awful- and why wasn’t he shutting it off? 

She felt wretched. Her whole body felt sore, her limbs felt like lead, and she couldn’t pry her eyes open. The only explanation she could think of was that she was coming down with some sort of terrible flu, and Maker she hoped that it didn’t affect the baby. 

_The baby. Affect the baby._

Even if she couldn’t open her eyes, she was suddenly hyper aware of every inch of her body. Her shoulder hurt like hell, the side of her face was numb, and she couldn’t feel her left hand at all. The stairs. She’d fallen down the stairs at her apartment after they'd seen the man lingering outside. 

_“Come on little guy, please, please do something.”_ She waited what felt like an eternity, and even the pain didn’t distract her from the fact that she felt nothing coming from the baby who’d been so wiggly since she’d first felt him move. Her throat constricted and a crushing weight landed on her chest- if the baby had died because of this, she would never forgive herself. She wouldn’t be able to face Ben again either, not after she killed… the thought was impossible to complete- she loved their baby so much, from the moment of its conception and the fact that a single moment of stupidity on her part could’ve killed it before it even really had the chance to live…

“I don’t care how you do it, Han!” Leia’s voice cut through her turmoil. She tried to open her eyes again, to open her lips to speak to her, because surely Leia Organa would know what was going on, but she couldn’t make anything work: “He has to get his ass over here immediately!” The gaps in conversation led her to believe she was on the phone, and she so wished to be privy to the other end of the conversation. They had to be talking about Ben, right? Ben had to be there with her- he always protected her, made her feel safe- he had to be with her. “Finn, Finn is the one who worked there….I’ll have Rose send you his number- I’m sure he could tell you, but I doubt he’d still have keys- oh, you have Chewie with you? Then you don’t need keys...of course I have, Han! The hospital called him, since he’s her emergency contact, I called, so did Rose and Kay, one of us has been calling him at all times, I tried his assistant Mitka, I even put in a call to the studio number, but it’s closed for a special event...uh huh… Han Solo, I am a United States Senator and possible Presidential candidate. I wouldn’t condone you breaking into a building if there was a way around it, but there’s not! Our son needs to be here with his fiancée...no, they haven’t told me anything. Apparently the family only rule applies to us too….no, she’s still sleeping...be careful, out there Nerfherder...I know...goodbye.” Leia let out a heavy sigh, and Rey felt a hand gently brushing the hair off of her face. “I’ll braid it back for you once I make sure it won’t pull your stitches. Rest easy, dear one. Mama Leia is watching over you. I won’t let anything get to you, not while I’m here.” 

It was hard to stay awake- her mind felt cloudy and she was so tired and so sore...she found herself drifting off to sleep to the sound of Leia’s quiet singing.   
…

When she woke up she still couldn’t seem to make her limbs or her eyes cooperate, They felt so heavy. But she was extremely aware of a large hand cupping her right hand, oddly cold, but strong and calloused. She honed in on the sound of breathing. Ben’s breathing- after all of the days and nights she’d spent with him, she would recognize it anywhere. 

“Why hasn’t she woken up?” Ben asked, his voice hoarse. 

“She hit her head.” Kay replied. She wondered if Rose was there too, if they’d come to the hospital with her and refused to go. “We tried to catch her, but it all happened so fast.”

“I know.” The pressure on her right hand increased a bit, and she felt the press of his lips against her skin, so warm in the stark cold of the hospital. “I don’t blame either of you. What happened, with the man?”

“He vanished, just kriffing disappeared like a ghost.” Kay grumbled. “We followed Rey down the stairs and Rose called the paramedics, and I went back up to find him, and he was gone.”

“How the hell did he get out?”

“I’m guessing he went up a few floors to the fire escape window. Maybe I should’ve gone after him, but Rose was calling me to come back to help her with Rey and I...” There was the sound of nails tapping against plastic- Kay’s nervous twitch. “The thing is, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d been outside of their apartment, but all he did was look at us and Rey took a step back and...why would he run?”

“Just because he hadn’t done something wrong doesn’t mean he wasn’t planning to do something wrong.” Ben growled. “What did he look like?”

“It’s hard to say- he was wearing a hood, pulled way far forward- it cast a shadow on his face.”

“And he was just standing outside of the girls apartment?”

“Yeah. Just waiting, it seemed like.” There was a heavy silence. “Do you think this has to do with the unknown caller?”

“I can’t imagine it doesn’t.”

“I’m sorry, Ben.” Kay’s voice cracked, and Rey wanted to reach out to her. Kay was always so strong- for something to make her cry…

“For what? It’s not your fault. It was an accident, and if I blame anyone it’s whoever this...guy is.”

“But I brought her there- we all knew about the sketchy calls and we should’ve been more cautious. I should’ve insisted we go to your place for movie night.”

“She would’ve wanted to go there with or without you guys. It was part of her plan for the night. She...she wanted her Christmas blanket.” Ben whispered. 

“I’ll have Poe get it before he comes back here. Make it feel a little more homey.” 

“Thanks, Kaydel. Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” 

“I mean for calling my parents to get them here when I couldn’t be- and for staying with her this whole time. Thank you.” 

“She’s one of my girls. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for one of my girls. I’m going to go grab coffee, do you want anything?”

“Black tea, if you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all...are you in a lot of trouble with the studio?”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now. I don’t even want to think about it.” 

“Okay. I’ll be back in a little while- will you be okay alone?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” The door opened and shut. There was a dip at the side of the mattress, and she felt the press of Ben’s lips against her belly- which had to be a good sign, didn’t it? “Sweetheart? Can you hear me? I’m here with you. I- I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner. I didn’t have my phone- I wasn’t allowed to have it; and Mitka didn’t tell me...please, please wake up. I can’t do this without you. I know they told me you’re going to be alright- but I won’t believe them until I see your eyes, your beautiful eyes. So please, just, please, Be with me, sweetheart. Be with me.” 

….

When she finally managed to pry her eyes open she had to close them almost immediately, blinking away the dryness and the light. 

“Rey?!” Ben’s grip on her hand tightened. “Rey, sweetheart; I know you just opened your eyes, please, are you awake?” She nodded slowly. “Can you open your eyes for me? I’m sorry I had the lamp on- it must have been bright- I’ll shut it off now.” She forced her eyes open again and blinked to focus in on the shape of Ben at her side. “Thank the maker.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, and she felt the wet splat of a tear land on her knuckle. 

“Baby?” She asked, her voice hoarse. “Baby?”

“She’s okay, Rey. She’s okay.” Ben assured her, a small grin on his face. 

“S-she?” She repeated, her heart speeding. Ben nodded, and kissed her hand again before he grabbed a cup with a straw to hold to her lips. She drank thirstily, the cool water easing the ache in her throat. “You’re sure?”

“The doctor let it slip after your ultrasound- she showed me the images. Our little girl is okay, Rey. She’s completely healthy.” He set the cup aside, and knelt by the bed as sobs started to wreck her body. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this- I wish it could’ve been a better memory for you, but-“

“D-don’t. I’m just so relieved- if anything had happened to her-“

“You don’t have to worry about that, okay? She’s fine.” He held her right hand, and she looked down at her own body for the first time. “You scared us all to death, you know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Now you don’t.” He smirked. “It was an accident. And it could be a lot worse than a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist, and a mild concussion.” 

“The baby is really okay?” She asked nervously. 

“She’s perfect, sweetheart. They said they’d do another ultrasound when you were awake.”

“How long was I asleep?” 

“Two days.” Her jaw went slack. “Hold on, I’m supposed to call for your nurse now that you’re awake- I got distracted.” 

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“I could hear some of the stuff going on around me- I heard your mom on the phone with your dad, trying to get you here.” His mouth was a tight line. “What happened?”

“Rey, I...look, it’s a long story, and I promise you I’ll tell you every single word, but first things first I need to call in your nurse, and have them check on you, okay? We need to make sure that both of you are doing alright.” 

“Okay.” Rey nodded, eager to have an ultrasound- to see her baby- her daughter. “We’re having a girl?”

“We are.” He grinned as he hit the call button on the side of her bed. “A beautiful baby girl, who’s going to look just like you.”

“I hope she has hair like yours.” Rey smiled slightly, reaching for it on instinct, and then wincing. 

“Stay still there sweetheart.” He chuckled. “They couldn’t give you the strong painkillers, because of the baby.” 

“The baby girl.” Rey said, grinning despite the pain. 

“You’re not mad you lost the wager?”

“How could I be mad? I thought I’d lost the baby entirely- but I’m having a healthy daughter? That’s a kriffing miracle, Ben, and I’m so, so happy! I know the tears sort of contradict that idea, but I'm so relieved- so happy.” He bent down to rest press his lips to hers, carefully avoiding any other points of contact. “A baby girl.” 

“Our baby girl.”   
….

“You’re lucky, Miss Jackson.” Dr. Kalonia smiled as they finished her ultrasound. “That was quite the fall you took.”

“And she’s really okay?” Rey repeated for what felt like the millionth time since she’d woken. 

“She’s healthy as a horse, Dear. No need to worry about her- you take care of yourself now, mama.”

“I will- thank you, doctor.” Rey nodded. She felt the rigidity melt from her body as the doctor departed, and she lifted Ben’s hand to her lips. 

“I told you she was okay.” 

“You know I had to see it for myself.”

“I know.” He chuckled. “How do you feel?”

“Like I just fell down a flight of stairs.” He looked at her blankly. “Sorry- that was probably too soon.” 

“Maybe a little.” She kissed his knuckles in apology. “You’re not in too much pain?”

“No- right now everything is just a dull ache. Nothing too bad.” She assured him. “I’m made of pretty strong stuff.”

“I remember.” His thumb gently traced the outline of her lip. “My parents will be back in about an hour, to sit with you.”

“Why? Where will you be?” She asked anxiously.

“I have some...business, with the First Order.”

“Ben, what’s going on?” 

“I’m in trouble, with Snoke. He’s claiming I purposefully broke my contract three days ago.” 

“Did you?” 

“Technically.” 

“What happened exactly?” She squeezed his hand, and he let out a long sigh. 

“I was at the launch party- it was the same sort of thing as always, endless and stifling in the mask- and then I saw my dad- my kriffing dad there, with my uncle Chewie, and I just- I panicked. I knew that if he was there, something had to be wrong, with you, or my mother, and I just bolted to him without even thinking of the consequences. Jumped right out of a picture with a guest too, right to my father- I don’t even understand how he got in; there was so much security, but I guess once a smuggler, always a smuggler.” Ben smirked a little at the mention of his fathers past. “He told me you were hurt, he gave me the name of a hospital. That’s all he had time to say before I started to leave- I got halfway down the hall to the door before Snoke and his body guards caught up to me. He asked what I thought I was doing, so I told him my fiancée was injured and needed me, and he said you would still be injured when the event had finished, head injuries don’t heal that fast and I lost it. I punched him in the face.” 

“You what?!” Rey gasped, eyes flickering to his knuckles, and noting for the first time the yellowing bruises on them.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I don’t necessarily regret it, but I shouldn’t have done it. He told me I’d regret it, and ordered me back into the party- I took off my mask, and shattered it against a wall- but the noise had drawn onlookers from the party- the paparazzi could see in through the front door. Everyone saw my face, Rey. It’s everywhere.” 

“Ben…” She said softly, tracing his knuckles with her thumb. 

“It didn’t take long for them to figure it out. People might not have seen Ben Solo connected with Leia Organa or Luke Skywalker in years, but my face is distinctive enough, by the next morning everyone knew Ben Solo was Kylo Ren.” 

“Are you okay?” He arched a brow at her, his eyes quickly scanning her injured body. “Yes, I’m aware of the fact that I’m physically not okay, but this is...Ben, this is huge! Are you okay?”

“I’m better now that you’re awake and talking.” 

“But?”

“I don’t know. It’s- I threw my phone out the window after the first day- I was getting so many calls, and texts and notifications about articles, I couldn’t handle it.”

“Ben, isn’t it dangerous to throw your phone where someone else can find it?! Especially now!” She scoffed. 

“Yes. Again, I wasn’t thinking clearly. Thank the Maker Poe and Finn went out to look for it after I threw it. Finn found it. It’s completely useless, but it’s in my possession again.” 

“Ben, I thought you had your temper under control…” She whispered.

“Usually I do- but when I heard you were hurt, it’s like something broke inside of me. I had to find you, and I couldn’t let anything stop me, and then I couldn’t let anything distract me or take me away from you.” He explained slowly, and then he pressed his plush lips together tightly. “I’m trying to be rational about this, about all of it, but when Kaydel and Rose told me about the man, all I wanted to do was hunt him down, even knowing he didn’t lay a hand on you- but I knew you wouldn’t want me to leave your side, so I didn’t. Not for a minute.” 

“Thank you.” She lifted his hand to her cheek again, and nuzzled into his palm. “Thank you for staying with me.”

“I promised you forever.” He smiled tightly. “I wasn’t going to give up so easily.”

“There’s my big stubborn strong caveman.” She said, her heart warming with pure affection. His smile grew a bit more easy as she smiled at him. “What’s Snoke going to do?”

“I don’t know. Sue me for breach of contract, maybe. Or for punching him in the face. He’ll be furious people know who I am. I think he was saving that last big reveal for the last concert we played, and I spoiled it.” 

“What parts of your contract did you break exactly?” 

“Leaving a scheduled appearance, removing my mask outside of a dressing room, defiance of a direct instruction by Snoke. There was nothing specific in the contract that said I couldn’t punch him in the face, but we all know that’s generally frowned upon.” He grimaced. “I’m glad I didn’t fight him about the song. I can only imagine how much worse this would be if I’d already used up any good grace the studio had for me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“My parents lawyer is already ready to stand for me. Shes the best lawyer I’ve ever seen- certainly more qualified than anyone on the First Order payroll. But I’m hoping this won’t come to a lawsuit. If I can just convince Snoke to let me ride out the remainder of the contract…” 

“And if he wants to sue?”

“Then he’ll have to face Amilyn Holdo in court, and that’s not something I’d wish on anyone.” 

“But Ben, if he-“

“I can’t keep going over ifs and buts, Rey. I’ve been doing that for three days, and honestly, Snoke is insane enough that anything I can even imagine is probably wrong.” 

“How are Gwen and Armitage handling it?” 

“As well as they can. They stopped by on the second day and we talked for a bit. They understand why I did what I did; they laughed about me decking Snoke. They’ll stand with me no matter what. But I’d hate for them to get dragged into this so close to the end. The only person in the band who doesn’t stand to lose something here is Savage, but I’m sure hes upset. If I hadn’t destroyed my phone, I’d have texted him. The bottom line here is that I have no idea what is going to happen today.”

“It’ll be okay.” Rey said with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “No matter what happens, we can figure it out. I know we can.” 

“We will.” He smiled softly. “I just didn’t want you involved in any of this. After you found the bugs in the house, I knew it was too much to hope that he wouldn’t know about you, but he will try to get to you to get to me, and it’s not that I think you can’t hold your own against him, but he’s a sadistic bastard and I...I just never wanted him anywhere near you.” 

“I’ll be okay, Ben. What’s he going to do to me? I already fell down the stairs on my own.” Her attempt at levity landed flat as his face went blank. “I’m sorry, I know, it’s too soon-“

“Snoke usually has eight body guards.” 

“Seems a bit overkill-“

“He has a lot of enemies, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make.” He reached for her phone, now charged and sitting on the table. 

“What’s going on?” She asked as she unlocked it for him. 

“He always has eight personal guards, thugs, really, any time he makes a public appearance.” His eyes flickered as he typed into the phone. She watched as his nostrils flared and his dark eyes narrowed. 

“And?” She prompted, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. He held up the phone to show her the image he’d been looking at- a gritty security camera image, but Ben’s face was clearly on display, his mask shattered in the back ground. One tall, thin bald man, and seven figures surrounding him, moving towards Ben- 

“There were only seven with him that night.” 

“Are you sure, Ben?” He took the phone back and scrolled to a second image, taken through the glass front door of First Order records, Ben, Snoke, and seven men. He scrolled again, to a photo taken from behind them, all but the top of Ben’s head blocked as he faced a total of eight figures including Snoke in a gold brocade blazer. “How the Kriff did you get away after you punched him in the face?”

“My dad and Chewie came to my aid. Then people started freaking out- it sort of broke into a brawl. I just slipped out.” 

“Your dad and Chewie are okay?” 

“A little scuffed up, but they’re fine.” He assured her as his eyes went back to the photograph. “Snoke sent one of them after you. I know he did.” 

“Ben, not to say I don’t think he would, but couldn’t it be a coincidence?” She asked, reaching up to cup his cheek with her unbandaged hand. 

“I can’t believe it’s a coincidence, Rey. Say he managed to get a bug into the apartment somehow, he would’ve known that you planned on going back to your old place- then there were only seven guards.” 

“But Ben, I-“

“How did he know about your head injury, Rey?” She felt her jaw go slack as he looked intently at the stitches on her forehead. “When I said you were injured, he specifically said “head injuries don’t heal that quickly” after I said you were hurt. I didn’t know how you’d been hurt, my father hadn’t said it aloud, so how did he know?” He reaches up to trace his finger under the shape of the stitches. “It should have occurred to me earlier, but by the time I was here with you, and actually knew what was wrong, so much had happened, and I was just so worried about you that I didn’t even stop to think it was strange- but how could he possibly have known about your head injury before I did unless he received a report back? How would anyone have reported it unless they were there?”

“W-why though?” She stammered, her throat suddenly feeling dry again. “What did I do?” He grabbed the cup and held it to her lips again.

“He...over the last few years, he’s mentioned that he saw a change in me, from the angry, raw talent he’d discovered into something too soft. Light. He told me to be careful who I let influence me.” He pursed his mouth for a moment. She watched him as she sipped the water, noting the way his knuckles were nearly white where he gripped the plastic handle of the cup. “He was getting more and more critical- I tried to maintain the persona in front of him, to be Kylo Ren, be who he made me be. But I’m not the same angry kid he found. I’m not writing the dark, brash music as well, I’m protesting if he tries to push anyone too far. I just object to recording sessions that last for days on end. I’m writing love songs in my notebook. And I think he finally figured out why.”

“You can’t credit me with who you are, Ben.” She wrapped her hand around his, smoothing her fingertips over his knuckles. 

“Maybe not, but you’re the one who pulled me back from the edge when I was all too willing to fall into the darkness if it meant I could achieve half of the greatness of my grandfather. But you reminded me that there were things that were more important.” He said gruffly. “I used to think my grandfather got weak at the end. That the cancer he developed made him foolish and sentimental. The way He dissolved “The Sith” right when they were on the verge of greatness to go try to reconnect with his estranged children? Snoke told me it was weakness- that my Uncle Luke manipulated a poor dying man because he didn’t want to live in his own fathers shadow. But I can see it clearly now, how he could make the choice to abandon his career for someone. I’d do the same for you in a heartbeat.”

“I’d never ask you to give up your music, Ben.”

“I know that. But about three weeks ago, I officially declined Snoke’s offer to extend my contract. He wasn’t happy.” He exhaled sharply. “That’s about the time the unknown calls started on your phone.”

“I...I just can’t believe-“

“Snoke is a twisted bastard who looks at the world in terms of how much he can make from it. Do you know why my grandfather left his first band? Why he dissolved the Jedi?” 

“I mean, I’ve heard the same rumors that always have circulated. But you never wanted to talk about him after we met, so I tried not to pry.” 

“Palpatine, the guy that founded Empire records and ran it until it went bankrupt when the Sith broke up, he worked for the Jedi’s label before he founded the Empire. It was called Republic Records- when my grandmother Padme died a few days after giving birth, my grandfather fell into a depression, and then the Jedi noticed that he was acting strangely.” Ben let out a shaky exhale. “It turned out Palpatine had gotten him hooked on spice. Told him it would numb the pain, make him feel better. But it made him violent, unstable. He almost killed Mace, the Jedi drummer when he pushed him out a window while he was high off his ass. He cut ties with the band that had been like a second family to him, and followed Palpatine who promised him all the spice he’d ever need if he stayed with him.” 

“Ben, that’s awful- I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t- I...I’m not finished.” Ben cleared his throat. “So Palpatine obviously was a monster- but he created something huge. Empire was aptly named since it was basically the only record label putting out music for over a decade. You signed with the Empire, or you didn’t get to release music. He had everything under his thumb until “The Rebellion” finally broke through with my Uncle Luke- but that’s not the point I’m trying to make right now. Snoke was Palpatine’s right hand man for a decade. Everything he knows, he learned from Palpatine. And from Palpatine’s fall, he learned how to avoid getting caught. Pay offs, bribes, a few quick murders here and there. And rigid control over his talent. I didn’t know, when I was younger- my parents didn’t tell me that Anakin Skywalker And Darth Vader were the same man. I just assumed Anakin killed himself after Padme died or something, but Snoke told me the truth. And then I told the world the truth. But that’s what he wanted. I was his puppet for almost a decade, until you came and broke down all of my walls.”

“Ben...this is...this is a lot.” She sighed heavily. His eyes grew panicked, almost glassy, and she squeezed his hand tightly. “Hey. I already knew how much Snoke used to control you. I’m not going to leave you because of your grandfather’s story, okay? It’s just a lot to take in.” 

“I know. And I’m sorry to be springing this on you, here of all places, but I needed you to understand exactly what we’re up against when I say it’s going to be a fight against Snoke.” 

“I understand. And I don’t care.” She said firmly. “I love you, Ben Solo. I’m here with you. Always.” He kissed the hand He held, his lips lingering on her skin. 

“I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.” He promised. “If he even tried, Ill-“

“You won’t do anything stupid, will you son?” Leia asked as she pushed back the curtain that blocked Rey’s bed from the door. 

“Mother- how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough, kid.” Han sighed. “And your mother is right. Don’t do anything that will make Amilyn’s job harder. Please.” 

“Speaking of, Ami will meet you at First Order. She thought it best you went in with legal representation, and I have to agree with her.” Leia explained. “And we have Artoo and Bebe waiting for you by the elevator.”

“Is that necessary?” Ben gritted out.

“Well since the press followed your car here and has been camping out looking for any sign of you for days, I’d say Yes, completely necessary Benjamin.” Leia’s tone left no room for argument. She arched her brow as if daring him to try. 

“Fine.” He grumbled. He pressed another kiss to Rey’s hand, and then to her lips. “I’ll be back as soon as I can sweetheart.”

“I’ll be here...for at least two more days.” Rey smiled at him. “You be careful, okay?”

“I promise. You think of some baby names while I’m gone. We’ll have to choose one for her sooner than later.” He suggested with the soft sort of smile he reserved for any mention of their baby. 

“Will do.” She laughed, and with one more kiss he left.

“How are you feeling kid?” Han asked as he sunk into an armchair in the corner of the room. 

“Not great. But not too shabby, all things considered.” She shrugged with just her right shoulder, since her left still didn’t want to cooperate. 

“Now I don’t want to change subjects or sound insensitive to you, dear, but did my son just say “her”?” Leia asked, her eyes flickering to Rey’s belly.

“He did...Han, Leia, you’re having a granddaughter!” Rey grinned as she watched Han and Leia’s faces break into expressions of pure joy. 

“Maker, that’s terrific! Leia told me it was going to be a girl. Looks like The kid knew better than to try to prove her wrong.” Han chuckled. 

“She wouldn’t dare.” Rey nodded seriously. 

“Oh I can’t wait to shop for a baby girl- I never got to, except for gifts for other friends of course, but now I get to buy things for my own granddaughter!” Leia was beaming brilliantly as she took Han’s hand in her own; in moments like this Rey could almost picture Han and Leia looking exactly as they had decades ago when they first met and Han was a scruffy musician and smuggler while Leia was a young, prim, beautiful, senators daughter. Their eyes still glowed with adoration when they looked at each other here and now, and though Rey knew of a fair share of the marital issues they’d faced, in the end, they’d always managed to stay together. 

The resolve she’d had in her heart, to stand by Ben’s side no matter what came next grew tenfold. No matter what happened, she and Ben would be able to weather the storm. No matter what happened she would be right by his side, supporting him, loving him. 

If Ben really was right and Snoke was out to get her, let him try. She’d be ready next time. 

She’d finally found a family, and she’d kill before anyone tore it apart.


	22. The Name Of The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“A family home.” She repeated, her lips curling into a smile. “But what about your penthouse?”
> 
> “We could sublet it, or sell it. Or keep it as a second home. Whatever we wanted to do.” 
> 
> “And we could afford a house? Even with legal fees for whatever battle is coming with Snoke?”
> 
> “We can.” He cleared his throat. “We should actually probably sit down and look at our finances together, especially since you’re the one to inherit and manage my estate if anything happens to me.”
> 
> “I am?” She gaped at him.
> 
> “Of course you are- you’re the mother of my child. You’re going to be my wife. Everything I have is already yours.” He said it as if it was so simple. 
> 
> “But that’s- Ben you’ve got to be worth, what? A solid five million at least?” She guessed, and his lips curled back into that infuriatingly sexy smirk. 
> 
> “At least.” 
> 
> “Okay, What does that mean?” "
> 
> A stay at Han and Leia's includes cookies, trying to choose a name, and Rey finding out just how much money Ben Solo actually has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all you beautiful people! I will not lie, I've been having a really hard time finding motivation to write right now, but your comments and kudos honestly are giving me life right now! I hope you enjoy this Wednesday update, and I'll see you again on Sunday!

“Is this fully necessary?” Ben asked as he placed the second suitcase in the back of the car. 

“Ben, you know they’re just looking after our best interests.” Rey said evenly from her spot in the front seat. Having just been released that morning from the hospital she’d been forbidden to help with any loading or packing of any kind. The back door closed, and he climbed into the drivers seat with a heavy sigh. 

“Maybe so, but no thirty one year old man wants to move back in with his parents.”

“It’s only temporary, Ben. It’s less like moving in with them, more like a little vacation.” She tried, and he gave her a sideways glance. “It’s just a precaution, Ben.” 

“I know. You’re right. And they were right- their house is safer than a hotel, all things considered.” He grumbled, gripping the steering wheel a bit more tightly than necessary.

“Do you really think Snoke would try anything now?” She laid her good hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I thought you said Amilyn scared him pretty good.”

“It’s not so much that I think he’d try something as it is I’m pretty sure he’s got another bug in the penthouse, and besides the obvious reasons It bothers me, it would be pretty difficult to plan legal strategies if Snoke was always listening in.” 

“Fair point. It wont be so bad, Ben.” She assured him again, her fingers trailing gently along his shoulder. “Your parents' house is huge, it’s not like we’ll be right on top of eachother. And you’ll have to go for the Europe tour soon, so long as that’s still happening.” 

“I’m sure it will. Cancelling would create too many revenue losses for First Order and Snoke won’t have that.” He glanced at her, a puff of air passing through his lips as he took her hand from his shoulder and twined their fingers together before resting their hands on his thigh. “I don’t want to go. Not if I cant take you with me.” 

“With the bedrest order I’m on for the next few weeks, I’d be a pretty dismal traveling companion.” She half smiled. “And I’ll stay with your parents while you're gone. Your mom offered, and I know you didn’t like the idea of me being alone while you’re away. I didn’t like it much myself. I’ll be fine, Ben. I’m more worried about you.” He sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. The last week had been rough on him as suddenly he was thrown back into the spotlight, paparazzi constantly tailing him, every magazine, paper, news and radio station trying to reach him for an interview or a statement at the very least. It was only by some small miracle no one had figured out the location of their penthouse- they’d already had to switch up their cars, as the one he’d driven from the studio to the hospital was too easily recognized now. “How does Snoke see this working now that the world knows who you are? Wasn’t part of the selling point of your band the mystery?”

“Yes, and no. The mystery was a draw, but people do actually like the music, you know.” He frowned. 

“Of course they do, you’re very talented musicians! I didn’t mean that people only listened to try to figure out who you were.” 

“I know. I’m sorry for snapping- it’s been...It’s been a tense week.” He exhaled. She squeezed his hand, hoping the gesture would communicate that she wasn’t angry. “I’m not a hundred percent sure what Snoke’s grand plan is- everything is going through Holdo right now, and honestly it’s a relief to have another degree of separation from the First Order. But the last proposal included a television tell all, which Holdo shot down. I think she got him to agree to a photoshoot and an article, which is better.” 

“But what about the rest of the Knights? Do they keep secret, or?” 

“I don’t think so. Whatever grand plan Snoke had for us revealing our faces is just going to be bumped up.”

“Strike while the iron’s hot, and all that?” Ben smirked at her expression of choice, and she was glad he could still find it in himself to be amused by her. 

“And all that.” He agreed. “Amilyn says that our contracts are full of loopholes and pitfalls, basically they were written to screw us over when we were young and naive. But Snoke isn’t used to facing someone like Amilyn. She’s not afraid to use his own traps against him. And she’s too high profile to be taken out without thorough investigation, and he can’t risk that with all of the skeletons in his closet.” 

“So she’s got him pinned against the wall?” 

“It looks that way right now, but he’s a slippery bastard. He’ll try to find some way to get what he wants, and he won’t care who he has to hurt to get it.” 

“He won’t get you, Ben.” She said firmly. 

“Are you going to stop him yourself?” He asked, arching a brow at her. 

“With my bare hands if I have to.” She grinned. “Well, I guess it would be more like single handedly right now, since one of my fists is out of commission for the time being.” 

“Well, Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that then.”

“We just have to have faith in your lawyer, Ben. From what you and your parents have told me, Amilyn Holdo is a force to be reckoned with, and I’m choosing to believe she’ll find a way to fix this.” 

“I’m sorry about all of this. This should be the happiest time of our lives, newly engaged and expecting a baby together- It’s my fault there’s this massive shadow over everything. You deserve better.” His frown deepened, and if he hadn’t been driving she’d have kissed the expression right off his face. 

“Ben, this is still the happiest time of my life.” He scoffed. “No, it is! Honestly, it is.Granted, the first eighteen years of my life were absolute rubbish, so it’s not hard to beat those, but I have never been so happy as I have been these past months with you. As your girlfriend, your partner, your fiancee. Getting to wake up with you in the mornings and kiss you any time I want- Getting to look in the mirror and see the new changes in my figure almost every single day? It’s paradise, Ben.”

“Paradise, huh?” His smile was soft, hopeful. She pulled the hand she still held to her lips, and then let it rest over her heart. 

“Paradise.” She nodded. “And yes, maybe things aren’t super great right now, but we’ll get through it. It’s not going to be easy, I know that. But I also know that we’re together in this. In everything. And if we’re together, I’m not really afraid of anything, Ben. Being with you gives me hope for the future. Hope that everything will be better.” She lowered his hand to the swell of her belly with a smile on her face. “And she makes me feel like everything will be better.” 

“I want the world to be perfect for her.” He admitted, his voice catching. He kept his eyes fixed on the road, and one hand on the steering wheel, but she could tell how much he wanted to look at her. To hold her. 

“Well, so long as we love her and never give up on her, I’d say we’re off to a pretty good start.” She twined their fingers again, this time resting their hands on her own leg.

“You know, I think you’re right.” 

“I know I am.” He squeezed her fingers with his own. “We’ll get the whole mess with your contract and everything ironed out. You’ll see. And by the time she’s here, it won’t even matter any more.” 

“I hope you’re right, Rey. Maker, I really hope you’re right.” 

“Me too, Ben. Me too.” 

….

“Mia?” 

“No. Willow?”

“Mmm. No.” Rey shook her head as she looked down at her belly. The hem of her large blue sweatshirt was rolled up to expose it to them as they continued their little venture into name selection. They’d come up with a system- any name they both agreed was worth consideration would be written into the little pink notebook Leia had given her at the hospital in Ben’s neat handwriting, but so far it had been difficult. “Annie?”

“As in little orphan?” He asked, looking up from where he was sprawled across the bed on the ground floor guest room of his parents house. 

“As in “Annie’s Song” jerk.” She huffed. “But if you hate it-“

“No, I don’t hate it- I don’t.” He assured her. “Although Ani is what my grandmother called my grandfather and we did agree no family names.” 

“I feel like you hate it and you’re just trying to come up with an excuse not to use it without saying no.” She frowned. 

“I don’t hate it.” He wrote it in the notebook, and held it up for her perusal. “See?”

“Why is this so hard?!” She threw her good arm over her eyes. “She’s our baby and we can name her whatever we want to; so why is it so hard to choose a name?”

“Because we want to get it right?”

“That’s probably it.” She sighed. “Read me what we have so far.” 

“Lydia, Emmaline, Ella, Maisey, Channtelle, Annie.” 

“You’re kidding- that’s all we have so far?” 

“Yes.” 

“...can we take Maisey off?”

“That one was your suggestion to begin with!”

“Well it’s not her name!” He sighed as he put a scratch through the name. “I just feel like we’ve listed a thousand names each- there have to be more than six we agree on!”

“Technically five, since you took Maisey off the table.” She tossed a pillow at him, and he laughed. 

“It’s not funny, Ben! This is serious! This is our child’s name!” She pouted, but couldn’t stop a traitorous giggle from bursting through her lips. “Sophie?”

“Sophie Solo?” He asked, his nose wrinkling in distaste. 

“I forgot, you don’t like the double S.” Rey muttered. “Or anything that starts with B- which is unfortunate, because I quite like Beatrice.” 

“Having grown up with the initials BS I refuse to put a child through that sort of teasing at school!” He huffed indignantly. 

“Who dared to tease you? You’re a giant!” 

“I wasn’t always- until junior year of high school I was tall and skinny and shy. An easy target, with initials that stood for-“

“I already agreed to the ban on B.” Rey reminded him. “Even if Beatrice is a cute name.” 

“It is cute. But maybe it’s just not her name.” He said with a shrug. “Felicity?”

“Mmm. Felicity Solo.” She mused, running a hand over her belly. “I don’t hate it.” 

“I don’t want you to not hate our daughter's name, I want you to, I don’t know, like it at the very least.” He laughed. 

“Felicity. Lissy. Felicity.” She rested the name out and nodded. “I’d put that one up for consideration.” He smiled as he wrote it down. “Back to six. It’s probably for the best- if we came up with too long of a list we’d never be able to agree on a name.” 

“You’re probably right.” 

“Juliette?” 

“Oh, so when I suggest Ophelia it’s too Shakespearean, but Juliette, a much better known Shakespeare character is fine?” He asked as he pushed himself into a seated position. She held up her hands in mock surrender.

“Okay, you’re right, I withdraw the name from consideration...Astrid?” He shook his head. 

“Naomi?” 

“Didn’t you date a girl named Naomi?” She frowned. 

“Not seriously.” She arched a brow at him. “Alright, not Naomi then.” There was a soft knock on the door. 

“Come in!” Rey called, rolling her shirt back over her stomach. 

“Hey, I didn’t want to disrupt you two, but I was making tea, and I thought you might like some.” Leia said, poking her head through the door. 

“Oh, that sounds lovely- we’ll be right along-“

“No need for that.” Leia pushed the door open, revealing Han with a tray laden with two steaming mugs, and what looked like a plate of Leia’s snickerdoodle cookies. 

“Mom, dad, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble- we would’ve come to you.” Ben insisted. “You shouldn’t have to do extra work while we’re here- it’s not exactly like we’re guests come to visit.”

“Please, do you think we offer night time refreshments to our guests?” Han scoffed. “Your mother is just putting up a fuss because her only son and his pregnant fiancée are here with us.” 

“Han is the one who insisted on cookies.” Leia added, making the old man blush. 

“I’m glad he did- I could go for something sweet right about now!” Rey grinned. 

“What are you kids up to here?” Leia asked, her eyes drifting to the notebook Ben had left on the bed as he went to relieve his father of the tray. 

“We’re trying to find a name for Baby girl, but it’s not easy.” Rey explained. 

“Oh, I know. Picking a name is one of the most difficult parts of this whole thing. Other than the actual birthing.” Leia said with a smile. “Han and I had a fair share of fights while we were trying to settle on Ben’s name.” 

“How did you agree?” Rey asked. 

“In the end it just felt right. Of course, we didn’t know if he was a boy or a girl until he was born, but we managed to settle on a boys name and a girls name we liked before the big day.” Leia’s smile grew warmer and Han draped his arm around her shoulder. 

“Of course we didn’t have the Internet giving us hundreds of suggestions either.” Han added with a smile of his own. 

“Are we allowed to see the list?” Leia asked. Rey and Ben shared a quick glance. 

“You can see it, but don’t get too attached to anything on it. We can’t seem to make up our minds.” Ben said as he sat down next to Rey, situating the tray between them. 

“The one on the left is yours, Rey. I added a spoon of honey, that’s how you take it, right?” Leia asked hopefully. 

“That’s right, thank you, I’m surprised you remembered!” Rey grinned at her as Ben handed her the notebook. Han and Leia read through the list in silence, their eyes bright. 

“Well, looks like you guys have some good ones here.” Han said, his voice a little gruff. “A good start.” 

“Dad, are you crying?” Ben asked in disbelief.

“No- I’m not crying.” Han insisted. 

“He’s not crying, he’s just choked up!” Leia said with a fond little laugh. “These are beautiful names. Any one of them would be a great fit.” 

“But how can we be sure we’re choosing the right one?” Rey asked anxiously.

“You’ll know. And I know that’s a terrible answer to hear, but you will know when you’ve settled on the right one.” Leia grinned. “For instance, doesn’t he just seem like his name is Benjamin? Could you picture any other name for him?” Rey looked at the man at her side, in pajamas with fresh washed hair and bare feet. A warm feeling bubbled in her chest, and she smiled softly. 

“I couldn’t. He’s just Ben.” She said, and Leia let out a little hum of satisfaction at the acknowledgment. 

“And I knew that he was just Ben while he was still in my belly. You two will figure it out, but you’re not in a huge rush. You do have a few months.” 

“I know- I’d just like to start using her name instead of “baby girl” or “it” or “her”. Especially now that she can hear things outside of the womb- I want her to be able to connect with her name.” Rey explained, feeling a little silly. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.” Han smirked and cupped his hand over his mouth, as if he were about to reveal a secret. “Because there isn’t actually a wrong choice, kids.” 

“Thanks dad.” Ben smirked back at him, and Rey was struck by how alike father and son truly looked. It boded well for Ben in the future, since Han had aged very well. 

“Well, we just wanted to say goodnight and bring you your tea.” Leia said. “And I know it’s not under the best circumstances, but we are glad to have you kids staying with us for a little while.”

“Thank you, both of you for opening your home to us.” Rey said sincerely. Leia waved her hand in protest.

“You’re family, dear, you’ve always been welcome.” They bid each other goodnight, and Han and Leia headed upstairs to their own bedroom. Rey took her tea, now cool enough to drink, and sipped it while Ben grabbed a cookie and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. She laughed, sputtering into her tea. 

“What?” He asked, his mouth full.

“Okay Mr. I hate sweets. First Maz’s cake, now the snickerdoodles…” Rey teased. 

“They taste like the only good part of my childhood.” He shrugged, but the set of his shoulders was tense. She set down her mug, and reached over to smooth his damp hair out of his eyes. “I used to help her bake these on her rare days off when I was a little kid. I’d always taste the dough, and she’d scold me, but she was smiling so I always knew she wasn’t really mad. Then we’d eat them on the back patio with tea. If dad was home he’d push me on the swings. It was nice.”

“It sounds lovely.” She nodded. 

“What would you think of...never mind.” He blushed, and she furrowed her brow. 

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Ben, I already agreed to marry you, so I don’t know what else could be so nerve wracking for you to ask me. It’s making me nervous.” She withdrew her hand to smooth over her stomach, which was quickly becoming a nervous habit for her. 

“What would you think of looking for a house around here?” He asked. She blinked at him, tilting her head to the side. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I think it could be nice for us to put down some roots, To have a backyard for a swingset and a patio. Even being closer to my parents could be nice- not that they’re terribly far as it is, but still. This area is nice. Close enough to the city that we’d see our friends whenever we wanted to, far enough away that you can actually see the stars. You’d still be able to drive into the shop for work every day, of course.”

“You...want us to buy a house? A house house?” She asked slowly. 

“I do.” He nodded. “A family home.”

“A family home.” She repeated, her lips curling into a smile. “But what about your penthouse?”

“We could sublet it, or sell it. Or keep it as a second home. Whatever we wanted to do.” 

“And we could afford a house? Even with legal fees for whatever battle is coming with Snoke?”

“We can.” He cleared his throat. “We should actually probably sit down and look at our finances together, especially since you’re the one to inherit and manage my estate if anything happens to me.”

“I am?” She gaped at him.

“Of course you are- you’re the mother of my child. You’re going to be my wife. Everything I have is already yours.” He said it as if it was so simple. 

“But that’s- Ben you’ve got to be worth, what? A solid five million at least?” She guessed, and his lips curled back into that infuriatingly sexy smirk. 

“At least.” 

“Okay, What does that mean?” 

“Well, if you combine all of our assets, my savings and trust fund, inheritance from my mother’s adoptive parents and her biological parents, plus the earnings from The First Order I actually do keep, we’re closer to the hundred million mark.” He shrugged. Her jaw dropped again, her eyes widened as she stared at him, speechless. “You can’t be that shocked, knowing my family history.” 

“That- Ben, that’s like, a lot of money. So much. A ton.” She stammered. “I mean, I knew your grandma Padme was descended from royalty, and that your grandfather owned a lot of property that your mom sold after his death- not to mention the money he inherited from his mom’s music career- then your moms adoptive parents inheritance and your dads smuggling- your own career too, but I don’t think I ever really imagined such a sum in my mind. I don’t think I ever put it all together like that.” 

“To be fair, I haven’t touched much of the inheritance and trust fund money. I lived solely off of my earnings for a solid six years before I started the charitable giving.” 

“Ben. That’s an insane amount of money.” She repeated, unable to comprehend the sheer amount of money he actually had. 

“It is. Hence the charitable giving.”

“So when you say we can afford a house…”

“I mean you basically have your pick of any house you like.”

“Holy Kriff.” She whistled. 

“You really didn’t know?” He asked, his face genuinely surprised.

“I don’t know- I guess it makes sense- but I honestly didn’t ever stop to think “gee, I wonder exactly how much money Ben has to his name” because it never really mattered to me.” 

“You’ve never once tried to use me for my money. It’s one of the reasons I knew I could trust you. I mean, you put up quite a fight every time I tried to pay for something over the last four years.” His smile was broad and genuine now, her favorite look on him. “But maybe you just didn’t realize how much money I actually had. Five million.” He shook his head with a little laugh. 

“Five million seemed like a lot.” She took a large gulp of her tea. “And it’s insane that you have so much money that five million doesn’t seem like a lot.”

“You’re not going to be weird about this, are you? It’s just money, Rey. It doesn’t change anything.” She looked at him over the rim of her mug. 

“It might change one thing.” He inhaled sharply. “I might stop fighting for you to let me pay for dinner at Takodana. Maybe.” He exhaled, his smile returning. “But I can still pay my own bills. And grocery shop.”

“Of course you can. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Rey.”

“No, I know you don’t.” She took one of the cookies and nibbled it as she thought. “So, I guess we should start looking for a place we both like. Ideally we’d be in before Christmas, but that’s cutting it fine, but I definitely want to have everything in order before she gets here.” 

“I can see who my mother recommends as a real estate agent for the area. Or we can research ourselves.” 

“I’m going to defer to you on this one. I don’t know the first thing about buying a house, other than it’s a lot different than leasing a two bedroom with a roommate.” Rey shrugged as she picked up a second cookie. “And you know what sort of things I like. I’m sure you can find some options we’d both like.”

“Any secret dreams for a house I should know about before I start looking?” She leaned back against the pillows she’d piled up behind herself and pursed her lips in thought. Ben took his mug and quickly downed about half of its contents in a few gulps.

“I’m not sure I have any “secret dreams” but I’d like to have a backyard, like you said. Maybe with a fence for privacy. A couple of bedrooms and bathrooms, a nice, cozy den.” She sipped the last of her tea and wiped her mouth on her sweater sleeve. “Ideally a room we could make the music room. Even if it’s just a nicely redone basement like your parents have.” 

“Sounds doable.” Ben nodded. He took the tray and set it on the ground next to the bed before he flicked off the lamp they’d been using for light. They settled into bed, her carefully propped up on pillows to help with the pain in her arm and shoulder, and him holding her right hand under the covers. “Veronica?”

“No. Grace?”

“Mm. No. Cassia?”

“No. Hermione?”

“We agreed no famous fictional character names.” He chuckled. 

“Had to try to sneak one in there. I’m not sorry.” She yawned. 

“Lucy?”

“Mmm. That’s not bad. Lucy Solo.” She closed her eyes. “I’d consider Lucy.” 

“I’ll write it down in the morning.” She could hear the notes of satisfaction in his tone. 

“Zahra?” 

“Huh. I’ll write that one too.” She squeezed his hand gently. “See, we can come up with names.”

“Yeah. But we still haven’t been able to choose one.” She glanced over at him, a sleepy smile on her face. “You didn’t sing to her tonight.” 

“Oh- no, I guess I didn’t. Should I?”

“Of course you should. I want her to know your voice.” She insisted.

"Actually, I think I chose the song I'd like to sing to her- her special song." He said as he sat up, propping his face close to her stomach. He cleared his throat, and laid his hand on her belly, stroking gently circles with his thumb. 

"Yeah? I can't wait to hear it." She smiled, looking down at the image of him doting on their unborn child with such obvious love had her heart doing funny things. She shut her eyes, and prepared to listen even as she started to drift off to sleep. 

_“Moon river, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style some day. Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way...Two drifters, off to see the world, There's such a lot of world to see, We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend, My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, Moon River is the special song we sing to my best friend's baby, which is probably why it felt like the right song for Ben and Rey.


	23. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“You should sleep, sweetheart.”
> 
> “Mm-mm. I don’t wanna miss saying goodbye to you.”
> 
> “I could wake you up before I go.” 
> 
> “But would you really be able to bring yourself to wake up your pregnant fiancée from a deep sleep? No, you’d do some romantic crap like leaving a sweet little note on your pillow for me to find later.” She insisted. 
> 
> “But don’t you usually have to pee around three in the morning anyways?” 
> 
> “Around three, yes, but it’s not like I have an internal clock that registers three and decides it’s time to empty my bladder.” 
> 
> “Look, I promise to wake you up and kiss you goodbye, but you really should get some sleep sweetheart.” He yawned. “And maybe I should too.”"
> 
> The night before Ben has to go on tour, Ben and Rey are both hesitant to fall asleep and miss a single second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry I'm late with the update- the day really got away from me yesterday...and most of today. Anyways, my usual Wednesday update is probably going to be a Thursday update this week, just because I'm running behind in general right now! But we should be back to Sunday and Wednesday by next week, She said hopefully! Stay safe out there everyone!

“I don’t want to go.” Ben pouted, burying his face in her lap. “I’d rather just stay here with you.”

“You have to go, love. Amilyn worked her ass off to get Snoke to postpone the tour the two weeks he did.” She drew her fingers through his hair slowly, savoring the silky feel of it against her skin. 

“Please, he’s perfectly happy because he got me to do that ridiculous magazine photo shoot and article and they paid him a Kriff ton of money that I get almost none of.” Ben grumbled, his voice muffled by her legs. 

“Because you’re really hurting for money Mister McDuck?” 

“Did you just make a ducktales reference? Original or reboot?”

“Original, Obviously.” He groaned into her lap. “Hey, don’t knock-“

“How did I not know you liked Ducktales until right now?” He propped himself up on his elbows. “Just more proof that my fiancée is the most perfect woman on the face of the planet, and it should be illegal to make me leave her for any reason.” She laughed, and bent down just a touch to kiss him. 

“It should be, but it’s not, so you’ll go on the tour without complaining so we can get on with ending your kriffing contract.” She insisted, squeezing his chin firmly. 

“Fine, Fine. But I really, truly hate to be going anywhere right now.” His eyes flickered over her broken wrist, stitched forehead, and vast array of scars and bruises. 

“It’ll be okay, Ben. I’ll be fine.” She promised him. “I’ll be here with your parents, I won’t go anywhere alone.”

“But how am I supposed to leave for a month and half when you’re nineteen weeks pregnant?” 

“Better nineteen than twenty nine.” She said lightly, though the idea of him being gone left a sour taste on her tongue. “We can talk on the phone all the time. I’ll update you constantly. You’ll be quite bored of updates by the end of week one.” 

“Impossible. You and our daughter are my favorite topic of discussion.” He scoffed. 

“Maybe on the tour you’ll discover some really charming name for her.” Rey offered. 

“What? Having second thoughts about the names on our list?” He asked, glancing at the notebook on the bedside table. 

“No, I like the names on our list. But clearly we haven’t settled on one yet, so maybe her name just isn’t on the list.” 

“Or maybe it is and we’re overthinking it?” He suggested. She scowled playfully at him, and ruffled his hair. 

“I probably will start overthinking it as soon as you leave.” She admitted. “I’m going to miss you so much- And I feel silly, I know you’re going to be back in six weeks, I do, and I believe that. I keep telling myself that you’ve been on tours before and this isn’t any different-“

“But it is different, Rey.” He sat up, and took her good hand in both of his. “Yes, you’ve known me and been close to me when I’ve gone on tour before, but the other times you weren’t pregnant with our baby. We weren’t living together, hell, we weren’t together at all. We might have been best friends the other times, but now we’re life partners. We depend on each other for certain things, and that’s how it should be. And that will make it really kriffing hard when we have to be apart for a while. You aren’t being silly, Rey. I feel it too.” 

“You do?” 

“Yes.” He nodded. “But it will only be six weeks, and then I will come home to you, okay? And we can keep working on finding a house we like, and when I get home we can start moving in right away.” 

“That would be nice.” She smiled tremulously. “And you’ll be home by Christmas time.”

“I’ll be home by Christmas time, ready to spoil you thoroughly.” He promised with a glint in his eye. 

“You’re already buying me a house!”

“Correction, we’re buying a house.” She looked at him dubiously. “What? What’s mine is yours.”

“Most men with money like yours would want a prenup, you know.” She teased. 

“Then most men don’t love their fiancées like I love you.” He Insisted. “Because I trust you implicitly. And I know you. I know that even if by some terrible twist of fate we ended up divorced…” he knocked on the wooden headboard, and she huffed a little laugh. “You wouldn’t want to take everything from me. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to want to take any money from me. Id probably have to take you to court to make you accept child support.”

“Mmm, that all sounds very complicated. It’s probably for the best that we just stay together.” 

“I agree.” 

“I’m serious, Ben. I want us to grow old together.” She insisted. 

“So do I.” He kissed her hand. “I promise, right here, right now that I will always communicate with you, that I will always fight for you, and that when it comes to our marriage, I’ll always choose hard work over the easy way out.” She swallowed around the lump that had risen in her throat, and he raised his free hand to brush away a tear from her cheek. 

“I- I promise, right here, right now all of that, and that I’ll always call you on your shit, and tease you just the right amount. I’ll choose you and our family over anyone else, from now until the end of our days.” She managed hoarsely. He kissed her forehead, and she tilted her face up to capture his mouth. She broke away and smiled wryly. “I mean, as long as you keep putting out.” 

“Is this commentary about how I haven’t slept with you for two weeks?” He asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “You have a concussion, you’re not supposed to be bounced around!” 

“Well my head and my lady parts have clearly not been in communication, because one of them is very upset about the sudden dry spell that’s only going to get longer.” She grumbled. 

“I’d be happy to assist in other ways.” He said with a smirk. “That is, if you think you can hold still when I’ve got my tongue on your-“

“I could. But that’s not the point. I love how connected I feel to you when we make love. I’ve missed it.” She pouted. “I’ve missed the look in your eye when you’re inside of me and you look like I’m the only thing in the world that matters to you.” 

“Is it that different from how I look at you all the time?” He suggested softly. “I can’t, Rey. I can’t do anything that might hurt you or exasperate your injuries. As much as I’d love to take you right here right now, anytime any place really, I will not risk hurting you in any way.” 

“But you’re about to be gone for six kriffing weeks, Ben!” She protested. “And you know how bad I am at getting off without your help.” 

“Rey…” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re so damn stubborn, you know that?”

“I am.” She agreed. “And I’d really, really like to sleep with you before you leave for the airport at three in the morning.” 

“I…” He swallowed thickly. 

“You don’t want to bounce me around? That’s fine. We can go slow. So, so slow.” She cupped the back of his neck in her dainty hand and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. “And if I’m on top, I can control the pace. An easy rock, I promise. No shaking up my concussion.”

“How am I supposed to argue with that?” He breathed, and she grinned. 

“You’re not.” 

“Rey…” he hissed, his breathing labored. The look of conflict on his face broke through her lusty haze and she reeled back, blinking as sudden tears formed in her eyes. “Rey?”

“I- I’m sorry.” She sniffled.

“What- why are you sorry?” He asked, bewildered.

“Because!” She hit her palm against the mattress. “We we’re having a really romantic moment; and I ruined it by trying to convince you to sleep with me!”

“You didn’t ruin the romantic moment, Rey.” He promised, reaching out a tentative hand to touch her shoulder. 

“I promise my love for you is in no way dependent on you putting out!” She sniffled again, hiding her face in her hands and cursing her hormones for the mood swings and the incessant need for her fiancee’s body. 

“You think I don’t know that?” He asked, winding his arm fully around her now. “Rey, sweetheart, please, don’t feel bad for wanting to have sex with me- I’m your fiancée, it’s not something that should make you cry!”

“But you said no and I tried to convince you otherwise and that’s not okay!” She cried.

“Well...it’s not like I was saying no because I didn’t want to, Rey. You understand that, right? I want you, always, of course I want you.” He coaxed her hands away from her face and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I said no because you’re on bed rest, and I’m afraid of hurting you. That’s it, I promise.” 

“And I appreciate how sensitive you’re being!” She nodded, but her chest still heaved with quiet sobs. “But my hormones are not ready to be logical about any of this- all I can think about is you leaving for six weeks in like six hours, and how much I need you right now! And I’m kriffing crying because of it! Pregnancy is so weird, Ben, it’s doing weird things to my head!”

“Hey, everything you’re saying is normal.” He said, sounding so sure it soothed something aching in her chest. “You’ve been so incredibly strong your whole life, sweetheart. It’s okay that feeling out of control of your emotions and your body is freaking you out.” He kissed her forehead, and traced his thumb along the curve of her cheekbone, dragging tears along her skin. 

“I don’t want to feel helpless.” She whimpered. “And most of the time, I like being pregnant. I like everything about it, and I feel so beautiful like this… but sometimes, it makes me feel really small. Scared. Needy. And I’m not used to that.”

“I know.” He kissed her forehead again, and she reveled in the comforting contact. 

“The thing is, you’ve always been so good at being there for me, even when I wasn’t ready to admit how much I needed you. Even when I stubbornly insisted I didn’t need someone.” She ran her hand through his hair, a comfort to both of them. “And it’s just really hitting me that I won’t have you here for six weeks, and I know I have your parents and our friends, and I can still talk to you, so I shouldn’t feel alone, but…”

“You’re not alone. You won’t ever be alone again.” He insisted, his voice quiet and fervent. “Even when I’m not here, you’ve got a piece of me with you...here…” he laid a hand on her belly, where their daughter squirmed under his touch, still undetected by everyone but herself. “...and here…” he raised his hand slowly to her heart. 

“Ben…” She sighed, closing her eyes and burrowing her face into the warmth of his neck. “I’m sorry for freaking out so hard. And I’m sorry that’s not the first time I’ve said that to you. I’m also sorry it’s probably not the last time.”

“That’s okay.” He murmured into her hair. “Freak out as much as you need, I’ll be right here to catch you when you fall.” 

“I’ll catch you too.” She promised, kissing his neck reverently. “You mean so much to me, it’s crazy.”

“I know the feeling.” He tipped her chin up and pressed his lips to hers, his kiss deep and urgent. She pulled back, meeting his wild brown eyes curiously. 

“Ben?”

“If you feel good enough to give sex a try, I certainly feel up to it.” He explained with a smile that made her insides turn molten. “And like you said before, with you on top, controlling the pace, seems safe enough.” 

“Yeah?” She asked, biting her lip. 

“Yeah.” He kissed her again, barely breaking the kiss even as she pushed his shirt up and over his head. Suddenly he caught her face in his hands, cradling it gently as he searched her gaze. “But if you get dizzy or your head starts to hurt, or any of the symptoms, we stop immediately, okay? I don’t care if we just got  
Started or we’re close to the end, if you start feeling off, we stop, no feeling bad, okay?” 

“Okay.” She agreed. He nodded, almost to himself, in confirmation of her agreement. 

And everything was slow. Kisses were lingering and deep, and open mouthed kisses were pressed across her shoulders and breasts while she rocked on him, against him, creating the friction she craved. He had to curl up his long torso awkwardly around her belly for her to be able to kiss him on the mouth, but he didn’t seem to mind as he groaned into her mouth as she clamped down around him. 

The build up was so slow it borderlined on torture, but the release was worth every bit of it. She felt like she’d never stop feeling the bliss- it started in her toes, which curled of their own accord, and traveled up and down the length of her body in gentle waves, leaving her trembling and gasping as she continued to roll her hips against him until she felt him shudder and exhale sharply against her neck while he spilled himself inside of her. They held each other for a few moments, breathing hard and sticky with sweat, and then he carefully laid her back against her mountain of pillows and collapsed inelegantly beside her. 

“You feel okay?” He asked as she caught one of his massive hands to tangle their fingers together. 

“I feel terrific.” She grinned. “Blissed out, actually.”

“But your head feels okay?” He traced the fingers of his free hand lightly along the curve of the stitches on her forehead. 

“Completely normal.” 

“And your shoulder?” 

“Still stiff and sore, but it was like that before we slept together.” 

“Your wrist?”

“Still broken.” She said with a smirk. 

“But it’s not-“

“No, it’s not in any worse shape than it was when I got dressed for bed.” She laughed. “Actually maybe it’s even a little bit better- or maybe I’m just all over relaxed now.”

“Are you telling me orgasms have been the key to eliminating your pain this whole time?” He scoffed. 

“I’m not saying that’s true, but also, I’m not denying that it seems to have affected me positively.” 

“Does having an orgasm not usually affect you positively?” He played with her fingers, and she pretended to weigh his question.

“I suppose you’re right. But don’t get cocky, Ben Solo, it’s not like banging you is a cure for blindness or the common cold.” 

“How do you know? No ones ever tested that theory.” He said dryly. 

“And no one better test that theory, except maybe me, though I doubt sex will be the first thing on my mind next time I have a common cold.” He laughed, her favorite sound in the world. “We’re so weird, you know?”

“I mean, yes, I do, but why specifically are you bringing it up right now?”

“In the course of an hour we have declared eternal love, worked our way through a pregnancy induced panic attack, had fantastic sex, and now we’re theorizing your junk’s medical properties? All while we’re waiting for you to have to leave to go on a European tour with your world famous band? And we’re in your parent’s guest room? Honestly the more I think about it the stranger this whole situation is.” She yawned.

“You should sleep, sweetheart.”

“Mm-mm. I don’t wanna miss saying goodbye to you.”

“I could wake you up before I go.” 

“But would you really be able to bring yourself to wake up your pregnant fiancée from a deep sleep? No, you’d do some romantic crap like leaving a sweet little note on your pillow for me to find later.” She insisted. 

“But don’t you usually have to pee around three in the morning anyways?” 

“Around three, yes, but it’s not like I have an internal clock that registers three and decides it’s time to empty my bladder.” 

“Look, I promise to wake you up and kiss you goodbye, but you really should get some sleep sweetheart.” He yawned. “And maybe I should too.”

“You have your alarm set?”

“I do.” 

“Good.” She settled in more comfortably, keeping her right hand twined with his. “I love you, Ben Solo.”

“I love you, Rey Jakkson.” She made a small noise of displeasure. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m about ready to give up Jakkson forever.” She sighed. “When we write our daughters name on her birth certificate, I want us all to have the same last name.”

“You’re the one who wouldn’t let us elope.” 

“I know. And I stand by the choice to stay in your mothers good graces.”

“She never would’ve stayed mad at you, you’re having her granddaughter!” 

“Still.” She tilted her face to look at him. “What if we got married when you got home?”

“Lets do it.” She could make out his grin even in the dim light that filtered through the curtains.

“Not right when you get home, you’ll need a few days to adjust to the right time, get over jet lag etcetera, but say, a week after you get home, we get married?” She suggested. He drew their joined hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles reverently.

“It sounds perfect.”

“So. We get married in seven weeks.”

“We get married in seven weeks.” He confirmed. 

“Well, that will give me something to do while you’re gone anyways. I’m sure your mom will have a lot of things to suggest for the wedding that will keep me plenty busy.” 

“Don’t let her steamroll you into anything you don’t want, Rey. She’s made of strong stuff, she’ll survive if you nix some of her ideas.” 

“I’m sure Leia and I can find a happy medium between the grandiose celebration she’ll want and the tiny ceremony I envision.” Rey yawned again, sleep weighing heavily on her eyelids. “I don’t care what happens, as long as I get to end the day married to you.” 

“I’m sure that part is already set in stone, sweetheart.” He kissed her hand again, his lips lingering and warm. "Goodnight, Rey."

"Wake me up when you wake?" She asked, her words slurring as sleep over took her. 

"I promise."


	24. I Just Called To Say I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " **Week twenty as of this morning- she’s as big as a banana!**
> 
> Rey sent the text off to Ben along with the sideways picture she’d snapped in the mirror. She was sure he already knew the information- he was tracking it just as avidly as she was- but she’d promised him updates, and he got them first thing in the morning, just before bed, and what felt like a thousand other times during the day, and he’d only been gone three days. "
> 
> Ben's in London, so Rey spends the morning with Han and tries not to text Ben all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for being patient while I tried to get caught up on life (It did not work, but hey, I tried!) But here's your new chapter! I'm trying to figure out how many chapters I have left, but honestly, I'm just really not sure! Anyways- I hope you enjoy this update! See you again on Sunday!

**Week twenty as of this morning- she’s as big as a banana!**

Rey sent the text off to Ben along with the sideways picture she’d snapped in the mirror. She was sure he already knew the information- he was tracking it just as avidly as she was- but she’d promised him updates, and he got them first thing in the morning, just before bed, and what felt like a thousand other times during the day, and he’d only been gone three days. 

The first night had been almost unbearable without him. She’d gotten so used to his comforting presence that the room felt suffocatingly empty when she’d shut off the lights and settled into her pillow nest. She’d ended up on the phone with Rose at two in the morning, unable to sleep and utterly miserable, but unwilling to wake Han or Leia from their sleep. Rose had taken it in stride, staying on the phone with her and talking about everything and nothing until Rey had drifted to sleep. 

But Ben had called her worried as soon as he was off the plane, because Rose had left him a voice mail in the middle of the night explaining everything, because she knew Rey wouldn’t, and she was worried for her friend. She’d assured Ben everything was fine, it was just the hormones and the baby making her emotional. Just talking to him on the phone brightened her mood considerably. 

As did the delivery that afternoon with a pregnancy pillow, pistachio ice cream, fuzzy yellow socks, and lavender pillow spray. She’d called Ben crying, and he worried that he’d some how messed up before Leia took the phone and explained that he had done the exact opposite, and Rey was crying because she was overwhelmed and happy. Ben hadn’t been thrilled to hear that she was crying regardless, but happy tears were preferable to sad. 

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
How do you get more beautiful every damn day? **

She smiled to herself even as she rolled her eyes. 

**I think you mean fatter. I’m fatter every damn day.**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Pretty sure I meant beautiful.   
…  
Also, you’re not fat, you’re pregnant, and so kriffing sexy. Your new curves are indescribable. **

She laughed out loud, shaking her head as if he could see her. 

**You’re just trying to flatter me so I don’t have to call you crying again.**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
I never flatter anyone. You know I’m too socially awkward for that.   
…  
Soundcheck for the first show in fifteen. I’d better go get ready. I love you, sweetheart. Talk soon?  
...  
Feel free to text me any “updates” you want, just know I won’t be able to respond for a while.   
**

She sighed heavily.   
**  
I know. I love you too.  
…  
Update I miss you a lot and so does baby girl.   
…  
Update my latest craving is pistachio ice cream with raspberries and fudge sauce? Your dad is thrilled about the increase of sugar in the house.   
**

She dropped her phone in the pocket of her robe. She told herself she wouldn’t, but she knew she’d be texting him stupid updates all day. And when he got his phone out after soundcheck, he’d respond dutifully to each nonsensical statement, and insist he enjoyed them. She pushed herself up off of the bed and out of the guest room she was occupying.

“Hey sunshine, aren’t you supposed to be on bed rest?” Han asked from where he stood pouring himself a glass of orange juice. 

“Moderate bed rest. No stairs, no long walks, Han.” She reminded him. 

“Right, right.” He nodded. He held up the carton of juice with a raised brow and she nodded. He went about fetching another glass from the cupboard.

“Where’s Leia?” She took a seat at the kitchen island as he filled the glass. 

“Had a meeting with her advisor this morning.” He slid the glass across the counter to her, and she caught it. 

“Advisor?” 

“A Mr. C. Threepio. Or Cliff, Clifford, that’s his actual name, but he goes by “Mr. C. Threepio”.” Han explained as he rolled his eyes. “A major Pain in the ass. My ass specifically, since apparently my manners are “appalling” for a senators husband.” Rey snorted into her cup, orange juice dribbling down her chin. Han chuckled and tossed her a napkin. “See, if old Cliff Threepio saw that, he’d shake his head with that stiff neck of his and mutter something like “most unbecoming” or some shit.” 

“So, if she’s meeting with her advisor, does that mean she’s decided to run for office?” Rey asked. 

“She says she hasn’t decided yet, but she has. I know her well enough by now to know she is not the retiring type.” Han sighed as he brought a basket full of pastries over to her. “Here, picked these up from Maz’s last night. Would’ve left ‘em in the box, but Leia insists on making things look nice. Oh, she also told me to make sure you had something with actual substance. Fruit or something?”

“I’d take some fruit.” Rey nodded. “What do we have?”

“Bananas, oranges, pears, strawberries, grapes? Oh, grapefruit too. Leia bought a ton.”

“Well then I guess I’ll have a grapefruit? And a banana. Maybe strawberries. I can get it myself-“

“Sit your ass down sunshine!” Han insisted as she tried to get up. “I know you’re only on moderate bedrest, but between the reminder texts from my wife and son about keeping you safe, would you just let me get your breakfast?”

“Fine.” She huffed. She distracted herself by rummaging through the basket of pastries and selecting an apple turn over before changing her mind and grabbing a cruffin. Then she decided to hell with it, she’d have both because she was pregnant and she wanted it. She started to rise from her stool, and Han turned, brandishing a grapefruit knife. “Just grabbing my vitamins, or is that not allowed warden?”

“Now you’re making it sound like I’m a hard ass!” Han scoffed. “I’m cutting you fruit!”

“You’re not a hard ass, Han. You’re a big sweetheart, and everybody knows it.” She grinned over her shoulder as she opened the drawer where Leia had told her to stash her array of supplements. She grabbed her now empty glass and went to the sink to fill it with water. 

“You’re really testing your limits, aren’t you sunshine?” Han chuckled.

“I’ll behave. After breakfast, we can go to the tv room, put our feet up and watch your collection of M*A*S*H.” Rey offered, and Han offered her one of his most charming smiles in return. 

“M*A*S*H, huh? You really are like an old woman in a young body, aren’t you kid?” 

“Did Poe get to you too?” Rey groaned.

“He May have mentioned something about it a dozen or so times.” Han laughed. She blushed as she downed her pills and the full glass of water. When she set it on the counter again, Han glanced at her before devoting his gaze to the fruit on his cutting board. “All joking aside, sunshine, you’re exactly what Ben needed. Kid’s been old before his time since he was eight. Always playing music from decades before he was born, obsessing over space, and history. Always a homebody too, our Ben- well, not for a while there,he went from never going out to going out far too much- but he managed to find himself a great girl.” 

“Yeah, fate is funny like that sometimes, isn’t it?” She smiled softly to herself, remembering the night she met Ben, when she’d been so surprised to have John Denver start up on his car radio. A little piece of her had known, even then, that she’d love him if she ever got the chance to- and Maker was she grateful that she did. Across the kitchen, Han started loading up an array of fruit on the same tray they’d used to bring tea and cookies to her and Ben the other night. “Where are you planning on taking that?”

“You said after breakfast we could go to the TV room, but Leia isn’t here, and she’s the one who says meals should be eaten at a table and not in front of a television.” Han explained, his eyes twinkling. “I thought we could just head there now, get your feet put up and everything. Wouldn’t want you getting tired sitting up at the table.” 

“That would be dreadful.” Rey agreed seriously. Han brought the tray to the kitchen island where she sat, and grabbed the plate with her pastries, and after a moment, the entire basket of pastries was next to it. 

“I’ll come back for the drinks.” Han shrugged, motioning for her to follow him as if she didn’t know where their tv room was. To call it a tv room was almost an understatement really- it was more like a home theater with comfortable chairs that leaned back with footrests, where no one looked at you funny if you curled up with your Christmas print blanket in October. 

“I could carry something you know.” She insisted.

“You’ve got one good hand, at most you’re carrying one drink, and I’d still have to go back for mine. Don’t sweat it kid.” He insisted. She did open the door for him, and she settled into the chair next to Han’s favorite as he set up the tray so that it balanced expertly between the chairs.

“Seems like you knew how to do that pretty well for someone who’s not supposed to bring meals into the tv room.” 

“Generally I don’t bring meals, I bring snacks.” Han grinned. “And when Chewie and I watch games, we need snacks. Chewie has to be fed all the time, or he gets grumpy.”

“Sounds like you’re talking about an animal or something.” Rey laughed. 

“Could be, he’s a hairy bastard that one.” Han smiled fondly. “Be right back.” He ducked out of the room to grab their drinks. She grabbed a strawberry and popped it in her mouth before she fished her phone from her robe pocket.   
**  
Update: I’m about to embark on a M*A*S*H marathon with your father. (Don’t tell Poe it was my idea, he’ll never let me hear the end of it) Don’t worry I am eating breakfast, fruit and everything! (Don’t tell your mom we had a meal in the TV room!)  
**  
...  
The buzzing of her phone jolted her from a nap. She was briefly hesitant to look, a bit of dread pooling in her stomach as she flipped the phone over. Ben’s adorable smile while he had his arms wrapped around her popped up on the screen and she let out a sigh of relief as she answered it. 

“Mmmm hello?” She stretched, her body a little stiff from the awkward angle she’d fallen asleep in in the TV room chair. Han was gone and the lights and the TV were both off, so she had to assume she’d dozed off somewhere after the sixth episode they’d watched. 

“Hey sweetheart. You okay there?” He asked with a small chuckle.

“Yeah, all good here, was just asleep.” She pulled her reindeer blanket up and snuggled back into the chair.

“Oh, I’m sorry I woke you up. Should’ve texted first.” 

“Ben, it’s okay. If I nap too long I can never fall asleep at night anyways, and I don’t need something to make sleeping more difficult just now.” 

“Are you still not sleeping well?” He asked, his concern evident. She could almost picture the purse of his lips, the dent between his brows as he spoke. 

“I mean, relative to how I used to sleep? No. But it’s hard to get comfortable. The pillow did really help though, so thank you for that! I think it’s just going to get more difficult to get comfortable from here on out-I can’t imagine she’ll get bigger and I’ll suddenly think this is a cakewalk.” She smiled slightly as she traced her fingers lightly over her stomach, the tickle soft and pleasant.

“I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, but didn’t say anything else.

“Ben?” 

“Yes?”

“Is everything okay? Usually if I talk about our baby you get excited about it- but you’re sort of giving me nothing here.” She laughed, though her heart was beating a little faster. 

“I wanted to tell you this over the phone, before you found out some other way.” He let out a heavy breath.

“O...Kay?” She prompted.

“Bazine is here.” He said it so quickly for a moment it didn’t register for her. “Rey?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I swear I didn’t know she was going to be here- apparently our old opening act had to cancel when we postponed so the studio grabbed Bazine and I didn’t have a clue until Sound check tonight.” He explained, barely pausing to breathe. 

“You’re in Europe, with your beautiful ex girlfriend?” Rey asked, a familiar feeling pooling in her gut. She’d felt it before, any time she’d met one of Ben’s girlfriends back when he’d still been dating. Every time they went out to a bar or restaurant and a girl had the audacity to speak to him, flirt with him, or give him her number. Jealousy, cold and cruel shot through her veins even as she tried to suppress it. 

“Rey, I’m in Europe with Hux and Phasma. With my band.” He insisted. 

“Your band. With Hux and Phasma, a couple, and Savage brought his wife, so who are you going to get stuck with but Bazine kriffing Netal?” She asked, her voice higher pitched than she wanted it to be. She cleared her throat, and tried to physically shake off the feelings of sadness and anger that had risen quite against her will. “I’m sorry, I just- I don’t like that!”

“I know. I know- I don’t like it either. She’s not at all the type of musician the Knights of Ren fans usually follow. I can’t help but think Snoke sent her specifically to get back at me.” He groaned. 

“Did you just run your fingers through your hair?” She asked, her voice already more normal sounding.

“How did you know that? Are you a witch?” He laughed, but it was strained. 

“Not that I know of. Just a woman who loves you. Who knows your little quirks.” The reminder was good for her too- she was the one who knew Ben best. She was the one wearing his great grandmother’s heirloom ring. She was the one with his baby growing under her heart. She was the one he had chosen- not Bazine Netal. Beautiful, sexy, talented, Bazine Netal. 

“Rey. I swear nothing is going to happen, even if I get tossed together with Bazine at every turn, which Phas would never let happen, by the way, I hope you know I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what we have.” He promised, his tone resolute. “I love you, and only you, Rey. Whatever Snoke hopes to accomplish by sending her here, it won’t happen. Please say you believe me.” His unspoken plea please say you trust me was heavy in the air. 

“Of course I believe you. I trust you, Ben. With my life, with my heart...but how am I not supposed to be jealous right now? I was supposed to be there with you, and I couldn’t because I’m broken and fat and-“

“Stop it- I won’t listen to you degrade yourself like that!” He growled. “Rey, you have no reason to be insecure. So Doctor Kalonia wanted you to take it easy and stay off your feet, that doesn’t make you broken. And from behind, you can’t even tell you’re pregnant- you aren’t fat in any sense of the word.” 

“I just feel insecure right now, Ben. And hearing that Bazine is there, that you’ll be working with her. It’s not that I don’t trust you, Ben, so don’t think I’m doubting you, that’s just not true!” She ran her hand over her belly soothingly. “But after everything you’ve told me, about Snoke and about your relationship with Bazine, I don’t trust them at all!”

“I don’t either. But, despite it being an odd choice, Snoke was within his rights to book her as an opener. It’s not like I could complain about it- no one would care, Rey.” He sighed heavily. “I haven’t spoken to her since the break up, Rey, and I don’t intend to start speaking to her now.” He sounded defeated, and tired. Her heart ached for him.

“Stop beating yourself up over it, Ben.” She instructed. “Like you said, you didn’t know she’d be there. You didn’t plan this. I trust you implicitly- besides, you’re right, Gwen would never let you be alone with Bazine. She hates her more than anyone I’ve ever spoken to.”

“You’re not angry?”

“I’m not angry- I’m sorry you thought I was. Just surprised and you know how my hormones make me right now. Just a little crazy.” She said lightly. He had the good sense not to laugh, but in the silence she swore she could sense him wearing one of his almost imperceptible smiles. “Hey, while I’ve got you on the line, I was thinking if I put the phone on speaker and held it by my belly, you could talk to baby girl a little. Just to help her get to know your voice.”

“Yes, absolutely.” He sounded excited now. 

“Alright, one sec…” she turned the volume to speaker and balanced the phone on the arm of the chair so the speaker was resting gently against her stomach. “You’re good!”

“Hey there baby girl. It’s me, your dad.” He started, speaking slowly as he thought through what he’d say. “Mama tells me you’ve been treating her well. I’m glad to hear it. Mama is an incredible woman and she deserves to be treated nicely, little one….you know this would be a lot easier if baby girl had a name!”

“We’re working on it!” She stuck out her tongue at him even though she knew full well he couldn’t see it. 

“Mama’s right. We are trying to pick a name for you, but we both want it to be perfect, because we love you so much.” He explained. “You’re very loved. Very wanted by both of us. And by your grandparents and a little makeshift brigade of aunts and uncles… I’m sorry I’m not there right now to be with you and your mother- though, it’s probably not that different for you, being inside her belly. But I want more than anything to be curled up with your mother on the sofa.”

“More than anything?” She asked, her eyes a little misty.

“More than anything.” 

“You’re in Europe and what you want more than anything is to be here, with me, in pajamas, napping and watching seventies television?”

“You’ve just described an ideal Saturday.” He insisted, and she grinned. “Add in some making out and take out from Takodana and it’s actually perfect.” 

“We can do that when you get home. While you’re getting over your jetlag, you know, before the wedding.” The mention of the wedding made her heart beat a little bit faster- she was giddy at the idea that she’d be marrying Ben in less than seven weeks now. Mrs. Solo had a nice ring to it, and meant more to her than “miss Jakkson” ever could. 

“How’s that going, by the way? I haven’t gotten any new updates on it today.”

“No plans made today. So far your mom’s been in a meeting with her advisor.”

“Cantankerous Cliff?” 

“Is that what you call him?” 

“Not to his face.” She chuckled, and he let out a little hum of mirth. “What? He is a cantankerous old man!”

“You accuse me of being old but you’re out here using words like cantankerous!”

“For the sake of alliteration, Rey! Very important in a burn.”

“Says who?”

“I do.”

“Mmm. Say that again.”

“I do?”

“Sounds good, but at the wedding, Try not to let it sound like a question.” He let out a full laugh. “Feel better?”

“Talking to you always makes me feel better.” He said, and oh, that made her heart glow. “Again, I’m sorry about the whole...Bazine situation.”

“I...honestly I don’t even want to think about it.” She sighed. “Unless you feel the need to talk about it, because I’m always here to listen when you need to talk, but, she doesn’t feel worth wasting our time talking about. She doesn’t deserve to have you thinking of her at all. She doesn’t deserve you or your time.”

“Maker, you’re sexy when you’re defending me.” He groaned.

“If you’re going to keep talking about me being sexy, let me know so I can take it off speaker phone.” She laughed, and he joined her. It was like music, a rich harmony of bass and her lighter mezzo. 

“I’ll refrain, but know I’m always thinking it.” He said after a thoughtful moment. “I’ve still got to sing our girl her song.”

“Oh yes! Please do!” She closed her eyes and relaxed as his rich voice painted a beautiful picture for their unborn daughter. She could picture the two of them a few years from now, seated on the edge of a little bed in a green room, singing Moon River to a round faced little toddler. Ben would play on his guitar, and their little girls eyes would light up while she watched him- and Rey would smile at him as she fought to keep her eyes open as sleep pulled her in. “I love the song.”

“Me too.” He cleared his throat. “I should get going- I’m supposed to meet Phas and Hux for dinner before the concert.”

“Ooh, where are you going?” She asked.

“Phas’s dressing room.”

“What- why?”

“Since they released the article with the photographs and everything, my face is too recognizable. People are actually on the look out for me in London. According to Phas, I Spy Ben Solo is trending on twitter.” 

“To be fair, those pictures of you are, as the youths say: straight fire.” She teased gently. “Honestly, one of them is probably enough to get me off, just looking at it.”

“While I’m glad that you enjoy them, I’d rather not have our friends sending me screenshots of grainy ass pictures from twitter all day.”

“Oh- that- that kind of sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Thanks?”

“I mean that you feel like you can’t go exploring!”

“It’s too risky- alone, Hux and Phasma wouldn’t stand out much, no one knows their faces; but If pictures of me out with them in every city we tour in start popping up, people will put two and two together.” 

“That really sucks.” 

“It’s fine. I’ve been to all of these places before. I’d rather face time you.” 

“You’re sweet and full of it. Don’t tell me you don’t want to go out adventuring on your days off!”

“Of course I would rather be out exploring, but I’d also like to avoid being mobbed. I like to think things will start to calm down as the dust settles and everyone gets used to the fact that Ben Solo is Kylo Ren.” He sighs heavily, like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. “I don’t know what the big deal is. They always knew there was a man behind the mask.”

“Love, you know what the big deal is.”

“...maybe.” He groaned. “You know, the only reason I did like the mask was that it gave me a chance to prove myself. To be someone else, someone who wasn’t given a free ride because of their famous family. The fans we have are fans who like the Knights of Ren, and our music, and not hold outs from my uncle Luke, or long time fans of the Sith or the Jedi. I got to be my own entity, and now...now that’s all been shot to hell, hasn’t it?”

“No. No, it hasn’t. You still accomplished what you accomplished. And you did it without your family name or legacy. Is it great that in the long run Snoke took advantage of you wanting to separate from them? Of course not. But Snoke couldn’t have sold your music, your band if it wasn’t for the genuine talent. Don’t let a handful of assholes on the Internet and the media screw your value as a musician, Ben Solo. I’ve always known you were one of the best.” 

“I love you so much sweetheart. Thank you.” 

“Any time, Ben. I told you, I’m here to catch you and lift you back up, always. Till death do us part.” 

“Till death do us part.” He agreed. 

“Now you should go meet Gwen and Armitage. If you don’t eat before a show you always get so grumpy and shaky.” 

“You do know me well, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Mmm. Say it again.” He practically purred. She stifled a giggle. 

“I do.” 

“Yeah, I like the sound of that. I like it a lot.” 

“Soon, love, so soon.” She promised. “Now go, eat! I love you!”

“I love you too- I’m not sure when the concert will end exactly. But if it’s early enough your time, we can face time when I’m back at the hotel?”

“I’d love that, Ben.”

“Me too.”

“Are you purposely delaying hanging up?” 

“No. A little. Maybe I’m just not ready to let you go yet.” 

“Well I’ll be right here after you’re done with the show. And I’ll text you any all updates that cross my mind- now go before I sic Gwen on you!”

“Alright, Alright! I love you, sweetheart. Am I still on speaker?”

“You are.”

“Then I love you too, little moon beam.”

“Moon beam?” Rey asked, her voice hitching in her throat. 

“Too much?”

“No, no- I love that!” An idea was turning in her mind, and her fingers were already itching to google a thing or twenty. “It’s a perfect nickname for her- we love you too- she’s even wiggling around a whole bunch right now! Saying hello and all.”

“Amazing...okay, I guess I’ll go.”

“Honestly do I have to be the one to hang up first?”

“That might be helpful.” He laughed. 

Alright. We love you so much Ben- kick a thousand asses tonight, okay?”

“Okay. Love you-“ she hung up abruptly, leaving him no chance to extend the conversation again, though she pulled up their text chain immediately after.  
 **  
GO EAT BENJAMIN SOLO, I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOU PASSING OUT DURING A SHOW!  
…  
...IM BOSSY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
Yeah yeah.  
….  
I know 💚  
**


	25. Fly Me To The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ""Ben?”
> 
> “Yeah?” She bit her lip. “What?”
> 
> “I think I know her name.” 
> 
> “Oh?” His head tipped to the side. “Care to enlighten me?”
> 
> “Now this is only if you agree of course.” She said, holding up a hand to placate him, though he didn’t seem the slightest bit concerned. “And I can think of like four potential objections you might have, but it just feels right, so you have to hear me out before you say no!”
> 
> “Okay?” He chuckled nervously. 
> 
> “And it’s okay if you say no, I think we both have to agree that it’s right for her, so if you hate it, we don’t use it.” She said, though it felt wrong to suggest tossing the name to the wayside. 
> 
> “Can you just tell me what it is?” His fingers raked through his hair again. She took a deep breath as she nodded. “Well?”"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! I know it's probably not Sunday anymore for most of you, but it still is Sunday where I live, so technically I'm on schedule! I'm absolutely delighted by the comments I've been receiving- sorry I've been so bad at responding! Anyways, for those of you wishing for more angst, believe me, it is coming...just not today. Today it's a lot of long distance fluff. (Also, Happy Early Star Wars day my loves!)

**Update: say hello to week twenty one! She’s as big as an endive according to the app. (What the hell is an endive?)  
Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Did your belly button pop out this week?   
(An endive is a leafy vegetable- it’s sort of like lettuce but bitter?)**

**It did- you can see it through most of my clothes now 🙄  
…  
Lettuce but bitter? That sounds horrible- why would anyone want to compare their baby to bitter lettuce?!**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
I think it’s cute!  
…  
The belly button, not the bitter lettuce.  
….  
But also, properly cooked, endives aren’t that bad. **

**Mmmm. I’m not convinced.  
…  
How’s Paris?**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Every thing here is smothered in butter.  
…  
You would love it 😘**

**Maker I could go for a croissant right now!  
…  
Have you been able to go out at all? **

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
A little. In Sunglasses, a hood, and a scarf. I look like a character out of some teen romance movie hiding from the press.**

**And that works?**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Sometimes yes.   
…  
Other times you get the pictures on the tabloids and the internet. I’m sure one of me at the louvre is already out there somewhere.**

**Probably twitter. I could ask Rose, she’d probably know. She follows a bunch of Knights of Ren fan accounts.**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
I’m not even a little surprised by that. **

**Maybe I should get twitter. Follow the #IspyBenSolo movement.**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Why?   
…  
You can already see Ben Solo any time you want to.   
…  
Hell, you can see a lot more of him than anyone else can. **

**Mmmm, that’s true.  
…  
Kriff I’m a lucky woman- I mean, have you seen you without a shirt?  
…  
Unreal.  
…  
Just 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
You’re so ridiculous sometimes, you know that?**

**And you LOVE IT!**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
I’d be a fool not to.  
…  
I promised Phas I’d go with her and Hux to a few antique shops. She thinks it’s boring and I’ll be able to entertain her while he browses. **

**Why am I not surprised Armitage is the one who loves antiquing?**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
Because you’ve met him?**

**And he’s friends with you, and I know for a fact you like to scour antique shops for books and old records.**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Guilty as charged.  
…  
I’ll call you when we get back to the hotel? It’s not a show night, so we can FaceTime for a bit.**

**Sounds perfect. Im having lunch with Finn, but I’ll be free after that. Well other than plans for dinner and a movie with your parents, but They’d probably like to see your face too!**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
It’s a date. I love you, and moonbeam**

**We love you too! Have fun shopping! Buy me something pretty 😘**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
I’m way ahead of you.**

**Ben!  
…  
I was kidding!**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Well I’m not.  
…  
This tour gets me home with shockingly few Christmas shopping days. I’m being efficient.**

**And I’m the one who’s ridiculous?**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
I didn’t say I wasn’t ridiculous too, sweetheart!  
**  
....  
She couldn’t move- she was so stunned- of course she’d known it would happen, but she hadn’t thought- hadn’t imagined-

“Leia?” Rey asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she tried to grab her future mother in law’s attention from across the room. “Leia!” 

“What? What’s wrong?” Leia set down her book, and headed towards Her immediately. Rey reached out for her hand and tugged it to her belly, holding her breath and waiting for it. For that little nudge she’d felt against the palm she’d had resting on her stomach. 

“There! There, did you feel that?!” She asked, looking up to meet Leia’s gaze. 

“Yes. I did.” Leia nodded evenly, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye with the hand Rey didn’t have trapped against her faded yellow T-shirt. 

“I felt her move before, but I’ve never been able to feel it on the outside before!” Rey laughed, her own eyes misting over. “I didn’t know it would be so...different- it’s different- she’s, she’s really in there, you know? I mean. Of course she’s really in there, I’ve known that, everyone can see that, but-“

“It’s okay, dear. You don’t have to explain it to me. I’m a mother too, you know.” Leia gave her a conspiratory smile. “Believe me, the first big kicks can really make you feel something.”

“I’m glad you were here to feel it- I would’ve gone half crazy wondering if I was imagining it.” 

“Oh, there will be kicks and twists and things that no one else will be able to feel but you, and believe me, those are plenty real too.” Leia chuckled. “Ben always seemed to know exactly where my kidneys were, and he thought they were punching bags or something, I swear!”

“Ben- Ben! I should call Ben- no; I should FaceTime him!” Rey grabbed her phone and started pulling up Ben’s calendar just to double check he’d be free and hopefully still awake. 

“I’m just going to go start up some dinner.” Leia started towards the kitchen. “Tell my son I say hello.”

“Don’t you want to say it yourself?” Rey asked, puzzled. 

“No, no. That’s alright, I can always call him later. I think the two of you should be able to talk on your own without old mom listening in.” Leia smiled over her shoulder. “I’m surprising Han with his favorite tonight anyways, Calzones take a while to get going.”

“If you need any help-“

“Tell you what Rey, when you’re done with your call, you can come do salad prep as long as you sit at the counter.”

“Deal.” Rey nodded. “ Maker it’s going to be so nice to be off bedrest.”

“Yes, well, we’ll see what Doctor Kalonia says at your appointment next week. Until then, you’re resting and relaxing dear.” Leia ordered as she disappeared from the room. Rey pulled up Ben’s text chain.   
****

**Hey, can you FaceTime?  
…  
I’ll look like I’ve been crying, but I promise you I’m okay, and moonbeam is okay, and everything is actually great right now, I just need to see you.  
**  
Her phone started to buzz with a FaceTime request almost immediately after the second text had been sent, and she hastily scrubbed her face free of tears with her hand before she accepted. 

“You’re okay?” He asked at once, his voice gruff. It was later in Lyon, not quite ten yet, but it looked as if he’d been asleep, or nearly. 

“Hello to you too, love of my life.” She laughed, and any concern that had lingered in his eyes vanished as his face transformed into a smile. 

“Sorry. Hello, sweetheart.” He flicked on a lamp and set his phone to lean against something on the nightstand. with the added light she could see he was reclined on a massive bed, dressed in one of his plain black tees and sweats.

“Were you sleeping?”

“No. Well, nearly. I’ve got a little cold, so I decided to turn in early.” He explained. Yes, his nose did look a little red.

“Oh- I’m sorry Ben- I can let you go if-“

“Don’t you dare.” He sniffed. “Seeing your face is always the best part of my day. Don’t deprive a sick man his medicine!” She made a show of rolling her eyes and covered her grin with her hand. “What’s going on over there? Not that You need a reason to want to see your fiancée’s face, But you said you’d been crying?”

“Ben, I...I felt the baby kick today- well, just now, actually, less than ten minutes ago- and I don’t mean just me, I mean your mom could feel it too!” Rey explained, giddy all over again.

“Really?” He asks, his eyes wide. 

“Yes!”

“Amazing, Rey, that’s amazing.” He grinned. “What does it feel like? Describe it to me.”

“What does it feel like...well, weird. It feels weird, honestly. I’ve never personally known a pregnant woman before so I’ve never felt it from the outside like that- I don’t even know what to compare it to.” She admitted. “Except like, there’s a weird little alien prodding at the outside world from my uterus?”

“That’s descriptive.” He chuckled, the sound tapering off into a sigh. “I wish I was there to feel it.”

“Me too.”

“I knew I’d have to miss things, but…” he shook his head. “I just really wish I was with you right now.”

“There will be lots of time to feel her kicking when you come home.” She said gently. 

“Yeah.” 

“Don’t get mad at yourself.” She warned him. “This is happy news and a healthy baby, Ben.”

“I know- I am glad. It really is amazing and I can’t wait to feel it for myself.” He assured her. “There are times that I really wish I’d never signed at First Order. This is one of them.”

“We can’t undo the past, Ben. Even if we want to.”

“I wouldn’t undo it.” He said quickly. She blanched, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Really? Given the chance to get yourself out of this hell, you wouldn’t?” She asked. “Like I know you can’t actually, but Kriff, Ben, you said that so quick- like you’ve thought about it before.”

“I’ve thought it through a hundred times, a hundred different scenarios and trying to untangle it all.” He explained. “But if I hadn’t signed on with First Order Records, I never would have met you.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“That night, when we met because my car broke down? I never drove that route. Ever. It was too far off of my radius, I’d never even heard of most of those roads.” His fingers dragged through her hair. “You know how that whole area is mostly just abandoned buildings and shit?”

“I’m familiar.” She prompted him to continue with a wave of her hand.

“Snoke chose that old abandoned coal warehouse twenty miles past your garage as the sight for the music video for “Bled”. It was dangerous as hell too, with the poor upkeep. But what Snoke says always goes. I drove by myself because I need some space before I have to spend the whole day with people, and I mean the whole kriffing day, we started at three am and didn’t finish until midnight. Anyways- I’m on the way home when-“

“Your radiator got all kriffed up- I remember.” They shared a soft smiled.

“Right. And my phone had no signal, but I remembered seeing the sign for Nima Outpost on my way to the sight, so I crossed my fingers, hoped I wasn’t too far out and… well, you know the rest.” His fond little smile grew, showing the crooked teeth she loved so much. “So you see- no First Order, no music video, no abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere, no Rey. So, even knowing everything I know now, I’d sign that contract a hundred times.”

“I’m not sure I’m worth everything that First Order has put you through.” She shook her head. 

“I am.” He said firmly, his brown eyes boring into hers even from his place on another continent across an ocean. “Now. That’s not saying I wouldn’t try to prevent some things, specifically the events leading up to your injury, but I wouldn’t undo everything.”

“You’re going to make me cry.” A watery laugh bubbles through her lips. “Oh! She did it again- that was a good one there- I’ll bet she can hear your voice and she’s all excited!”

“She’s just showing off for her dad.” He said, his voice thick with pride. “My little moonbeam.”

"Ben?”

“Yeah?” She bit her lip. “What?”

“I think I know her name.” 

“Oh?” His head tipped to the side. “Care to enlighten me?”

“Now this is only if you agree of course.” She said, holding up a hand to placate him, though he didn’t seem the slightest bit concerned. “And I can think of like four potential objections you might have, but it just feels right, so you have to hear me out before you say no!”

“Okay?” He chuckled nervously. 

“And it’s okay if you say no, I think we both have to agree that it’s right for her, so if you hate it, we don’t use it.” She said, though it felt wrong to suggest tossing the name to the wayside. 

“Can you just tell me what it is?” His fingers raked through his hair again. She took a deep breath as she nodded. “Well?”

“It’s Luna.” 

“Luna?” He repeated it slowly, weighing it on his tongue. 

“I know, I know, we agreed no famous fictional character names, but honestly it’s not because of Harry Potter- it’s because of moon river and Moon beam, and because it just feels so nice to say Luna Solo!” She explained defensively. “And I know you tend to favor more traditional names, but the more I thought about it the more I fell in love with it, and-“

“Rey.”

“It doesn’t break the no B rule or the no family names rule at least- and it’s not an s!”

“Sweetheart?”

“And I can picture her name painted above her bed in your calligraphy in silver-“

“I love it!” He shouted hoarsely, and she cut off abruptly.

“You...love it?” She asked hopefully. He nodded, and grabbed a bottled water from beside the bed, drinking deeply. “You’re not just saying that because I love it?”

“You’re right. It’s her name.” He shrugged. “And if we’re going to break the no famous character names rule, At least it’s for my fellow ravenclaw.” 

“Well you shot down my favorite fellow gryffindor.” She shrugged with a radiant smile on her face. “Ben- did we just name our daughter?”

“You know, I think we did.”

“We did!” They were beaming at eachother like idiots, unable to speak, but soaking in the others presence. “You should choose her middle name.”

“What-“

“No, you should! It’s only fair- I chose Luna, so you should choose the middle name!” She insisted. “That might be even harder than the first name really, since it has to fit between two names- I want you to choose.”

“Am I allowed to ask for help?” He asked. 

“Of course. But I don’t want to sway you- unless you choose something really terrible, in which case I’m going to use my executive mom card and veto.”

“Your executive mom card? What does that mean?” 

“Oh, you know, I’m growing her in my uterus, the harder job of the two of ours in her creation, so ultimately I get to veto any name that might sound terrible.” She shrugged casually.

“Hey, That was a full shrug! Your shoulder doing better?”

“Much better. My wrist still aches a little, but that’s to be expected. And I’m afraid I’m always going to have a nice scar on my forehead- I guess I could get bangs though.”

“No need to hide it on my account. You put up with my scar.” Her eyes flickered to the line that bisected his face. “And yours is tiny compared to mine.”

“I think the scar makes you look sexy. You’re like the tragic hero of a regency romance. Or a pirate. It looks just the right amount of dangerous.” She insisted. 

“You know, the first night we slept together, you told me the scar was sexy, but you could barely get the word out. How far we’ve come.” He smirked. 

“Hey, I was nervous!” She cried. “And I was half convinced if I made one wrong move you’d nope right out of there.”

“Seriously?” He scoffed. “First of all, even if I’d called off sleeping together, I would have stayed with you and talked about why. Second, I don’t actually know if there was anything you could’ve done that would’ve made me “nope out”.”

“A toothy blowjob?” She suggested, coloring at the mention of the infamous first attempt.

“Maybe. Good thing that didn’t happen that night.” He guffawed. “And by the time it did, I was way too far gone on you to even consider leaving.”

“Thank you?” He sneezed loudly, and she jumped. “You Okay there big guy?”

“I’ve been better.” He sniffled. “This is all Hux’s fault. He got a cold in Ireland; and once one of us is sick, everyone on tour gets sick.”

“How did you get sick and not Gwen?”

“Are you accusing me of having an affair with Armitage Hux? He’s hardly my type.” Ben said dryly. 

“No, no.” She laughed. “But they share a room on tour? She’s his girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. The universe is a real son of a bitch sometimes, I guess.” He dropped his head back onto his headboard. “Maker, what I wouldn’t give for a huge piece of Maz’s chocolate cake right now. Chocolate cake and I just want to cuddle with you.” 

“That does sound nice.” She sighed dreamily. “I’d like that very much.” 

“Annie.” 

“Who?” 

“Annie.” He repeated. “I think her middle name should be Annie.” 

“Annie? But you didn’t even like that name when I suggested it!” 

“Yes I did. I put it on the list, didn’t I? Luna Annie Solo.” He said, and a little thrill ran up her spine. “What do you think?” 

“Luna Annie Solo.” She nodded. “Luna Annie.” 

“Luna Annie.” He burrowed further into his pillows. They chatted for a few more minutes while Ben took cold medicine, and she watched as they took effect, his eyes becoming heavy. “Sing for me.” 

“What?” She laughed. He huffed a little and settled more comfortably on his side, looking sleepily at her in the camera. 

“I miss you. I miss your face, and your laugh, and your hands, and your voice.” He yawned. “And I’m sick, and I want you to sing for me. Please?”

“You’re being really clingy for someone a couple thousand miles away.” she smiled fondly. “That must be some pretty strong cold medicine, huh?” 

“Mmhm.” He nodded. “Please?” 

“What should I sing?” She asked. 

“Anything.” He closed his eyes, and for a moment Rey allowed herself to observe him. He was so beautiful, even red nosed and sleepy, with his eyelashes brushing his cheeks, and his plump lips a little slack. “Annie’s song- for our Luna Annie...and me.” 

“Our Luna Annie.” She grinned again- her face hurt from how much she’d smiled that afternoon, but she didn’t care. She cleared her throat, and put her free hand on her stomach, caressing it in soft circles as she started to sing. _“You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, special kudos to the one person who correctly guessed her name was going to be Luna! Gold stars all around.


	26. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " **Luna looks great! Here’s her official twenty two weeks ultrasound pictures! Genetic tests all normal, and she’s definitely a girl 😂😍**
> 
> **Ben Solo💙❤️  
>  She gets cuter every single time we see her!  
> ….  
> The app tells me She’s the size of a coconut today!**
> 
> **Yes, thank Maker, much better than bitter lettuce!**
> 
> **Ben Solo💙❤️**  
>  🙄"
> 
> **Rey Wants Ben home, Ben wants Ben home, we all want Ben home.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Sorry this is another one of those "It's technically still Wednesday for fifteen more minutes" posts- I'm trying to be more timely, but today my internet decided to not work well at all, so here we are! Anyways, please enjoy, and I'll see you on Sunday!

**Luna looks great! Here’s her official twenty two weeks ultrasound pictures! Genetic tests all normal, and she’s definitely a girl 😂😍**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
She gets cuter every single time we see her!  
….  
The app tells me She’s the size of a coconut today!**

**Yes, thank Maker, much better than bitter lettuce!**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
🙄  
…  
What about you? **

**OH! Right- I’m off bedrest as of this morning, but am still required to take it easy.  
…  
So I’m going to start doing two days a week at the garage, just customer service and phones and stuff.  
…  
No heavy lifting.**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
It’s like you knew I’d ask.  
…  
I’m glad you’re doing so much better sweetheart. And I’m glad that Luna is healthy too.**

**Healthy and active- I think she’ll have long legs like her father.**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
Your legs aren’t exactly short, Sweetheart. They go on for miles.  
…  
I mean, you can wrap them around me, and I’m pretty broad.**

**Kriff.  
…  
What I wouldn’t give to be able to wrap them around you now. Like, literally, right now.  
…  
I think my hormones have reached new heights this week. It’s awful.  
Ben Solo💙❤️  
I’m so sorry.  
…  
I wish I was there.**

**Me too Big guy, me too.  
———**  
“Navy blue, sage green, silver, gold.” Rey said, pointing to the swatches Leia had in front of her. “Honestly Leia. I don’t know where you find the time- don’t you have an election coming up?”

“Yes, but right now it’s all publicity and policy and I can do that with my eyes closed. And Threepio can do the rest.” Leia smiled as she jotted down some notes. “Your maid of honor?”

“Rose and Kaydel are co chairing. And Finn’s going to be a bridesman, and Gwen’s going to be a groomswoman.” Rey said. “But don’t you have to go make appearances or something?”

“I did two televised interviews this week, and a press conference. But nothing is going to stop me from getting my son married off in style. I’m thinking we’ll put the men in navy suits, the girls can wear sage green dresses- it’s going to be cold because it'll be December so you’ll have to keep that in mind while you shop for bridesmaids dresses- is Gwen going to wear what they’re wearing?”

“Yes, and Finn will wear whatever the guys wear.” Rey agreed. “Why didn’t you tell me about the interviews? I would’ve gone to support you!”

“Because I knew you would’ve put up a fight to go, and you were not supposed to be up and about except trips to the bathroom or the couch.” Leia smirked. “Now, my first campaign fundraiser dinner, I’ll have you and Ben come to. But for now, it’s not even official campaigning. Nothings been announced.” 

“Well, I’ll be there.” Rey insisted. 

“I’ve booked you and Rose and Kay for an appointment at Cloud City next week-“

“Isn’t that-“

“Expensive? Yes; not to worry, everything’s going on my tab there, and that’s an order, not a suggestion. And I do mean everything for all you girls. I’ve never had daughters- let me have my fun!” 

“But isn’t it impossible to get Bridal appointments there?”

“Not if you know the owner. Lando started as a menswear designer back in the day, but he’s really expanded. His daughter, Jannah? She’s the one with the wedding dress line. I called in a personal favor to be sure we can get you something that will accommodate Luna too, even a few weeks out.” Leia smiled. “And they’ve got some beautiful bridesmaids dresses you can buy off the rack, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“Leia, this is a lot.”

“I know it is.” She sighed. “In my own little way, I think I’m trying to make up for all of the missed birthdays and recitals and track meets I missed while my son was growing up.”

“Leia, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know. But I want to. I want to be responsible for one good day for my son, and you too. Youre the daughter I never had.” Rey reached across the table and took her hand. 

“Actually, I’m the daughter you’re going to have. In just a few more weeks.” Leia grinned at her.

“That’s right. So as my future daughter, please, indulge an old woman. Let me give you a beautiful wedding!” 

“...I like the white amaryllis flowers.” Rey slid the photograph across the table to Leia, who plucked it up with a satisfied smile. 

“I think they’re perfect.”  
—-  
**  
Update: I’m tired, I’ve been on my feet way too long, and I cried three times, BUT we did manage to choose a dress!  
…  
Also, don’t worry, I’m not on my feet anymore. They’re propped up in the tv room!  
…  
Your mom and dad went out to dinner at a colleagues house- I’m staying in with Rose and Pizza!**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Good crying or bad crying?  
….  
I can’t wait to see you in the dress.**

**A little of both. Once because kaydel and Rose looked so pretty in their bridesmaids dresses, once because I was afraid I was so fat nothing would look good, and once because I found just the thing.  
**

“Rey Rey? You going to put the phone down at some point tonight, or am I going to be talking to a wall?” Rose laughed.

“Sorry- just keeping Ben updated.” She set her phone aside, but only after making sure the volume was on low so she wouldn’t miss any of his texts. “I just miss him.”

“I know babe, it’s been really rough on you.” Rose took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “But tonight we’ll feast on pizza and garlic knots and cinnamon rolls until there is no room inside of you for sadness.”

“Seriously?”

“No sad. Just carbs.” Rose insisted. 

“No sad, just carbs.” Rey nodded with a chuckle. 

“Well, carbs and a golden age musical on the worlds most giant television!” Rose grinned. “I’m a grown ass woman, but any time I come to Ben’s parents house I feel reduced to a kid in awe of their friends cool toys.”

“That feeling does not go away, just FYI, and I’ve been living here what; three weeks?”

“Like what kind of crazy fantasy home has a home theater, a music studio, a full on two car garage, and a gorgeous patio? Unreal.” Rose shook her head. “Okay, now that I have you back in the land of the living, give the order a once over before I submit?” 

“I thought I was buying.” Rey insisted.

“But it’s my turn to buy.” Rose insisted right back. 

“Rose. Come on- I’m sitting on so much extra money right now what with my fiancée and his family paying for everything...damn, that sounded really bitchy.”

“No, girl, you’ve got a point. You’ve had a rough life, babe, there’s no shame in having a little extra now.” Rey bit her lip. Of course, it was more than a little extra- it was a whole lot of millions in an account she held a card for- but she didn’t know if it was a good idea to share exact dollar amounts even with her closest friends. “And when you buy next time, we’re going somewhere really kriffing expensive, and trying everything on the menu!But tonight, it’s pizza courtesy of Rose, okay?”

“Fine. But I’m taking you somewhere real fancy babydoll.” Rey rolled her eyes. “Like we’re gonna have to get all dressed up and everything.”

“Sounds ideal- now, this all look good?” 

“You can get bacon and pepperoni on yours if you want. I’m doing better with the smells, as long as I’m not eating it.”

“Yeah; you just actively shuddered when you said the word “bacon” so, I’m going to stick to my taco pizza- you sure you want buffalo chicken with broccoli and onions?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“Nope, you seem serious.”

“As the plague.” Rey nodded. 

“You still on a lemonade kick? Strawberry or regular?”

“Regular please!” 

“Sparkling or flat?”

“Flat.” Her phone buzzed and she took a moment to glance at it.  
**  
Ben Solo💙❤️  
Hey, this place just hit the market today- it’s about two miles from my parents house, similar lay out, so everything we’re looking for.  
…  
Take a look when you get the chance and let me know what you think sweetheart.  
**  
“Ben just sent me a link to another house. Want to look at it with me?” Rey asked.

“Wow, look at you, having a baby, browsing for houses with your fiancé; it’s so grown up! Meanwhile I just convinced my boyfriend that a futon is not a bed...so we’re both doing great!” Rose teased.

“So...is that a yes, or?” Rose scooted closer to her.

“I mean, it’s not like we were going to start the movie until we got our pizza anyways.” She shrugged. “Alright, let’s look!” Rey Clicked on the link. Immediately she was delighted by the looks of it, even from the outside. It was much the same as Han and Leia’s, a nice, big house with a two car garage and a well maintained front yard spreading out before a cute front porch. “It needs a porch swing, no?”

“Oh absolutely- don’t think I wouldn’t get one.” Rey smiled as she started slowly scrolling through the images. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather you guys stayed in the city where I could come bug you all the time, but this place does look pretty great.” Rose admitted. “Plus, it’s got a patio and a heated pool? Done, sold, yes please.” 

“It is a really nice place.” Rey agreed with a smile. “A few splashes of paint here and there, replacing the burnt orange living room carpet, and it’d be perfect.” 

“Holy Kriff- is that how much it costs?” Rose gasped, her eyes wide. 

“Yep.” 

“And Ben is okay with just casually dropping almost two mils on a house?”

“He’s more okay with it than I am, honestly.” Rey shrugged. “And it’s like he said, a family home is a lifetime investment, for us, and our baby.”

“Maker, when we were in our little apartment eating ramen to make rent who would’ve imagined that one day we’d be having a casual conversation about one of us actually purchasing a multi million dollar house!”

“We only had to do that like twice.” Rey protested. Of course, that was because Ben had found out about it and had “anonymously” arranged a grocery delivery, but that was neither here nor there. “But it is weird, I admit. But it’s also nice, knowing Luna won’t ever have to go through what I did. Actually, Ben almost single handedly funds an orphanage. Well, Ben and his parents. He promised to take me there sometime so I could see it- apparently it’s very nice.”

“It’s still so weird to me that nerdy, quiet, philanthropist Ben Solo is death metal guitarist Kylo Ren.” Rose shook her head.

“You’re not the only one having trouble wrapping your mind around it. The blog posts and articles are many.” Rey sighed. 

“Oh- that reminds me! I saw one ranking pictures of Kylo Ren’s ass in leather pants I wanted to show you!”

“Kriff, please don’t!” Rey laughed. 

“Rey, you have to read it! Honest to Maker, it’s so  
Funny!”

“Fine. I’ll read one article, but I have to pee first.” Rey groaned as she pushed herself up off of the couch and headed to the bathroom. 

“That’s fine, I have to find it again anyways. As a general rule I don’t save articles about your fiancée’s ass.” 

“You just read them?”

“Hey, just because he’s not my type does not mean I can’t arbitrarily admit he’s good looking. Like, I might like Van Gogh better than Monet, but I can still admire all the fine art!”

“Rose!” Rey laughed. “Why are you like this?!”

“Just go pee!” Rey continued laughing all the way into the bathroom. As she was drying her hands her phone buzzed.  
**  
Ben Solo💙❤️  
Let me know what you think- the house is in a popular area, so if we’re interested I want to make an inquiry **

**it looks great! I think we’d need to change a few things up, but I think we’d be very happy there.**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
I thought so too- no orange carpet, right?**

**You read my mind!**

**Ben Solo 💙❤️  
I’ll talk to the real estate agent, let them know we’re interested, see if I can get a showing booked for when I get home.**

**Just three more weeks!**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
This has been the longest six weeks of my kriffing life!**

**Hang in there love!  
**  
She tucked her phone back into her pocket and headed back to the TV room. 

“Alright Rose, what do you want to show me? Let’s get this over with.” Rey sighed dramatically as she sunk back into the love seat. Rose bit her lip and looked at her phone again. “What?”

“Rey Rey...I uh, I want to show you this, but I don’t want you to get too worked up- I mean, you just got off bedrest-”

“Are you suggesting that I can’t handle photographs of my fiancee’s ass in leather pants? Rose, you do realize I’ve seen the real thing, Right? Like, I am pregnant with his child right now, so…” She watched Rose’s face, waiting for her to laugh or crack a smile, anything to break through the oddly serious demeanour she’d adopted. “Rose? What’s going on?” 

“It’s- I can’t...Just- Here!” Rose pushed her phone into Rey’s hands. 

“What are...you…” Her head was spinning- her heart was pounding- she felt like she might throw up-

A bold headline at the top of the article proudly proclaimed:  
**  
“BEN SOLO WAS AND IS MY SOULMATE; SEXY SINGER BAZINE NETAL REVEALS SORDID SECRET RELATIONSHIP HISTORY AND PLANS FOR THE FUTURE”  
**  
And beneath it all, a grainy out of focus photograph that could only be Ben Solo- her Ben!- kissing Bazine Netal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE CLIFF HANGER! THE ANGST STRIKES BACK!


	27. Rumor Has It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“How popular is the source of that interview?”
> 
> “Coruscant magazine?” Rose asked, arching a brow. “Pretty damn popular Rey.”
> 
> “So even though this dropped in the last two hours-“
> 
> “It’s likely that a ton of people have seen it, yes.” Rose said sympathetically. "
> 
> In the wake of Bazine Netal's shocking interview, Rey tries to piece together what the hell is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, It's technically Monday, not Sunday, but I have a legit excuse beyond just a busy life this time! My google doc malfunctioned because of my (Still) crappy internet, and deleted about the last four pages of this chapter, and I could not find them anywhere (And boy did I search everywhere!). Faced with the options of trying to split the chapter in two and posting what I had left, or staying up until one a.m. recreating what was lost, I chose recreating, because I really wanted this all in one (very long) chapter! So, without further ado, your Sunday/Monday update! Thank you for your patience!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**  
Miss Netal, we are so thrilled you could take time out of your busy tour schedule to sit down and chat with us!  
** _  
BN: Oh, as if I’d ever say no to my favorite magazine!  
_ **  
That means a lot- as you know, all of us here are major fans!  
** _  
BN: the tour t-shirts did give you away!  
_ **  
Now, Miss Netal-  
** _  
BN: Please, call me Bazine, Miss Netal makes me feel so frumpy!  
_ **  
"As if Bazine Netal, a singer infamous for wearing a completely sheer jumpsuit with no undergarments to one of her concerts could ever be considered anything but a complete and utter sex icon!"**

**Bazine, we’re going to get right down to it: Ben Solo.  
** _  
BN: Oh yes.  
_ **  
"At the mention of Mr. Solo’s name, Bazines face broke into the most mischievous, secret sort of smile. It should be noted here for any of our readers living under a rock, that very recently it was publicly revealed that Ben Solo was Kylo Ren, guitarist for the knights of Ren. Ben Solo is the great grandson of Shmi Skywalker, a Swedish soprano star of records and golden age movie musicals, the grandson of Anakin Skywalker, himself recently revealed as Darth Vader, and the Son Of current senator Leia Organa, who, if the rumors have any substance, is hoping to make a bid for the presidency! Talk about a legacy!"**

**Care to shed some light on that whole situation?  
** _  
BN: what can I say about it? Ben Solo and I dated for four years back when we were both new to the First Order- we were absolutely crazy about eachother! Lived together, planned out a future for ourselves and everything.  
_ **  
What happened?  
** _  
BN: well, when we got together it was before the Knights really took off- he was working under the cover of being a studio musician- can you imagine? A player as talented as he is confined to studio sessions? It’s a wonder any one every bought that shit! Anyways, when I found out the truth, that he was Kylo Ren about two years into our relationship, I pushed him to reveal his identity and embrace who he was, embrace his legacy, but he was...hesitant to do it. Eventually I think that’s what broke us. He didn’t believe in himself, and it broke my heart. I couldn’t stay to watch him fade away into nothing while Kylo Ren, this phantom, cartoon alter ego took credit for his work! It was the hardest day of my life, when we ended.  
_ **  
You were photographed together at several parties during the period of your relationship, and received negative press from his mother’s political adversaries- did that play a part in the break up?  
**_  
BN: not consciously. Ben hasn’t spoken to his parents since he was twenty years old. Even then they were separate, he never even talks to them on the phone, so why would I care what some gruff, uppity senator thought of our relationship? I never so much as saw her in person. I was Ben’s only family. The only one who loved him.  
_ **  
It must have been devastating to him to have you walk away!  
** _  
BN: It was devastating to both of us! But yes, he hit a bad downward spiral after that. Drugs, drinking, women- Kriff, it hurt to know he was with so many other women so soon after we ended- but he was just trying to forget about the pain. I understand that.  
_ **  
You don’t paint the most flattering picture of the guy…  
** _  
BN: Well, he’s not the greatest guy on the face of the planet. Like I said, no self confidence, drinking problem, recreational drugs, and his temper- I swear, he shattered more dishes and punched holes in more walls than I can count!- but love is love, you know? He’s flawed, but I love him anyways. I always have. I always will.  
_ **  
You’re currently on the European tour with Ben Solo’s band, The Knights Of Ren, working in close proximity to each other-  
** _  
BN: you could say in very close proximity, if you catch my drift!  
_ **  
Oh ho- do you mean?  
** _  
BN: Regardless Of any of his other issues, Ben Solo is a very gifted lover- and completely proportional! Honestly, he’s the only man I’ve ever been with that makes you feel split right open!  
_ **  
Split open?  
** _  
BN: Just absolutely kriffing wrecked! He goes at it with the same passion he puts into his music- there’s nothing like it in the world!  
_ **  
Care to give us some more details?  
** _  
BN: haha, what do you want to know?  
_ **  
What’s Ben Solo’s favorite position?  
** _  
BN: oh- he likes to give it from behind! He’s a hair puller that one! Nine times out of ten that’s how we go at it- not that I mind! Don’t fix what’s not broken!  
_ **  
Now, you seem to be implying that your relationship with Ben Solo is not entirely a thing of the past…  
** _  
BN: can you ever really leave love in the past? When I left, I told him to come back to me when he believed in himself- when he could show his face to the world and be proud of it, like I was proud of him. Well, it took him long enough! Ha, but now fate has dropped us together in several of the worlds most romantic locations...a little wine, a little moonlight, and the rest comes naturally.  
_ **  
So you two are back together?  
** _  
BN: I’m not going to go putting labels on new things and ruining them, especially with him so gun shy!  
_ **  
There have been rumors circulating that (Ben Solo) has been seen linked with an unknown pregnant woman- care to address that?  
** _  
BN: Her? She’s basically Ben’s baby sister! He rescued her from a bad home life and supported her while he found her a job. They’re friends, of course he’s been seen with her.  
_ **  
Just friends?  
** _  
BN: I’ll put it this way: if you put filet mignon and ground beef in front of a man and tell him to choose one, which do you think he’d rather sink his teeth into?  
_ **  
So the baby isn’t his?  
** _  
BN: Absolutely not! he had a vasectomy while we were dating! He’s not dad material, and he knows that.  
_ **  
Who is the mystery baby’s father?  
** _  
BN: how the Kriff should I know that? I’m not close to the little street rat. Could be anybody’s- she never did have very good judgement. Honestly, is she that interesting to you? Is she really what you want to waste questions on? A nobody?  
_ **  
Bazine, what do you think the future holds for you and Ben Solo?  
** _  
BN: well, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it seems to me you might hear wedding bells soon! After all, right now we’re just making up for lost time. We have a history, you know? So we’re not starting at square one.  
_ **  
And professionally?  
** _  
BN: I can’t say much, but our mutual manager, Mr. Snoke, has some exciting plans for us in the future-and don’t worry, as usual, you guys will be the first to hear it!  
_ **  
Any closing thoughts before we let you get back to your soundcheck?  
** _  
BN: No; I think I’m good!  
_ **  
Any closing remarks about Ben Solo?  
** _  
BN: only that daddy better watch out because his kitten came to play!  
_ **  
Bazine Netal is currently in Italy preparing for yet another sold out audience tonight! Ben Solo will also be playing as his alter ego, Kylo Ren. Who are the other three Knights? We have some guesses! Check back tomorrow for more deets!**  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s an old picture.” Rey said when she finally looked up. “Ben hasn’t had his hair this short since I’ve known him. And Bazine’s hair is too long- it’s got to be an old picture.” 

“But the article-“ 

“Who am I supposed to trust? The man I’m going to marry, or his crazy ex girlfriend? I can spot ten lies in her article off of the top of my head without rereading it. She’s full of shit.” Rey insisted. Her chest still felt oddly tight, her eyes were stinging. “What man would to so far as to purchase a house for his fiancée if he was cheating on her in Europe?” 

“A man who doesn’t want you to know what’s going on.” Rose pointed out. Her phone buzzed in Rey’s hand. 

“Pizza is here.” 

“I’ll go get it. You take a minute.” Rose patted her shoulder. “Look; I trust Ben. I know him and everything she was saying seemed out of character for him, I’ll admit. But I want you to be safe, and if he’s just acting like some stupid Kriff boy who can’t wait a few weeks to dip his wick-“ 

“Rose? Pizza?” Rey reminded her. 

“Right. Pizza. I’ll be right back.” Rose was up off the couch and out of the room in seconds flat. 

And Rey couldn’t stop staring at the image at the head of the article. It had to be old- it had to be! She could count a half dozen differences between the Ben in this picture and the Ben she knew and loved. But even an old picture of her fiancée with another woman was difficult to stomach. She glanced at her own phone, but the only message was from Ben, telling her he’d text her after the concert. The post time of the article was less than an hour ago, and Ben wouldn’t have seen it if he’d been busy looking at a house and obstinately refusing to read any material about the Knights. 

But what motive could Bazine Netal have for giving the interview to begin with? 

And filled with things Rey knew were lies! 

“Okay, pizza is here!” Rose set the pizza boxes and bag of drinks on the floor in front of the sofa. “Now tell me what you’re thinking?” 

“She is lying. About everything.” Rey said firmly. “From how their relationship ended to what’s going on with them now, all of it is lies. Like, she says she barely knows me? She doesn’t know me at all! Ben’s never had a vasectomy- and he’s the one who finally ended it after he caught her poking holes in condoms after she found out his net worth! And that was just one of the crazy things she did!” 

“Damn- that’s like, Insane insane!” Rose scoffed. “You’ve got to stop looking at the picture Rey, you’re going to make yourself freak out. Hand it over.” She did, reluctantly. “Good. Now, let’s get some food in you. It’s been a long day.” They dug into their pizza and sides, using napkins instead of plates- something that would’ve made Leia shudder had she been home. “He’s in love with you, you know? I don’t think he ever viewed you as a younger sibling.” 

“He didn’t.” Rey nodded, and took a huge bite of her pizza. “I’m telling you, she’s spun a load of shit! There’s no question about that in my mind- the question is why is she doing it?” 

“Well…” Rose hesitated as she took another bite of pizza. “I don’t know all the details of course, But it seems to me, from the details you’ve told me, she’s sort of a...fame slut? Maker, I hate referring to another woman as any kind of slut, but I couldn’t figure out what else to call her!” 

“She does love the idea of fame more than she ever loved Ben, that’s for sure.” Rey nodded. “That’s why she wanted Ben to confess to being Kylo Ren so badly- after all, why date a millionaire studio musician disgraced son of a senator, when you could be dating one of music's biggest stars.” 

“Exactly- and Ben’s a hot commodity right now Rey. He’s in every magazine, every tabloid, all the blogs, Hell, even the news! It’s speculation about him breaking his mask, about his mother running for office, about if he’s as attractive to women now that he’s unmasked. Of course she’d want to link her name with his.” 

“Then why say all of the negative shit about his temper?” 

“Well, now she gets to play it from different angles. If they “stay together” she’s the one who rehabilitated him and got him to settle down. If they “break up” she’s the victim of an abusive relationship. The saint who tried but couldn’t cope, even for love.” 

“Ben would never-“ 

“I know that! Anyone who knows Ben at all would know that, Rey. But he’s always been so closed off and surly with reporters, even when he was a teen with his mom. His big reveal article was clipped and polite, but that hardly revealed anything about him.” Rose shrugged. “And I don’t know that that’s Bazine’s plan. It’s just what seems likely to me.” 

“I wish I could talk to Ben about this!” She sighed. A glance at the clock told her she still had a few hours left before he’d be able to answer any calls. 

“I want to talk to Gwen. About kicking Bazine’s ass together when they get home.” Rose said seriously. “Who the hell does she think she is, calling you a street rat? The things she implied-“ 

>“I know, I’m mad too! But it’s not like kicking her ass would actually change anything.” Rey insisted. “Where did people even catch us together? We hardly went anywhere except doctors appointments after the accident, and before then no one knew who Ben was.” 

“Correction, no one knew who Kylo Ren was. Ben has been in the spotlight since he was a baby because of his famous family. Yeah, his spotlight faded a little when he distanced himself from them, but people still knew who he was.” Rose took a long swig of her Diet Coke. “Hard core Jedi or Sith fans who knew he was Anakin's grandson, people who idolize Leia, even Luke Skywalker’s fans. Maybe they took a picture because seeing him was kind of cool, but he wasn’t famous enough in his own right to ask for a picture or an autograph. But now that hes also Kylo Ren, any picture of him is interesting, is buzz creating, is postable!” 

“That...actually, that makes sense.” Rey nodded slowly. “How popular is the source of that interview?” 

“Coruscant magazine?” Rose asked, arching a brow. “Pretty damn popular Rey.” 

“So even though this dropped in the last two hours-“ 

“It’s likely that a ton of people have seen it, yes.” Rose said sympathetically. 

“Fan-krifing-tastic! So now the whole world is going to figure out that I’m the street rat whore who beloved Bazine was talking about, and no ones going to believe Ben is the father of my baby- and even when we’re married, I’m going to be the bitch who broke them up!” Rey groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“You know, you’re a very low profile person. You don’t have any social media, or an address under your own name right now or anything. Finding anything on you would be extremely difficult.” Rose pointed out. “Oh- kaydel just texted.” 

“She saw?” Rey asked, not opening her eyes. 

“She saw. She says she’s on her way here right now, wants to know should she bring the boys?” 

“She might as well. Misery loves company and all that.” Rey sighed. Rose shot off a text and set her phone aside. 

“Come on- have a Cinnamon roll! Remember, no sad, just carbs?” Rose prodded gently. “Desert makes everything better.” 

“I haven’t finished my pizza.” 

“So it’s a mid meal dessert break! And then you can have another when you’re done with the pizza- it’s a brilliant plan! There are no rules anymore, we’re adults,  
Dessert can be eaten whenever we like! Down with the patriarchy! Viva la revolution!” Rose declared. A startled laugh bubbled through Rey’s lips. 

“What?!” 

“I don’t know- I was just going to keep spouting nonsense until you cracked a smile.” Rose shrugged, her shoulders shaking with laughter. 

“Thanks.” 

“It’s what best friends do! Now, what movie do we want to watch? We have the whole Shmi Skywalker collection at our fingertips! Even the rare ones with only one dvd issue!” Rose beamed. 

“Of course Leia has them, that’s her grandmother Rose!” Rey chuckled. 

“Let’s watch one we’ve never seen- ooh! Calamity Jane?” Rose asked, plucking the case from the shelf. 

“That sounds good to me.” Rey agreed. She glanced at her phone again, reminding herself that Ben wouldn’t be able to text her yet. But oh, she wished he would. Rose put the movie in and plopped back onto the sofa, grabbing Rey’s Christmas blanket from the nearby arm chair and throwing it over their laps. She then proceeded to haul their garlic knots and cinnamon rolls up to sit between them, for snacking convenience, and they let themselves get lost in the story of Calamity Jane, played by a young and bright Doris Day, and Katie, the want to be show girl played by a young and lovely Shmi Skywalker. In the face of the woman on the screen, she could see traces of Leia and Ben- the poised way she carried herself, a few features here and there. Her voice was every bit as lovely as Rey remembered it being, her speaking voice rich and clear if not a bit accented. She played someone so dainty and timid, but Rey knew that that woman, her child’s great, great grandmother, had bones of steel and the courage of a lion inside of her. The movie had just about wrapped up when Rose got another text. 

“Kaydel says they’re outside. I’ll go let them in.” She darted out of the room, and Luna decided that was her cue to start kicking. 

“Oh hello there Luna Annie- I was beginning to wonder when you’d wake up from your nap!” Rey crooned pleasantly to her bump. Another little kick landed against her hand, and she smiled despite the heavy feeling in her chest. “Don’t you worry baby girl, mama is okay. Everything is going to be alright, you’ll see.” 

“Alright, tell me how to find this bitch and I will destroy her with my bare hands!” Kaydel called as she stormed into the room. 

“Woah, Kay, take a breath!” Rose huffed. 

“No! No one gets to trash our Rey and our Ben like this! Absolutely not!” 

“Hey peanut.” Finn said softly as he took a seat beside her. He put his arm around her shoulder, and looked her in the eye. “Are you okay?” And that was all it took to have her crying into his shoulder. 

“Sorry-“ 

“No, it’s okay. Let it all out peanut. I’ve been told I have great shoulders for crying on.” Finn said jovially. She laughed, a sort of hiccuping sound between sobs. 

“It’s true. They’re nice and broad, a good place to bury your face if you’re crying.” Rose said softly. She knelt by Rey’s feet, and laid her head on her knee. Kaydel sat next to Rose on the floor, laying a comforting hand on Rey’s leg. That’s how Poe found them when he strolled in two minutes later with a carton of pistachio ice cream and a spoon. 

“I believe ice cream is just what the doctor ordered.” He said grandly, Handing it to her with a flourish. “M’lady!” 

“Wow, That smells so good!” Rey managed, her sobbing tapering off a bit into odd snuffling noises. 

“We sprung for the expensive stuff from that gourmet shop. It’s on the drive, so we thought why not.” Kay shrugged. 

“T-thanks.” Rey murmured, straightening herself out just enough to grab hold of the spoon and shovel a heap of the dessert into her mouth. “Mph- she’s kicking!” She grabbed Finn’s hand and tugged it to her belly, pressing it to the spot the kicks had been landing. 

“Woah- okay- there is like, an actual living thing inside of you!” Finn laughed. “She’s got strong little legs, huh?” 

“She’s all rested up. She’s been sleeping most of the day I think.” Rey smiled. “She’s got her schedule all backwards. Poe, do you want to feel?” 

“Okay.” He agreed, and Finn moved his hand away to let Poe have a turn feeling the little kicks. “Aww, look at that, your little sex result saying hello!” 

“Babe, don’t call people’s children their sex result!” Kaydel laughed. 

“Why not? It’s an accurate statement!” 

“Not all accurate statements should be spoken out loud Nerfherder!” Rose groaned. “Like, I don’t go around pointing out that Kaydel is about ten points out of your league!” 

“Rosie, you’ve wounded me!” Poe gasped. “But you’re right, my fiancée is a complete smoke show! Seeing her naked is a straight up religious experience!” 

“Ugh, I always forget how gross you two are!” Finn grimaced playfully. Rey laughed quietly around a mouthful of ice cream. 

“But also, the baby has an actual name, babe, so weird, even accurate nicknames are not needed. Isn’t that right Luna?” Kay smiled as she patted Rey’s belly. She caught Rey’s eyes, her own shining with concern. “Have you talked to Ben?” 

“Concert night. Another hour and fifteen before he gets his phone back.” Rey shrugged, feeling anything but casual. “It’s possible he doesn’t have a clue, since the publish time was during his concert.” 

“That bitch. That absolute bitch!” Kaydel hissed. 

“And her bastard manager- don’t tell me that physcopath wouldn’t have planned it exactly like this!” Poe crossed his arms over his chest. “Even if Ben could find a way to get the article taken down, there’s no way thousands of people won’t have seen, shared, and saved it before the concert is over.” 

“It’s slander, that’s what it is! Rey should be able to sue her for what she said about her!” 

“What? That I’m a promiscuous street rat?” Rey rolled her eyes. “Finn, I can’t go around suing everyone who doesn’t like me!” 

“But you can sue people who do it publicly.” Rose interjected. 

“If anyone would have a case against her it’s Ben- she basically called him an abusive hot head asshole who she can’t stop loving- and Ben may have a temper, and sure, maybe he’s smashed a few bottles here and there when he was drinking, but he’s a good guy. A good guy who doesn’t deserve to get dragged through mud like that.” Poe insisted. 

“Even if we did have a case against her, I’d want to talk to Ben before I made any choices. And Ben’s so wrapped up in all of the legal garbage with first order as it is, I can’t imagine a single article is going to be much worth his time.” Rey insisted right back. 

“I bet it will be.” Finn said simply. 

“Oh? Why’s that?” Rey asked. 

“Because it’s not just an article about him, Rey. It’s insulting to you, even if it never mentions you by name, it hurt you. And if there’s one thing I know for sure about Ben Solo, it’s that he wouldn’t be able to stand by and watch someone hurt you in any way. It’s just not in his blood.” Finn explained. “I know he and I have a...somewhat uneasy friendship, but I know him well enough to know you’re safe with him. And he won’t let something that degrades you stand. He just wont.” 

“It’s not worth the trouble!” Rey huffed, her secret fear slipping out. 

“Rey Rey, Babe. When are you going to figure out that you’re worth the trouble? You’re always worth the trouble, because we all love you!” Rose cried exasperatedly. “We’d all do anything for you, because that’s what a family does- and Ben, Ben would do more than any of us. You are worth any amount of trouble, because you’re one of us.” 

“A member of the weirdest little family where Poe and I have dibs on being the fun Aunt and Uncle.” Kaydel grinned. 

“Eternal dibs!” Poe seconded. “I’ll be the one who’s drunk in all of your wedding pictures so you have something good to laugh at years from now.” 

“And we’ll all drop whatever we’re doing on a Saturday night because you maybe might need us.” Finn added. “Because you’re worth it.” 

“You’re all going to make me cry again- I hate crying!” Rey sniffled, trying to disguise the tears by eating more ice cream. 

“I’ll cry too if it will make you feel better!” Rose offered cheerfully. Rey’s phone started buzzing, and her stomach dropped- but it was too early for Ben to call- her friends were all with her- who would be calling? “Do you want me to look?” She nodded mutely. “Oh, it’s just Leia.” She pressed the phone into Rey’s hand, and Rey picked up. 

“Hello?” Rey greeted, her voice still wobbly with unshed tears somewhere between joyful because of her friends and miserable because of that article. 

“Oh sweet girl- It sounds like you’ve seen it?” Leia sighed on the other end of the line. Rey nodded silently for a moment before remembering Leia couldn’t see her. 

“Yes, I’ve seen it. How did you find it?” Rey asked. 

“My security detail has alerts for any time any of our family shows up online or in the media. They pass along anything noteworthy. Artoo sent it along to Han and I with a note that it could be urgent.” Leia explained. “I’m sorry Rey, this must be difficult for you.” 

“It must be difficult for you to see such things written about your son.” Rey pointed out. 

“Of course it is. But no where near as difficult as it would be for my son’s fiancee to read all of the garbage that woman was spewing.” Leia practically growled. “I passed the article on to Amilyn- she thinks we may have grounds for a defamation suit, if that’s what Ben wants. I’m waiting until he calls me to give her any kind of go ahead.” 

“His concert will still be going.” 

“I know. And I expect he’ll get back to you before he gets back to me.” 

“What’s defamation?” Poe asked, a bit loudly, and Kaydel elbowed him and shushed him. 

“Who’s that?” Leia asked. 

“Oh, it was Poe. And Finn and Kaydel are here too- they drove out after they...after they read the article.” Rey explained. 

“Oh good! I’m glad you’re not alone! Tell them I insist they stay the night, it’s too late for any of you to be driving back to the city. Yes, I know they’re all adults, but they’d best listen to mama Leia.” 

“Okay, I’ll tell them.” Rey smiled softly. 

“Good. Han and I should be home in about an hour or so. And we love you kiddo.” 

“I love you guys too.” 

“Alright dear, we’ll see you soon.” The call ended. 

“You’re all staying here tonight. Leia insisted on it.” Rey sniffed. “She was very serious about it too. She’ll probably kick your asses if you try to leave.” 

“I would not doubt it- Mama Leia can be scary! You should’ve seen her when she caught Ben and I trying to steal from their liquor cabinet.” Poe shuddered. “I will never, ever disobey her again, I don’t care if I am a thirty two year old man, I will not be crossing Leia Organa.” 

“Well you don’t get to be so prominent in the political field by being a wuss!” Rose chuckled. 

“What did she say about the article?” Finn asked. 

“That Amilyn thinks Ben could sue for defamation if he wanted to.” 

“And again, Defamation is?” 

“Just a fancy word for slander, basically.” Rose explained. “And that article didn’t exactly paint Ben in a flattering light. Not to mention it was full of lies.” 

“And Amilyn Holdo is a force of nature!” Poe chuckled. “She was good friends with my mom when I was growing up- Once Amilyn set her mind to something, there wasn’t a thing on earth that could stop her from getting it done.” 

“I still don’t know that he’ll want to get into another battle with Snoke- The plan was to keep an uneasy peace, keep his head down, and finish his contract with minimal drama or duties.” Rey traced those little circles on her belly. 

“And I already told you, that was before you and Luna were dragged into it!” Finn insisted. “Do you honestly think protective, proud, stubborn Ben Solo is going to let his daughter come into the world with people questioning her parentage?” 

“Hell no he’s not!” Kaydel banged her fist on the coffee table. “Ben Solo has “proud dad” written all over him- he’s not going to let anyone spread any lies about Luna before she’s even here.” 

“I think- Well...I hope you’re right.” Rey bit her lip. “But we know the truth. That’s what really matters. I...I don’t really care what the world thinks of me. If he’s going to fight this, I want him to fight it for his own sake. Because he deserves to be treated better.” Rose took her hand, and Rey clung to it tightly. 

“All that’s going to matter to that man when he calls you is that you know that’s an old picture, and you believe that everything that Witch is saying is a lie.” Rose assured her. 

“It’s definitely an old picture- Like, Don’t get me wrong, he still looked strong in it, but he fills out a henley much better these days.” Kaydel shrugged. 

“Also, you could see his ears, which means he was still growing it out after the last time Leia cut his hair for him, so it would’ve been relatively early on in their relationship.” Poe pointed out. 

“Um, not to mention there were valentines day decorations up in the background?” Finn added. 

“Were there?” Rose asked. 

“Little paper hearts, yeah.” Finn nodded. 

“Huh, I didn’t notice.” Rose frowned. 

“To be fair, it was easier to get distracted by the sight of- of the foreground.” Kay stammered. 

“Can we stop talking about the picture, please?” Rey grumbled. “It isn’t news to me that Ben would’ve kissed and slept with Bazine, or any of his ex girlfriends, for that matter, but I don’t care to imagine it- much less think of the fact that I’ve now seen him kissing that- that” 

“Succubus?” Rose suggested. 

“Stone cold bitch?” Poe added. 

“Artificial nosed, boob job barbie?” Kaydel mused. 

“Garbage human being?” Finn offered. 

“Putting her down isn’t going to make me feel better, guys.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“Are you sure about that?” Kaydel arched a brow at her. 

“...Putting her down isn’t going to make me feel that much better, guys.” Rey amended, and her friends laughed. “But seriously, I don’t want to sink to her level. I’m a mom now- I’m trying to be a better person.” 

“Well I’m not a mom yet, and I say she’s an absolute-” 

“Kaydel, Be careful what you say- Luna can hear in there now you know.” Rose interrupted. 

“Oh please, she might be able to hear voices, but she can’t comprehend words! She wouldn’t know I was calling someone a-” 

“BLEEP!” Poe cried, putting a hand over Kay’s mouth. He chuckled as she stared at him indignantly. “Little ears babe! Why do- Ow!” He pulled his hand away and Kay started laughing. “Kriff- that was hard!” 

“Did you just bite your fiancee?” Finn asked. 

“Absolutely I did.” Kay shrugged. She pulled Poe’s hand back to her lips and kissed his palm gently. “Sorry babe, but you did put your hand over my mouth.” 

“Fair is fair.” Poe sighed. Rey shifted uncomfortably, a whine of annoyance escaping her throat. 

“What- what is it?” Rose asked. 

“Nothing! I just have to pee again! And I want peppermint tea so badly-” 

“Well we can scrape up some peppermint tea for sure.” Poe said confidently. “The layout of the kitchen can’t be that much different from when I was a kid. But the first issue is all on you.” 

“I know.” Rey sighed. “Give me a hand?” Finn sprung to his feet and pulled her up effortlessly. She grabbed her phone from the arm of the couch and headed for the bathroom. 

“You want any sugar in that tea?” Rose called after her. 

“No, just tea is fine!” She called over her shoulder. She looked down at her belly, and ran a hand over the swell. “You, moonbeam, had better be really stinking cute.” A little nudge landed just above her belly button, and her heart melted. “Or just really healthy and happy. I’ll take that too.” She finished up in the bathroom and headed to the movie room again, finding it empty. She sunk down onto the loveseat again, and hauled her feet up underneath her body. She looked at her phone again, willing Ben’s picture to pop up on it. Just hearing his voice right now would help her immeasurably. She unlocked the phone and found the recording of Moon River he’d sent her just a few days ago to play against her belly on the nights he couldn’t call her, and hit play. His sweet, rich voice washed over her like a balm. She closed her eyes and let herself imagine he was there beside her, kneeling before her, his lips pressed to her belly so that the words were muffled against her skin. Unbidden, new tears formed in the corners of her eyes- she missed him, she missed him so much- That wasn’t news, of course- but now the idea of him being so far from her, and so close to Bazine made her chest tight. The first tear had just slipped down her cheek when the recording stopped abruptly, interrupted by the buzz of an incoming call, and Ben’s soft smile staring at her from the screen. She scrambled to answer it, her fingers trembling as she attempted to hit accept call. 

“Ben, I was so-” 

“Rey, I’m so-” They spoke at once, and fell silent in unison. She heard a trembling exhale on his end, and she pressed her hand to her heart. “Rey, I’m so sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” She scoffed. “You didn’t do anything.” 

“But the article-” 

“Are you okay?” She asked tremulously. 

“What?” 

“That article was full of very hurtful things, Ben. Reputation damaging things.” She said evenly. “Are you okay?” 

“I...Honestly, I don’t know.” He admitted brokenly. “Not everything she said was a lie. My temper was terrible back then- I did smash plates. I did punch a hole in a wall. Just once- but it did happen. I was out of contact with my parents then. We talked about the future in an abstract sort of way. I did tell her I didn’t want kids, Because I didn’t want them with her. I certainly didn’t want them at that stage of my life- But, Kriff, Rey, I want our kid. I want a family and a future with you, and I promise you I’ve been alone with Bazine exactly the one time I told you about last week, when she cornered me after our show, and Mitka interrupted to tell me I had to go talk to the press. I promise I didn’t kiss her-” 

“Ben, I know that.” She promised him. 

“You do?” he sounded so relieved. 

“Of course- Why do you always seem so afraid that I’m going to be angry? That I’m going to leave? Haven’t I proven I’m in this forever?” She asked softly. 

“You have, absolutely, Rey, sweetheart.” He assured her. “It’s just hard for me to believe I’m worthy of you.” 

“That’s funny, because our friends just spent a solid ten minutes trying to convince me I was worthy of you.” She laughed, and she heard a little huff on his end. “We make quite a pair, don’t we?” 

“We do.” He hummed. “Do you...Have any questions?” 

“Do you want me to have questions?” 

“I don’t know- I just want to keep the vow of open communication.” 

“You’ve already told me the details of your time with Bazine. I don’t…” She bit her lip. “Actually, I do have one question.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “She mentioned that your favorite...um, position was-” 

“You don’t have to repeat what she said.” He was grimacing, she could tell. 

“Right. Well- you were with her for a long time, and that’s how you enjoyed it most, but we’ve only done that position a handful of times- is it...Is it because I’m not good like that? Not as good as she was?” Rey asked, her stomach dropping as she waited for his answer. 

“Out of the entire article, that’s the question you come up with?” He asked. 

“Well, we’ve never talked about your sexual past- by my choice, I know, but now I can’t stop thinking about-” 

“Do you know why I liked her like that?” He growled. “It was because most of the time, when we slept together, it was something angry- rough- an extension of whatever our latest fight was- and if she was on her hands and knees I didn’t have to see her face- I didn’t have to look into her eyes. I didn’t have to kiss her or caress her, and she liked it better like that too. Because it’s like I said to you once, I don’t think we ever really loved each other at all. We both just used each other for selfish reasons, Rey. It’s messed up, but it’s true. And it was toxic.” 

“So it’s not because I’m...inadequate?” She concluded. 

“Absolutely not! Rey…” He let out a long breath. “When I’m with you, When I’m making love to you, I want to see your face. I want to hold your eyes and kiss every inch of your skin I can reach, and taste you on my tongue. I want to see the way your lips part when I hit that spot inside of you, and I want to feel your nails in my back. Because making love to you is more intense, more pleasurable, more everything than anything I’ve ever had with anyone else. I swear on my life. Not that I don’t also enjoy when we do get a little rough, I do, very much- Very, very much, but-” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it.” She smiled, and laid her free hand on her burning cheek. “I’m sorry I made you explain any of it, I just felt insecure- and you’re so far away, and I needed-” 

“Hey, I promised you, anything you needed, any time you needed it.” He said soothingly. “And I will never tire of talking about you.” 

“Ben…” 

“What? I won’t.” he insisted. “I adore you, Rey Jakkson. With every fiber of my being.” 

“Oh Ben…” She sighed. “Ben, what are you going to do about this?” 

“I don’t know yet.” 

“Your mother said she left you a message about what Amilyn said-” 

“Rey, I’ve been off stage a total of half an hour. Long enough to get back to my dressing room, peel off my costume, hop in the shower, turn my phone back on, read the article that no less than five people have sent me the link to, and then I called you immediately. I didn’t look that closely at any messages, not even from my mother. I just had to make sure you were okay.” 

“I’m a lot better, now that I’ve heard your voice.” 

“Me too.” 

“You really should read what your mom sent you.” Rey suggested. “And call me back when you have. We can talk about what you want to do.” 

“I’m not ready to give you up just yet.” He sighed. 

“Just a few minutes, Love. You probably will need to call your mother- They’re on their way back from dinner, but your dad is driving, so she’ll be able to take your call. You need to make a game plan, Ben, no matter what course of action you choose.” 

“Why are you always right?” He grumbled. 

“Because I’m your future wife.” She said with a sudden burst of cheeriness. 

“My future wife.” He repeated dreamily. 

“Go on and read what your mom has to say. Give her a call.” 

“And then call you to discuss my game plan.” He completed. 

“You’ve got it. I love you, Ben.” She said firmly. “Always.” 

“I love you too. I’ll text before I call in case you’re asleep. You do need rest you know, for you and the baby.” 

“A good idea, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep yet. Though our friends did go to make me some tea, which usually does make me sleepy. BUt even then I’d get up in a few hours to pee.” 

“Well, whenever I talk to you, it’ll be soon.” He promised her. “I love you both.” 

“And we love you.” 

“Bye sweetheart.” 

“Bye Ben.” 


	28. Pour Some Sugar On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“...send me a picture.” She said quickly.
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “You don’t have to-“
> 
> “You want a picture of me covered in sweat because I was trying to run and then box away my tension?” He scoffed. “It’s not a great look- my shirt is sticking to me.”
> 
> “Oh Maker, please send me a picture!” She groaned. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a hot minute since I updated- I needed to take some time to think a few things out, and really just get back in the right head space for writing. Updates will be coming at you once a week- I really want to keep doing twice a week, but it's just not possible for me right now! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little tidbit that's just a little bit of lemony fluff!

“Amilyn’s working on it now. She has a meeting with Snoke this afternoon.” Ben said. Rey had her phone pinned between her shoulder and her ear as she poked around for a somewhat healthy snack. Whipped cream could be counted eaten on top of fresh fruit, couldn’t it? She decided it could as she plucked some from the fridge. 

“Are you nervous?” Rey asked.

“Maybe a bit. The last thing I need right now is for Snoke to make life more chaotic.” He sighed. “But Amilyn says she has a contingency plan?”

“Oh?”

“Yes- I’d elaborate, but she wouldn’t go into it because she says back ups are for when you’re going to lose, and she doesn’t plan on losing.”

“She sounds bad ass- how come I’ve never met her?”

“Because she’s constantly busy. She may be the Skywalker Organa lawyer of choice, and an old family friend, but our family aren’t her only clients. Not by a mile. But you will meet her. Apparently mother deemed her a close enough family friend to invite her to the wedding- and honestly, after everything she’s done for me over the last month, she has probably earned a place.” 

“Well I look forward to meeting her.” She dosed her fruit with a liberal amount of whipped cream.

“What is that?” 

“What?”

“That noise?”

“Oh, right- it’s whipped cream. But I’m eating it on fruit, so it’s a healthy snack!” She insisted.

“Was I going to judge you if it wasn’t?” He chuckled. 

“Well I wouldn’t want you to think I was over here getting fat.” 

“For makers sake, Rey, you’re not fat! You’re a healthy weight for a woman who is over halfway through her pregnancy- and you look fantastic!”

“I know- I just...Ive met a fair number of your past girlfriends or hookups, and they’ve all been very...dainty?”

“Hold on- are you- are you afraid I’m not going to be attracted to you because you’ve put on a little weight? Rey…” He sighed heavily. 

“Well, I’ve seen your type- I used to be your type-“

“You are my type, Rey. You could gain three hundred pounds and you’d still be my type. I didn’t fall in love with you because of how you looked- which isn’t to say I don’t love the way you look, because I always do, but I mean that I fell in love with you because of your personality. Your wit, how clever and resilient you are. How kind, despite all of the ways life has been cruel to you. I love how much you love our daughter, and how brave and strong you are. I love you, Rey. Just you. All of you, no matter how much or how little of it there is.” 

“In that case I’m adding more whipped cream...and chocolate chips to this.” She smiled, and he chuckled when the whipped cream can made a noise again. “It’s just hard not to worry when I keep putting on weight and switching out clothes that won’t fit, you know? Some days I see myself in a mirror and I feel like I’m glowing- gorgeous, even. But then some days I just see the weight I’ve put on- not the purpose of it.”

“It’s a very important purpose sweetheart. Very important. And when I’m home I’ll leave you with no room to doubt that you are gorgeous, and you always will be.” She grabbed a bag of semi sweet chocolate chips from the baking cabinet and sprinkled a handful on top of her fruit and whipped cream. 

“I think I have to admit this is just dessert now.” 

“Good, you’re the mother of my child, you should be getting everything your heart desires.” 

“Maybe it’s good you’re not here- you’d just be spoiling me rotten.” 

“Guilty as charged.”

“Though, I do miss you quite a bit. I’d much rather have you home.” She shoveled a bite of her snack into her mouth before she grabbed the bowl and headed to the sofa in the sitting room.

“Home- right, that reminds me, the house we were looking at- I’ve heard back from our realtor, and apparently they’re already receiving offers for the place. Good offers. He said he doesn’t know if it will stay on the market until I’m home.” 

“Okay- so what do we do?” She asked as she put her feet up on the ottoman. 

“That depends.”

“On?”

“How much we like the house.” He paused, and she waited for him to continue as she took another bite of fruit and cream. “Rey, I really like the look of the place. It’s been thoroughly inspected, so if we bought it we wouldn’t be in for any big surprises or anything like that. It’s got plenty of room for our family- room to grow if we ever decided to.”

“Room to grow?” She asked softly.

“Well- I know we hadn’t discussed it much- we’ve been so busy with planning for Luna, with our lives in general. But I do think I’d like to have more than one kid- even if the others are adopted children, I just don’t ever want Luna to feel lonely.” He explained. “Not that I think we’ll be absentee parents or anything, but I always wanted siblings growing up, playmates my own age instead of the nannies I always had around, you know? Things got better once I was school aged, but...“

“Ben, I’d love to have more kids. Biological or adopted, I’d want them, and I’d love them.” Rey said, her heart glowing. “I think we could be happy. Just the three of us, of course, but I also think we’ve got enough love, enough resources to have a big family. And I’ve always imagined a bigger family for myself- it’s one of the reasons I got so scared when they told me about my tiny window of opportunity in the procreation department. Not that I think I have to carry the child to love them- every kid deserves a loving home. A safe home.”

“I want a big family too, Rey. Very much. And I’ll love every kid we have, no matter where they come from.” He insisted. “As for your limited biological window-“

“I’d like to try to have at least one more.” She interjected. “I know it’s hard to believe given the weight induced almost melt down I just had in the kitchen, but I actually do like being pregnant. I’d like to have this experience again, morning sickness and all.”

“So what does that mean for us?” He asked.

“I guess it means that after Luna comes, and I get the go ahead from the doctor, maybe we just...let whatever happens happen? We don’t try, necessarily, but we don’t stop anything? If I got pregnant fast, I know they’d be close in age, but maybe that’d be good? Exhausting but good?”

“Exhausting but good.” He agreed. “So, the house, Rey?”

“I like how it looked online- maybe your mother and I can go take a look at it in person? When she’s not in meetings or conferences that is.” 

“I think we can arrange that. Probably a good idea for one of us to actually see it in person before we buy it anyways. I’ll tell you what the realtor says.” 

“I’d still want the orange carpeting gone.” 

“You say that like I’m a proud supporter of a burnt orange seventies shag carpet.” He laughed. “We can do any renovations or redecorating we deem necessary. We’ll probably have to buy some new furniture too, especially if we’re keeping the penthouse in the city.”

“I think we should, for now at least. Unfortunately you’ll still have business in the city for a few more months, and it’d be easier there than a long commute both ways.” 

“A good point. I don’t mind keeping it. We uh, well, Artoo figured out where the last bug was.”

“Where?” She asked, her body tensing.

“Remember how I smashed my phone when you were in the hospital?” 

“Yeah?”

“Well, I had my parents get me a new one while I was staying in the hospital with you. They took the smashed one and had Artoo check it out. Turns out it was transmitting audio and data back to “an unknown source” but it’s pretty clear where that was.” 

“He tapped your phone?”

“To be fair it was a gift from the first order. Every time there’s an upgrade in technology or a new release from the phone company, we get new ones issued by First Order tech, some sort of product endorsement deal. It’s been going on so long that I just didn’t think anything of it. This is the first time since I signed my contract that I’ve had a phone that wasn’t just given to me by the First Order.”

“This is all so kriffing messed up!” She growled. 

“Yes- I tipped off Hux and Phas, they sent their phones to Artoo for inspection, and picked up new ones this morning. We’ll see if he’s tapping all phones or just mine.” 

“Honestly I don’t know which would make me angrier at this point.” She took another massive bite of her fruit and set the bowl aside, her next sentence nearly unintelligible as she spoke with her mouth full. “Either way I’m mad.”

“I’m mad too- I can’t believe how stupid I was.”

“You were young-“

“I was only a little younger than you are now, Rey. I was plenty old enough to know I should’ve read contracts closely and paid attention to the rumors about the label I was signing myself to.” 

“Maybe, but after what you’d just gone through with your uncle, you were eager to distance yourself from your family and First Order was the first label to give you the opportunity. Of course you jumped on it.”

“How are you so understanding?” He said fondly. 

“Because I love you, I know you, and I understand you.” She said slowly, deliberately. 

“I love you, so much.” He sighed. “I’ve got to go- I have a photo shoot with the band soon, and I need to grab a shower.”

“Isn’t it a little late there for you not to have showered? You’re a morning showerer.”

“Yeah, but I was at the gym until you called. I’m all sweaty and gross.” He chuckled.

“...send me a picture.” She said quickly.

“What?”

“You don’t have to-“

“You want a picture of me covered in sweat because I was trying to run and then box away my tension?” He scoffed. “It’s not a great look- my shirt is sticking to me.”

“Oh Maker, please send me a picture!” She groaned. “You look so good when you’re all sweaty- which just isn’t fair! But you look sexy as Kriff, and I want a picture.”

“As if I’d ever deny you anything I could give you so easily.” He said gruffly. 

“I want you so badly you have no idea.” She said breathily. 

“I think I have some idea.” He choked. 

“You’ve never experienced the pregnancy hormones I am right now.” She pointed out. “And they are making me desperate.”

“I’m sorry I’m not there to help.” He said, his voice a blend of low arousal and genuine regret. 

“So am I.” She sighed. “I’ll let you go now.”

“I’ll send you that picture sweetheart.”

“You don’t have-“

“I want to. If I’m not there to lend a hand and you have to take care of things yourself, I want you thinking of me the whole time. I want you wishing for my hands, my fingers, my-“

“Ben! As if I’d ever think of someone else.” She was getting well and truly worked up now, unideal since even though she was alone, she was in the living room of her future in laws house. She pushed herself up off the sofa and made her way towards her bedroom. 

“What do you think about Rey?” He asked, his voice gruff. 

“You- just you- You’ve- Kriff, you’ve woken something in me that I didn’t know- didn’t think could exist!” She laid back against the mattress and awkwardly reached around her belly to the waistband of her maternity leggings. “I think about you- shit!” She groaned, leaning her head back. The phone slid from its place between her ear and her shoulder, landing on the bed with a bounce.

“Are you touching yourself now, sweetheart?” He asked, his deep voice just loud enough to be heard. 

“Mm-mmhm.” She whimpered. “Ben!”

“Kriff, Rey- you have no idea-“

“Tell me.” She begged. 

“You make me so incredibly hard- I can’t kriffing stand it sweetheart- can’t think of anything but the way you looked riding me the night before I left- ugh- the way your perfect, mouthwatering tits we’re just bouncing in my face-“

“Ben!” She gasped, moving her fingers faster. His breath was labored, and she let out a quiet moan. “I think about your tongue- everywhere-“

“And your little hands braced on my chest, looking so kriffing small-“

“Oh!” She felt it come on so suddenly it stole her breath completely. She never finished as well without him as she did with him, but damn if this wasn’t as close as she’d ever gotten. Her body felt relaxed, and for a moment all of her stressful thoughts vanished entirely. Through the faint roar rushing in her ears, she could hear Ben let out a primal sort of sound between a grunt and a shout, and she picked up the phone with fingers that seemed fumbly and slow. For a moment they both just breathed, the sound a symphony to her ears. 

“Well, That was...unexpected.” He said after the companionable silence had gone on for a while. She started laughing, and he did too- if their breathing was a symphony, the sound of their combined laughter was a beautiful aria, the sweetest music. 

“Good thing you were already planning to take a shower.” 

“Yes, except Now I’m behind schedule.” 

“Not my fault- you could’ve hung up at any time!” 

“And miss the sound of you finishing yourself off while moaning my name? Do you even know me?” He scoffed, then they laughed even harder. 

“Fair, that’s fair. But you’re the one who...took matters into your own hand over there.” 

“Yes, well...the things you do to me, even across the globe, it would seem.”

“Ben…” she felt her cheeks heat. “When you come home, we don’t leave our bed for two days, at least.”

“Two? Make it three.” He huffed. 

“Deal.” She rolled to her side and swung her legs so her feet touched the floor. “Alright. I’ll let you go shower now. Tell me what the realtor says.”

“Straight away.” He promised. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too.” She ended the call and threw her arms over her eyes as she flopped back against the bed again. Not thirty seconds later her phone buzzed- she scrambled to open Ben’s text, and nearly dropped the phone on her face when she saw the contents. It was indecent- it was absolutely indecent- it was beautiful. She sent a series of praise hand emojis followed by a half a dozen flames and then she went right back to staring at the picture again, because honestly there were no words that could possibly encompass the way that picture looked- the way it made her feel. 

She whipped off her oversized shirt and shimmied out of her maternity leggings and grabbed one of Ben’s massive flannels from the dresser. She buttoned just enough of the top so that she wasn’t technically obscene, but she showed off ample amount of her pregnancy cleavage while her baby bump proudly poked out of the shirt. Even her black boy shorts looked good with the top. She ran her fingers through her hair a few times, and quickly snapped a picture to send him before she buttoned the shirt up all the way and curled up around her pregnancy pillow for a nap. She was drifting off as his reply came through, followed by another and another, and a sleepy smile formed on her lips.  
**  
Ben Solo 💙❤️  
Kriff  
….  
Rey, you are unbelievable. So, so beautiful.  
…  
I can’t believe you’re mine. You are the perfect woman, physically, mentally, emotionally- on every level.  
…  
I adore you.  
…  
I adore the way you look so swallowed up in my clothes.  
…  
When I come home, I’m going to kiss every single inch of that golden skin.  
**

She typed off a quick reply.  
**  
I’m dozing off- love you, handsome. Talk tonight, yes? ❤️💙  
…  
Moon beam needs her live performance.**

**Ben Solo💙❤️  
Well, I wouldn’t want to disappoint heralready.  
…  
Sleep well, sweetheart.  
**  
.......  
“Okay, but can we talk about it for just like, a minute!” Rose begged. 

“No! Absolutely not!” Rey shook her head and covered her face with her hands. “I want to forget you two ever saw anything!”

“You are the one who let Rose into your phone kiddo. First rule of keeping dirty pics, don’t save them in your camera roll if you’re going to let someone else look at it!” Kaydel snickered, Though She was trying her best not to look amused. 

“I have pregnancy brain and a one track mind right now! We’re working on wedding stuff, Rose wanted to see the color pallet, the swatches are saved to my camera roll!”

“And So is a picture of a man with the BIGGEST-“

“I’m begging you not to finish that sentence Rose.” She held up her hands to stop her. “And it’s covered anyways, so-“ 

“Yeah, but that was a tent big enough for a whole pack of boy scouts to camp under!” Kaydel pointed out.

“Please don’t allude to boy scouts being any where near my fiancées junk, please and thank you.” Rey grumbled. “Ben’s going to be so pissed about this.”

“Why? We have nothing but glowing reviews!” Rose grinned. “Like, I know you hinted at him being proportional, but damn, if you didn’t mean proportional.” 

“I’m dead, I’m dead, and this is purgatory, isn’t it?” Rey groaned.

“Also, if you wanted sexy pics to send to Ben, we would’ve been more than happy to help you take some. Not that the flannel shirt thing wasn’t sexy, like, fantastic work, but non selfies just add to the oomph factor.” Kaydel shrugged. “Rose helped me take sexy pictures to send to Poe when he was on that business trip. The results were overwhelmingly positive.”

“Can we Please go back to talking about my wedding, now?” Rey begged.

“Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.” Rose said playfully. 

“Thank you.” Rey sighed. 

“Alright, lets get back to planning our best friends wedding to the man with the BIGGEST-“

“KAYDEL!”


	29. Run The World (Girls)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“She is…”
> 
> “Not what you expected?” Leia smiled. 
> 
> “No, not really.” 
> 
> “That’s part of her charm.” Han shrugged. 
> 
> “You know, originally the purple hair was an accident.” Leia chuckled. “It was the night before the first case she took after law school- she’s a natural blonde, but she got it in her head that she should be a red head- we were a little drunk so we went to the nearest all night pharmacy, and got a box of at home permanent dye. I don’t remember much after that, until we woke up the next morning and her hair was purple."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry again for the delays- I think we all know how crazy life and the world at large is right now. Everyone stay healthy, stay safe, stay strong, and stand together!

“Come let me love you, let me give my life to you- oh!” The guitar bounced forward on her lap again as the baby kicked against the front of her belly. It didn’t go far, Luna wasn’t quite that strong yet, just enough to jostle the strings out from beneath her finger tips. “Luna Annie Solo, I’m trying to practice- do you not want me to sing for your father at our wedding?” Another sharp sort of kick landed in the same spot and Rey sighed heavily. “I’ll take that as a no. Why not? Are you jealous? I sing to you all the time too, you know.” 

“Hey kid. What’s going on down here?” Han asked as he descended the steps to the basement. She set the guitar completely aside, giving up the notion of playing right now. 

“Oh, I’m just trying to get a little playing in, but someone is restless and keeps bumping the guitar out of place.” Rey said, waving her hands exasperatedly.

“Kid takes after her dad. He was always moving around too. Leia said it drove her nuts after a while, but I’d catch her smiling about it.” Han said fondly. “Sounds like she’s got strong legs though. Good and healthy.”

“Good and healthy.” Rey agreed. Han took a seat next to her on the old beat up sofa (the one they’d had when they were first married, Leia had explained, held onto for sentimental reasons). “Han? You’re going to walk me down the aisle, right?” He blinked at her. “I just realized I didn’t actually ask you, I just assumed you would.”

“It’s your wedding day, sunshine, I’ll be wherever the hell you want me to be, so long as You marry my pain in the ass son.” Han said gruffly.

“So you will walk me down the aisle then?” She asked.

“I’d be honored to, Rey. Really kriffing honored.” He nodded. She set aside the already displaced guitar and threw her arms around his shoulders and he patted her back gently. “You’re the nearest thing to a daughter I’ll ever have.”

“Well, you’ll have a granddaughter too, before too long. That’s pretty close, isn’t it?” Rey asked with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s pretty close. But it’s not like you pop the kid out and become irrelevant, Sunshine. You’re a part of this family, wedding or not.” 

“Oh, come hell or high water there will be a wedding, Han.” She laughed as she leaned back. “If you’re worried that this whole...situation is going to ruin things for us, don’t be. It’ll take a whole lot more than a crazy ex girlfriend and a psychotic band manager to scare me off.”

“That’s one of the things I like about you, sunshine. You’re as strong and determined as they come. And damn loyal too. The best girl my son could’ve ever hoped for.” Han grinned. “Don’t get me wrong, I know my son is a catch- he’s my son after all, but he can be a little shit sometimes.”

“Of course he can, he’s your son after all.” She said wryly. Han guffawed, tossing his head back. 

“Yes ma’am, you fit into this family just fine, don’t you?”

“I like to think so.” She smiled softly. He patted her shoulder.

“You do. Like a missing puzzle piece.” He assured her. “Don’t you ever forget it sunshine.” 

“I just got off the phone with Amilyn.” Leia announced as she entered the basement and descended the steps.

“Was it business or pleasure?” Han asked.

“Always both with Ami.” Leia smiled tightly. “She gave me the update on everything, since Ben gave her permission to disclose details to us.”

“And?” Rey prompted, her heart thumping unevenly, and Luna kicking up a storm as if she could sense her mother's unease. 

“Things are...frustrating.” Leia huffed. She perched elegantly on the arm of the sofa next to Han, and he set a hand on her knee. 

“Care to elaborate, sweetheart?” He asked.

“The First Order is claiming that Bazine Netal gave an unauthorized, unscheduled interview, and that they therefore are in no way responsible for any damages it might have caused.” Han barked out a disbelieving laugh, while Rey just huffed out a breath. “Which would make Bazine liable as an individual, but when Ami brought it up, the First Order lawyers insisted that the company would be defending her as its policy that any musician signed with the studio has a right to use their lawyers as council.”

“What a load of shit!” Han groaned. 

“The lawyers there are as slimy and sleazy as Snoke himself. Well, nearly. No one quite measures up to him.” Leia grimaced. 

“She couldn’t have given the interview without company permission.” Rey said suddenly, her brow furrowing.

“We all know that Rey, but-“

“No, I mean she couldn’t have, legally. she gave the interview on a day with a sound check and then a show. She gave the interview in person, at the magazine office.” Rey said slowly as she processed it. “But there’s a rule that no one leaves the stadium premises on days when it’s sound check and a concert. It’s in their contracts, for all First Order musicians. Even if she didn’t leave, which she did, since the article byline said the interview was on magazine premises on the day of the concert, they can’t have visitors unless it’s their base city until after the concert is over. And press is strictly forbidden during sound check unless they’ve received written authorization from a First Order official. And for any musician to leave for any reason they need their managers consent- and as a top artist at First Order, Bazine’s manager is also Snoke.” 

“You’re sure it’s in the contracts? That it says this is a studio wide policy?” Leia asked.

“I’m positive. They sent over an itinerary complete with a giant packet of “tour etiquette reminders” which as basically just lists of First Order policy and rules that applied special for tours.” 

“Did Ben take that with him?” Leia asked, this time more eager.

“No- Id imagine it’s still on his nightstand at the penthouse. That’s where he left it when we packed things to come here.” Han and Leia shared a look, communicating silently.

“Well, sounds like we need to get that document to Ami.” Han said after a moment. “Who fancies a ride into the city? I could go for some takodana for dinner.”

“I’m never against Takodana for dinner, but doesn’t Amilyn already have a copy of Ben’s contract?” Rey asked.

“His official contract? Yes, do you know how many pages it is? Six hundred, Rey. Six hundred pages of garbage and rules and little nuances. Amilyn’s team is combing through it with a fine toothed comb, but who knows how far in that rule is buried? If we can give her physical proof of that information in a condensed manner, it certainly would help speed up the process.” Leia explained. 

“It’s actually six hundred pages?” Rey asked, her eyes widening. Ben had once casually mentioned that the contract had been long, “like five hundred something pages”, but at the time she’d been sure he must have been exaggerating. 

“On the nose.” Leia confirmed.

“That- that’s not a contract, that’s a novel!” 

“It is. I imagine that’s how he gets his musicians so entangled. Recruiting them young and then handing them a six hundred page contract. I can think of very few young adults who would actually read it cover to cover.” Leia sighed.

“Hell, I can think of very few grown ass adults who would do more than skim it.” Han snorted. 

“Honestly unless you had the funds and resources to get yourself a legal team to comb through it, it’s very unlikely anyone would go through every page looking for red flags. And Ben was as good as broke when Snoke got to him.”

“But his trust fund-“

“Was opened to him at twenty one. And by his twenty first birthday, he’d cut us off completely. Didn’t want anything to do with the family, not even the money.” Leia explained. “It was all waiting for him when he came back, but for a while he was flat broke.”

“Of course- he told me the only thing he kept from you guys was his college tuition, paid in full. And that he and Gwen and Armitage played pubs for money. Of course he didn’t have his trust fund.” Rey nodded. So many facts she knew already, but hadn’t managed to string together on her own. It wasn’t as if Ben was keeping secrets- hed told her he’d had a rough time with everything after he split from his family. The topic was hard for him, and though he was willing to tell her anything she wanted to know, she didn’t want to bring him any additional pain, so they discussed details only once in a while. The same way he tried not to bring up the more painful aspects of her childhood, unless it was imperative for him to understand her. 

“Let’s get going.” Han rose from the sofa and gave Rey his hand to help pull her to her feet. “It’s sick, you know. The only people who would sign a six hundred page contract without reading it are people who are desperate- and you can’t convince me Snoke doesn’t kriffing know that and plays his cards just that way.”

“Of course he does- he’s a monster!” Rey agreed as they headed up the stairs. Had someone come along to Plutt’s garage when she was starving and lonely and angry all the time, and offered her a record deal, she’d probably have signed it without reading it, no matter the length of it. She wouldn’t really have been able to read it anyways, being self taught up to that point. She’d have signed it, consequences be damned, to get herself out of a bad situation. Anyone could’ve taken advantage of her, really. She imagined it was the same for a lot of desperate young people. She shivered at the thought, and thanked the Maker that it had been Ben who found her that day- that he had been good and kind, and truly cared for her wellbeing. It had been risky to climb into a car with him and let him drive her away with the promise of help and a new life. 

But her heart, her gut, every fiber of her being had told her it was okay. That she could trust Ben Solo. 

Kriff, was she glad that she had.

About two hours later found them in a booth at Takodana, menus already set aside, forgotten as they all stared at the binder they’d retrieved from the penthouse. Fifty pages of rules, restrictions, and company policy, along with an itinerary, setlists, and stadium layouts. 

“Amilyn says she’s coming personally to collect it, and grab a to go order from Maz.” Leia said as she looked at her phone. “She’ll be here in half an hour.”

“You know I haven’t seen Amilyn in person for months, at least.” Han observed.

“That’s what happens when you’re friends with the best lawyer in the state. Maybe even the country.” Leia shrugged. “I think I’ll be getting the turkey pot pie tonight- Han?”

“You know I think it’s a waste to come to Maz’s and not get a burger and fries.” Han chuckled. 

“So that’ll be one chicken pot pie, one cheese burger, extra ketchup, extra bacon for Han, what about you sunshine?” Maz asked as she came up on the table. 

“Shit, Maz, you can’t sneak up on people like that!” Han huffed. 

“I’m not sneaking, Han Solo, im just light on my feet. And dainty. Most people don’t take notice.” Maz grinned. “Should I assume Leia wants a red wine and Han wants a Diet Coke? Or is it a whiskey for Han and an iced tea for Leia? Who’s driving?”

“A Diet Coke for me. Leia hates driving at night.” Han said, and though he sounded miffed, the look he gave Leia was warm. 

“As if you’d ever let anyone else drive that precious car of yours, Nerfherder.” Leia smiled as she rolled her eyes. “A red wine would be lovely Maz, thank you.”

“Got it, and Rey?” Maz asked. 

“Tonight I think I’ll try the ravioli, with garlic bread and the side salad.” Rey said as she passed her menu back to Maz. 

“And a lemonade with a glass of water too?” Maz asked. 

“You got it.” Rey nodded. “I’m beginning to see I really missed out eating just the turkey club for all that time- your menu is full of winners, Maz.”

“That’s true, but there’s nothing wrong with choosing something you like and sticking with it a while.” Maz smiled. “I’ll go get these orders started for you right now. Someone did just buy up the rest of my chocolate cake, but I’ve got a new one in the oven for you Sunshine, on the House.”

“Oh Maz, you don’t have to do that!”

“But I am going to. Consider it my gift to Luna.” Maz called over her shoulder as she disappeared back into the kitchen.

“So, do you think that woman will ever retire?” Han asked.

“I don’t know old man, will you?” Leia asked, arching her brow at him. 

“Hey now, Maz has almost ten years on me- I’m not retiring until she does.” Han smirked. “Plus, What I Do is hardly working anyways. More like a hobby...that I make some extra funds with.”

“That makes it sound sketchy.” Leia laughed. 

“Hey now, we’re a completely legitimate business, no funny business, isn’t that right Rey?” Han asked.

“I mean, mostly. You and Chewie do have your antics.” Rey smiled. 

“They always have.” Leia said. “Honestly, they have the most intimate but completely platonic friendship I’ve ever seen. When we first Met, I was half convinced they were in love.”

“Oh, we are, in our way.” Han winked at Leia, who laughed hard. Han draped an arm around Leia’s shoulder and grinned at her. “If it hadn’t been for this one here domesticating me, Chewie and I would’ve lived a great life together, traveling the world, swindling our way through life.” 

“There there darling, you’re not That domesticated.” Leia patted his hand. “You’re still pretty scruffy looking.” 

“And here I thought I was debonair.” Han sighed dramatically. “Hey, how was your meeting today?”

“It was fine.” Leia shrugged. “How are you feeling Rey?”

“I’m feeling well. Luna is restless, but I like that better than too still.” Rey stroked her belly affectionately. “But what meeting was it today?”

“Oh, just with my advisor and a potential campaign manager.” Leia waved off the question.

“A potential manager? So you are going to run?” Rey asked.

“I’m making a bid for the nomination. There are a lot of steps.” Leia sighed. “And honestly I’m not even sure I should be taking them. With everything going on with the family right now-“

“Princess, you should absolutely be taking them if you want to. You can’t live life with regrets.” Han said. 

“And Ben wouldn’t want you not to give it a go on his account. He’d feel terrible.” Rey insisted. “You’ve been amazing to both of us during all of this- and You have your family behind you if you want this. And me too.”

“Rey Jackson, for the last time, I don’t want you referring to yourself as a separate unit when we talk about family!” Han chuckled.

“Right- sorry.” Rey said sheepishly.

“Don’t be sorry, dear. We just love you, that’s all.” Leia said with a warm smile. “Well, not to worry. Only what? Three and a half weeks until the wedding? Maybe when you share a last name you’ll finally feel a part of the family unit.” 

“Yeah- maybe.” Rey smiled. Of course, it was more than just a maybe- she knew that her last name changing wouldn’t change her relationship with Ben. It wouldn’t change who she was, or what she wanted in life, or how she saw the world. But for the first time in her life she’d be part of a real united family. Which wasn’t to say her little found Family of friends wasn’t real, but she’d be bound to a family by paper and by the blood that their daughter shared. She would be a wife, a daughter in law, and soon thereafter, a mother. For the first time in her life she’d have all of the familial titles that she’d never had, and no one would be able to argue that they weren’t a real family. Ben would be home in two and a half weeks- sure, they’d have a whole legal mess to deal with, but if they were in the same city, in the same house, the same bed, it couldn’t be so bad. 

“Oh- Rey, are we still going to look at that house tomorrow?” Leia asked. 

“Yes! Ben said he arranged a private showing at one.” Rey confirmed. “Han, will you be coming?”

“Might as well. What else am I gonna do at one on a Sunday?” Han shrugged. “Of course, I don’t know much about decor and “taste levels”, but I can spot mold and bad wiring from a mile away.” 

“He’s got a very niche set of skills.” Leia smiled. “I looked at the link you forwarded, it seems nice- a gated community too, probably a good idea with Ben’s sudden rise to the spotlight. And if I do become the president, everyone in this family is going to need some amount of elevated security.”

“Hell, even if you just are running for President. Don’t want any desperate weirdos trying anything dangerous.” Han added. “Especially not when we have a new granddaughter on the way.” 

“A good point.” Leia sighed. “Unfortunately, this whole family is going to be a bit higher profile than we’d all like.” 

“This family never had a chance of being low profile, Princess.” Han smirked. 

“You’re right. We’re all too damn attractive and talented for our own good.” Leia said dryly. Han guffawed loudly, tossing his head back, while Rey laughed quietly behind her hand. 

“Alright, drinks for my favorite customers.” Maz announced as she set glasses in front of them. “Amilyn’s order is done, so she should be here soon.” 

“Thanks Maz.” Leia nodded. 

“Not a problem. Your food should be out shortly.” 

“No rush.” Rey smiled. She took a drink of her lemonade, relishing in the tart coolness. Like everything else on Maz’s menus, the lemonade was perfect- just the right amount of sour and sweet. 

“Why is there a rule against getting a new tattoo while on tour?” Leia asked as she looked up from the binder. “That doesn’t seem like something they’d care that much about.”

“Just another form of image control I suppose.” Rey shrugged. “That’s not the weirdest rule on there by half.”

“No open toed footwear unless on a beach?” Leia shook her head. “This is micromanaging on a whole other level.”

“Honestly, it’s not like they even move their own equipment.” Han rolled his eyes. “Oh, look at that, required on tour weekly manicures for all players of stringed instruments.”

“Doesn’t Ben usually play wearing those stupid gloves?” Leia asked.

“He does, and he hates it. He says it doesn’t feel right, but Snoke thought it added to the mystique of it all- of course, all of that seems pointless now that the world knows who Kylo Ren is.” Rey sighed. “It does make what he manages to play all the more impressive though, doesn’t it?”

“Of course- kid’s been a musical prodigy since he was in diapers. Used to toddle over to Leia’s old baby grand and plunk out songs he’d picked up the tune to on the radio. He always had real talent, our Benjamin.” Han smiled. “Once he started to take lessons, though, nothing could stop him. He blew through several teachers because they “ran out of material for a chid of his age range” and they didn’t want to advance him too far above his peers, which is a crock of-“

“Han Solo, as classy as ever I see.” Rey turned her head sharply to observe the newcomer.a tall, slender woman with violet hair smiled back at her.

“Ami! It’s been too long!” Leia grinned. 

“I know- I’ve been so busy with work lately- but never too busy to take on a case for my favorite clients.” Amilyn winked, and then turned her attention to Rey. “This must be the young lady I’ve been hearing so much about from the three of you. Amilyn Holdo, pleased to meet you.” Rey shook her hand. 

“Rey Jakkson- I’m glad to be meeting you, Miss Holdo, I’ve heard so much about you!”

“Please, call me Amilyn. Only judges and the opposition call me Miss Holdo.” Amilyn said with a twinkle in her eye. “So you’re the one who finally convinced our little Benny boy to settle down, hm?”

“Um- oh, well, yes, I suppose I am.” Rey nodded. 

“Well; seems to me he chose well. Beautiful, loyal, clever too, if what they tell me is true, and I trust the Organa-Solos not to lie to me. Well. Except Han sometimes, but he doesn’t lie so much as he exaggerates.” Amilyn winked. 

“Hey!” Han protested. 

“He’s just a storyteller at heart. He has to add a few details here and there to keep everyone entertained.” Rey teased, and Amilyn laughed. 

“Yes, I can see why our Benny Boy likes this one.” 

“Oh he doesn’t just like her, Amilyn, he loves her to pieces- more than he loves music- no exaggeration.” Han huffed. 

“I’m sure you’re right, old man.” 

“What’s all this talk about me being old tonight? Why am I getting teamed up on here?” Han asked indignantly. “Should’ve asked Chewie to come.”

“Oh darling, you still would’ve been outnumbered.” Leia elbowed him gently.

“Nuh-Uh, Chewie is so big, he counts as two.” Han grinned. 

“But that’s still only three, and we’re one, two, three…” Leia pointed to each of them in turn, and then pointed at Rey’s belly. “And two thirds.”

“No- not my own granddaughter!”

“Her opinion is generally lumped in with mine right now, unless she makes her displeasure known.” Rey grinned. Han chuckled and shook his head as he ran a hand over the back of his neck. 

“Is that the file you called about?” Amilyn asked, gesturing to the broad black binder on the table.

“Yes- an abridged copy of the standard First Order contract as it applies to travel.” Leia said, patting it gently. “The rules Rey mentioned are in there, stated clear as day.” 

“Thank the Maker for that- every free man in my firm has been pouring over that damned contract, but being thorough means taking time, and with so many pages...well, this will be much easier to sort through in time to present a valid argument to Snoke’s lawyers.” Amilyn smiled, her eyes glinting like a predator that had just honed in on its prey, and Rey understands for a moment why Amilyn is so revered and feared in her circle. “Honestly, that man has been a thorn in my side for ages- this isn’t the first time a client has approached me about pursuing legal action against him, but it’s the first time anyone has had enough gumption to follow through.”

“Well, Ben finally found something that was worth fighting for.” Leia smiled, glancing at Rey. “We all fight the hardest when there’s something- someone that we refuse to lose.” 

“That’s true.” Amilyn nodded. “But it’s more than that. He’s got people he knows will stand with him if Snoke retaliates. And I will tell you right now, he will retaliate. I don’t know exactly how, but I assume we all know about the things Ben did when he was younger-“

“We do.” Rey confirmed. 

“Good.” Amilyn nodded. “I want to say it’s safe to assume that one of those instances will be what Snoke uses or releases. If the story of his DUI and arson hit the news, there won’t be a way for me to contain it. But there’s no guarantee that that’s all Snoke has on him. We all need to brace ourselves for the worst.”

“I just don’t understand what the point of this is for Snoke- he could just kriffing settle, let Ben buy himself out of the contract and wash his hands of all of this.” Han grumbled.

“Because without The Knights Of Ren, First Order loses about one third of their income.” Amilyn said simply. “A little over, actually. They have a few other popular acts, Bazine Netal included, but The Knights of Ren are the ones pulling in the big bucks. It’s obvious that Snoke wanted to wrangle them all into another contract, but had no success.”

“Even Savage?” Rey asked.

“Even Mr. Oppress. Apparently he and his wife want to start a family, and before they do that they want to move to be closer to their families.” Amilyn explained. “Now, I believe Snoke thinks they can replace him without much fuss, since he’s just a drummer- a first rate drummer, don’t get me wrong; but a drummer, not a vocalist or one of the writers for the band. Mr. Hux and Miss Phasma have had difficulties regarding the ends of their own contracts as well. I’ve already offered my services to guarantee that they’re not forced into another contract.”

“And what move do we make if Snoke releases something about Ben? Or about Gwen or Armitage?” Rey asked.

“Not if, but when he releases something. And I will be honest, I don’t know yet. We’d need to prove he was the one to release the information, and even then, depending on what he uses, it’s highly possible it would be information that’s difficult to trace to a source.” 

“So we just sit back and let Snoke slander my fiancée?” Rey asked, her jaw tight. 

“I know it feels like that, Rey. But I promise, no one is just sitting back. I will work tirelessly to ensure all ties between Ben and Snoke are cut, permanently. But I cannot guarantee that Ben’s reputation makes it through unscathed. I wish that I could, but I can’t. And I am sorry.” Rey let out a slow exhale and nodded.

“I’m sorry- of course you’re doing everything you can.” Rey offered a sheepish sort of smile. “Ben trusts you implicitly, so I do too. It’s just hard to see someone you love struggling so hard, especially when you know they’re in the right.”

“No need to apologize, Rey. Trust me, I’ve gotten much worse treatment from families of clients in the past. I’ve got a thick skin.” Amilyn chuckled. “And it’s reassuring to me, having watched Ben grow up and fight to become the man he is now, knowing that he has someone like you in his corner. Someone to stand up for him and defend him. No offense to my good friends here, but I know that as a child, Ben often felt like he didn’t have that. Of course you two were always there when it mattered, but-“

“You don’t have to explain.” Leia said, holding up a hand. “Han and I are well aware of the mistakes that we made. Rey is too. What’s past is past, and we can’t change it, even if we want to.”

“You’re here for him now. He knows that. That’s what matters.” Rey insisted, reaching across the table to clasp Leia’s hand in her own. 

“Amilyn Holdo, one massive to go order.” Maz announced as she arrived at the table with two large paper bags. 

“Perfect, thank you Maz!” Amilyn smiled as she took both bags. Maz smiled and disappeared back into the kitchen. “I have my team working late tonight- dinner is my treat when I ask them to work overtime. And they always ask for Takodana- probably because of the chocolate cake.” 

“It’s the best in the galaxy.” Rey grinned. 

“Well, Id better get all this back to the office before it gets cold. Leia, could you just, here…” she gestured to the binder with her chin, and Leia slid it under her arm. “Kriff, this thing is heavier than the food!” Amilyn laughed. “I’ll be in touch- Han, Leia, always great to see you, and it was lovely meeting you, Rey!”

“Likewise, Amilyn!” Rey called after her, and turned her attention back to Han and Leia. “She is…”

“Not what you expected?” Leia smiled. 

“No, not really.” 

“That’s part of her charm.” Han shrugged. 

“You know, originally the purple hair was an accident.” Leia chuckled. “It was the night before the first case she took after law school- she’s a natural blonde, but she got it in her head that she should be a red head- we were a little drunk so we went to the nearest all night pharmacy, and got a box of at home permanent dye. I don’t remember much after that, until we woke up the next morning and her hair was purple. I was freaking out, trying to figure out how to fix this kriffing mess for her, but she just calmly shrugged, said “at least it’s not green. I look awful in green.” Got dressed, and off she went. Won her case, and absolutely wiped the floor with the opposition, which was extra sweet because all of them underestimated her, because she was a young woman, because she had purple hair, because she was freshly barred. But she shut them up real good that day, and the purple hair became her trade mark. No one even dares to comment on it anymore.”

“Honestly, sunshine, Amilyn is a grade A badass.” Han added.

“Well, I can see how she fits in with all of you. I quite like her myself.” Rey smiled. True, She was just about ready to kiss anyone who could give her good news about Ben, but there was something about Amilyn Holdo’s poise and confidence that commanded respect. 

“Ben’s concert still going on?” Han asked, glancing at the clock on the wall.

“Yeah, somewhere between another twenty minutes and another hour, depending on how good the crowd is.” Rey nodded. “He’ll call when he’s back at the hotel. We’ll probably be in the car, so I can just set it on speaker.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Han said. One of Maz’s waiters brought out their food then, and they dug in In content silence.


	30. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“What does your contract say about extensions?” Rey asked. Her nails were curled into her palms hard enough to draw blood. 
> 
> “Of course it says they’re allowed. As long as they don’t extend past our contract end date, they could essentially keep us touring indefinitely.” 
> 
> “How long?” She asked, fighting to keep her breathing even. 
> 
> “Another eight weeks in Europe” "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there! Sending out good vibes to everyone who needs some!

“I’m sick and tired of the whole mess.” Ben sighed heavily, and the sound made her chest feel tight. “And it’s not that I don’t believe in Amilyn, of course I do, but I’m so kriffing tired of watching Snoke’s lawyers make her jump through hoops. They just want her to get fed up and quit, or let things slip through the cracks, that’s about the extent of their legal prowess.”

“Amilyn won’t give up, Ben. You know that.” Rey insisted. He looked worse for the wear on her phone screen, dark circles under his eyes, and his hair a disheveled mess. 

“I want to tell everyone that you’re my fiancée, that we’re together, and that Bazine Netal is a damned liar.” He hissed, and she nodded. “But Amilyn advised me to lie in wait- it’s an impossible place to wait in, Rey. While I say nothing, people believe Bazine and the First Order makes a ton of revenue off of our albums and the tour merch because there’s been a huge spike in profits since the article came out, but if I do an interview of my own, They’re going to sue me for second breach of contract and I-“

“Ben, love, breathe.” Rey insisted. He blinked at her, but nodded and followed her instruction. She took comfort in the rise and fall of his chest, the gentle sound of his breath. “You’re coming home in three days, Ben. We’re getting married in ten days. And I’m going to hold you, and kiss you, and make you forget about everything for a little while.”

“Promise?” He asked pitifully.

“Cross my heart.” She beamed at him. “And you’ll be much too busy thinking about our new house to think about anything else.”

“Right- I forgot to mention the paperwork all came through today. The current owners will be out by the first of the year, then it’s ours.”

“All ours.” She smiled, and he did too. Her heart warmed at the sight of his crooked teeth. “I’ll keep you busy looking at paint swatches and carpet samples, you’ll see- it’s all going to feel so domestic and dull you won’t have time to think of anything else!”

“Sounds heavenly.” 

“That, and rubbing my feet. You’ll be incredibly busy.” 

“I can’t wait.” He said softly. “Everything is ready for the wedding?”

“No. But it will be. Your mother insists on everything being perfect- and who am I to stop her if she wants to put in all of the effort?” Rey shrugged. “But where she finds the energy after working all day is beyond me.” 

“She’s always been like that. If she puts her mind to something, her body will find the energy.” Ben smiled. “I cannot wait to marry you.”

“I can’t wait to marry you.” She smiled back at him. “And I know the whole article and Bazine mess is sort of a big dark cloud hanging over us, but it’s going to be okay, Ben. So what if strangers think that crap is true? We know the truth. I know the truth. And I won’t let anything stand in the way of our future.”

“People are going to think I’m a terrible person, you know?” He said sadly. “It’ll look bad. Like I’m cheating on one of you with the other. And Bazine’s fans are ruthless.”

“I know. I don’t care.” She said firmly. “As soon as Amilyn works through all of the legal tape, you can tell the whole truth, if you want to. You don’t have to though, Ben. If you wanted to just, try to fade into obscurity, I would understand.”

“I would like to just fade into obscurity, but I don’t think that was ever going to be an option for me.” Ben sighed. “I’m going to tell the whole truth Rey, just as soon as Amilyn tells me it won’t ruin her case.” 

“And until then, don’t worry too much about it, okay? I’m not worried, not really. All I want is for you to be home with me. That’s all I care about.” 

“That I can do.” He promised. 

“Good. That’s all I want from you.” 

“You deserve a lot more than that.”   
“Maybe. But I don’t want it. Just you.” She shrugged. “Well. And Luna.”

“Our little moonbeam.” His tentative smile blossomed into something soft and radiant.

“She doesn’t feel so little when her feet keep jabbing all of my internal organs.” Rey huffed playfully.

“Well, comparatively I guess she isn’t that little anymore. Not when you think back to the time when she was as big as a cherry.” 

“Sometimes I think about the day we went to the doctors office to find out for sure that she was there- and you told me she was the size of an apple seed.” Rey smiled as her free hand traced little circles on her belly. “And she felt so fragile and small, but so precious- now she still feels precious, and even fragile, but I can feel how strong she is. How alive she is. How real she is. She’s not just a little Apple seed or lemon sized thing inside of me, She’s a whole other tiny person, you know? And I’m kriffing growing her- do you know how crazy that is?!”

“It is crazy.” He chuckled. “Sometimes I still can’t believe that we’re having a baby. That we made a baby. It almost feels like a dream.”

“A good dream?”

“A fantastic dream.” He grinned. “You are the only woman who ever made me want all of this domestic stuff. A Wedding, a baby, a house in the suburb.”

“I’m lucky that’s true- you’re a catch. Any one of your old girlfriends would’ve snapped you up in a heartbeat.” Rey smiled as he rolled his eyes. “Especially that girl you dated for three months right after we met!”

“Who?” He asked, his brow furrowing.

“Quinn? Tall, statuesque redhead with boobs that I still refuse to believe are real!” Rey insisted. “She was crazy about you- when you brought her to game night all she did was try to get more information about you, and when you’d slip out to take a work call or use the bathroom, she’d ask me if I thought you were as into her as she was into you. It was very uncomfortable for me, since I had the most massive crush on you.”

“Oh yeah?” He smirked. 

“Oh yes. Of course, the feelings I had for you then were different. I never really had a school girl crush, but I’d imagine that’s what it would be like. I didn’t really start developing real, deep feelings for you until later.”

“That makes sense; I fell in love with you slowly, and then so fast I can barely remember not loving you.” He explained.

“Well, yeah, but when you met me I was only eighteen- the eight and a half year gap probably threw you for a loop.” She shrugged. 

“Maybe a little.”

“Even if your parents did have a bigger age gap, and we could’ve been having terrific sex for all of these years!” She winked. He laughed, but it morphed into a yawn. “I should let you go. Can’t have you nodding off during your concert tomorrow.”

“Like I could fall asleep at one of our concerts- far too loud.” He shook his head. 

“Well I wouldn’t want you miserable either, and you will be if you don’t sleep.” She insisted. Though she thought it was very likely he’d be miserable regardless. One could get sick and tired of something they loved well, especially in a situation like this. “I love you!”

“I love you too. Talk to you soon, sweetheart.” 

“You will. And you’ll be home Before you know it, love. We’ve made it this long- the next few days will fly by!” 

“Maker I hope so.” 

She didn't expect to hear from him again until the next morning his time- so it was unexpected but not unwelcome when her phone started ringing just a few hours later. He started speaking without waiting for a greeting. 

“Snoke is ordering us to play an extended tour.” He said bluntly, his voice ragged and tired. 

“An extension?!” Rey gasped, and then bit her tongue, trying to stifle the sounds of dismay that were sure to come. “What- how can- why?”

“Apparently there’s a huge demand for tickets that the original slate couldn’t keep up with. There’s been an online petition for a few weeks, But now it’s picked up momentum, and people are calling the studio to beg For more shows- which is flattering as hell, but I can’t keep doing this!” He growled. “I’m glad that my music is making people happy. That they want more. But Somewhere along the line making this music started making me miserable and I just can’t keep going. I think sometimes fans forget that we're just people too- we have lives and families and commitments other than music. I just can't keep this up. I just can't.” 

“What does your contract say about extensions?” Rey asked. Her nails were curled into her palms hard enough to draw blood. 

“Of course it says they’re allowed. As long as they don’t extend past our contract end date, they could essentially keep us touring indefinitely.” 

“How long?” She asked, fighting to keep her breathing even. 

“Another six to eight weeks in Europe” 

“Eight?!” She cried, her heart pounding as she did the quick math. “So you won’t be back until I’m thirty three weeks pregnant? You’re going to miss another two months of this?”

“It’s not like I want to! Kriff, I didn’t want to go in the first place!” 

“I can’t keep doing this on my own, Ben! I know I’ve got your parents and my friends and all, but it’s not the same- I need you, Ben!” She was on the verge of hyperventilating now. “Eight more weeks? How am I supposed to do eight more weeks like this?”

“Sweetheart, breathe, please.” He said firmly, but his voice was hazy in her ears. It was ridiculous- she’d gone to bed and woken up alone for a majority of her life, she’d spent days without seeing another person, and there was part of her that felt extremely selfish that Han and Leia and all of her friends didn’t feel like enough when they were really so much more than she’d even dreamed of having- but how could she do this without Ben? What would keep Snoke from turning eight weeks to to ten, to three months, to keep extending and extending until Ben had to miss everything, would never get to feel Luna kick under his hands, or see her born or-

“You- you’re going to miss Christmas- and we’ll have to postpone our wedding- and the move- my dress isn’t going to fit in eight more weeks, there’s not a chance in hell!” She was hyperventilating now, her chest felt tight, and her skin felt hot and itchy- it was a good thing she was already sitting, because her legs felt weak and her fingers were trembling. “And you’ll be- b- be right th-there with B-Bazine trying t-to climb all over you!”

_“Green eyes, stay forever in my soul, I turn to you, and in your arms I am made whole, I turn to you, sweetheart I turn to you- you are my light my life, my love; beat of my heart, you are my drug, I would be lost if not for the stumble that led me to your door…”_ Her breath hitched as the familiar sound of her song washed over her, Ben’s deep voice resonating in her very bones, anchoring her. _“Green eyes, I turn to you, sweetheart, I turn to you. If I’m the dark of the night, you're the sweet morning light, I turn to you, I turn to you."_

“Ben…” she whispered. Her chest was still heaving, and her limbs felt shaky, but it no longer felt like her chest was caving in and her skin was on fire. 

“It’s okay- sweetheart, just breathe, okay? in and out.” He instructed with a calm she wasn’t sure he actually felt. His breath became louder, more pronounced, and she followed along with it until she felt almost normal again. He muttered softly to her, as she started to breathe evenly on her own, sweet reassurances and gentle affirmations of his love for her. Finally, she let out a massive sigh. “Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

“I think so.” She laughed shakily. 

“Have you been having a lot of panic attacks while I’ve been gone?” He asked.

“No- no, not like that. Little ones maybe, but nothing like that.” She assured him. “Don’t worry-“

“Not likely.” He grumbled. “You’re my fiancée- of course I’m going to worry.”

“I know. I’m sorry if I scared you.” She blinked away a few tears from the corners of her eyes.

“Rey, you don’t have anything to apologize for. If anything I should-“

“I don’t want you to.” She cut him off. 

“What can I do, Rey? What do you want me to do?” He asked. 

“I...I suppose you finish the tour.” 

“Rey…”

“What other choice is there? I’ll be okay, Luna and I both will be okay, I promise. That was just a moment of weakness, that’s it.” She was only half lying. “You have to finish the tour, Ben. Like you told me once, We have to choose our battles and who knows what’s going to happen when you come home? Who knows what battles we’ll have to pick when it’s actually time for her to come?”

“But the wedding-“

“We’ll have a simple little wedding when you get home. We can go to the courthouse with your parents and our friends can come if they want. We can do the party and the white dress and cake thing in a few years, for an anniversary or something.” 

“But you and mother have been working so hard on this ceremony.”

“I’ve said from the beginning, I just want to end the day married to you. Nothing else matters. I can go out right before you come home and find a white knit dress and some super market roses.” 

“I love you so much- and I’m so kriffing sorry about all of this.” He sounded on the verge of tears. “I miss you so much it hurts- I can’t wait to have you in my arms again.”

“I can’t either.” The tears were starting to flow steadily down her face now, and she didn’t want him to figure it out. “Oh- um, I think your mom is calling for me, if better go see what she needs, I love you, bye!” She tossed her phone onto the bed beside her and fell back to allow the shuddering sobs to wrack her chest. “Just six more weeks, Rey, you can do eight more weeks!” She spoke aloud, but the words sounded mangled by her tears. “Pull it together Jakkson!” But that was just another reminder that she’d be keeping the name Jakkson for longer than expected, and she started crying even harder. 

She felt foolish, like a child crying over spilled milk- but she couldn’t seem to stop. Ben’s delay in coming home was just one thing on a long list of the obstacles they’d had to face- but it was one thing too many. The straw that broke the camel’s back. She sobbed herself to sleep, curled around her ever growing belly, never thinking that she hadn’t hit end on the call before she’d dropped her phone beside her. 

…..  
“Thanks for coming with me.” Rey smiled at Finn and Rose as they rode the elevator up to Ben’s penthouse. 

“Of course! It’s no problem.” Rose assured her, squeezing the hand she held. 

“Sides, I couldn’t let you do any lifting that might hurt my niece.” Finn winked at her as he patted her belly. They stepped into the penthouse when the doors opened, and a wave of sadness hit her again. Ben should’ve been home last night- the ever lower count down to his return from tour had been the only thing keeping her sane, and now it’d be reset and then some. She was supposed to get married in six days, but instead she was grabbing a few more things to extend her stay with her future in laws. She’d considered moving back into the penthouse on her own, but even thinking of the loneliness has made her chest feel hollow. 

“What do you need here Rey?” Rose asked. 

“Oh, just some odds and ends. Might as well get nice and comfy over there, since I’m moving in forever.” Rey said dryly. Neither of her companions laughed. “It’s a joke.”

“You know he wants to come back more than anything, Rey Rey. That man is crazy in love with you.” Rose insisted, wrapping her arms around her friend’s shoulders. 

“Yeah. I do know. Um, Make yourselves at home. I’m going to pack up some other clothes- there are a couple of books I wanted, and I thought I’d get my favorite mugs to use for my tea- just to be a little more homey.” Rey explained. 

“Do you need any help?” Rose asked. 

“No, there’s a duffle bag in the closet I can put the clothes in- and before you say it, yes, Finn, I’ll call you to lift it when it’s full, okay?”

“That’s all I ask!” Finn said.

“We’ll be right here if you need us.” Rose said, giving her shoulders one more squeeze before she headed down the hall. 

Going into the bedroom she and Ben shared was hard, but not unbearable. Maybe because they hadn’t been there for a while, they’d been staying with his parents even before he’d gone on tour. She half expected to find him there, with his hair damp, stretched out across the bed with one of his favorite books in hand- but he was traveling back to Ireland now for the start of the encore tour, so she couldn’t even reach him by phone right now. 

With a heavy sigh she went into the closet, grabbed the duffle bag, and tossed it on the bed. The first thing she packed were several of Ben’s sweaters and t-shirts- they smelled enough like him, like his laundry detergent, and the lingering smell of his cologne and something else that was all Ben. She justified it by telling herself that nothing else she had really fit that well right now, what with the tiny person who’d taken up residence in her body. The tiny person who was currently intent on pressing her little feet into her mothers bladder. She ignored it for a few minutes, dropping a pair of Ben’s basketball shorts and a few of her bigger, comfier maternity dresses into the duffle bag before she gave in and went to the bathroom. After washing up she dug around in the cabinets to find her collection of hair ties that she’d managed without until now, but wanted regardless. From the living room she heard a door slam, and her heart skipped a beat from the surprise. She dropped the little bag of hair ties on the bed and waddled out towards the living room. 

“Hey, guys, did someone... just…” her knees felt weak- she was going to cry. Finn and Rose were staring at her from the sofa with wide eyes, but she hardly noticed them at all. Her attention was fixed on the figure holding a carry on sized suitcase by the door. “Ben?”

“Rey.”


	31. Stand By Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Time stood still for a moment as they just stared at each other with wide eyes and hands half raised up to reach for each other. Rey broke first, lifting a hand to her lips to silence her quiet cry as she moved as quickly as she could into Ben’s arms. His bag thudded against the floor as he hurried to meet her half way. He wrapped himself around her immediately, enveloping her completely in warmth and the familiar feeling of home. She presses as close to him as she can with the curve of her belly in the way. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! Back with another chapter! Just a mild trigger warning, this chapter does contain a retelling of some sexual harassment (Female harassing Male). Nothing too graphic or triggering, as i said, It's pretty mild, but it is there. If you find you can't read it, there is a "*" before it starts, and I'll put a brief summary in the end notes for you!

Time stood still for a moment as they just stared at each other with wide eyes and hands half raised up to reach for each other. Rey broke first, lifting a hand to her lips to silence her quiet cry as she moved as quickly as she could into Ben’s arms. His bag thudded against the floor as he hurried to meet her half way. He wrapped himself around her immediately, enveloping her completely in warmth and the familiar feeling of home. She presses as close to him as she can with the curve of her belly in the way. 

“Ben- how are you here?” She asked, burrowing her face in his chest. “You- we decided you were staying- you have to pick your battles!”

“I do. I picked this. I picked you.” He murmured into her hair. “And I will pick you and our family over anything or anyone else for the rest of our lives, consequences be damned.” She peeled back just enough to take hold of his face in her hands, the feel of his five o’clock shadow making him seem so real beneath her fingertips. 

“You’re really here.” She smiled a watery smile. 

“I’m really here.” He grinned, and he moved to kiss her. This time she met him half way. He tasted like stale mint and the Coca-Cola he must have had on the plane, and he smelled like an airport, but she couldn’t care less- he was here, in their home, in her arms! They broke the kiss, and he pressed his forehead against hers.

“I think we’ll just show ourselves out then!” Rose called as she and Finn walked quickly to the door. “Good to see you Ben, let’s all get dinner soon, Kay? Bye!” She pulled Finn out the door before he had a chance to say anything and it clicked shut. 

“I’ve missed you so much.” Rey whispered. 

“I’ve missed you too. And just look at you- Kriff. You look so incredible.” He held her out at arms length as his eyes ran over her appreciatively. “You’re sexier in person than in pictures and I didn’t think that was possible.” He chuckled, and she shivered at the pleasure that the mere sound had brought her. Luna stirred between them, and he looked down with a start, and then back up at Rey with wide eyes. “Was that?”

“Yes, Ben!” She laughed, and dragged his hand down to the place she estimated the baby would be kicking next. It landed just shy of the center of his palm, and he was grinning so wide, and there were tears in his eyes, it was absolutely overwhelming; but it would be forever catalogued in her memory as one of the most precious moments of her life. “Luna, say hello to your daddy.” He sunk to his knees before her, bringing his face level to her belly. She pulled her shirt up and over her head to give him full access to the expanse of her stretch mark riddled skin. His hands smoothed over it gently, as if it were the finest silk, and he pressed his lips to the highest point of the swell before he rested the side of his face against it. She could feel his tears on her skin, slipping down the slope of her belly, but she just tangled her fingers in his hair, and let her own tears of joy roll down her cheeks. 

“Hey there little moonbeam. I’ve been waiting to feel this for a long time.” Ben’s lips tickled as they brushed against her skin. She grinned as she felt the baby land a kick right against the side of his face, and he laughed harder than she’d heard him laugh in a long time. “I know you’re upset that I haven’t been around, but we try to solve our problems with words instead of violence, Luna Annie.” Rey giggled and threaded her fingers in his hair. 

“Well, since she doesn’t actually know any words yet, I think we can give her a pass.” She suggested. He looked up at her with a lopsided smile. 

“Just this once.” He winked, and then he pressed his face to her belly again. 

“Now you’re just asking for her to do it again, you know. She usually kicks up the same area for a few minutes at a time.” 

“That’s okay. I don’t mind.” He shrugged. He started humming against her skin, and she felt goosebumps break out along her arms. It might have been seconds or hours that they stayed there like that, just clinging to each other, their baby alive and moving between them. 

“Ben?”

“Hm?” 

“We can keep this up as long as you like, but could we do it sitting down? My lower back is starting to kill.” Rey sighed melodramatically.

“Oh- yeah, of course! Sorry.” He rose swiftly, and pressed his lips to hers softly before he was stooping down to pick her up, an arm under her knees and around her back. 

“Ben! Careful! I’m heavy!” She laughed. He looked at her dubiously. 

“And I can bench like, twice your weight. I think I can manage a trip to the sofa.” He chuckled as he walked them over to the couch, and sat down on it, leaving her legs draped across his while her back was supported by the curved arm of the sofa. “Better?”

“Always, with you.” She said, and he reached out to stroke her cheek tenderly. He dropped the hand down to rest on her stomach again while his other hand was busy rubbing slow circles on her leg. She was mesmerized by the action, by his presence, by the magic of seeing him witness Luna moving for the first time. 

“This is kriffing incredible.” He breathed as he watched her stomach shift a little while their daughter got better situated in her belly. 

“I know- sometimes I just can’t stop staring at it.” Rey admitted. A sharp kick next to her belly button made her wince. “You see what I mean? Like a little alien trying to pop out of my skin!” 

“A Very accurate description, apparently.” He grinned. She pushed herself forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, burying her face in the crook of his neck. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She smiled and shut her eyes as his arm snared around her back to hold her closer. “I can’t believe you’re really here- honestly at first I was afraid I was hallucinating.”

“It still feels a little like I’m dreaming.” He whispered. 

“How are you here, Ben?” She asked carefully. His muscles tensed beneath her hands. “What happened?”

“If I promise I’ll tell you in the morning, can we just leave that for now?” He asked softly. She bit her lip. “Please? Let’s just have tonight, just for us, no one else, no other problems, just us. please.” 

“Okay.” She knew that she was agreeing too easily, that she probably should’ve pressed him for the details and started working out how they would manage the fall out from whatever the situation was- Whether he had to return to the tour tomorrow morning or he had caused some sort of uproar by leaving- but she couldn’t bring herself to press. After all, it had been six weeks. They deserved tonight. She pulled her face away from his neck and angled his face towards hers to kiss him again. He responded immediately, his lips soft yet firm against her own as he cupped the back of her neck with one large hand. It wasn’t a lusty kiss, or even particularly passionate so much as it was warm and comforting, and heart meltingly sweet. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

“Yeah; I think I’ve got a pretty good idea.” He kissed her cheek, the corner of her mouth, her jaw, and slowly down her neck. She felt a tingle of desire run through her body, and she grabbed his shoulders tightly as he kissed and nipped his way down her throat.

“Then you must know how much I’ve missed you.” She breathed as one of his hands snaked around her back to the clasp of her new maternity bra. 

“I’d imagine about half as much as I missed you.” He grinned wryly at her, the look turning smug as the clasp gave way under his clever fingers. She hunched her shoulders to aid him with discarding the obtrusive article, and for a moment he just stared at her with fathomless dark eyes. “Kriff.”

“I know- everything really blew up while you were gone.” She laughed breathily. 

“Are they sore?” He asked, his eyes flickering up to meet hers. She swallowed, and forced herself to nod.

“Just a little bit- it’s not too bad. More sensitive than sore I think.” She said hoarsely. “So maybe just...gently?”

“I can be gentle.” He nodded, his tongue flicking out briefly to wet his plush lips. “Very gentle.” He bowed over her, dusting her shoulders and collar bones in feather light kisses before he sucked on her pulse point, and then started kissing his way down her neck again. She gasped and clutched him tighter, a bit in awe of him- she hadn’t been the least bit aroused only minutes ago, and with just a few kisses he had her ready to melt. His tongue laved gently over the curve of one breast, and then the other, followed by a few gentle kisses and barely there nips with his teeth. Her back was attempting to arch, even with the weight of her belly, and she twined her fingers in his unruly dark hair. 

“Ah- arent- Ah- aren’t you tired?” She gasped. 

“I had a shit ton of caffeine on the way here- I intend to absolutely crash at the correct time for the time zone.” He muttered between presses of his lips and tongue against her skin. 

“Doubtful. If we have sex you’ll fall asleep right after.” She laughed. He raised his head to look at her with narrowed chocolate eyes. 

“Then I guess I’ll just have to draw this out, won’t I?” He smirked, his fingers finding her waistband at once. He helped her lift her hips off of the sofa just enough to rip the rest of her clothes down her legs. For a moment he made to settle between her legs, but he quickly realized that wouldn’t work with the curve of her belly between them, so he dropped to the floor on his knees before her and draped a leg over each of his shoulders. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he nuzzled a stubbly cheek against the soft flesh of her inner thigh. The slow exhale he let out ghosted against the place she wanted him most, the part of her that had craved him incessantly from the moment he’d gone. “Heaven.”

“Oh yeah?” She breathed.

“Mmhm.” The sound resonated against her skin, and her shoulders quaked with the force of the shiver that ran up her spine. 

“Ben, please!” 

“Be patient, sweetheart.” He tsked as he slowly kissed his way down her leg.

“I’ve been kriffing patient for six weeks!” She scoffed. 

“Fair enough.” He grinned against the curve of her knee, his tongue flicking the soft skin underneath it, and then he surged up to put his mouth on her. He was oddly contorted to access her with her stomach jutting out much farther than he was used to, and she was arching a little uncomfortably to give him better access, but as her vision whited out around the edges she couldn’t bring herself to care about mild discomfort- all she cared about was the things he was doing with his tongue. And then with his fingers. The last few weeks reaching around her belly to try to take care of things herself usually ended with her giving up with nothing but frustration and a cramped wrist from the odd angle she had to use to reach. But this. This. This was bliss. This was her Ben- if she’d had any lingering suspicions that this was just a dream, they were shattered at the same moment she crested with her fiancée’s face between her thighs- because no dream could possibly feel as good as this. She panted heavily as he nuzzled against her skin again, his lips just barely brushing her thigh. “Is the edge off? Can you be patient now sweetheart?” She arched a brow at him as she moved one foot off of his shoulder, down his chest,’to the fly of his jeans and the very prominent bulge there. He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.

“I don’t know, Can you?” She asked, cocking her head to the side. He caught her foot and held it back up against his chest. 

“Before you I went two years without sleeping with anyone. I’m a master of self denial at this point.” He smirked, gently rubbing the arch of her foot with his thumb. She moaned softly, her eyes slipping shut. “Though if you keep making noises like that-“

“That wasn’t even sexual, my feet are just sore and that felt damn good!” She insisted. 

“Sounded pretty sexual from where I was sitting.” He shrugged as he started rubbing her foot with renewed vigor. She had to admit the gasp that escaped her when he pressed against her heel was quite similar to the gasp of ecstasy he’d wrenched from her not ten minutes ago. “Maker, I could watch your face all day.” 

“If you keep rubbing my feet, I might let you.” She waggled her brows at him, and he laughed. Oh, how she loved his laughter- especially when he was sitting so close to her and she could almost feel the deep rumble of it in her own chest, like thunder. It made her feel warm and flushed all over again, chasing the sated, content feeling from her blood, replacing it with liquid fire. She pressed her legs together, and Ben’s eyes went wide. 

“Really?” He asked hoarsely. He was speaking so lowly his voice crackled. She shivered again. 

“What can I say? I want you.” Rey said after a moment. “And everything you do right now seems to make me want you more. But maybe I’m just a little bit desperate at this point. Maybe I can’t wait.” 

“What sort of fiancée would I be if I made you?” He swallowed, and she was mesmerized by the knob rising and falling in his throat. Kriff he was so beautiful! 

“A poor one, I suppose.” She shrugged, her fingers beginning to tremble with the need to touch him- to be touched by him. 

“And we wouldn’t want that.” He shook his head and dropped her foot before he rose to his full height in front of her. She took the opportunity to tug off his belt, and open the button of his jeans- but he stopped her to tug her to her feet and press a long, lingering kiss on her lips. She pushed his shirt up, Running hands over the marble smoothness of his chest before they broke the kiss just in time for him to tug the shirt over his head and drop it on the floor with his belt and the remainder of her clothing.   
______________________  
“You really were wound up.” Ben laughed, his chest heaving under her cheek. 

“I wasn't joking.” She smiled and propped herself up to get a better look at him. His face was more thin and drawn than it had been before he’d left, the purple bags under his eyes were dark and harsh against his pale skin. But he was here, in her arms, and he was smiling at her- things would be okay again. There were small bruises blooming at the base of his neck where she’d sucked on his skin, but she could already see the marks he’d left gripping her hips as she’d ridden him into the mattress, and she wasn’t at all surprised they’d both left marks. It’d been too long to go without each other. 

“What are you looking at?” He asked, cupping her cheek. 

“You.” He laughed. “I’m serious, I can’t stop looking at you. I can’t believe you’re here! I can’t believe you’re in our bed- It’s unreal.” 

“You got the marriage license?” He asked after a moment of looking intently into her eyes. 

“I did, yeah.” 

“Do you want to get married- tomorrow?” He sat up, and she grabbed his hand to get herself into a seated position too. 

“Are you serious?” She asked. 

“As the plague.” He insisted. 

“But- all of the plans and reservations were cancelled- we don’t have any of the flowers or-”

“You’ve got your dress, I’ve got a tuxedo- my parent’s back patio is plenty big enough for a tiny ceremony if we put out the heat lamps dad keeps in the garage. Uncle Chewie is ordained through one of those oneline churches, so he could do a ceremony. We’ll buy whatever chocolate cake Maz has available. It’s still early enough to call everyone tonight to tell them we’re getting married tomorrow evening.” He listed everything as if he were writing a checklist in his head- ever the organized planner She’d fallen in love with. “If you want to do this, there’s nothing stopping us. So? What do you say? Ready to be Mrs. Solo?” She straddled him in a motion that was surprisingly agile considering the bulge of her belly between them, and kissed him soundly. “Is that a yes? Or the nicest rejection I’ve ever gotten?” 

“Of course I’ll kriffing marry you tomorrow!” She laughed. “I’m so ready to be Mrs. Solo- you wouldn't even believe!” 

“Really? We’re doing this?” His eyes were sparkling like molten chocolate, and it warmed her from the inside out. 

“Yes! Absolutely we are.” She kissed him softly. “Does that mean you’re staying? You’re not going back on tour?”

“I thought we weren’t”

“If you think I want to talk about this on our wedding day-”

“You’re right. You’re right.” His hands were splayed across her back, and he dropped his forehead to rest on her shoulder. “I don’t want to go back. I can’t finish the tour. I told Snoke I couldn’t stand another eight weeks with Bazine throwing herself at me, and all of the shit she’s spewing to the paparazzi. I told him that either I had to be allowed to give my own interview telling the truth, or Bazine had to be removed as the opening act. You can guess how that conversation went.” 

“Oh Ben..” She raked her fingers through his hair gently. “Then what happend?”   
*

“Shit, Rey, I’m so scared you’re going to be mad at me- I should’ve told you the second I walked through the door- I should’ve called you the second it happened, but I...Rey, All I could think was that I was done- that I needed to be home with you.” He admitted shakily against her skin. Her muscles felt rigid as she continued to robotically comb her fingers through his hair as she thought through what he possibly could have done that would make him so afraid- and then she wondered if there was anything he could do that she wouldn’t be able to forgive him for. “I’m sorry- I-”

“Ben? Hey- love, you're scaring me a little here.” She brought her hands to his shoulders and smoothed them along his skin. He was full on shaking now, and she tried to remember how he had distracted her from a panic attack before. “Breathe. I love you, Okay? Please don't be afraid to tell me anything, Ben. I love you so much- please, let me help you with whatever this is, okay? I promise to listen to every word you have to say, I’m not running away, okay?” She could feel the heat of his tears on her skin, and her heart broke a little. He was always the strong one for her- she could be the strong one for him right now! “Talk to me, Love.”

“I had just gotten off of the phone with you. I was tired, from the concert we’d just played, I was emotionally exhausted, I just felt done with everything. I went back to my room to grab a shower and just crash. I stripped out of my show clothes as soon as I got into my room, because everything was sweaty and gross- and that’s when she came in.” Rey’s heart felt like it was skipping a beat. 

“Who?” She asked, though she was positive she already knew. 

“Bazine. She had a key- I don’t know how the kriff she got a key to my room, but she just let herself in. I flipped out, grabbed my clothes and started throwing them back on, but she just, threw herself at me, started taking off her clothes, and asking why I was playing hard to get when we both knew we were perfect for eachother.” Ben choked a little, and she forced herself to remain calm. “I was trying so hard to keep my head- I was mad, but I didn’t want to hurt her by pushing her away- I mean physically hurt her, and literally pushing her. I know that when I get angry I can be aggressive, I don’t know my own strength. So I calmly told her to get out, but she just stripped and went to sit on the bed and demanded that we work through whatever issues were keeping us apart. She said that when we broke up, she knew it wasn’t forever, and she still loved me in spite of all the things I did that hurt her. I told her I didn’t love her anymore, I was sorry if something I did made her think she still had a chance, but I have a fiancée who I love more than anyone. It was like talking to a wall.” Rey climbed off of his lap in an attempt to be able to see his face better, but he seemed to panic at the withdraw of contact. 

“Hey, I’m not leaving. Just getting comfy.” She said softly as she adjusted two pillows behind her to support her back and tugged the comforter up over her knees before She took his hand and twined their fingers together in her lap. He took the opportunity to breathe deeply, and she squeezed his hand when she was better situated. 

“She got so pissed- in a way I haven’t seen anyone get pissed since she and I broke up. I know I have a bad temper when it boils down to it, but she has this rage inside her like nothing I’ve ever seen.” Ben scrubbed his free hand over his face. “She said it was impossible that I’d be rejecting her, because couldn’t I see that she’s out of my league, or something to that effect with more choice language thrown in. Then she said she’d seen the pictures of you and I together, and there was no way she was going to lose me to-“ Ben cut off abruptly.

“To?” Rey asked evenly, even as her temper spiked. 

“To some common whore I’d picked up in the middle of nowhere.” He whispered. “That really pissed me off- I threw a lamp, not at her, not anywhere near her, I swear, but it shattered and it was loud. And she looked so pleased- I couldn’t figure out why until she got up and wrapped herself around me, shoved her tongue down my throat and started rumbling on about how hot it always made her when I lost control, wasn’t this better than whatever I had with my fiancée- I didn’t kiss her back, I swear, but I was frozen- It was like I was in shock- because it was unbelievable, Rey. The whole scenario was so ridiculous, it couldn’t be real, because this sort of insanity doesn’t just happen to people. Then she started trying to get my clothes off, and I remembered of course this was reality because my whole life, the entire history of my entire family is one long cosmic joke. I shoved her off of me, told her to get out, and she refused. Said I’d have to pick her up and carry her out, and then someone was sure to see us in the hallway- wouldn’t it be easier just to give in to what we both wanted? Only I didn’t want that- I didn’t want her anywhere near me. So I just...left. She was screaming at me to get back there- I’m sure half of the hotel could hear her, but I got into the hall, closed the door behind me and ran to Hux and Phas’s room. When I tried to explain, Hux got me a drink, and Phas’s face was purple, and she disappeared for twenty minutes, came back with my carry on and they both told me to get the hell home. They didn’t care about the fall out if I didn’t, they’d stall for me as long as they could. So I just...left. Hopped into a cab to the airport, and got on the soonest flight back because I needed to see you so bad. And I promise I was going to tell you everything the second I saw you, but then I saw you, and your belly, and our Luna, and all I could think about was that I was finally with you again, and nothing had ever felt more right. I understand if you’re upset- if you don’t want to marry me tomorrow-“

“I do.” She said quickly. 

“What?” He turned to face her, his eyes wide.

“I do want to marry you tomorrow.” She said. “I told you I’d listen to everything you had to tell me before I said anything. Are you finished?”

“Yes.” He said raggedly. 

“Good.” She took a deep breath and brought both of her hands up to cup his face. “I am upset. I’m upset by all of the stupid, shitty obstacles life keeps throwing in our way because, in my opinion, we’ve faced far more than our share of them. I’m upset that you’re so worried about upsetting me that you haven’t even processed the fact that Bazine sexually harassed you- even assaulted you with unwanted attention. And I’m upset that you think anything that witch could do would make me change my mind about you. I love you so much, and I want you to be with me for the rest of our lives- and I want to start that journey as soon as possible.” He crushed his mouth to hers, and his lingering tears dripped from his lashes to her cheeks as his hands folded over hers. 

“This isn’t going to be a magical fix it all, you know Rey- getting married isnt going to be a fairy tale ending to all of the obstacles. If Snoke hasn’t already figured out I’m not with the band, he’s going to in a few hours and then I’m afraid I’ve given Amilyn that much more work.” Ben sighed heavily. 

“I know. There aren’t magical cure all’s in real life, Ben. But I believe things will feel a little bit easier if we face them together.” She pulled him into her arms, letting him rest his head against her breast. “You have been strong for me since the second you came into my life. Let me be your partner. Let me help you however I can.”

“You are my partner.” He said fervently. “I don’t know how strong I’ve been the last few weeks-“ he stopped her noise of protest with a shake of his head. “But it seems only fair that we take turns being each other’s strength, don't you think?” 

“Yeah. That does seem like a pretty fair deal.” She smiled softly. He sat up to look at her.

“Now- we probably should call everyone, provided you really do want to get married tomorrow.” She leaned in to give him a quick kiss. 

“You start with your parents, I’ll start with Finn and Rose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, Bazine showed up in Ben's hotel room after their last scheduled concert before the extension launched, and started taking off her clothes and being very very forward while trying to trigger him into a heat of the moment reaction. She ends up kissing him and trying to undress him, at which point he leaves, and with Hux and Phasma's blessing, decides to come home to Rey, who is upset that it happened, but very sweet to Ben. They decide to go ahead with their plan to get married tomorrow.


	32. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” Ben said lowly, running his thumb over the cold metal band he’d slid onto her finger- she didn’t realize she was crying until he reached up to smooth a tear off of her cheek. She leaned into his hand, and smiled reassuringly at him, hoping he knew these were the happy kind of tears. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my dears! Sorry it's been a minute! Any how, Here comes the wedding! Originally this was a lot longer, but I'm breaking it so we'll get some reception and mini honeymoon action in the next chapter! I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there! <3

“I mean, you do know I can’t actually see my toes, right?” Rey laughed as Rose was agonizing in front of the giant wall of nail polish color options. “And I’ll probably wind up in closed toe shoes- it’s supposed to start snowing!”

“Yes, but I’ll know if they’re the wrong color!” Rose insisted. She was holding another bottle up beside her phone screen and the photo of the green color swatch on it. “Too olive.” 

“She still trying to choose?” Kaydel asked as she returned from the bathroom. 

“Yes, She is!” Rose called over her shoulder. 

“Would you relax Rosie? Leia sent us here to relax...unwind… get pretty, etcetera.” Kaydel sighed as she stretched. “How can you be so stressed after the massages we got? I feel relaxed as Kriff- how was the maternity massage Rey?”

“Heaven- got rid of aches I didn’t even know I had. I can see why Leia suggested I get one weekly.” Rey grinned at her friend who looked relaxed and happy in the fluffy white bathrobe she was wearing. 

In true Leia style, she’d sprung into action as soon as Ben had called the previous evening. She was completely undaunted by the challenge of throwing together a wedding overnight- she told them most of what they’d need she already had in bins in the garage, since she’d figured they’d do something like this as soon as Ben finally did come home. Anything else she needed she’d send Han for, or have delivered. She was Leia kriffing Organa, and she would throw her only son a beautiful wedding, even if it was just a small thing on the back patio! Leia and Rose had been up since five in the morning getting everything arranged, and Leia surprised her future daughter in law and her co maids of honor with a day at the spa, filled with massages, mud baths, hair treatments, facials, and mani pedis. Though Rey had accompanied Leia to her exclusive spa a few times for manicures over the years (Leia had insisted it was more fun with someone else) this was luxury like Rey had never known. But she was still glad Ben had gone over to his parents house when she’d gone to the spa. He said he was going to help his dad get everything out of storage, but Rey had gotten Leia to promise she’d try to trick him into taking a nap at some point, lest his jet lag catch up with him.

“Here! This is the one!” Rose cried triumphantly as she held the bottle above her head. Rey and Kaydel glanced at each other before bursting into applause and laughter. Rose gave a dramatic bow, and grinned at her friends. “Yes, thank you, thank you, this Is my life’s great work!”

“Brilliant!” Rey giggled as Kaydel let out a loud triumphant whistle. 

“Yeah, yeah, now calm down and be quiet before you get us kicked out of Leia’s spa!” Rose said, waving dismissively at them. She sat beside them on the low, comfortable sofa, and grabbed her tea from the side table. They still had a few minutes before the private room was free- and of course Leia had sprung for a private room. She was nothing if not generous to those she loved. 

“Did you know Ben was coming yesterday?” Rey asked Rose, who looked down at her tea. “Rose?”

“Well he didn’t outright tell me he was coming- you had me holding your phone for you, because you didn’t have pockets, and he called to ask where you were while I was in the bathroom during lunch, so I told him we were heading to the penthouse soon, then he hung up.” Rose shrugged. “It really sounded like he was on his way, but I didn’t say anything just in case. I didn’t want you to get your hopes up for nothing if he was just trying to do like, a quick check in or something. It’s a good thing I thought he might be though, Finn was about ready to tackle anyone who was coming through the front door- and I love that man with all of my heart, but Ben is sort of an immovable object. Massive shoulders, tree trunk legs-“

“Massive dick.” Kaydel pointed out with a wink, and Rey sputtered into her water bottle, sending spray everywhere. Rose patted her back sympathetically while shooting Kay a look. “What? We were listing things we knew were massive. We all saw the picture. We know things.”

“Okay, but maybe next time, time it a little better so that the bride doesn’t choke to death on the morning of her wedding!” Rose scoffed. Kaydel held up her hands in mock surrender. 

“What? We didn’t get to have a raunchy bachelorette party- I’m just trying to fit it in wherever I can!” Kaydel insisted. “Not that I’m complaining, this spa day is the shit! Though I am sort of shocked that Mr. Writes out lists and plans everything to the letter proposed the less than twenty four hour wedding plan!”

“What can I say, I’ve made him spontaneous.” Rey smirked. 

“More like impatient- first he blows his plan for the perfect romantic beach proposal, then he suggests the hastiest of weddings? That boy cannot wait to start his life with you.” Rose grinned. “I’ve never seen a man so in love in my life!”

“I want to protest or argue that statement, but I really can’t. That man loves you on like, a whole other level.” Kaydel agreed. “And the way he talks about Luna? So cute! The most pure- Just! Chefs kiss!” 

“Did you just say chefs kiss instead of doing the action?” Rose asked bemusedly. 

“This is who I am Rosie, take me or leave me!” Kaydel scoffed. 

“I guess I’ll keep you. At my age making new friends is a whole ordeal.” Rose groaned playfully as she slumped against Rey’s shoulder. 

“What am I going to do with you two?” Rey sighed as Kaydel leaned against her other shoulder.

“Dunno. Love us, I guess?” Kay suggested. 

“Sounds about right.” Rey grinned. “I can do that.” 

……

The only thing Leia had asked of Rey was to be allowed to do her hair. Rey had easily accepted- having your future mother in law style your hair on your wedding day seemed much more important than getting it done at the salon. And she’d seen Leia’s hair expertise, so she had no worries about it ending up badly. She doubted she’d care even if it was a disaster- she’d marry Ben in an hour if Leia accidentally shaved half of her head, or turned her hair purple. They chatted quietly as Leia braided back a section of her hair and pinned the majority of it into an elegant sort of twist with a few soft waves framing her face. 

“I’m glad you got the wrist cast off before this.” Leia smiled as they glanced at the black brace on Rey’s wrist. 

“Not that the brace makes a more elegant statement! Honestly I usually forget about it being there.” Rey chuckled. “Though, I might take it off for the wedding. I called doctor Kalonia and she said it would probably be alright for the ceremony.” 

“Well, with or without it, you will make a beautiful bride.” Leia kissed the top of her head gently. 

“Thanks to your salon- they worked wonders with my face!” Rey insisted. A facial had left her skin glowing, and the simple makeup they’d applied had left her looking polished and lovely, with lips just a smidge darker pink than her own, highlights along her cheekbones, and a subtle Smokey eye framed by thin bands of rich chocolate liner. She looked like Rey, only more out together and polished. She looked like someone who belonged with someone who looked like Ben Solo. Like she could run in all of those upper crust circles Leia ran in. 

“Beauty’s not just skin deep my dear.” Leia said as she slid a hair comb into place. “This belonged to my mother. And to her mother. Padme wore it on her wedding day, I wore it on mine, and well, it already matches your wedding dress so well, I thought it would be a nice touch. If you don’t mind.”

“No- I don’t- I’m honored.” Rey insisted, blinking back tears and silently thanking the woman at the spa who’d insisted water proof makeup was an absolute necessity for weddings. 

“I’d say three generations wearing it for their weddings makes it a tradition. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll be putting it in Luna’s hair.” Leia smiled as their eyes met in the mirror. 

“Yeah- or maybe Ben will. He’s better at hair than I am by a mile.” Rey joked. Leia laughed loudly and patted Rey’s shoulders. 

“Han and I are both so glad Ben is marrying you. You’re so strong, and kind, and smart. I doubt there’s any other girl out there who could match Ben the way you do. You’re everything a mother hopes for when she thinks about her son finding someone someday. And I’m incredibly grateful.” 

“You’re just determined to make me put this waterproof makeup to the test, aren’t you?” Rey sniffled as she blinked back tears. She turned in the chair to wrap her arms around Leia’s middle, and the older woman embraced her affectionately. “I’m so glad that I have all of you. That Luna is going to have all of you.” 

“Forever.” Leia nodded. There was a bit of a commotion down the stairs as they broke apart, both looking at the door. Leia’s face went pale as Rey looked at her. “Oh shit.”

“What-“

“Nothing to worry about right now- I’ll send Rose and Kaydel in to help you get dressed, okay? The dress is just in the closet- I’ll be back in a minute!” Leia assured her as she rushed out of the room. Were she not weighed down by her belly and could get up more easily, she might have rushed after her. But not a minute later Rose and Kaydel came into the room carrying garment bags and holding their silver shoes. 

“Rey! You look incredible!” Rose gasped.

“I’m not even in my dress yet!” Rey laughed as she glanced down at her robe covered body. 

“Yeah, but you still look like a kriffing knock out!” Kaydel added as she tossed her dress and shoes on the bed and pulled out her phone. “Alright, act natural!”

“Kaydel, what are you doing?” Rey asked.

“We don’t have an official photographer, but I’m not letting all the memories go by without a few keepsakes! Just be casual. Rose, go touch up her makeup!” Kaydel instructed. Rose was quick to comply, dashing over to touch up the light highlight on her cheeks and the pale rose lipstick. Despite herself Rey was laughing with them, and Kaydel promised she got a few cute pictures before she had them all pose for a cheesy selfie in front of the mirror. 

“Okay, now we really have to get you dressed before Leia comes back and kicks our asses.” Rose insisted. 

“You two aren’t exactly dressed and ready yourselves!” Rey protested.

“Fine fine, lets all get naked.” Kaydel sighed, tossing her phone aside to begin shedding her clothes. 

“Also, our dresses are easier- we don’t need nearly as much assistance.” Rose added as she followed suit and tugged off her sweater dress before shimmying into the sage green draped maxi they’d chosen a few weeks before. “Badabing badaboom, instant bridesmaid!”

“Now who looks incredible!” Rey whistled, and Kaydel got her own dress on as Rey picked up Kay’s phone. “Okay you two, act natural!” She insisted as she took several shots of them posing outlandishly. “Gorgeous. So elegant.” 

“Okay Okay, lets get you into your dress now!” Rose clapped her hands in delight as she went to the closet. Kaydel snatched the phone back and kept taking pictures. 

“What, you’ll thank me later!” She insisted when Rey gave her a pointed look.

“Damn, I forgot how pretty your dress was.” Rose sighed dreamily as she unzipped the garment bag. Rey smiled as she looked at it again- it was a bit unconventional, but Leia had told her to get what made her feel beautiful, and well, if that was a dress covered in silver beading and layers of Smokey gray and blush pink tulle rather than white, then that was the right dress. “I’m going to cry just imagining you in it- I’m going to have no makeup left by the time you actually say I do.” 

“That sounds about right.” Kaydel chuckled. “Now let’s get the bride into her dress!” Rey slipped the robe off her shoulders- her undergarments were white and lacy, and as delicate as her expanded figure allowed them to be. Kaydel had tossed her phone down in an assurance that no photos would be taken while she got dressed, and her two best friends helped her step into the gown and then maneuver it over her bump. It was a little heavy with all of the beading, but not uncomfortably so- and the lining was as soft as a damn cloud. 

“I’m so glad you’re doing this today so you got a chance to wear this! Honestly it looks stunning.” Rose said as she started doing up the buttons. 

“I’m so jealous of your pregnancy boobs- look at those! They look amazing!” Kaydel declared. 

“Yes, but you haven’t seen the nipple situation.” Rey laughed. 

“The nipple situation?” Kaydel asked. “Wait, what happens to your nipples when you get pregnant?” 

“They get bigger for one thing.” Rey sighed. 

“How much bigger?” Kaydel asked, her eyes growing wide. Rey made circles with both of her hands and held them forward one at a time. 

“Before...After. The books Ben bought say they get darker, but so far mine are still normal.” 

“Shit, pregnancy is wild.” Kaydel huffed. “Honestly, I’m a little glad you’re doing it before me. Now I can just come ask you about all the weird stuff instead of having to read the books.” 

“To be fair, Ben’s the one who likes to read the books. I’ve got an app I use daily, and he bookmarks the things he thinks I should see in the books.” Rey shrugged. “It’s a system that works for us.” 

“Aw, little bookworm Ben.” Rose smiled. 

“Did you just call her fiancee little? Do I need to bring up his massive-” 

“Nope, the bachelorette party shenanigans ended the moment we walked out of the spa!” Rey insisted. “Not a word about any part of my future husband’s anatomy is to be uttered anywhere in this house! What if his mother overheard?”

“Oh, I don’t think Leia’s going to be done dealing with- Um, Ow!” Kaydel hissed as Rose elbowed her in the ribs. 

“Done dealing with what?” Rey asked, her mind flickering back to how pale Leia’s face had grown when she’d made a hasty retreat from the room. “Is everything okay downstairs?” 

“Yes! Everything is fine.” Rose assured her. 

“But just before Leia left there was some sort of commotion downstairs, and someone was yelling- Oh Maker, it’s not Snoke is it?” Rey suddenly felt quite dizzy. 

“No Baby, no!” Rose took her hand and pulled her gently to sit next to her on the bed. “Nothing like that. As if Chewie or Han would let that man within a hundred feet of this home.”

“Then why are you both acting so weird and Leia deliberately sent you two up here to keep me from following her?” Rey asked, crossing her arms. 

“Because Leia said we shouldn’t worry you on your wedding day, and I’m as scared of disappointing Leia Organa as I was of disappointing my parents when I was a teenager!” Rose groaned. 

“Well I am worried that no one will tell me what the hell is going on?” Rey laughed uneasily. 

“Oh for crying out loud, Leia forgot to call her brother to tell him that there had been a change of plans so they would have to reschedule dinner!” Kaydel said, tossing her hands up. 

“Kaydel!”

“Luke is here?!” Rey gasped. “Where’s Ben- is he okay?” 

“Han dragged Ben and Luke to the garage and told Leia it was time for them to hash out their issues. Locked the door too. Leia looked ready to kill.” Kaydel explained. “I mean, I know they don’t get along or whatever, But are things really that bad between them?” 

“Yeah, Kaydel, things are pretty damn bad!” Rey scoffed. She smoothed her hands over her belly and took a deep breath. “How long have we been up here getting dressed?” 

“Like twenty minutes? Maybe a half hour.” Rose estimated. 

“I’ve got to go see if Ben is okay-”

“Hold your horses!” Leia cried as she entered the room. 

“Leia, what the hell is going on?” Rey asked as she pushed herself up none too gracefully, with Rose helping her a little. “And Han locked Luke and Ben in the garage? what the hell was he thinking?!”

“I know, I know, I could just kick that scruffy nerfherder’s ass for that, but everything is okay.” Leia assured her. “Things are icy, but there’s a tentative peace. Ben even asked Luke if he’d stay for the ceremony. Luke offered to take pictures- He’s always been better at that stuff than me. We’ll probably end up with some decent shots.” 

“Hold on- Is Ben Okay? I feel like I should talk to him-” 

“I thought you’d say that. So I had Ben write you this note. Don’t want him seeing you in your dress before the ceremony. I’m going to run and get dressed myself now- everything is ready downstairs- we have about ten minutes to go time! Girls, get downstairs and help Poe figure out how to set up the livestream for Gwen and Armitage, he’s completely hopeless!!” Leia pressed the paper into Rey’s palm and then disappeared again. Rose and Kay both kissed her cheeks before the followed Leia; and, finally alone, Rey unfolded the note with trembling fingers. 

_Sweetheart,  
Everything Is alright. My Uncle even apologized for how he treated me back then- I apologized for burning down his studio. We aren’t on friendly terms, I don’t know that we ever will be, but at least for my mother’s sake, it would be nice if we could treat each other civilly. I did ask him to stay, so don’t worry that my mother had anything to do with that.   
I promise that I’m okay, Rey. I took a nap when you were at the spa, so I’m rested and ready to go. I feel like I’ve been walking on air all day, just waiting for the moment when I’ll finally get to call you my wife.   
My mother is telling me to wrap it up, so I will- but I’m so excited to marry you tonight.   
I’ll see you in a matter of minutes, Sweetheart.   
All of my love,   
Your Ben. _

She let out a long breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, and pressed the letter to her heart. Ben was alright. She’d been afraid that seeing his Uncle Luke today on top of all of the things he’d been through in the last few days with Bazine and Snoke would’ve been enough to send him over the edge- to break him. But of course her Ben was made of stronger stuff. She read over the note three more times, taking in Ben’s beautiful handwriting, and his reassuring words. The sharp knock at the door pulled her from the note, and she tucked it into the bag she’d brought with her to get ready for the wedding. 

“Come in!” She called, and Han poked his head in sheepishly. “Ah, there you are, you old scoundrel.”

“Hey! Scoundrel I own up to, but old? Old I take offense at!” He grumbled as he stepped into the room. “Maker, take a look at you sunshine. You look beautiful. Better than my son deserves- but that’s tradition in the Solo family- some how, we big, goofy scoundrels all manage to con some beautiful woman into marrying us.”

“Yes, con. It has nothing to do with your charm or the sweet streak you try to hide under a gruff exterior.” Rey smiled. “Heard you were trying to get my fiancée into trouble just now.”

“Look, Was it the best idea? No. Did it work? Sort of.” Han shrugged. “And it’s not like I shoved them in a cage and told them to fight- I went into the garage with them. I made sure no one broke anything.” 

“And Ben is really alright?”

“Yes, Sunshine. He’s just fine. Excited as I’ve ever seen him. As for Luke, I think I understand now that there’s a whole side to that story he hasn’t told us all these years. A side of the story I think I might owe him a punch in the jaw for, but today that’s neither here nor there. Today let’s get you and my son married.” Han said with a smile so like Ben’s. “They’re ready for you downstairs. Are you ready, Rey?”

“Yes.” Rey grinned. She shook out her limbs and gave herself a quick once over in the vanity mirror. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Then come on. We’ve got a wedding to get to.” Han offered her his arm. They walked out the door and down the stairs. Rose and Kaydel were waiting, each holding a little bouquet of roses while Leia held her bouquet for her. 

“I know I said it upstairs, but you look so beautiful, Rey.” Leia kissed her cheek and handed off the bouquet. “Alright. I’ve got to go start the music. Kaydel, Rose, you both know when to go- Rey, Han, wait ten seconds after Rose goes, and then you’re on.” Leia disappeared out of the patio door which had been covered in sage green curtains for the occasion.

“Maker, how did she manage to get all of this done? We gave her twenty four hours notice!” Rey laughed.

“Never underestimate what Leia is capable of with the existence of same day delivery and a whole host of loyal vendors she’s used for every gala and fundraiser she’s arranged for the last thirty years.” Han smirked. “She’s incredibly capable.” The music started- Annie’s Song. She and Ben had chosen that together easily. Kaydel and Rose both rush to give her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before they head out the door. Han offered her his arm, and she took it, resting her now brace free hand on his forearm. 

She took everything in in an instant that seems to stretch on forever as they pause just at the opened door. First she looked at the decorations and the guests- because she knew that once she looked at Ben, she wouldn’t be able to look away. At first she had to wonder how Leia had managed to get so many lights strung up in the backyard in one day- there were always the patio lights, no matter the season, but this was something else entirely- fairy lights hung artfully around the wooden posts. The normal patio furniture was gone, save for the heaters that were staples for winter, replaced by a small grouping of wooden chairs. Leia sat in one with Maz seated next to her. Amilyn was in the chair behind Leia’s, and Rey was glad she had been able to come on such short notice. Lando and his daughter Jannah were seated next to Amilyn, another honorary extension of Ben’s family. Luke stood off to the side with Leia’s good camera- the one she always said she’d learn to use properly, but never did- snapping pictures. Part of her was glad he’d come. Kaydel was right-it would have been a shame not to have pictures of tonight. There are chairs for Kaydel and Rose, and Finn and Poe, and a camera she knows is streaming to Gwen and Armitage. 

And finally, finally, she let her attention fall on Ben. Ben, who was standing at the end of the short aisle, looking kriffing stunning in his black tuxedo. His hair was tousled perfectly, his lips were curled into a smile, and his eyes were shining brightly at her as she started to close the space between them. He looked at her like she’s a goddess, some kind of divine sort of creature in silver and white under twinkling lights. Han kissed her cheek, passed her hand to Ben, and she was home. She would never be used to the way her hand looked tiny and swallowed up by his own- or the way a simple touch of skin on skin made her heart leap in her chest- or how the look in his eyes made years of pain and loneliness just vanish from memory. He was hers as she was his, and that was the way it was always meant to be. 

They hadn’t had a rehearsal- but it was easy enough to follow along with Chewie’s instructions as he guided them through simple vows and asked for rings. Poe slipped Rey’s into Ben’s hand before he resumed his seat. Ben cradled Rey’s hand for a moment, savoring the feel of her skin against his before he slid the ring into place very gently. 

“With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” Ben said lowly, running his thumb over the cold metal band he’d slid onto her finger- she didn’t realize she was crying until he reached up to smooth a tear off of her cheek. She leaned into his hand, and smiled reassuringly at him, hoping he knew these were the happy kind of tears. 

“Rey?” Chewie prompted. She reached out a hand to Rose who swiftly handed off the solid silver band, much larger than Rey’s own had been. She took Ben’s left hand in her own and slipped the ring onto his ring finger. 

“With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” She said softly before she lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles. Luna chose that moment to kick sharply against the front of her belly, and Rey immediately brought Ben’s hand to the spot. His eyes grew misty as he felt their child moving, still such a new and mysterious thing for him. “I love you.” Rey whispered. 

“I love you more.” Ben replied with a smirk. 

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you love each other- that’s why we’re here.” Chewie laughed. “Let’s see; that was rings, and vows, so I guess all that’s left is for me to say: I now pronounce you man and wife. Ben, you may kiss your bride!” 

Ben moved a little slowly for her liking, slowly raising a hand to cup her cheek and caressing the curve of it before he finally pressed his mouth to hers. It was a sweet, soft kiss- not what she wanted right now, but absolutely appropriate for the setting and the company. She carded her fingers through his hair, and kissed him back tenderly, pouring every ounce of love, gratitude, and longing into the action. Too soon they broke apart, and the group around them, though small, broke into riotous applause. She wrapped her arms around Ben’s middle as bursts of confetti flew towards them out of little sachets Leia had attached to each chair. Ben wrapped his arms around her, taking the brunt of the confetti with his massive shoulders. 

“Alright, let ‘em through, we’ve got paperwork to sign in the kitchen, or else all of this was just for show!” Chewie Chuckled as their family and friends closed in around them. He cleared a path for them and they followed after. When they got to the kitchen, Chewie gave them a knowing smile and made a show of patting down his pockets. “Ah, shit, wouldn’t you know I left the paper’s out in the car. Be back in a few!” He shot them a wink as headed leisurely through the front door. In an instant Ben had her in his arms again, his mouth was on hers, and this was exactly the sort of kiss she’d wanted all afternoon! Every line of his perfect, Tuxedo clad body was pressed along hers, and his mouth was hot and open and demanding against hers- it was a kiss of ownership, to claim- and oh, she wanted to lay claim to him in every possible way. 

“You look absolutely amazing.” Ben exhaled as they broke apart. 

“You look pretty incredible yourself.” She beamed up at him. She glanced down at their joined hands, and got her first chance to really take a look at their wedding bands. “Where did these come from?” 

“Well, Mom popped out and got mine from Tiffany’s this morning.” He said as her thumb brushed over his ring. He lifted her hand gently, and pulled her engagement ring from her right hand to put back in place on her left. It fit neatly into the curve of her wedding band, as if it had been made to fit there. “And yours, I actually found when I was Antiquing with Hux and Phas. It’s from the same jeweler that made the engagement ring, I couldn’t believe it when I found it- I did have to have it resized, but I knew your size already because great grandma’s ring fit you perfectly. Do you like it?” 

“It’s beautiful- perfect!” She assured him as she rose up on her toes to kiss him again. “Meant to be.” 

“Do you need to put your brace back on?” He asked, running his thumb over her wrist. 

“No, not yet- I think I can keep it off while we cut cake and sign the certificate. I know your mom will want pictures, and if I can avoid having the brace in some of them, I will.” She sighed. She lifted her right hand to caress his cheek. “Speaking of pictures- your uncle Luke is here- how are you, really?” 

“I’m...well, honestly, right now I’m kriffing ecstatic, because I just married you.” He chuckled, making her heart flutter and her stomach swoop. She ran her thumb over his lower lip and his eyes grew a little more serious. “It was a bit of a shock to see him again, I’ll admit. And at first there was yelling- but I think it’s possible that he and I will be able to talk out our differences. And even if we can’t, I...I’m just tired of being angry. Yeah Luke really did a number on me when I was younger, but in the end if you think about it, Luke put me on the path that led to you. And I have other people to be angry at right now. I don’t have the energy to be angry with him too. After he apologized, I just felt the anger leave. It was such a relief- and to have him admit it in front of my father…” Ben sighed and ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I don’t know. It just is a relief.”

“Of course it is.” She nodded. “And of course you’re tired of being angry- being angry is exhausting. Letting go of the past pain that you feel you can is great for you, Love.” 

“I don’t think he and I can ever be close again. Too much happened, too much time has passed. But I think no longer feeling the need to avoid him entirely is going to really help the entire family. I know it was tearing mom apart to have to decide which of us to see for holidays and birthdays.” Ben shrugged. “The whole family can be happier now.” 

“Well, Luna and I are happy if you’re happy.” Rey said softly. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and nuzzled his cheek against her hair. “Careful, if you mess up your mother’s hard work she might kill you- and I’d hate to be a widow on my wedding night.” 

“Mmm...You know, sweetheart, I’d hate to miss that myself.”


	33. All I Want Is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ““So, back to the real question, how long before you think we can get out of here?”
> 
> “Oh would you two just go already?!” Poe called over his shoulder as he and Kaydel were dancing closer to them. “There’s far too much sexual tension for the number of people at this reception!”
> 
> “Alright, who gave Poe booze?” Rey laughed. 
> 
> “I’m guessing dad broke out the whiskey?” Ben looked over at his father who just shrugged and dipped Leia as the music faded out. 
> 
> “He did- the good stuff!” Rose added, a bit red cheeked herself. 
> 
> “We don’t want to leave!“ Rey protested half heartedly. “We really should help clean up-“
> 
> “Oh don’t be stupid- you two kids get out of here. We can handle clean up.” Han insisted. 
> 
> “What my charming husband means is We wouldn’t make you clean up your own wedding reception, dear.” Leia smiled. “Besides, youve been on your feet all afternoon and evening now. I’m sure you need to sit down for a while.”
> 
> “More like lay down.” Rose snickered.
> 
> “More like get laid!” Poe guffawed.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Again, sorry it’s been slow going getting these chapters out- my life is weirdly hectic? But I’m working on trying to get them out more regularly! Anyways, we’re in the home stretch now- probably just like 10 ish chapters left, but don’t quote me on that because it could be more- I just really enjoy writing in this particular AU 😂 stay safe and healthy out there everyone! Much love!

“She’s really ticking off every tradition here, isn’t she?” Ben whispered in Rey’s ear as they swayed to “Something” by the Beatles. It was their first dance- because of course Leia had insisted on dancing. Not that Rey minded the opportunity to be pressed up against Ben with her cheek against his chest. The chairs had been moved out of the way, leaving just enough room on the patio for a little dance floor. 

“I suppose we’ll thank her for it someday. And Luna will probably like to be able to see the pictures.” Rey smiled down at the bulging belly she was leaning over to be able to press her cheek to Ben’s heart. “She’s in them, after all.”

“Mmm.” Ben hummed as he leaned his cheek against the top of her head. “So, the papers are signed, the cake is cut, we’ve danced...how much more do you think we have to endure before we can leave?”

“Are we leaving?” She asked.

“Did you honestly think we’d spend our wedding night in my parents guest room?” He chuckled quietly. “A B and B a couple miles from here. Best I could do on short notice. I thought maybe the beach house, but I don’t think even you would like it much in winter. Also, if it does start snowing, I don’t want to be in the middle of the long drive.”

“That’s okay. I don’t need to go anywhere fancy.” She shrugged. “I just want to spend the time with you.” 

“I’m still going to take you somewhere fancy, after all the dust has settled from the legal crap with the studio. And when Luna’s old enough to fly or be left with her grandparents for the weekend.” She rolled back her head to see his smirk. “Depends on how desperate I am to get you alone, I suppose.” 

“Aren’t you always?” She asked with a snort and his smile grew warm. 

“I am.” He kissed her forehead. The music had changed and now the other couples were dancing as well- it was a sight to see Maz drag Chewie out for a dance, looking positively tiny in comparison to the great big hairy man. Lando was dancing with his daughter, who were both laughing at some private joke, and even Luke and Amilyn had decided to take a turn. “Have I already told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“A time or two.” She smiled.

“Good. Because you look incredible.” 

“Well, that’s all Jannah’s design work and your mother’s spa.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, this dress looks stunning on you, Jannah is good at what she does. But the makeup and stuff, you don’t need that to look incredible. You’ve got this spark, this glow about you that’s just so innately Rey. And no one can take credit for that.” 

“Except for-“

“Can’t you just take a compliment, sweetheart?” He sighed. 

“Sure- but why accept a compliment when I can get you all flustered instead?” She giggled. He rolled his eyes, but she could tell by the curve of his mouth that he was amused. “Thank you, by the way. Your praise has been noted.” 

“Any time, Mrs. Solo.” He tipped her chin up and kissed her. 

“Technically I’m not Mrs. Solo yet. I didn’t get the name change paperwork in on time.” She frowned as she drew back. 

“A technicality.” He shrugged. “We’ll get the paperwork in. And in the meantime, might as well start getting used to the name, Mrs. Solo.”

“Mm, I don’t think that will be too difficult. I already love the sound of it, Husband.” She said the word with reverence. “Maker, this all feels like a dream. Twenty eight hours ago I thought I wouldn’t see you for eight weeks.”

“And now we’re married?” He added. “It’s pretty surreal.” She gently pinched his arm. “Um, ow?”

“Just making sure we’re not dreaming.” She smirked. “But it seems like we’re wide awake.” 

“Thank the Maker.” Ben laughed. “So, back to the real question, how long before you think we can get out of here?”

“Oh would you two just go already?!” Poe called over his shoulder as he and Kaydel were dancing closer to them. “There’s far too much sexual tension for the number of people at this reception!”

“Alright, who gave Poe booze?” Rey laughed. 

“I’m guessing dad broke out the whiskey?” Ben looked over at his father who just shrugged and dipped Leia as the music faded out. 

“He did- the good stuff!” Rose added, a bit red cheeked herself. 

“We don’t want to leave!“ Rey protested half heartedly. “We really should help clean up-“

“Oh don’t be stupid- you two kids get out of here. We can handle clean up.” Han insisted. 

“What my charming husband means is We wouldn’t make you clean up your own wedding reception, dear.” Leia smiled. “Besides, youve been on your feet all afternoon and evening now. I’m sure you need to sit down for a while.”

“More like lay down.” Rose snickered.

“More like get laid!” Poe guffawed. He and Rose high-fived before Rose turned to wrap her arms around Finn’s shoulders. 

“I’d apologize for his antics, but it’s a waste of energy at this point.” Kaydel shrugged as she patted his chest fondly. 

“How is it these two always end up drunk off their asses while we take care of them?” Finn asked Kaydel with a smile.

“Oh, I’m drunk off my ass too, I just handle my liquor better!” Kaydel laughed. “And Ro is a light weight!”

“Hey!” Rose protested.

“Absolutely she is.” Finn grinned at her as she scrunched up her face at him. “Babe, you’re so cute when you’re drunk mad.”

“Sure, you’re all adorable, now let’s stop blocking the door so that Rey and Ben can go!” Chewie bellowed good naturedly. Rey was quickly kissed and embraced by Kaydel and Rose before Poe tried to ruffle her hair and was promptly stopped by Finn, who gave her a tight hug that she returned with equal fervor. 

“I hope you know I really am so happy for you, Peanut.” He whispered as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Finn was comforting to her in an entirely different way than Ben was, but he was a warm and comforting presence nonetheless. Her first friend. Her first safe harbor in life. “I think Ben is probably the only man I could ever think deserves you. Because you’re one of the best out there, Rey. And you deserve everything.”

“Finn!” She squeaked, her throat tight with emotion.”I love you, You know.”

“I love you too.” He gave her one last squeeze before he let her go, then he took her hands. “And I know our relationship has changed a lot since we met- back when we only had each other. I know you can take care of yourself, and beyond that I know Ben can take care of you when he needs to. You’re just the first real friend I ever had, and you’re like a little sister to me. I think it was just hard to let go when I’ve spent so long being the only one who was there for you.”

“I know, Finn. And it’s okay.” She smiled a watery smile. “It can be annoying as hell sometimes, sure, but I do know it comes from a good place. You were always there for me when I needed you, and I’ll always be grateful for that.” 

“Well, we’ve both grown up a lot since then, haven’t we?” He glanced over his shoulder where Rose was trying to reach up to pet Ben’s head. “And we’ve both found someone good for us.”

“An understatement.” Rey insisted as she watched her now husband duck his head and allow Rose to rumple his hair with the patience of a saint. Finn nodded, and they squeezed each others hands before letting go. Rey turned to hug a waiting Han and Leia. “I don’t know how to thank you both for everything you’ve done for us- not just today, which was perfect, but this whole time. Since you met me, really, I can’t even begin to find the words.”

“You don’t have to.” Han shrugged. “We know.”

“I just love you both so much. I can’t remember my parents, but you two are what I wish they would’ve been like.” Rey admitted. 

“Flaws and all?” Han laughed. She nodded.

“Flaws and all.” Leia was grinning at her as she pulled Rey into another hug. 

“Now, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,but seeing as you and my son are legally married now, you could always call us mom and dad if you wanted to.” Leia said as she kissed her cheek. “Or mama Leia, at least.”

“Thanks mama Leia.” Rey felt the familiar prick of tears at the corner of her eyes again. 

“Rey? Are you ready?” Ben asked as he placed a hand on her lower back. His father clapped a hand against his shoulder.

“You take good care of our sunshine now kid.” He said, with a voice that sounded suspiciously watery.

“Hey, who’s parents are you?” Ben smirked as he leaned down to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Mom, I can’t even-“

“I know, Benny boy.” Leia smiled as she smoothed out his black hair. “Now, you two get going before Poe makes any more stupid jokes about your sex life.”

“Them leaving will not stop me!” Poe called and Leia just rolled her eyes. 

“Then you’re the one who’s going to have to bring the chairs up into the attic.” She shot back, and Poe groaned. “We’ll see you two in a few days.” 

“You will.” Ben agreed. They made a few more quick goodbyes and disentangled themselves from drunken hugs before they finally made it to the car. Ben helped her lower herself into the front seat, and carefully tucked her skirt inside the car before he closed the door. As he climbed into the car, she couldn’t help but think about how insane it was that this man- this Adonis looking, lumberjack bodied, marble statue of a man had somehow fallen for her. Had married her, and chosen her above anyone else- had decided it was a good idea to combine their gene pool and everything! “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Because you- you’re my husband!” She declared proudly. “And you’re so kriffing attractive- legitimately a beautiful man, and you’re officially all mine, and now…” she grabbed his left hand to run her fingers over the ring she’d placed on his finger. “Everyone will be able to see it.” 

“I’ve been yours since the day I met you, sweetheart.” He lifted their joined hands to his lips and brushed them against her knuckles lingeringly. Her heart fluttered as he looked at her through his lashes. His cheeks were still flushed pink from her compliments, and he looked positively delicious. He kissed her knuckles once again, this time quickly, and then straightened up and cleared his throat. “Buckle up, Mrs. Solo- we’ve got a whole lifetime to start living tonight.” She let go of his hand to maneuver the buckle so that she could strap herself in and have the belt situated so that Luna would be safe too. 

“Pregnancy issue I did not think of or know about in advance, number ten thousand one hundred and six: having to wear a seatbelt weirdly.” She griped as she reached over to rest her hand on his thigh. He gave her his little half smile as he backed out of the drive. 

“Ten thousand one hundred and six huh?” He asked. “That many issues and you still want to try to do this again so soon?”

“Not an issue, I guess, so much as a scenario- Pregnancy scenario I did not think of or know about in advance number ten thousand one hundred and six.” She shrugged. “And why wouldn’t I- it’s like your mom said, your genes are so good, it’d be a shame not to put them to good use at least twice. And that’s...well, given my body being a mess, that’s probably all I’m going to be able to do. If that.” She trailed off and glanced out the window. He set a large hand on top of hers and squeezed her fingers gently.

“Hey.” He prompted softly and she looked over at him again. “Rey, you know that even if Luna is the only baby we have like this, we’re still going to be happy, right? We’re still going to be a whole family. And We both wanted to adopt! We have plenty of rooms to fill  
In the new house.”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I just sometimes think of Rose and Kaydel, and well, a lot of women out there my age who’ve still got like, twenty years to have kids if they want. They could space them out and they have the luxury of deciding if they’re done having children.” She paused, and Ben just waited patiently, squeezing her hand again in a show of silent support. “At the same time though, I’m luckier than so many women out there. Women who can’t ever have babies and want them- and how many of those women can’t afford to adopt? I’m so fortunate to be able to carry a baby at all- and I shouldn’t be thinking of all of this on our wedding night of all nights! I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. If this is what you need to talk about right now, then I want to listen.” He insisted. 

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Right now I want to think about nothing but you and me, and the fact that we’re married and together.” She huffed. “Of course, it is a little hard to think about nothing but you and me when a third party is constantly tagging along.”

“Yeah. But I don’t mind so much.” He smiled softly. 

“Yeah- I don’t either.” Luna had settled down about half an hour ago- she usually did around this time of night, sleeping comfortably, safe and warm in her mother’s belly. “Where are we going? How far is it?”

“It’s really very close by. About five more minutes.”

“I didn’t know there were any B and Bs around here. But I suppose I’ve never had reason to look.” She shrugged. “It was nice to chat with Gwen and Armitage tonight.”

“It was. My only regret in this whole thing was that they weren’t here in person- but I know they understand.” Ben smiled softly. “Though, Hux did say I owed him one for all of this. And I definitely do.”

“We could ask them to be Luna’s godparents.” Rey suggested. 

“Seriously?” Ben asked.

“Yeah, if you want us to. Not just because you owe them one, but they’ve been your friends through thick and thin for over a decade. That is the kind of loyalty I want Luna to be witness to.” Rey explained. “...and, okay, maybe a little bit because I feel bad about them having to miss the wedding, but honestly they were one of three choices so we had a pretty good chance of choosing them regardless.”

“I would love to ask them to be the godparents, Rey, I’m just surprised you’re not gunning for Rose and Finn.”

“Eh. They can have the next one.” Rey shrugged. “And after that Poe and Kaydel better get a Godchild or we won’t ever hear the end of it.”

“You’re so right.” Ben laughed. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“You don’t have to thank me for this.” She assured him. She turned to look out the window again as he stopped driving and her brow furrowed for a moment. “Ben?”

“Yes?”

“This isn’t a B and B.”

“Very good observation, sweetheart.” She punched him lightly on the shoulder.

“This is our house- or the gate to the community our house is in. Kriff, we have a house! Or we are going to in a few weeks-“ he stopped her rambling by dangling a set of keys in front of her face. “I don’t understand.”

“I may have offered them a substantial bonus if they’d be out by the time I got home from the tour. They accepted, but then I wasn’t going to be home for a while so I guess I forgot to mention it. But now…” he smiled as he cupped her cheek. “I’d say it makes a hell of a wedding present, huh?”

“Ben Solo, you're a hopeless romantic!” She pulled him to her to press her lips to his. 

“I’ll warn you in advance, there’s almost no furniture or anything yet. But I did arrange delivery for the bedroom set you wanted.” She saw his cheeks go pink in the dim light of the car’s interior. 

“Why, Benjamin Solo, were you hoping to get laid tonight?” She asked with mock surprise. 

“Might’ve been. Can you blame me? Just look at you, You’re like the living personification of sex.” He shrugged casually.

“Well, how could I say no when you use such fancy words?” She giggled as she gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Take me home, Husband.”

“Whatever you want, wife.” He rolled down the window and scanned an ID card he produced from the glove box. The gate swung open, and a thrill of excitement ran up her spine- this was it! Their first night as a married couple in the house they’d chosen together, the house where they’d raise their Moonbeam, and whatever other children they had or adopted into their family. “I swung by to get my ID card while you were at the spa. We can get yours tomorrow.”

“This is so wild!” She laughed breathlessly as her eyes scanned over the few houses in the neighborhood. She’d never seen them at night, but right now they were all decorated to the nines for Christmas. She felt a bubble of joy in her chest and clapped her hands. “Ben! We have to decorate for Christmas!”

“Yeah?”

“Yes! I’ve never had an actual house to decorate! Much less an exterior!”

“Why do I have the feeling a lot of inflatable cartoon characters are in our future?” He groaned. 

“Because you know me!”

“Fine. But I maintain the right to veto.” He said as their house at the end of the street came into view. It was a stand out, being that it was the only one that wasn’t sporting some sort of holiday decor. 

“Just the classics?” She offered. 

“I can live with the classics.” He smiled. 

“...but if they have that Christmas dragon I saw when Rose and I were shopping for lights last year, we are getting that!” She added with a grin. 

“What the Kriff is a Christmas dragon?” He asked as he hit a button that opened the large garage. 

“A dragon celebrating Christmas, obviously.” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh Obviously.” He chuckled. He parked the car and the garage door shut behind them. An automatic light had turned on when they came in, and for a moment they sat in the dim glow in silence, soaking up the reality that they were home. Their own home. “Mom has Artoo sweep it this morning. No bugs.”

“Oh- good. I’m glad she thought of that.” A weight she hadn’t realized she was carrying fell off her shoulders. “Well- I guess we should actually get inside.” She made to open the door and he reached across to stop her. “Ben?”

“You stay right where you are, Mrs. Solo.” He grinned wolfishly at her as he clicked her buckle and then his own and climbed out of the car. In an instant he was around the car and had opened her door. He ducked down and scooped her up, grunting a little with the effort. She squealed and clutched at his shoulders. 

“You’re going to throw out your back!” She protested.

“I lifted with my knees!” He assured her as he nudged the car door closed. “Did you think I was going to let you walk over the threshold?”

“Mm, no, I suppose we could do without any more bad luck, couldn’t we?” She huffed, and he smiled sheepishly at her. She grabbed his chin in her hand and kissed him. “Okay then, husband. Carry me over the threshold!”

“With pleasure.” He strode across the garage and fumbled with the door for a second before Rey waved his hand away and turned it for him. He kicked it gently to make room for them to pass through it, and took them into the house. “Now just to find the damn light switch.”

“If you'd set me down, I could help you.” She pointed out. 

“Just turn on your phone flashlight.” He said stubbornly. 

“My phone is in your pocket.” 

“Just grab it.” She did- and if her hand “slipped” and he had a moment where he went a little weak in the knees, she would go to her grave insisting it was unintentional. “Are you trying to get me to drop you? Or are you determined to spend our wedding night on the floor?”

“Mmmm- as tempting as that is, I don’t think either of our backs would thank us for that.” She sighed as she flicked on the flashlight. The house was empty, and in the glow of her flashlight it was almost eerie. Except… “Kriff, we really couldn’t spend the wedding night on this floor- we’d end up with terrible rug burn!”

“You don’t want to defile the orange carpet before we throw it away and replace it with hardwood?” He smirked as he shouldered on the newly found light switch. 

“I’ll consider it- but not for tonight.”

“No, definitely not tonight.” He murmured as he ducked his head down to kiss her. 

“Are you ever going to let me just walk?”

“We have one more threshold.” He insisted as he headed down the hall to the place she knew the master suite was located. Later she’d take her time going through the house-their new house!- step by step with Ben and deciding what changes should be made, what would need baby proofed, how many surfaces were too many surfaces to cover in Christmas lights and decor. But for right now, she wanted to take her time focusing only on her new husband. She started pressing featherlight kisses against his throat, and then attached her mouth to his pulse point briefly. He groaned, the sound resonating against her lips as she resumed the gentle kisses. When he got to the door of their room, he huffed a little sigh. “Kriffing finally” 

“Someone’s impatient.” She giggled against his skin. 

“I’ve been staring at you in that gorgeous dress for hours- if anything I’ve shown incredible patience.” He insisted as she reached to turn the doorknob so that he could open the door with his shoulder. He set her gently on her feet in the dark room before he flicked on the light switch, flooding the room in warm white light. She allowed herself a moment to just look at the bedroom- the set she’d sent Ben a picture of from a local dealer was there, the light colored wood contesting beautifully with the navy accent wall. Funny, she’d thought they’d need to repaint, but she could easily picture leaving the room this way, hanging their wedding photos on that blue wall above the bed, hanging their clothes side by side in the walk-in, covering her nightstand with little trinkets from their adventures. The floor was already a nice hardwood- thankfully and confusingly, the orange carpet appeared in the den, and on the stairs, but nowhere else- and she grinned when she noticed that there was a large, plush white rug under their bed. “Pleased?”

“Hm?” She turned to look at her husband, who was leaning against the doorframe with a lazy sort of smile on his handsome face as he finished undoing his bow tie and the first few buttons of his collar. “Oh- yes, immensely pleased. This...it’s everything I imagined it- I love the bed! It’s even better in person than online!”

“I bought the same kind of mattress that we have at the penthouse- you told me you liked it?” He said hopefully. 

“Most comfortable mattress ive ever slept on.” She nodded. They kept staring at each other, and she swore the very air between them started to crackle with electricity. She turned back around slowly, holding his eyes until the last possible second, and then glanced at him over her shoulder. “I don’t suppose you’d like to help your new wife take down her hair? And with these buttons? I’d quite like out of this dress.”

“My pleasure.” He rasped, and in an instant she felt his long, kriffing magical fingers in her hair. He removed the hair comb almost reverently, and brought it over to set on her nightstand. “I’m glad you wore that today- when I was a kid it was one of my favorite heirlooms…” he made quick work of the rest of the bobby pins securing he hair as he spoke. “Mom always wanted to make sure I knew as much about the family we’d lost as possible. Well, the family she was proud to be a part of anyways. And she’s incredibly proud to be Padme Amidala’s daughter.” Her hair dropped around her shoulders and she moaned a little as he buried his fingers in her hair and lightly massaged her scalp as he searched for any stray pins. Finding none, he quickly walked back to the nightstand to drop the rest of the pins. “After she realized she couldn’t have more kids, and no daughters were forthcoming, she used to tell me that this hair comb, and grandma Shmi’s ring were all going to be for my future wife. I felt special, knowing that such precious, special things were waiting for me- for the person I found to be my wife- to be my family. Overtime I barely remembered that they existed, I’d distanced myself from my family and my roots for so long…” he moved her hair to drape over one shoulder and gently kissed down her throat, skimming his nose and then his lips over the skin exposed by the low back of her gown. He spoke between kisses, lovingly covering the expense of her skin. “No other woman ever made me remember them- until you. They were always meant for you, Rey Solo.” 

“Ben!” She breathed, her heart starting to pound with anticipation as his tongue started out to taste the salt of her skin. 

“Yes, wife?” He asked as his finger traced her spine. 

“You gonna unbutton me?” She asked. He hummed in thought as he traced the column of her throat with his nose. 

“But you look so lovely in this dress.” He protested. “It hugs every single curve just right.” He ran his hands over the swell of her belly, to the beaded bodice that really did huh and accentuate her glorious pregnancy cleavage. “But if you insist…” 

“I do.” She nodded as his fingers frustratingly ghosted from her chest down to her back to undo the long line of buttons. His meticulous guitar training had granted him nimble, graceful fingers that dealt with buttons quickly and effectively. She felt the dress start to droop as he progressed down her back, and she tugged the straps off of her shoulders so that the dress could pool at her feet when he finally undid the last button. He moved around her, and gave her his hands so she could carefully step out of the dress, and helped her sit comfortably on the edge of the bed before he knelt at her feet to undo the ankle straps of the soft pink flats she’d been wearing all day. She buried her fingers in his hair and raked her nails gently over his scalp, delighting in his every little shudder and hitched breath. He tossed one shoe over his shoulder, and then the second, holding her eyes the entire time as he bent to press his lips to the curve of her knee. She whimpered at the contact, and his eyes, already dark and lusty, turned obsidian as he watched her tip her head back. 

“You are insanely gorgeous.” He muttered against her thigh. He ran one hand up to squeeze her hip, which was covered in white lace, the sexiest underwear she’d donned in months. “And all of this…you look like every fantasy I ever had of a future wife on my wedding night.” 

“Big pregnant belly and all?” She asked, arching a brow at him. 

“That doesn’t detract from the picture, Rey. Maker knows it adds to how much you affect me.” He assured her. “I adore you- every inch of you.” 

“Come up here and kiss me.” She huffed impatiently, and he laughed as he rose up on his knees to comply. No matter how many times Ben kissed her, she would never be used to the sparks that ignited inside of her with every gentle brush of his lips- she nipped his lower lip gently and gripped his tuxedo clad shoulders tightly for a moment before she started tugging at it to free his beautiful body from the confines of his clothes. He pulled back slightly to gain more room to maneuver out of his jacket, and she leaned forward as much as she could to avoid breaking the kiss. When air became a necessity she jerked back and leaned against the bed to watch as he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off of his shoulders before quickly peeling off his undershirt. She grinned a private little smile to herself as more and more of his creamy skin came into view- he was just so damn built- and when she caught a glimpse of his new wedding ring glinting on his finger she felt a primal possessive thrill shoot up her spine. A delighted little voice in the back of her mind let out a continuous whisper of “husband husband husband, holy shit, this is my husband!”

“See something you like?” Ben asked huskily as he shucked his pants. 

“Yes- very, very much.” She beamed up at him. A part of her felt sad that with her baby bump in the way she wouldn’t be able to have him on top of her, with every line of his body pressed against hers- of course, Luna was worth that- and she’d still be able to get close to him. It would just take a little more creativity than it once had. 

“I’m glad. The feeling is mutual, by the way.” He grinned at her, his dimples made her melt just a little, and she could feel her legs tremble with the force of her need for him. How had she survived six weeks without him? Six weeks of agonizing sexual frustration as her hormones drove her to new levels of emptiness. “What do you want Rey?” He asked quietly. 

“You know what I want.” She insisted as he smoothed a hand over her trembling thigh. His massive hands could cover so much of her skin at one time- it made her stomach flip. 

“Say it.” He whispered, his voice gruff as his fingers curled into the edge of her lace pants. 

“I want you to make love to me. Right now.” She insisted. 

“So impatient. I was going to taste you first.” He smirked. 

“Later.” She laughed as she lifted her hips to allow him to tug the lace down her legs. 

“You look incredible in this, by the way.” He said as he ran a hand over the lace covering her torso. “Absolutely incredible.”

“I’d feel better if I were out of it.” She waggled her eyebrows at him, and he laughed as he snaked a hand around her back to undo the clasp. The lace was easily discarded as he rocked back on his heels to drink in the sight of her.

“On your side.” He whispered, and she nodded as she scooted herself backwards. She absently noted that this was even the bedspread she’d told him she liked after seeing it online a few weeks ago. But then, Ben was nothing if not attentive to every little detail when it came to their life together. She laid down on her side facing him, and shivered in anticipation as he joined her on the bed, facing her as he ran a hand from her cheek, down her side to her hip, and then to the curve of her knee. He tugged her leg up over his hip, opening her body to him, and she gasped as she felt him, hard and ready, perfectly positioned to be inside of her if he’d just move his hips a bit more- she rocked towards him automatically, drawing him closer, but at this angle, with her belly in the way, she couldn’t quite close the distance. She whimpered in frustration, and he swallowed the sound with a bruising kiss. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“Please…” she was quite sure she’d never wanted him quite this badly before- never needed him as much as she did right now. She was almost sobbing with the ache of not having him inside of her- and then, mercifully, with a tilt of his hips and an adjustment of her own with his giant hands, he slid home, and a small sob of relief actually bubbled through her lips. 

“Look at you…my beautiful, beautiful wife.” He growled as his hips canted against hers again and again. 

“Again!” She gasped, and her eyes fluttered open to see a satisfied smile on his lips even as he continued to press into her. 

“My wife. My beautiful, perfect, sexy wife.” He groaned as she nipped at his pulse and rocked to meet his hips with what little momentum she could pick up under the weight of her belly. “Mine.”

“Yours- your wife!” She laughed, but the sound turned into a choked gasp as he snaked a hand down between them. “Ben!”

“Come for me.” He commanded, his tone gruff. She was helpless to obey, gasping and shuddering as he hit just the right spot and she bit his shoulder gently To muffle the sound of her scream of pleasure. He let out a hoarse shout as he followed after her, and the kiss he gave her as they came down from their high was heart meltingly sweet. His hands gently traced her fevered skin as she tangled her fingers in his silky hair, and nuzzled against his neck. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” She breathed, and he let out a chuckle.

“Impossible, Mrs. Solo.” He kissed the top of her head, and she felt warmth spread through her whole body at the sound of her new name. After a few quiet, blissful moments, she let out a heavy sigh, and he reared back to look at her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I just wish I didn’t have to get up yet.” She groaned as she pushed herself into a seated position. “But I really have to pee.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” He rose to offer her a hand to help her stand. When she came back into the room, he tossed her an oversized blue t-shirt, and she noted he was wearing loose gray sleep pants. She tugged the t-shirt over her head and smiled fondly at the curve of her belly. 

“You know, soon I probably won’t even fit in your shirts anymore.” She lowered herself onto the bed and he sat behind her to wrap his arms around her and cup her belly. “I’m huge. And I’m only going to get bigger.”

“Well,I wouldn’t say you’re huge. But yes, you’re going to get bigger, because you’re growing our daughter.” He shrugged like it was the most natural thing in the world- and maybe it was. She leaned her head back to rest against his shoulder and he kissed her cheek softly. 

“This is all real, isn’t it?” She asked hopefully.

“Of course it is.” He promised. “You’re my wife, now. The mother of my child. My family. My everything.”

“We actually did it.” She laughed softly. “We actually got married within a twenty four hour time frame, and your mother didn’t complain even once!”

“In the end, I think she just wanted us to be happy. And I think we are. Happy.” He said softly. “I’m unbelievably happy.”

“Ben…” she twisted to face him, and gently cradled his cheek in the curve of her palm. “I can only think of maybe one other moment I’ve ever been this happy. And that was when the doctor confirmed that I was actually pregnant and that everything looked good.” 

“I understand. That’s one of the best moments of my life too.” He grinned tenderly at her, and kissed her palm. “Did you want to look around or anything? Are you hungry? I ran to the store to stock the fridge when I was making sure the furniture got delivered okay and Artoo was sweeping the place for bugs.” 

“Right now, I’ve been on my feet too much today, I’m tired, I’m still absolutely, blissfully sated, and all I want is to fall asleep in my husband’s arms for the first time.” She requested. 

“Well...I think I can manage that.” He kissed her palm one more time before he got up to dim the lights. She was positioning the pillows behind her when he got into his side of the bed, and she gladly abandoned most of the pillows in favor of using him as her body pillow. He was more than happy to let her as he wrapped one of his broad, strong arms around her and settled his other hand on her stomach. She nestled contentedly into his chest and let out a happy little sigh. 

“Perfect.” 

“You are.” He kissed her temple, and she squeezed him just a bit tighter. “I love you so much.”

“I know.”


	34. It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “  
> “Well, I’ve got a cart full of lights, still need stuff for the the tree, and I’ll have to get some of those classic characters we agreed on. Unfortunately there are no Christmas dragons.” Rey updated him.
> 
> “No Christmas dragons huh? What are you going to base all of your decor around now?” He asked with a chuckle. 
> 
> “I did see the worlds most massive Santa Claus. Like. Possibly as tall as our house.” 
> 
> “You wouldn’t.” ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long! I just started a new job so my life has been hectic, which is probably why this chapter is basically all Christmas fluff- because who doesn’t need a little Christmas in September? Anyways, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there! Much love!

“I can’t believe you’re just gonna let Ben pick out all the furniture!” Rose huffed as she followed behind where Rey was putting boxes of Christmas lights into her shopping cart.

“Why? It’s just furniture.” Rey shrugged. “And honestly Ben has much better taste than I do, so I’m sure he’ll choose nice stuff.”

“But this was your chance to decorate a whole house!” Rose insisted. 

“It’s not like he’s going to choose things I’ll hate Rose!” Rey laughed as she pushed the cart further down the aisle and picked a selection of icicle lights. “My only real strong opinion is about the nursery, and we’re working together on that. Otherwise it’s just furniture, it’s functional. And Ben knows what sort of stuff and colors I like, it’s not like he’s going to choose black and chrome everything. Besides, buying all the Christmas decor is infinitely more fun!”

“I guess.” Rose pouted. “But the fact that you’re not buying the drip effect icicle lights is a travesty.”

“What- where are those?!” Rose pointed to the shelf above the others. “Ah, see, this is why I bring you with me.” 

“I am excellent at finding things I can’t reach.” Rose laughed as she stood on her toes to attempt to reach the drip lights. “Here, I’ll put the other ones back, and you grab the new ones. Teamwork makes the dream work.”

“Absolutely.” Rey grinned as she swept a few of the boxes into her cart. Rose stuck the last box back on the shelf and looked at Rey with a critical eye and a small smile. “Okay, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Married life really suits you. You’re glowing. Like, not just that pregnancy glow, but it’s more than that. You look so happy- thought that could just be because Ben is finally home and you’re finally getting some on a regular basis.” Rose waggled her brows. 

“Rose!” Rey hissed, glancing around to be sure they were alone. 

“What? Am I wrong?”

“...no.” Rey blushed. “It is...very good to have him home.” 

“And has anything happened? With he who shall not be named?” Rose asked hesitantly. Rey’s shoulders stiffened and she took a deep breath before she shook it off and pushed the cart further down the aisle. Ben had been home for a week now, and though they’d kept to themselves for two days following the wedding, the real world had started up again. 

“Yes. Amilyn has been handling most of it- she’s bad ass.” Rey replied, keeping her eyes on all of the brightly colored decor options. “Ben’s been in meetings with her for hours every day. It’s going to go to trial now, they’re basically certain. The thing is, I don’t think the First Order even wanted it to go to trial, because they typically just settle or intimidate people into backing down. But Amilyn says that Ben has a case, so...he’s not backing down.” 

“And you’re on board with that?” Rose asked. 

“Yes.” Rey exhaled sharply. “I mean, do I wish we didn’t have this going on right now? Of course. But this monster has gotten away with way too much for way too long. Ben has been through way too much because of him.”

“You just seem tense?”

“Well, I am like six months pregnant so I’m sore and stiff in general, then there’s the fact that my new husband is facing a multimillion dollar lawsuit, the world thinks he’s engaged to someone else who basically assaulted him. It’s just a lot on my plate.” Rey huffed. “So I’m glad we got to hang out today. I do wish Kaydel could’ve come.”

“She and Poe had brunch with her family today. So. I’m sure she wishes she was here too.” Rose sighed. “Her dad is...old fashioned. He’s uh, not Poe’s biggest fan.”

“Right. Doesn’t like his daughter with someone bisexual.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“Honestly it’s sort of amazing her dad even agreed to have brunch with them- her sister had to be a go between. All in all I’m sure its been very unpleasant morning for her.” Rose lamented. “I’m sure she’ll be glad to come help with decorating later so long as I pick up some hard cider. Which I was going to do anyways.”

“Well, I guess she’s earned it.” Rey agreed. She frowned as she perused the tree light options. Families were so incredibly complicated- she’d spent so much of her life wishing she had a family that it never factored into the dream that a family could be awful to each other. Had the power to hurt each other so badly because they were the ones whose opinions mattered to you. Her family had abandoned her and hurt her that way, but would they have hurt her worse by keeping her? Would she ever have met Ben if her family hadn’t basically sold her for drinking money?

“Earth to Rey Rey?” Rose said softly. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.” Rey smiled stiffly. “I think those Star twinkle lights would be pretty in Luna’s nursery, don’t you?” 

“Aw, getting stars for little Luna?” Rose grinned. 

“Yeah- originally I wanted everything green and forest themed but that was before we knew she was a she, and before we found her name. Now we’re leaning more towards a space theme.” Rey’s smile became more relaxed as she talked about her daughter, who was currently doing all sorts of weird somersaults in her belly. 

“Well I think that’s super cute!” Rose agreed.

“Well if it has the Rose stamp of approval it must be okay!” Rey laughed. She felt her phone buzz and she fished it out of her pocket. “Hello?”

“Hey sweetheart. I just finished up arranging deliveries for some furniture- how’s Christmas decor shopping?” Ben asked. 

“Well, I’ve got a cart full of lights, still need stuff for the the tree, and I’ll have to get some of those classic characters we agreed on. Unfortunately there are no Christmas dragons.” Rey updated him.

“No Christmas dragons huh? What are you going to base all of your decor around now?” He asked with a chuckle. 

“I did see the worlds most massive Santa Claus. Like. Possibly as tall as our house.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“You’re right, even I drew the line there.” Rey laughed. “Don’t you worry Mr. Solo, Rose and I have gotten lights enough for every surface of our house. And a very tastefully sized sleigh and reindeer inflatable option.” 

“Still think you should’ve gotten the weird Christmas flamingo!” Rose insisted, leaning in to Rey’s shoulder to be heard better over the phone.

“Did Rose just day the words “Christmas flamingo” unironically?” Ben asked.

“There is in fact a large blow up flamingo standing on a present, wearing a Santa hat and a scarf. Pretty ridiculous!”

“This from the girl who wanted a Christmas dragon?”

“Hey, flamingos are real, they live in warm climates and would never need a scarf or a hat. Dragons are fictional, so who are we to say they don’t celebrate Christmas?” 

“Well, you’ve got me there.” Ben chuckled. “I’ve got to go meet with Amilyn in about five minutes here, but I left dad and Chewie at the house with the people putting in the new flooring- dad insisted it was necessary. I finished up arranging delivery for the living room furniture and a dining room set. Thought that was enough to get us started.”

“I can’t wait to see what you picked out!”

“Should I be afraid to see what you picked out?” He asked good naturedly. 

“Absolutely. Once this cart is full I’m going to send Rose back for a second, and after your meeting you and I are going to go pick out a real Christmas tree!” Rey insisted triumphantly. She and Rose had always had a tiny fake tree for the holiday, but she had always wanted the real deal. “And next year will be even better because it’ll be Luna’s first Christmas on the outside!” 

“You make it sound like our daughter is doing hard time.” Ben scoffed. “Okay, just about to head into Amilyn’s office. I’ll let you know if anything major comes up- if not I’ll see you at home this evening. We can go out and grab the tree while everyone else waits for take out, if we trust them unsupervised in our new home.”

“I think we trust them just enough.” Rey smiled over at Rose where she stood debating between two different tree garlands. 

“Alright, I love you sweetheart.”

“Love you too.”

….

“If Ben doesn’t show up soon can we just...start without him?” Poe asked. 

“Poe!”

“What? Kay won’t let me drink any of the eggnog or cider because she doesn’t want me drinking before I help hang the outside lights, because she doesn’t want me “falling to my death” because “that would make her dad way happier than he deserves.””

“Hey! That’s not the only reason I don’t want you to fall off the roof. I would also miss that fine ass of yours in my bed.” Kaydel waggled her brows suggestively, and Poe guffawed loudly before he looked at his fiancée with soft eyes and a secret sort of smile. He kissed her forehead, and Rey felt her chest ache at the idea that just that morning she knew that Kaydel’s father had told Kay that a man who claimed to like men and women would never truly love her, or any woman. But Rey knew how much Poe loved Kaydel- it was the tender way he’d always find an excuse to run his fingers through her hair, the way he gave up Chinese takeout in solidarity when Kay found out she was allergic to both soy and sesame, and how when Kay was having a bad day he’d say he just happened to be going by Kaydel’s favorite bakery on his way home, when everyone knew very well the bakery in question was a full half hour drive past his office in the opposite direction. Poe had a big heart, was one of the kindest people she knew, and an attentive, supportive partner to Kay. Kay who’d shown up at the new house with Poe directly after brunch with red rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks she’d tried to hide behind her brilliant smile. 

“There is nonalcoholic cider for little mama, you could have some of that.” Rose suggested as she sipped at her own cider. 

“Little mama?” Rey asked, and Rose just shrugged. “That makes me sound like I’m a pregnant teenager or something. I’m a married woman with a house now!”

“And what a house!” Finn whistled. The men working on the floors had just finished when Rey and Rose had gotten back to the house, and without the orange carpet, the space was exactly what she hoped. True, they were currently sitting on camp chairs because most of the furniture wouldn’t be delivered until the next day, but it was home. And Rey knew exactly where they’d put the tree. “Maybe I should’ve gone into music, gotten us a giant house.”

“Ah, but there’s the beauty of it: we get to come visit our friends at their super nice giant house, we can use their heated pool, eat in their fancy dining room, watch movies in their home theater, all the perks, but we pay for nothing, and do no upkeep.” Rose smiled as she snuggled into Finn’s shoulder. 

“Plus, it wouldn’t have worked out- we’ve heard you sing bud.” Poe smirked. Finn’s reply was cut short by Rey’s phone going off. 

“It’s Ben- hey love, where are you?” She asked. 

“Put on your coat, come outside.” He insisted. 

“What? Why?” She asked even as she was getting up to do what he asked. 

“Just trust me.”

“Always. Okay. Just a minute.” She sighed as she hung up. “Ben wants me to come outside.”

“Does that mean we have to come outside?” Poe asked. 

“Come on ya big baby.” Kaydel gently poked his ribs. Rey smiled at them as she grabbed her coat and shrugged it on. She opened the door and blinked for a moment as she tried to make sense of what was in front of her. Then it dawned on her. Ben stood, grinning sheepishly, Amid half a dozen different Christmas dragon inflatables. 

“Ben?” She gasped as she crossed the yard to him. 

“Merry early Christmas sweetheart.” He said as she reached him and wrapped her arms around him. 

“But you said no going overboard- you said classics only!” She laughed. 

“Yeah, but you said you wanted a Christmas dragon. And there are so many more of those online than I ever could have imagined. So I just chose the six most awesome ones and hoped for the best.” 

“How’d you do this without me noticing?” 

“I temporarily turned off the front security camera that notifies us for movement in the yard, I had Rose shut the blinds and turn on some loud Christmas music. Then I had Poe complain so you wouldn’t get suspicious.” Ben smirked.

“I resent that!” Poe called from the porch. 

“Ben- you didn’t have to do this!” She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. “You’re too nice to me!”

“Not possible.” He protested. She pulled him down by the lapel of his coat to kiss him, and she waved off her friends as they cat called from the porch. “You wanna go pick out that tree?”

“Yes!”

“Hey, can we go ahead and start on these outside lights? I want to have some eggnog!” Poe called. 

“Yeah, that’s fine- we’re going to a lot not far from here. Shouldn’t be more than half an hour!” Ben called back. 

“Rose is in charge!” Rey added as Ben took her hand to lead her to the passengers side of the car. “Rose, don’t let them spell out dirty words with Christmas lights- I don’t want the new neighbors to hate us already!” 

“Fine, but you’re making your holiday decor boring on purpose now!” Poe Hollered back. 

“How is it boring? We have six different dragons!” Rey scoffed. Poe just shrugged. 

“Hey, think about what you want for dinner- I’ll order for everyone as soon as we get back!” Ben said before they finally got in the car. “So, what are the odds we come back to an electrical fire?”

“It’s fifty fifty.” 

“Fair enough.”  
…..  
“Do you want to go to bed?” Ben asked softly, his hand trailing up and down her arm. She shook her head even as her eyelids drooped and leaned heavily on Ben’s shoulder. “You don’t usually stay up this late anymore.”

“I don’t wanna move. Too pretty.” Rey sighed as she took in their Christmas tree- it was perfect. It was the first tree she’d laid eye on at the lot, and they’d bought it without having to look for more. It was lush and full in the front with some gaps and gangly branches in the back- it had character, or that’s what Rey said tearfully when a salesperson had mentioned that tree wasn’t likely to sell because of its scrawny back. Decked out lovingly in tinsel, lights, and carefully selected ornaments, you couldn’t see a thing wrong with it. And oh, it smelled divine. They’d had such a lovely time decorating it with their friends after the boys had finished with the outside, which was now beautiful and sparkling, just like the other houses in the community. 

“I know. But it’ll be here in the morning. Plus, these camp chairs are killing my back, so I can’t imagine yours is fairing much better.” He chuckled. “But the new couch should be here tomorrow.” 

“That will be more comfortable for snuggling in front of the tree.” Rey smiled. “It’s just so cozy feeling in here, and we don’t even have furniture yet!”

“You might be the only person who insisted on a tree and lights before a coffee table and actual chairs. Come on. We can stay up late tomorrow night, curled up in a blanket, drinking cocoa, looking at the lights…” Ben kissed her temple. She sighed as she pushed up from his shoulder so he could rise. She pushed herself out of the low chair with a groan. “You know, I could help you.”

“Oh, let me cling blindly to what little stubborn independence I have left!” She laughed. “Soon I’m going to actually need the help all the time- sooner than I’d like, probably; my sense of balance is quite thrown off.”

“Well, Ill help you any time you need it.” He insisted.

“I know you will.” She took his hand and kissed the back of it devotedly. “I’d say you should help me out of these clothes, but…”

“It’s okay. I’m tired too.” He shrugged. 

“Yeah, but you’re wearing your work jeans, Solo- and you know what those do to me! Or rather, what they do for your ass.” She groaned. “And you haven’t even worn them in months!”

“Sorry sweetheart.” He chuckled. “I’ll wear them again tomorrow and you can watch me move some furniture around.”

“Promise?” 

“Absolutely.” He tugged her gently towards their bedroom. She yawned as she pulled her shirt over her head and accepted his offer of one of his shirts. 

“Some newly weds we are. Married a week and already settled into a full, sexless marriage.” She teased as she shimmied out of her maternity jeans. 

“Sexless?” He scoffed. “You’re pregnant with my baby!”

“Technically that happened before the marriage...so…” she shrugged. “My fault for marrying such an old man.”

“I’m nine years older than you!”

“Eight and a half!” She corrected despite herself. “I mean...ancient and old and tired.”

“I thought you were tired- are you trying to rile me up?” He asked pausing with his shirt in his hand.

“As good as you look in just the work jeans, we probably should just go to bed tonight.” She agreed. “But...tomorrow morning…”

“The furniture delivery is coming at 9.”

“I wake up at almost seven on the dot to pee. But after that-“

“Scheduling sex? Maybe we are a boring married couple.” He laughed.

“It’s not scheduling. It’s building anticipation.” She corrected. He chuckled behind her and kissed her neck. She reveled in the attention for a moment before she climbed into bed. He joined her a moment later and flicked off the lamp before he wrapped her in his arms. They enjoyed the quiet, the sweet stillness of the night and the gentle rolling of their daughter in her womb. A thought flashed across her mind and she frowned. “We’re going to love her no matter what, aren’t we?”

“Of course we are.” Ben squeezed her hip gently. “There’s nothing that could ever stop us from loving his kid. What brought this on?”

“Kaydel and Poe had brunch with her dad today.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He’s not happy she’s engaged to a “delinquent”.”

“I know.” Ben frowned. 

“And Poe is- he’s one of the best out there, you know? And her dad still...I just can’t stop thinking about it. About how I’ve had no real examples of a healthy family. About how everyone I know comes from a home that’s broken in one way or other. Abandonment, drug addiction, neglect, even death- families just seem to fall apart no matter how hard people try to keep them together and I can’t stop thinking about it!” She sniffed. “I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I might fail her.”

“You can’t think like that. You’re not the kind of person who’d fail anyone. You’re strong, and stubborn, and determined. If there’s someone you love, you don’t stop loving them- and you’d do anything to protect the people you love. To make them happy.” He carded his fingers through her chestnut hair gently. “Of course there are things out of our control. We don’t hold life or death in the balance, but I can tell you right now, I will never walk away from you, from Luna, from any other children we might have. I made the mistake of running from my family once before- I won’t be doing it again.”

“You’re going to be the greatest dad, you know?” She whispered softly. 

“You’re going to be a great mother. The best.” He insisted, his voice just as soft and soothing. “And you don’t have to worry about us ever becoming like Kay’s dad. I’ll hate anyone who dares to dare my perfect daughter equally.”

“Ben!” She laughed, giving his chest a playful slap. 

“Kidding.” He smirked. “We’re going to make some mistakes along the way, Rey. It’s just going to happen because that’s what life is. But as long as we do everything we can to make sure our kids are loved and safe, and healthy? I think we’ll do okay.”

“As long as I’ve got you, Solo, I think I’ll manage just fine.” She yawned again.


	35. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas grows ever nearer- the Solos bask in their newly wed bliss and try to ignore the trouble waiting just around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful souls! I’m sorry I haven’t uploaded in a while- also, sorry the Christmas portion of this story keeps dragging on. Originally it was going to be one, now it’s planned as a solid three chapters of winters, Christmasy fluff! I’m just really feeling the fluff and also the Christmas because it just snowed for the first time at my house- so...tis the season. This chapter and the next chapter are mostly pure fluff, then back to regularly scheduled actual plot 😂

Presents began appearing under the tree every day. Rey was overwhelmed by the sheer number of gifts Ben had for her- she’d done her best to keep up with her own money, but it seemed like every time she blinked there was another immaculately wrapped present under the tree.

“Gift giving is Ben’s love language.” Rose shrugged when Rey had brought it up. “He’s always buying people food and presents. It’s just how he is.”

Still. It didn’t make Rey feel much better when she saw the paltry pile of poorly wrapped presents addressed to Ben. He caught her staring at the pile in dismay, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Next Christmas it’s going to be all about Luna. Let me take this Christmas and make it about you.” Ben insisted as he pressed kisses to her sweater clad shoulders. 

“You don’t have to spoil me like this.” She insisted in turn and he chuckled.

“I know I don’t have to. That’s one of the reasons I want to. And it’s not as if we’re hurting for money, sweetheart. And we bought gifts for the entire orphanage,plus several generous donations to other charities. So it’s not as if someone’s going without just because I got you a little extra.” 

“I know that, but I can’t keep up-“

“It’s not a contest, Rey. And if it was, you’d be kicking my ass.”

“Come again?”

“In the last six months you have given me your hand, your heart, and a baby.” He turned her to face him. “You’re incredible, sweetheart. And you’re the greatest gift of all.”

“Oh Ben…” her lip quivered. “That’s so ridiculously cheesy!”

“Then why are you on the verge of tears?”

“Because I’m pregnant and that was ridiculously cheesy!” She huffed. He kissed her forehead softly and held her close. “And technically I haven’t given you a baby yet.”

“Technically.” Ben shrugged. “But I love our little girl as much as I’ve ever loved anyone. Whenever I feel her kicking and moving under my palm, I just get this feeling in my chest- this tiny little life, this thing that was the size of a poppy seed is alive and hearing sounds and wriggling around. And she’s my daughter- you know? She wouldn’t be here without you.” 

“She wouldn’t be here without you either.” He held her for a few more minutes in the glow of the Christmas lights. 

“Hux and Phasma are coming home.” He finally said. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Should be here the day after tomorrow.” Ben nodded, his chin just grazing her hair. 

“So Snoke finally gave up demanding you return and cancelled everything officially?” 

“Yeah. But he’s furious. Honestly I’m glad Amilyn is handling all of the communications with First Order right now- the idea of having to sit face to face with Snoke and listen to him yelling-“ but shuddered. “Especially since I’m under best behavior orders from Amilyn. Punching him in the face again isn’t exactly an option.” 

“Does she have any idea when all this will go to trial?” Rey drew gentle circles on his back with her fingers. 

“No. For all of Snoke’s big talk, he seems determined to use all of his connections and resources to delay as long as possible. It’s a typical first order tactic, honestly, delay, annoy, intimidate until the opposition settles or gives up entirely. But he’s never seen anyone like Amilyn. That woman is a lot like my mother- stubborn, and made of steel. Once she’s accepted a client, there’s nothing that will stop her from winning for them.” 

“What’s even Snoke’s endgame? Money? Getting you under another contract?” She asked, and for a moment Ben’s only reply was a dark chuckle.

“He has more money than he needs, and after everything I’ve done in the last six months? I don’t think he’d sign me if it meant millions .” 

“Then what?”

“Well, he has to make an example of me, of course. Show his other artists what happens if a single toe is out of line. Humiliate me and take my money, if he can. Make it so no studio would ever sign me again. I’m sure he wants you to leave me.”

“Well, that’s not happening.” She promised.

“I know. But that won’t stop him from trying to pull something.” 

“Let that bastard come. We’ll be ready.” She said it firmly, leaving no room for argument. Luna kicked hard against her belly button as if to agree with her mother. Ben kissed her deeply, thoroughly, and she tangled her fingers in his hair. 

“You know, I haven’t gotten to eat you out on the new couch yet.” He whispered huskily as they broke apart.

“A real shame.” Rey swallowed, her throat suddenly dry as she felt him backing her up. 

“Well…” he smirked as her calves made contact with the sofa. “There’s no time like the present.”  
….  
“Okay- we got Poe that cologne he likes, the cashmere socks, the offroad bike, and the ridiculously expensive chocolate sea salt truffles. We got Kaydel the voucher for the tattoo parlor she likes, new airpods, a giftcard to victoria’s secret, and those boots- then we’re getting them both the weekend at that bnb and the bottle of whiskey?” Rey confirmed as she looked up from the pile of wrapping paper and gifts that seemed to surround them on all sides. 

“And yet Poe will probably still complain that us giving joint gifts means less presents for him.” Ben grinned as he folded another crisp wrapping paper edge. 

“How do you do that?”

“What?”

“Your presents all look professionally wrapped- mine look like they got run over by a bus!” Rey huffed. 

“THey do not.” Ben laughed. “But if you feel bad about it, I can do the wrapping. You check the list, make sure we didn’t miss anyone.” 

“Ah, checking our list, just like Santa.” Rey smiled as she picked up the list written in Ben’s immaculate handwriting. “Maker, is there anything you don’t do perfectly?” 

“Mmm. I’m terrible at tennis.” Ben smirked. 

“Scandal!” Rey gasped, smiling at him warmly as she looked back at the paper. “You got Hux that blazer he liked in France- holy shit- you got him a sixty three thunderbird?!” 

“He’s had his eye on that particular one for a while. My dad has a contact that told him the owner was finally selling- So I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse before he put it on the market.” Ben shrugged. 

“How are you so good at gift giving?!” Rey groaned. “And you got him and Phasma a cruise?!”

“To be fair, it’s easy to be good at giving gifts when you have the money.” Ben rolled his eyes. “And these are from both of us.” 

“Everyone is going to know it’s your money.” 

“Our money. And you helped pick everything out. I wouldn’t have had a clue what to get Rose or Kaydel. Or Finn.” Ben shrugged. He set a neatly wrapped and labeled gift aside and picked up another gift from the pile. 

“Phas gets silver earrings, the montblanc pen, and...what is this?” 

“Oh- it’s some fancy caviar. Phas might be a heavy metal singer, but she is extremely bougie. She loves the finer things.” Ben smiled fondly. Rey bit her lip- she wondered if these gifts were a good gage for what he got her for Christmas- and how the hell was she supposed to compete? He said it wasn’t a competition, but it still felt like… she cleared her throat. 

“Mmm. For Rose we got those new roller skates- plus helmet and elbow guards, as per your suggestion.” 

“I’ve seen how clumsy Rose can be- especially if she’s been drinking, and you can’t tell me Rose wouldn’t put on the skates and try to drunk skate down some stairs.” Ben insisted. “And it’s a nice helmet. She’ll like it.”

“I’m not saying she won’t. Plus, it makes another present for her to open and she loves opening presents. Okay- roller skates and protective gear- that customized book stamp for her “library”, gift card for that salon she’s been wanting to try, and the record player with Taylor Swift on vinyl ...did we go overboard with the gift giving?”

“Nah. Well. Maybe. But again, I’d like to point out why shouldn’t we? We have the money, we’ve made sizable charity donations, and these are our friends who’ve been extremely supportive of us despite all of the ups and downs of the last few months. So to thank them for everything they do for us, why not spoil them for Christmas?” 

“Well when you put it that way.” Rey smiled. “Okay, Finn is getting that sweater, the roller blades and accompanying safety gear, new running shoes, and the new set of wine tumblers- then both of them are getting that snack around the world subscription, and Apple TV?”

“Yes- I just wrapped that actually.” Ben gestured with his head to the box wrapped in elegant gold paper. “Oh- I tracked down that wine for my mother!”

“What wine?”

“From that vineyard in her home town that burned down when she was younger-you know, old Alderaan?” 

“Oh! No way- I thought you said there just weren’t any bottles left!”

“I didn’t think there were. But I found a collector who had duplicate bottles of the original vintage.” Ben smiled. “And he charged me just a little less than I was willing to pay for it.” 

“And you’re sure it’s authentic?”

“I had it looked at. And you chose that sweater and earrings for her- and then she not so subtly hinted she wanted a new watch, so I got one of those as well.” 

“Oh- I found some vintage Nerf herders merchandise I thought we could get for Chewie and your dad. I managed to find the original vinyl of “millenium”- you know the one with your mom on the cover.”

“You didn’t.”

“I definitely did.” 

“You have to wrap it, I can’t see it.” Ben shuddered.

“Why? Because of the golden bikini?” Rey asked.

“No child wants to see that much of their mother.” Ben insisted. “I could’ve gone my whole life without knowing my mom was some sort of weird seventies and eighties sex symbol.”

“It’s really on brand for her though- posing for an album cover like that to break the stereotype that she was a prissy stuck up senator's daughter.” Rey smiled slightly. “And she looked great.”

“Ugh- I don’t want to think about it.” Ben insisted. “I bought dad that new combination grill and smoker he’s been debating buying for himself since last summer. The old ones on its last legs and he’ll be devastated if it gives out and he can’t make his famous ribs.”

“Mm. A worthy purchase.” Rey agreed. She looked up from the list in silence, biting her lip. “What about your uncle?”

“I thought we got Chewie that computer.”

“We did- I meant your other uncle. You know. The one you’ve agreed to see on holidays etcetera for the sake of family unity and your mothers happiness?” Rey prompted gently. Ben pursed his lips and folded his hands. “We don’t have to get him anything, who even knows if he’ll be at your moms Christmas thing-“

“Of course he’ll be at my mom's Christmas thing! He hasn’t been invited for years because of me, and I know that was making my mother miserable, so do you really think he’s going to continue to make my mother miserable when I’ve already said I’ll see him? Now if he doesn’t come, I look like the bigger person, and he won’t be able to stand that.” 

“To be fair, you genuinely are the bigger person. In like, every definition of the word.” Rey teased gently. “We don’t have to get him anything. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“No- we should. We should get him something. Gift giving was always a huge kriffing deal in our family when I was growing up. Not getting someone a gift when they’re spending Christmas with my parents is the equivalent of spitting in their eye.” Ben sighed heavily. “I don’t know what to get him. Another beige oversized sweater? More of the weird green protein powder he’s always drinking? I genuinely don’t have any good ideas.” 

“Could we get him something generic? A gift card?” Rey suggested. 

“Yes and no. We could, but we’d never hear the end of it.”

“Well, what does he even like?”

“How should I know? I’ve barely spoken to the man in well over a decade. Other than the talk at our wedding I haven’t spoken to him. I know what he used to like, but now he’s a crotchety old man!” Ben snorted. “But he’s always kind of been a crotchety old man.”

“Well what did he used to like?” Rey asked. 

“Toffees. He loved toffees. He’d always have some in his pockets, in his glove box, in a jar on his desk. Said they were his guilty pleasure, but he never tried to hide them.” Ben recalled, his forehead wrinkled in thought. “I wasn’t kidding about him liking beige oversized sweaters. He has a collection. Essential oils, too. He always loved essential oils. Given how he smelled at our wedding, I’d think it’s safe to say he still loves essential oils.” 

“We could get him toffee. I know it’s not extravagant, but it is Christmas time, so candy is never unwelcome, and it is personal because it’s something you remembered about him despite not speaking all those years.” 

“I suppose it’s as good an idea as anything.” Ben nodded. “They had toffees at the place we bought Poe’s chocolates from. I can call in another order.”

“Well if you’re doing that, also get some more of those chocolate covered raspberries they make. And the gingerbread meringue cookies!” 

“Is this a craving?” Ben grinned at her as she blushed and looked down at her still growing belly. 

“No. It’s just my infamous sweet tooth. I work overtime getting enough vitamins and vegetables for Luna so that I can indulge in my chocolate.” She said a little defensively.

“Hey. Look at me. I wasn’t judging you or trying to make you feel badly. Okay? I know how hard you already work at being a good mom. You can eat however much chocolate and sugary crap you want, and I won’t judge.” He reached across the space between them and laid a hand on her shin. “Plus. How can I judge when you have seen me eat almost an entire chocolate cake from Maz’s on at least two occasions.” 

“Okay but who could blame you though, that’s the pinnacle of desserts.” She smiled. “And the second time, you were pretty wasted.”

“I stand by the decision. I’d do it again. I’m going to be a dad now, so I’ve got to work on my dad bod.” Ben winked. 

“Please, you love exercise more than I love chocolate.” Rey snorted. “You’re about as likely to have a “dad bod” as I am to grow another arm. And technically, if I’m already a mom, you’re already a dad, so any bod you have is a dad bod. Also, I can’t believe you knew the term Dad bod!”

“Well-“ his phone rang, and he fished it out from under piles of wrapping paper. 

“Who is it?”

“Amilyn.” He said before he put the phone to his ear. “Hey, Amilyn what’s going on?...oh...well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.”

“What’s she saying?” Rey whispered. 

“Snoke refused to meet with Amilyn if I wasn’t present.” Ben related with a sigh. “Yes, just Rey….right. Well. The sooner the better I suppose. Before the baby gets here, ideally….of course. Okay. Well. Call me when you agree on the details. Thanks, Amilyn.”

“Why does he need to see you face to face?” Rey asked anxiously.

“I’m guessing he’s got a message to relay to me. And I’m guessing he doesn’t want anyone else to over hear or oversee it.” 

“But you’ll have Amilyn with you-”

“He’ll find a way. He’ll always find a kriffing way.” 

“When?”

“Next week. Amilyn’s going out of the country for Christmas, and I sure as hell won’t go without her. She definitely already told me I wasn’t allowed.” Ben chuckled. “Saying that makes me feel like I’m a kid again, and Aunt Ami just caught me doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing. For being such a badass lawyer, she did always let me off easy.”

“That’s sweet.” Rey smiled. 

“It is. This...This is all going to be okay.” He exhaled, the sound heavy. “We’re going to be okay, you and I. And Luna. The three of us. We can make it through whatever’s going to happen with the First Order.”

“That sounded like you almost believed it.” He leaned across the space between them to cradle her cheek in one giant palm. She leaned into the warmth of his skin and inhaled softly. “Ben? We are going to be okay. No matter what. I’ve lived with literally nothing before, so I know I could do it again if I had to. The only thing I can’t live without now is this. Our family.” 

“You’ll never have to. And You’d never have to live with nothing. Even if Snoke did manage to somehow get all of my net worth, which seems unlikely, but he’s got his ways, Do you think my parents would let you and Luna end up with nothing? At the very least they’d take you in, and you know it.” 

“THey’d take all three of us in. They do love you, Benjamin Solo.” She squeezed his hand gently. “Besides. That’s all just arbitrary at this point, Love. The Amilyn Holdo I’ve come to know won’t be losing to that old, grumpy, curmudgeony skin bag.” 

“No, she won’t.” Ben smiled softly, his dimples appearing. Rey’s heart fluttered at the sight- he just managed to look so damn good all the time- it really wasn’t a fair distraction. She cleared her throat and leaned back slightly. 

“What- um- what time do we have dinner with your parents?”

“Six thirty, why?” 

“N-nothing. No reason. Just might want to eat a snack before then.” She stammered as she tried to push herself up off of the floor. Ben was up in a flash, pulling her gently to her feet, and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “Thanks.” 

“Any time.” She bit her lip as she watched him sink back down to the floor to wrap another gift. “Rey?”

“Hm?”

“You’re staring?” 

“No!”

“Um, okay?” Ben laughed. “You’re not staring. You’re just looking in my general direction?” 

“Maybe I was staring a little bit. You’re just very distracting.” 

“Am I?” He asked, a wolfish little grin forming on his plush lips. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know how attractive I find you. False modesty isn’t a good look for you.” She sniffed- but that was a lie. Every single kriffing thing was a good look for him. She licked her lips as he slowly started to rise from the floor again. “Ben, I-” Her stomach snarled furiously, and she looked down at it in surprise, then looked back to Ben. Their eyes met and they both burst into a fit of laughed. “...I guess I actually do need a snack.” 

“Come on. I can cut up those apples and you can dip them in peanut butter.” He suggested as he took her hand. Her mouth started to water at the suggestion. “If you’re really nice to me I might even make you chocolate oat milk.” She couldn’t help the little moan that escaped her lips at the thought of it. 

“How are you such a perfect husband all the time?” She asked as he led her to one of the stools by the kitchen island. 

“It’s easy when I have the perfect wife.” He shrugged. 

“Now you’re just being a suck up.” 

“Is it working?” 

“Mmmm, I’d say so. Not that I could love you much more than I already do.” 

“Then I’ll just have to prove you wrong.” He kissed her lips briefly before he headed over to the fridge. He had to bend down to get the apples from the produce drawer, and Rey greatly appreciated the sight. 

“You wore your work jeans!” She gasped, and he looked over his shoulder with a grin. 

“Took you long enough to notice.”

“You were covered in presents and wrapping paper!” She insisted, her eyes drinking him in. “Why are you wearing them?” 

“Told dad I’d help him move a few boxes out of the garage, and the attic. If I’m going to get covered in dust and spider webs, I’m going to wear my work jeans.” He shrugged. 

“Mmmm. I approve.” She smiled, and a soft giggle burst from her lips when he did a little wiggle to show off his ass. “You can be so silly sometimes Ben Solo, and there’s not a soul that would believe me if I were to tell them that.” 

“You bring out the lighter side of me. You always have. With you being silly doesn’t feel stupid, it’s just fun. I love to make you laugh.”

“Well you’re very good at it.” She assured him with a grin. “But then, what was it you said you were bad at? Just tennis?”

“Uh huh. That’s it. That’s the one thing I’m bad at.” Ben rolled his eyes. Mm. Actually that’s not true. I can’t bake bread either.”

“Gasp! Horror of horrors- whatever shall we do with out home baked bread! It isn’t as if we can go to any number of grocery stores or bakeries and purchase literally that for almost no money!” Rey smiled wryly as Ben slid the tall glass of chocolate oat milk to her. “I love you so much.”

“Are you talking to me or the chocolate milk?”

“...I don’t see why I have to pick one or the other.”


	36. Mad Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ He stopped short as he saw her, his dark eyes fathomless as they traced over her form, drinking in every inch. Poe made a comment under his breath about sexual tension, but she paid him no mind as she observed Ben in turn. He was dressed in a navy velvet tuxedo that fit him like a glove- impeccably tailored, and yet so tight she couldn’t fully comprehend how the buttons on his shirt were actually staying put.”
> 
> Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas at all without a Leia Organa Fundraiser Ball!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh this chapter really got away from me- what was meant to be pure fluff became mostly plot. You’ll see what I mean 😂 sorry for the wait!

“Oh son of a- shit!” She hit her closed fist against the bathroom counter and exhaled furiously through her nose. “Damn it!”

“Rey?” Ben called tentatively through the closed door. She heard him get up and cross the room with his heavy footsteps. “You okay in there sweetheart?”

“No! But yes- but no!” She groaned. 

“Can I come in?” He asked, the door knob jiggling as he laid his hand on it. 

“Fine- but don’t laugh!” 

“Why would I- oh- my- what is…” Ben pursed his lips as he took in the sight of her awkwardly wedged into a   
Silky green dress which had fit like a dream when she bought it last week. Her arms were stuck at an unnatural angle, her boobs were almost completely popping out, and it only half wanted to cover her ass. “Do you need help?”

“...yes.” She pouted. She heard the smallest sound of amusement rumble from his lips as she turned her back to him. She’d managed to get the zipper half way up before it had jammed, leaving her trapped. He tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. “I don’t know what happened- it’s like it welded shut!”

“It’s okay, Rey. One way or another we can get you out of this...thing.” 

“This “thing” looked really great on me when Rose and I went shopping last week. But then yesterday I noticed my belly had really, really popped, and I guess my boobs did too?”

“They definitely have.” His voice rumbled as he pressed his lips to her neck before he knelt down to put the zipper at eye level. “Why did you try it on tonight if you didn’t think it would fit?”

“Because we have two days before your mothers stupid fancy formal Christmas ball fundraiser thing and I was suddenly terrified the nicest dress I owned wouldn’t fit, and I was right!” 

“Hey. It’s okay. We can find you something new.” He ran one hand soothingly over her hip as the other worked at the jammed zipper. “Besides. That fundraiser is black tie. We’re both going to have to be decked to the nines.”

“I hate to buy another dress- I would say I’ll just wear my wedding dress again, but that probably won’t fit anymore either.” She sighed. “I don’t understand how it got so stuck!”

“We might have to cut you out.” He said, and she groaned. “It’s really mangled- I don’t know how you managed it but honestly I’m a little impressed.”

“This dress was almost a hundred dollars!” She protested. Ben said nothing behind her as he continued to work at the zipper diligently. “I...I realize that that probably doesn’t seem much to you, but it’s just- if I needed to I could’ve fed myself for months on a hundred dollars. I can’t imagine just shredding a hundred bucks- I can’t believe I just ruined a hundred bucks!”

“Well- what if we recycled it some how? There’s a lot of nice fabric here, I’m sure we can think of something to do with it.” Ben suggested. 

“I...I suppose a baby dress made with the fabric could be very cute. And I could have a matching skirt made, I’m sure it would be enough after I have the baby- and there’s probably even enough for a matching tie for you. We could get those cheesy family pictures where we’re all matching. Your mom would love that.” She smiled. 

“She would. I’m sure I could ask Jannah for a good seamstress. They hire exclusively local.”

“Okay. Okay. Do it. I’m starting to feel like I can’t breathe in here.” Rey shook her head as Ben reached past her to grab a pair of scissors from the medical cabinet. “Kriff I’m glad actual Christmas with your family isn’t formal. I don’t imagine I could recycle a dress at a Leia Organa Solo party.”

“There were definitely formal years, don’t think their weren’t. But now mom almost always has the gala a few days before Christmas, and dad has to get dressed up for that, and he absolutely refuses to don a tux or a suit more than once in a week. Now we all wear holiday sweaters. Don’t worry, mom always picks them out for everyone so you don’t need one in advance.” He snipped into the fabric that was restricting her shoulders, and instantly she felt better. 

“Well I hope she got me something giant, or else it won’t fit by the time Christmas rolls around in five days.” Rey groaned. “Oh- and Poe is still insisting our own personal “family Christmas” be Christmas pajama themed. Kaydel found a grinch onesie shes very excited to debut.”

“I don’t have to wear a onesie, so I?” Ben asked in horror as he freed her to the center of her back. 

“Maker no- I couldn’t find one that would fit your build in the time allotted! I got us matching red and black flannel pants and black thermal tops.mine says “mama bear” and yours says “papa bear”. Maybe a little too cutesy for us, but I saw them and I just couldn’t help myself!” Rey smiled. “And it’s not as bad as the pajamas Rose bought for her and Finn- marching footie pajamas- mr. and Mrs. claus.” 

“I can only imagine what Poe will show up in.” Ben laughed. His hands smoothed over her sides gently as he pushed the dress off of her torso. The fabric slid down her body and pooled at her feet. “And you’re free.”

“Do we really have to go to the fundraiser?” Rey sighed. “Don’t answer that- we definitely do. We have to support your mom ahead of the real campaigning.”

“You do realize everyone there is going to know who I am- and when they see us together it’s going to leave very little doubt about our relationship.” Ben said warningly, but even as he spoke his lips curled up at the edges. 

“That a problem Mr. Solo?” She asked softly as she turned and rested her hands on his chest. 

“Not at all, Mrs. Solo.” He grabbed her hips and brought up one hand to rest on her belly. “But...since the article with Bazine, I don’t know how the press is going to react, Rey. What they’re going to say.”

“I don’t care what they say.” Rey insisted. 

“I do. I care what they say about you.” His hand slid up between her breasts to cradle her cheek. “I’ve always been a black sheep in the opinion of the press. I don’t want them thinking you’re tarnished by the proximity.” 

“Kriff that! Ben- You are a good man, and a better husband. People who say you’re anything else don’t know you. Not the way that I do, Ben.” She twisted her face to kiss his palm. “They don’t see the man who is literally willing to wake up at two on the morning to make his pregnant wife pancakes. They don’t see the man who wears a purple sweater he hates to dinner at his parents house because his mother bought it for him and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. They don’t see the man that sings a lullaby to his unborn daughter every night. And if they did-“

“They’d be absolutely flabbergasted, for a start. I’ve got a reputation.” He chuckled darkly. 

“Well, you can be short tempered and sullen.” She rose onto her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “But I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

“Was that Luna?” He laughed as the baby landed a solid kick against the front of her belly. 

“I told you she starts kicking like crazy whenever you start talking.” Rey smiled fondly. “But in all seriousness, she probably gives us a good excuse not to stay too late at the gala, right? Like- people cannot expect a heavily pregnant woman to stay to the end of an event, can they?”

“I forgot how much you don’t like crowds. You really are perfect for me.” Ben grinned.

“Please, you play giant crowds all the time!”

“Yes. But I don’t have to interact with them.” 

“Touché.” She wound her arms around his neck and leaned in to burrow her face into the fabric stretched across his chest. “I’m not wearing heels.” 

“I don’t think anyone will care.” He spoke into her hair. “And they won’t make you look any better or worse. They’re shoes.”

“Mm. If I buy a long dress do you suppose I can get away with wearing my sneakers?”

“Absolutely.” He laughed. 

“I’m not joking!”

“No, I know you’re not.” Ben smoothed his hands up and down her back, raising goosebumps in their wake. “You’re cold-come on, we should get you some pajamas.” 

“Or. Counterpoint.” She surged up on her toes and crashed her lips inelegantly against his own, and fisted her hands in his T-shirt to drag it up his solid torso. She broke the kiss when he finished the job for her and flung his shirt to the floor and made quick work of the clasp of her maternity bra that had gotten tangled as she’d tried to fit into her dress. 

“Warmer?” He asked with a smile as she stepped out of the last of her clothes. 

“Yes. But I think I could be warmer.” She grinned, stepping backwards to pull him into their bedroom.   
…..  
“I feel so kriffing fancy!” Kaydel laughed as she twirled around in a silvery dress that draped from her curves like water. 

“You look hot- Poe’s going to try to get you to blow him in the bathroom again.” Rose laughed as she slid a pin into Rey’s hair, effectively securing it in an elegant pile of curls atop her head. Tiny pearl pins accented it, and a single pearl on a gold chain, another of Leia’s gifted heirlooms, hung between her collar bones. Her shoulders were bare, and the red velvet clung to her every curve, but it was utterly stretchy and comfortable. Rey was incredibly grateful to Jannah, who had been able to refer her to the best place to buy maternity gowns. This one had been the most comfortable, and certainly the most Christmas appropriate. Kaydel he lightly dusted her shoulders with a glimmering golden powder, barely visible unless she caught the light, and her lips were painted a smooth crimson red. 

“If he’s good, he won’t have to ask.” Kaydel winked, dropping her lipstick in her clutch. “You done there Ro? I need to fix your eyeliner.” 

“Yes- but look at her hair! It’s my masterpiece!” 

“Please, no ones going to want to talk about her hair- look how she fits into that dress!” Kaydel beamed. 

“It’s not too much, is it?” Rey asked nervously as she smoothed her hands over her belly. “I don’t look too...fat? I feel like a giant red blimp- I should’ve gone with the black one, I wouldn’t have looked so-“

“So gorgeous?!” Rose insisted. “You should not have gone with the black one- you look so sexy- I’m glad Ben couldn’t go shopping with you, I can’t wait to see his face when he sees you in this.” Rose helped her to stand up and turned her to face the mirror. 

“Seriously Rey, you look amazing. Anyone who would dare say otherwise is just kriffing jealous, okay?” Kaydel growled as she motioned for Rose to sit. 

“This is just the first event where people are going to see Ben and I together- this is the day that people are going to realize Ben and I are together! And I just want to look as nice as possible.” Rey explained anxiously. 

“You look more than “nice” Rey! You look like a Christmas goddess or something. And Maker, I wish I had tits like that!” Kaydel sighed. 

“Just get knocked up. Instant tits.” Rose grinned. 

“Not until after the wedding. I want to be able to get trashed at my bachelorette party, and I expect to get at least a little tipsy at the wedding.” Kaydel smiled. “But Poe and I have decided that after the wedding we are just going to stop not trying.”

“Which means what, exactly?” Rose asked.

“Oh, just that we do away with our various BC methods, continue to have as much sex as we usually do and see what happens.” Kaydel shrugged. “After all, Poe’s running out of time to be a young hot dad.”

“What did Poe say when you told him that?” Rose snorted.

“He took offense at first, but I assured him he’d always be a dilf.” Kaydel waved her brow suggestively. “This dress is so cute on you- honestly I could never pull off pink and tuelle, but you look gorgeous!”

“Honestly I wouldn’t have even tried it on, but it was on sale and I can’t resist a good deal!” Rose shrugged with a little smile. “Glad I did though. Some floor length dresses make me look so short and awkward- this one though, this one makes me look like I’m floating!”

“Oh please you never look awkward!” Rey scoffed. 

“Flattery will get you everywhere!” Rose winked when Kaydel moved the eyeliner away from her face. “Come on, we’d better get downstairs before the boys get absolutely wasted.”

“Before Poe gets absolutely wasted.” Rey corrected with a smile. “Ben’s still not drinking out of solidarity, and Finn- I don’t understand how he does it, but he always maintains such a clear head when he drinks.”

“It’s infuriating, but also extremely handy. We’re never both so wasted we can’t figure out where we live. It’s nice.” Rose grinned. 

“Well, Poe gets absolutely trashed after two drinks if h hasn’t eaten anything, and he hasn’t eaten anything today, so we’d better actually get to the event so Poe can get some appetizers and ridiculously expensive dinners in.” Kaydel smiled fondly. They left the room together, and made their way towards the sounds of the boys voices. As soon as Kaydel rounded the corner Poe let out a loud howl of approval.

“Holy shit- look at you- can you guys see her? This gorgeous creature is going to marry me!” Poe announced in delight as he gripped her hips and kissed her. 

“Don’t ruin my makeup you brute!” Kaydel laughed. “Kriff, I love it when you get all dressed up. You’re like a sexy, tan, more handsome James Bond.”

“Maker I love this woman!” Poe laughed. Rose and Rey burst into a fit of laughter, drawing themselves to the others attention. 

“Rose, you look…” Finn smiled as Rose crossed over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. She whispered something in his ear that made him flush, but Rey’s attention was fully grasped by Ben as he returned from the kitchen. He stopped short as he saw her, his dark eyes fathomless as they traced over her form, drinking in every inch. Poe made a comment under his breath about sexual tension, but she paid him no mind as she observed Ben in turn. He was dressed in a navy velvet tuxedo that fit him like a glove- impeccably tailored, and yet so tight she couldn’t fully comprehend how the buttons on his shirt were actually staying put. 

“Okay- limos here you guys!” Rose grinned as she looked out the window. 

“Having rich friends is the best!” Poe announced, pumping a fist in the air. 

“You guys go ahead. I still have to get shoes on.” Rey waved them away. 

“You need any help?” Rose asked.

“I’ll help her. You guys go ahead. I did pay for the mini bar. Maybe make sure Poe grabs a snack or something. He’s on his way to dangerously drunk, and I can’t have him spontaneously stripping at my mother’s campaign fundraiser.”

“I would give all of the tips to her as a donation!” Poe said defensively.

“Right. Come on babe, let’s get you some snacks in the limo.” Kaydel beamed as she grabbed her coat. “In the limo. Poe is right. Having rich friends is awesome!”

“What shoes do you want?” Ben asked lowly, his husky voice crackling with something. 

“Oh- I left them in our room. They’re golden flats. Should be next to the bed.” Ben kissed her forehead as he passed her, his fingers lingering on her throat as he did so. 

“Okay; we’ll see you guys in the limo- if you have a quickie we are going to be late though!” Rose called from the open front door. Rey felt her face flush as red as her dress as the rest of their party shut the door behind them. Ben returned with shoes in hand, and she reached for them but he shook his head. 

“Allow me.” He grinned as he knelt at her feet. He tugged the hem of her dress up higher than strictly necessary to help her into her shoes, but when his mouth pressed to the curve of her knee, how could she complain? “You look...I don’t know if there are words in the English language to properly capture how absolutely perfect you look. How beautiful. How sexy. How much I’d like to forget any time restraints and kiss you until that pretty red lipstick is smeared everywhere.”

“I look like Santa Claus or something- all giant and dressed in red velvet.” She protested haltingly. 

“You look like the embodiment of life- this perfect, luminous, brilliant being.” He assured her, slipping her shoe onto her foot. 

“If you keep thinking I’m perfect, I’m bound to disappoint you.” Rey huffed. 

“Oh, I’m under no illusion that you’re actually perfect.” He smiled up at her, caressing her calf softly as he picked up her second shoe. “You leave hair ties literally everywhere, and you kick off socks under the blankets every night. You put far too much sugar and milk in your tea. You listen to far too much Abba.”

“Don’t knock Abba!” 

“You can’t roll your tongue, you don’t like whiskey.” Ben shrugged. “See, I can see your flaws, but they don’t matter to me.”

“Fair enough.” Rey smiled at him. He rose up and gently cupped her cheek in his hand.

“Honestly, Rey, you are exquisite. This dress… it looks like it was made for you.” He kissed her softly, and then went to grab her coat from the rack. 

“Well, this is my first public appearance as a real Solo. I thought I could at least try to look presentable.” She slid her arms into the sleeves of her white jacket and let him pull it closed to button it. 

“You look far better than presentable, Sweetheart. The press will have an absolute field day when they realize you’re my wife.” He kissed her nose. “And they’ll realize it quickly enough. I don’t think I can keep my hands off of you.” 

“Is that a promise?” She asked, her voice husky with want. 

“Absolutely.”  
….  
They managed to get to the hotel ballroom without any disasters, and even got some food into Poe, along with a glass of champagne that had negated any good the food had done their buzzed friend. There were press lingering by the door, no doubt waiting for Leia’s arrival, and also to see which celebrities were going to support Leia in the upcoming election. 

“Well it’s no red carpet, but it’ll do.” Poe sighed dramatically as he kissed Kaydel’s hand. The door opened and Poe slid out, helped his fiancee, and then struck a pose for the photographers, who didn’t have any idea who he was, but thought it was better to have the photos on the off chance he turned out to be someone important. Rose and Finn were much more subtle about the whole thing, smiling and waving as they emerged

“Are you ready sweetheart?” Ben whispered, kissing her neck once. 

“Let’s go tell them who you’re really in love with.” Rey smiled. “And also, mostly, about why your mother is the best candidate, we should talk about that probably.” 

“Oh, yeah, that’s a good call.” He winked. She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently as he tensed beneath her fingertips. He let out a shaky exhale and smiled at her before he slid down the seat and climbed out of the limo. The flashes that went off were bright enough to shine through tinted windows like morning sun through gossamer curtains. People were shouting his name, and he waved at them simply before he turned back and extended a hand towards her. She took a deep breath of her own and smoothed her hands over her stomach for strength. She slid down the seat and slipped her hand into Ben’s- she could pick out individual voices from the crowd- they hadn’t seen her face yet; but who else could be climbing out of the limo but Bazine Netal, and did that mean the sexy singer was throwing her influence behind Senator Leia Organa? 

A shocked hush fell over the street as she finally came into full view- she caught a few slack jawed stares, and looks of utter shock as Ben tucked an arm around her thickened waist and raised his hand to give a small wave again. She followed his lead and put on her nicest smile as the flashes resumed, and the voices grew louder than ever.

“Who is she?!”

“That’s not Bazine!”

Suddenly Everyone who’d come with them in their limo was exceedingly popular- Poe was eating up all of the attention, and Finn tried to avoid answering questions by lingering in his shadow. But they’d already made a game plan- simple, honest answers, no details- and they trusted their friends completely. 

“Mr. Solo! Who is this?!” A man with a microphone And a camera following him asked- he appeared to be a member of a local news team. Rey looked up at Ben with a small smile then looked at the man who’d just spoken. 

“Rey Solo, pleased to meet you.” She said simply. The man’s jaw dropped before he could clear his throat and shake off his surprise. His next questions were careful and calculating. 

“What a shock- we weren’t aware that Senator Organa had any other children?”

“Does she look like she’s my sister?” Ben snorted a bit inelegantly.

“Cousin?” The same reporter asked. Ben let out another snort, and gently squeezed Rey’s hip. 

“Maker I hope not.” He said dryly. She gently swatted his arm and laughed. He put a hand on her belly and grinned. “That would make this a bit problematic.” 

“What this big oaf means to say is that we’re certainly not blood related. I’m here because Leia Organa is my mother-in-law, and I personally believe she is the best hope this country has for a beautiful future.” Rey replied elegantly. She stepped away from Ben just slightly, and twined their fingers together as she waved with a free hand. Ben stepped close behind her and whispered almost inaudible in her ear.

“That was kriffing brilliant!” She tipped her face up towards him and accepted a sweet kiss. The flashes from the cameras were insanely bright. 

“A ring! They’re both wearing wedding rings!” 

“Hold on- She’s the girl! The one from the fuzzy pictures!” 

“But Bazine said they were practically siblings!” 

“Yes, well, Miss Netal said a lot of things didn’t she?” Rey asked, tipping her head to the side as she locked eyes with the reporter who’d just spoken. “But you know what they say, Seeing is believing. Think on who you’ve actually seen Ben with since the article came out, hm?” 

“Do you have a comment, Mr. Solo?” The reporter asked, looking between them rapidly. 

“Only that my wife and I are both here to support my mother- She is by far the best qualified candidate for the whitehouse we’ve seen in years. She’s got a well thought out plan for healthcare-”

“DId you lie to Bazine Netal?” A voice cried. 

“No.” Ben said firmly. 

“Then who-“

“Ben- Rey, come on!” Han popped his head out of the door. 

“If you’ll excuse us, I believe we’re being summoned.” Ben said with far more grace than Rey felt capable of at the moment. They called out after them, but Ben just waved them off and laid a hand on Rey’s lower back as they headed into the hotel. 

“Hey kids- sorry- we should’ve probably sent you around to the back entrance.” Han sighed. “The crowd’s really been growing out there- dont know if they realized yet that your mother already showed up or not- or if they were hoping you’d show up.”

“Don’t worry about it, I loved it!” Poe grinned, slapping Han on the shoulder. “But you were probably more worried about Ben.” 

“I can’t say they were waiting for Ben specifically, but they were certainly excited when he climbed out of the limo.” Rey shrugged. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come- I don’t want to take the attention away from mom.” Ben frowned.

“Don’t be an idiot, son. You’re a part of this family, your mother wants you here, we all want you here.” Han said firmly. 

“But now that they know I’m here-“

“We’ll have your mother leave through the front and get you and Rey out through the kitchens. No paparazzi.” Han shrugged. “No excuses kid.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ben held up his hands in surrender. “I just don’t want mom to-“

“Mom is happy that you’re here.” Leia emerged from the hotel ballroom with all of the bearing of a queen. She was positively stunning in her silver gray gown, her hair elegantly braided around her head like a halo. She grabbed Ben’s hands and pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “She doesn’t need all of the attention all of the time you know.” 

“Mother. You’re literally campaigning for the highest office in the nation. You don’t need your punk ass son ruining it for you.” Ben said, half teasing. 

“Ah, so you saw the gossip column yesterday.” Leia sighed. 

“I did. How foolish of them, I’m a metal artist, not punk.” Ben said dryly. 

“They also said you were probably scrawny under all of your layers, but I’ve seen you shirtless and you’ve got a kriffing eight pack.” Kaydel huffed. “So it was obviously gossip fostered by some jealous dude bro. Don’t let it get to you.”

“How do you know about his eight pack?” Poe asked.

“Babe, we all went to the beach together last summer. I belive you challenged Ben to a swim race and then cancelled when he took his shirt off because “his biceps were as big as your head and you could not deal”?” 

“Oh- right.” Poe smiled sheepishly. Kaydel rolled her eyes fondly and kissed Poe’s cheek. 

“Are Gwen and Armitage not coming?” Leia asked.

“They are. But they thought it’d be best if they came separately. They can still be incognito for now, and I’d hate to take that away from them.” Ben shrugged. “But you know, Phas cuts quite a figure even without all the chrome. Seeing the three of us together is a risk now- I don’t want them dragged into all of the bullshit first order and the press are putting me through.” 

“Fair enough. I’ll be glad to see them.” Leia grinned.

“I thought the point of these events was to raise money and prestige for the campaign, not fill it with riffraff.” Poe winked as he too embraced Leia. 

“Ah, but without a few scoundrels, these things are never any fun.” Leia patted his cheek in a maternal way. “And just look at you Rey. This dress really suits you.” 

“Oh, no. You look magnificent though.” Rey grinned, waving off the compliment. “Luna is kicking a lot right now- want to feel?” She took Leia’s hand and guided it to the spot where Luna seemed intent on leaving her with a bruise. 

“Someone’s up past their bedtime, hm?” Leia smiled giddily. “Not long now, is it?” 

“Well, about six weeks.” Ben said, excitement plain in his voice. 

“Han? Do you want to feel?” Rey asked, and the older man shrugged indifferently, though his eyes gleamed as he came over and let Rey place his hand just next to Leia’s. 

“She’s strong, isn’t she? Just like her mother.” Han winked. “And like her grandmother too.”

“Oh Han, stop that!” Leia swatted at him affectionately, but tilted up her face to kiss him briefly. Rey smiled at them fondly; even though there were those who would say the two of them were past their prime, Han and Leia really did still make a striking couple. A beautiful  
Couple. And the way they looked at eachother with so much love in their eyes even after they’d been together more than thirty years… that was exactly the sort of love Rey wanted. It was exactly what she’d found with Ben. “Now, everything is just about set inside. Your job tonight kids is just to have fun, alright?”

“And if you happen to talk Leia and her policies up…” Han gave a subtle thumbs up. 

“Senator Organa?! Senator Organa? My goodness, where have you been?!” A fussy man in an expensive suit and gold tie fretted as he approached them. 

“Ah, C three p o.” Ben whispered, leaning his head down so his lips were nearly pressed to her ear. She couldn’t stifle the small giggle, but Leia’s campaign manager didn’t seem to notice as he started listing things off to Leia. He lead her back towards the ballroom, and she grabbed Han, practically dragging him with her. He glanced over his shoulder with an exaggerated eye roll, and a wink at his son. “Poor dad, he’ll never escape cantankerous Cliff.”

“I can’t believe c three p o is still your moms campaign manager- he ran her first campaign when Ben and I were just kids!” Poe laughed. “He got So mad when we’d call him that- which obviously just made us do it more because we were obnoxious ten year olds.”

“He does seem...uptight.” Rose observed.

“Oh he is. But the man is a political genius- he always seems to know how to speak to every group of voters in a way that makes mom’s platform sound favorable to them.” Ben smiled. “Of course, mom’s platforms are always established with what’s best for everyone in mind. If Three PO is a political genius, mom is too.”

“You’ll find no arguments here!” Rose grinned. “I think it’s about time we had a badass lady President.” 

“Amen!” Poe called, probably a bit too loudly. 

“Okay big guy, let’s head on in so you can Start getting some appetizers in you, alright?” Kaydel patted his chest, and he offered her his arm grandly. She made a big show of taking his hand, like some sort of couple in a cartoon fairytale, and they were off to the ballroom. Rose and Finn followed after them, and Rose glanced over her shoulder at them. 

“You guys coming with?”

“In just a minute- I should pee now, before everything really starts. Of course, I’ll probably still have to pee again in like an hour, but…” Rey shrugged. “Do you know where the bathroom is?”

“Yeah, it’s right over there. I’ll walk you.” Ben took her hand. 

“I could probably make it by myself, you know?” Rey grinned , twining her fingers through his. 

“I know. But all the press that were outside made me uneasy. Mom’s security team will do their best to keep them on the outside, but I don’t want them ambushing you somehow.” Ben explained softly. “And yes, I know you can handle yourself with the press, and you can kick anyone’s ass when you need to, but right now, I don’t know, I feel like I need to make sure you’re okay. You and Luna both. Unless I’m making you uncomfortable- it’s not that I don’t think you’re capable-“

“Hey, Ben.” She pressed her fingers to his lips. “You can stop ranting, my love. I understand. I’m okay with it. But also, the longer we stand here, the more I have to pee, so...” 

“Right, yes, let’s go.” She took care of her business quickly in the nicest public restroom and rejoined him in the hallway. 

“No tyrannical pirates come to capture your bride?” She asked dryly. He grabbed her freshly washed hands and brought them to his lips to kiss them. He lingered on her rings, and a thrill ran down her spine as his dark eyes met hers. 

“One can never be too careful when one’s bride looks like you.” He winked. “You really do look beautiful tonight, sweetheart. Every night, but this dress...Kriff, it suits you.”

“You’re the one who looks incredible.” She insisted. “Maker, what did you do, paint it on?” 

“It is a little snugger in the shoulders than I’d like.” He smirked, finally lowering her hands and pulling her along towards the ballroom. 

“Well you look amazing. If I’m not too tired after this, I’m very excited to peel you out of it.” She grinned, delighting in the pink blush she saw on his ears peeking through his hair. “You’re really a very beautiful man, you know.”

“If I didn’t know better I’d ask if you were pregaming with Poe.” Ben laughed lowly. They came to the door of the ballroom, and Ben hesitated a moment. “Are you ready for this?”

“I mean, I’ve never been to a political fundraiser before. But with you at my side, I think I’ll be fine.” She ran her hand gently over his bicep, enjoying the velvet texture of his tuxedo. “Goodness, your mother really goes all out doesnt she?”

“Did you expect anything less?” Ben asked as they took in the splendor of the room. Gold cloth hung from the ceiling, billowing around twinkling lights and the chandeliers. The tables were elaborately decorated with tall vases or branches and elegant ornaments at each place setting told who was to sit where. “Imagine what she would’ve done if we’d given her completely free run of our wedding.”

“Hey, she did a terrific job on our little wedding! But, Yes, I see your point.” Rey smiled at a passing photographer- Leia's official hired photographer who Rey had seen at a few of the smaller events Leia had attended. 

“Oh, hey there Snap.” Ben smiled.

“Hey, Ben, been a long time!” Snap said, reaching out to shake Ben’s hand. Ben shook his hand, and then wrapped an arm around Rey’s back, resting his hand gently on the side of her belly. The photographer glanced between them with curious, kind eyes. “I’ve seen you out and about with Senator Organa, but I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced?”

“Snap, this is wife, Rey Solo, Rey, this is Snap Wexley, my mother’s official photographer for all events big and small for the last decade or so.” Ben introduced them briefly. Rey shook Snaps hand. 

“I’d heard you got married- or well, I assumed. Your mother had me scheduled to photograph a big wedding, but that got canceled, so she asked if I was available for a small ceremony, but I had another job that day, unfortunately.” Snap sighed. “I’ve got to say, I’m a little surprised that it’s not- well- never mind what I think. Congratulations both of you! Do you mind if I take a picture? I’m supposed to get shots of anyone important who comes to support the Senator, and as her son and a world renowned musician, and his wife, you definitely qualify as important.” 

“Sure.” Ben said, only a little Reluctantly. Rey leaned into him a little and laid a hand on his chest as she put on her most dazzling smile for the photographer. 

“That looks great- thanks guys! Enjoy the gala, and again, congratulations!” Snap said as he hurried off to find his next subject. 

“You wanna sit down? My feet are already tired, and I’d like to be able to dance with you after dinner.” Rey smiled up at her husband. He kissed her forehead softly, his lips lingering against her skin.

“Of course sweetheart. We’re at table one, with mom and dad.” Ben said, guiding her gently through the tables and the people who were starting to gather. People glanced at them as they passed, and then turned back for a second look- it wasn’t surprising, really. Ben Solo had only recently started making public appearances with his mother and father again, after over a decade of absence from family photos and no explanations- not to mention he was actually Kylo kriffing Ren- and on his arm was a heavily pregnant woman who wasn’t Bazine Natal? He pulled out her chair for her and she sat in it heavily.

“Not very graceful huh?” She sighed. He sat in his chair next to hers, and put a hand on the back of her neck, rubbing it gently.

“I don’t care about graceful. I’m big and clunky and awkward.” He shrugged. 

“Champagne?” A waiter asked, passing with a tray. His eyes grew wide as he looked at Rey. “Or perhaps I could bring you something else, ma’am?”

“Sparkling water, for both of us, thank you.” Rey said kindly. 

“Right away.” He said, hurrying away. 

“Gosh, there are quite a lot of people here huh?” Rey observed as even more people filed in through the door in resplendent dress. 

“And there will be more people. Mom said they sold out.” Ben said, not so much as looking at the people. “Maker Im uneasy.” 

“Hey. Don’t worry about a thing. I’m here with you.” She put her hand on his knee. “People will have a few drinks, they’ll listen to your mom speak, they’ll dance, people will barely pay you any attention. And if they do, we can just...start speaking with fake accents and pretend we’re weird distant relations.” 

“Mph.” Ben let out a strangled little chuckle. “If only the scar wasn’t so recognizable.” 

“You’re right. That’s the only reason that plan will never work.” Rey smiled wryly. 

“At least I’ve got you by my side now. You make everything more bearable.” He picked up her hand from his knee, and brought it to his lips. The hand still on the back of her neck ran the length of the gold chain to her collar bone, and then he delicately picked up the single pearl pendant. “Is this one of my mother’s pieces?” 

“It is. We’ve been married less than a month but she’s constantly insisting that I have access to any and all family heirlooms.” Rey smiled. “I figured if I didn’t wear one to her own gala, I was asking for trouble.” 

“Well, it suits you.” Ben nodded haha approval. “Although I can’t think of any look that wouldn’t suit you.” 

“Blue mow hawk?” 

“I think you could probably pull that off.” 

“Full facial tattoo?” 

“Mm. Iffy, but I think you’d still be radiant.” He bent in and kissed her softly. “What would the facial tattoo say?” 

“Hm. Property of Ben Solo, probably.” Ben let out a loud guffaw that drew too much attention to them, but he didn’t seem to notice as he watched her face transform into that sweet nose crinkling grin. “Don’t laugh, I’d make you get a matching one that said Property of Rey Solo.” 

“Should’ve mentioned that before, we could’ve saved a bundle on wedding rings.” Ben said, arching a brow at her. 

“Ah, hindsight is twenty twenty.” Rey snapped her fingers. 

“We really blew it.” He nodded solemnly. “Would’ve really upped my tough guy image.” 

“Mmm, I’d have been infinitely more attracted to you.” 

“A real shame.” Ben smirked. The waiter returned with two glasses of sparkling water, which Ben took with a nod of thanks, and then handed one to Rey. 

“You know, I really wouldn’t mind if you had some champagne or something tonight.” Rey insisted- she watched the line of his throat, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he sipped the water, and suddenly her own throat felt quite dry. 

“I don’t particularly care for champagne anyways. Too sweet.” Ben shrugged, equally enamored as she licked a drop of sparkling water from her crimson lips. A flash from a photographer broke the spell they seemed to be under, and Ben’s jaw tensed. 

“There’s a fully stocked bar. I’m sure they’ve got the whiskey you and your father prefer- your mother did arrange all this.” Rey offered. 

“I don’t need a drink, Rey.”

“You just… you’re very tense tonight. I want you to relax.” 

“You’ve done an excellent job distracting me, sweetheart.” He assured her. 

“Then why are your shoulders still so stiff?” She asked skeptically. 

“It’s fine, Rey.” She watched as his hand tightened around his glass so hard his knuckles turned white. Photographers always were a trigger for him- his childhood of being in the spotlight with his famous family had made him jumpy, and anxious, and it had only gotten worse since the truth about his identity came out and more paparazzi than ever seemed to be after him. Out of the corner of her eye Rey saw Kaydel and Poe dancing on a mostly empty dance floor, grinning and laughing, so carefree. But dancing wouldn’t help Ben loosen up- it would only serve to draw more attention to him. Suddenly, Rey remembered the lipstick Kay had tucked into her purse for touch ups, and she felt heat creeping up her neck.

“Do you know if there’s a single bathroom anywhere around here?” She asked too casually, sipping a bit more of her water. 

“Just down the hall from the one you used- would you have rather used that one?” Ben asked, his brow furrowing. 

“Kaydel said this lipstick is magic. Doesn’t come off no matter what you do while you’re wearing it.” Rey said evenly before pressing her lips together. “Maybe you and I should go put that statement to the test.”

“What?” Ben asked, his voice low. 

“You’ll have to help me with the getting on my knees part, I’m afraid. I’m not so mobile these days.” She winked. 

“Are you kriffing serious right now?”

“As the plague, darling.” Rey gave him a wry smile. “Besides, I couldn’t keep my end of the bet and give you head backstage at one of your concerts, a luxury hotel bathroom across from a gala seems the next best thing- unless you don’t want that?”

“Of course I kriffing want that- but-“

“Shh. No need to discuss it further than. Come on, help me up.” Rey grinned as Ben rose from his chair a bit too quickly and offered her his hand. 

“Everything I said about you not being absolutely perfect earlier, I take it back.” He chuckled, and she blushed as she took his hand so he could pull her up. 

“Alright. As discreet an exit as possible I suppose.” Rey whispered, her blood on fire with the thought of what was to come. He nodded seriously and put a massive hand on the small of her back, the heat of it searing through the velvet of her dress. They’d made it casually halfway through the ballroom before the inevitable happened, and Rose came up to grip Rey’s forearm like a vice. 

“Guys.” She hissed. 

“Rose, we were actually-“

“Guys. She’s here, she’s just outside of the hotel talking to the press, she’s kriffing here!” Rose hissed. Finn had come up behind her, an anxious look in his eyes, and Poe and Kaydel were lingering by the door, both looking far more somber than they had last time Rey had seen them. Her heart dropped, and the delicious heat that had been running through her blood seconds before turned to ice. 

“Who’s here?” Ben demanded lowly, though from the way him the hand on her back had tensed, gripping at the fabric tightly, she assumed that he too knew exactly who they were talking about. 

“Bazine!” Rose nearly spat the name like it was the dirtiest oath she could utter. 

“What’s she doing here?” Rey asked, looking wide eyed at Ben. 

“Being a kriffing nuisance, for starters.” He uttered through gritted teeth. 

“There’s more press than before outside too, so someone tipped them off.” Finn added. 

“Ben, Rey, we had no idea she was coming, she wasn’t on the list of ticket buyers or attendees!” Leia said as she approached quickly. 

“What’s our move here, what do we do?” Rey asked. 

“We have to stay.” Ben said wearily. “We have to stay, and stand our ground. If we get caught running away because of her it looks like we did something wrong. It looks like I was cheating on her.”

“But if we stay isn’t she likely to cause some sort of commotion?” Rey glanced anxiously at Leia. 

“She’s already causing a commotion outside.” Han grumbled as he appeared next to his wife. “It’s your call, Kid.” 

“We stay as long as we were planning on staying anyways.” Ben said decisively. “If she does anything to cause a scene, make sure mom’s official photographer catches it. If any of you have your cell on you, record it. She can’t be allowed to corner Rey, especially not outside of the ballroom.” 

“Got it.” Rose nodded. 

“We could have security throw her out.” Leia offered. 

“For what? So she can act like a woman scorned and garner pity from the press?” Ben laughed dryly. 

“I don’t need a reason, it’s my kriffing gala!” Leia huffed. “But if you don’t 

“Mom; I’m so sorry. Looks like I’ve ruined another one of your events.” Ben looked at the floor, but Leia quickly grabbed his chin and made him meet her eyes. 

“You did not ruin anything Ben.” She insisted. “You are my son, and you are the one who has every right to be here, not her.” 

“Thanks mom.” 

“Now.” Leia nodded and straightened herself up. For a woman who stood shorter than most of them, she had more presence than anyone. “A lifetime in the spotlight has taught me that the best revenge you can get on someone who wishes you Ill is to show them that you’re having a magnificent life in spite of their best efforts, so, kids, get out there, stick together, and have a good time.” 

“Kaydel and Poe will be glad to hear that.” Finn huffed with a little smile. 

“Don’t let Kaydel get near that woman if she’s had a   
couple drinks, you know how fighty she gets!” Rey pointed out.

“If we’re lucky, no one has to get near that woman.” Han grumbled. He clapped his son on the back, and gave him a tight lipped smile. “Remember Uncle Chewie is here too- he’s great at keeping people apart if he needs to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind dad.” 

“Alright. We’ve got to go rub elbows with some more people. If you need anything-“

“I know, mom. Go on, you’ve got votes to win.” Ben smiled, and bent down to allow his mother to kiss him on the cheek. Han and Leia were off, and Rey wrapped her arm around Ben’s back, gently squeezing his waist. Their eyes met, and she noted that his chocolate eyes were tired- the spark of arousal and excitement she had lit in them just minutes ago had been smothered by the news. 

“Guess I still owe you one then.” She whispered. His hand smoothed up and down her back gently.

“...I know it may not be the time Rey, but they do have mashed potatoes in martini glasses over there.” Rose offered. 

“Oh my- Ben, I’ve never loved your mother more!” Rey smiled, and he smiled back at her, a weak sort of smile that didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. “What do you say we get Poe over here and start a competition to see who can eat the most appetizers?” 

“Okay, but Poe’s never going to be able to keep up with you, Rey, you’re eating for two!” Rose laughed. 

“But maker knows he’ll try his best, and that’s half the fun!” Rey waggled her brow. “Um. Why don’t you guys go fill those two in. I think we need a minute here.” 

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Finn nodded. Rose threaded her arm through his as they headed over towards where Poe and Kaydel lingered at the entrance. A slow song started playing, and Rey tugged gently at Ben’s hand.

“Dance with me, big guy?” Rey asked. 

“Alright.” He nodded, and she led him through the tables and the people to the dance floor where Han and Leia were already sharing their first dance of the evening. She wasn’t used to dancing properly, and not being able to see her feet didn’t help with that, but Ben was a wonderful leader. Dancing with him was like anything else she did with him- easy as breathing. “Are you okay?”

“And to think I stole this dance with you to ask if you were okay.” She laughed quietly. He smiled genuinely for just a moment, and then his face was serious again. 

“I should have asked if you wanted to leave, I shouldn’t have made that choice for you.” 

“You made the choice for us, because you’re the one who understands the politics and inner workings of things like this. You considered it from every angle in a matter of seconds, and I put my trust in you.” She insisted, giving the hand that was gently cradling hers a small squeeze. “And I think your mom is right. The best way to fight back now is just to show all of those assholes from first order that we’re not just okay. We’re brilliant.” He ducked his head down to kiss her- it lasted too long to be completely appropriate for a very public dance floor, open mouthed and delicious, but neither of them cared. Upon breaking he stared at her, his eyes soft in that way that he reserved for her.

“I’ll never understand what I did to deserve you.” 

“Maker, Ben, do I need to make you a list? Because I definitely can.” She insisted. “I mean, for starters you- ow!”

“Are you okay?” He asked in alarm, their feet stopping abruptly. 

“Fine- I’m fine! Someone was just...trying to dance along and landed a fairly solid kick on my ribs.” She hissed, rubbing at the spot. “Really I think it surprised me more than it hurt- she’s been so mellow the last half hour I thought she was sleeping.” 

“Didn’t want to miss all the excitement I supposed.” He smiled. “Come on, let’s get back to our table, and I’ll get you some of those potatoes.” 

“I can already tell you I’m going to want more than one helping.” She said ruefully. 

“Anything for the mother of my child.” His hand moved from the small of her back to her stomach, which was just visibly wriggling as Luna decided to do a somersault in there. He had the same look of wonder on his face now that he’d had the first time he’d felt their daughter move. Though he’d felt it countless times since then, the way his mouth parted a little in awe, and his eyes filled with reverence was exactly the same, and it always took Rey’s breath away because Kriff, he was so damn beautiful! The song had ended moments ago, and they were drawing far too much attention to themselves, but Rey couldn’t bring herself to care when her husband was looking at her like that. After a moment he cleared his throat, and grabbed her hand, keeping her close to his side as he brought her swiftly back to the table and helped her lower herself into a chair. 

“Shes very strong. Running out of room too I suppose. I’m not sure how much more my uterus can actually expand.” Rey sighed, running her hands over her belly, loving the cool, smooth feel of the velvet beneath her fingertips. 

“Probably has long legs. Yours go on for miles.” He grinned, his eyes flitting the length of her body again. 

“If mine go on for miles how long do you suppose yours go on for?” She put a hand on his knee and ran it the length of his thigh. 

“Careful there, little troublemaker.” He growled, stopping her hand with his. 

“Just admiring my husband’s body. Is that so wrong?” She pouted. 

“Not later tonight.” He winked, and a little glimmer of that fire was back again. 

“Hey guys! Figured you’d want some of these!” Kaydel announced cheerfully as she set two glasses of mashed potatoes in front of Rey. “I also figured Ben would give his portion to Rey when he saw how much she enjoyed hers, so I just saved everyone the trouble and put it there to begin with.” 

“Ah, how well you know us. Thank you, Kaydel.” 

“No sweat Solo.” Kaydel shrugged. “Just, FYI, the she devil is in the building.” 

“Wonderful.” Rey grimaced around a perfect mouthful of potatoes. 

“I can’t believe she’s allowed out in a dress like she’s wearing without being arrested for indecent exposure, honestly.” Kaydel crossed her arms. “I mean, you can literally see her nipples!” 

“Is the Kaydel “don’t tell me what to wear” Connix trying to police another woman’s fashion choices?” Rey scoffed.

“Rey, there is a time and a place for a nip slip, and that is not a black tie gala!” Kaydel insisted. “Like, have a little class for kriff’s sake!” 

“Is it more or less scandalous than the time she performed in a completely sheer jumpsuit?” Rey asked. 

“Less, but only because it gets less sheer as it goes down. You can’t see her entire ass this time.” Kaydel rolled her eyes. “How did she even get a seat here anyways, Solo? Your mom not do any kind of screening?” 

“They must have used a fake name, or something. Though I’ve got to say I’m shocked they gave money to my mother’s campaign even with the opportunity to give me grief.” 

“And there she is.” Rey grumbled as the sexy singer came into her view. She was talking to a group of men and laughing flirtatiously, tipping her head back and flipping her Long black hair over her shoulder. “Does she have pierced nipples?”

“Yep.” Ben took a long drink of his water. 

“How do you know that?” Rey asked through her teeth. 

“I mean, Rey, it’s pretty obvious- I can see them from here and my vision is awful.” Kaydel offered. 

“It...may have been an anniversary gift. A long time ago.” He gritted out. An absurd sort of laugh tore itself from her throat and she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“You got her nipple piercings for your anniversary?” She asked, more befuddled than angry, though she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at all mad.

“I mean, I paid for them because it’s what she wanted. It’s not like It was my idea of romance.” Ben said defensively. 

“No. It wouldn’t be would it?” Rey bit back a smile- she knew full well what Ben’s idea of romance was, and even when he was at his lowest, she highly doubted he'd lost all of that romantic sentiment. 

“I’m going to go grab a drink. Solo? You want anything?” Kay asked. Ben pursed his lips for a moment and shook his head. 

“No, thank you, Kaydel, I’m good.” 

“Suit yourself.” Kay shrugged as she headed towards the bar, only to be dragged towards the dance floor halfway there by Poe. 

“Ah, I’m glad dancing Drunk Poe came out tonight instead of Stripping drunk Poe, though honestly sometimes one leads to the other, so I can’t rule out that he might start stripping at any moment.” Ben said with a tight lipped smile. 

“It’s really okay with me if you have a drink, you know?” Rey said softly, grabbing his hand.

“No. As a general rule I never drink if I feel like I need a drink.” He shook his head. “Addiction does run in the family, and I had some...dubious times, back when I was younger. It’s best just to play it safe.” 

“Well, I’m proud of you.” She kissed his cheek lingeringly. “And I’m extremely proud to be your wife.” 

“How are those potatoes?” He asked as she went back to eating them with vigor. She grabbed a spoonful and offered it to him. “Mm. Not bad.”

“Not as good as Maz’s but again, everything she does is unreal.” She scraped the first glass clean and moved to the second. “But I’m not complaining, I’m starving. Thank the maker this dress is stretchy, am I right?” 

“Thank the maker for this dress in general. Whatever you paid for it wasn’t enough.” He ran a knuckle up and down the length of her arm, and ducked down to kiss her bare shoulder. She closed her eyes and smiled fondly, and when she opened them again, she caught Bazine staring at them, her flawless face twisted in rage. 

“Ben?” She murmured, and he lifted his head lazily. 

“Hm?” She inclined her head to the side, gesturing as casually as she could, and he let out a long suffering sigh. “I almost forgot.” 

“How could you forget?” 

“I was distracted by the gold dust on your shoulders, the way it’s mingling with your freckles… it’s absolutely mesmerizing.” He blinked and was looking down at them again. 

“You’ll have to thank Kaydel for that. I thought the gold might’ve been too much.” 

“Believe me, it’s just enough.” He glanced at his watch. “Dinner should be served in about half an hour, mother will give a speech about half an hour after that, then we should be free to make our escape.”

“Wonderful- not that it’s not a lovely evening, but I believe someone promised I could do some appreciating when we got home.” She winked at him. “And we both know if it gets much past ten I’ll be too tired for anything.” 

“And that would be a damn shame.” His index finger traced the line of her throat tenderly. “A damn shame.” 

“I should probably use the bathroom again before your mother speaks, hm?” She sighed, catching his hand as it reached her collar bone. 

“Alright.” He rose from the table to help her back up again. “I’ll walk you.” She nodded, and laced their fingers together as they walked through the ballroom again, taking a wide berth around Bazine and the swarm of men she seemed to have attracted nearer the center of the room. 

“What was life like before my every decision was controlled by my bladder?” Rey’s attempted humor made his mouth turn up a bit in the corner at least. “Ah, simpler times. Not better times, but simpler for sure.” 

“Definitely not better times.” Ben’s smile had grown to both sides of his plush mouth. 

“Headed to the bathroom?” Rose asked as she caught up to them by the door. 

“Again, I’m afraid.” Rey sighed. 

“Well, I’ll go with.” Rose looped an arm through Rey’s. 

“Wow, I have a whole entourage to go to the bathroom now? Is this what fame feels like?” Rey bumped her hip against Rose’s. 

“I mean, we go to public bathrooms together all the time, Rey. It’s what friendship feels like.” Rose laughed. “Also, I may need help figuring out how to pee in this dress.”

“Ah, the charms of female friendship.” Rey grinned, and Ben huffed a little laugh of amusement. “Alright, we’ll be back whenever we figure out the dress situation.” 

“Take your time.” Ben chuckled, leaning against the wall. If her own sleek, one layer full length dress had been a hassle to pee in, Rose’s tulle monstrosity was nearly impossible to manage. It took an extra five minutes just to situate it correctly, while Rey laughed and called words of support from outside the stall. Eventually though they were washing their hands and getting ready to leave when They heard it.

“Look, Ben, I just want to kriffing talk to you!” Unmistakably Bazine’s voice sounded from just outside the bathroom door, and Rey started to barge out, but Rose caught her arm and put a finger to her lips as she pulled her phone out of her cleavage and opened a recording app.

“I’m not interested in talking, Bazine, I’ve made that very clear on numerous occasions. Please, for the love of the Maker, leave me alone!” Ben hissed- Rey wondered if the low tones of his voice would even be audible on Rose’s phone. She held it just at the place where the door would swing open, one finger still pressed to her lips. While Rey understood where she was coming from, it tore at her not to rush out to Ben’s side and stand with him right now. 

“You’re not serious, Ben!! You can’t possibly be serious about any of this!” Bazine laughed flirtatiously, and Rey felt her blood boil. 

“I’m married, Bazine, it’s pretty kriffing serious.” He scoffed. 

“So it’s true- you got married to that- that-“

“I’d be very careful about your next words.” He growled. 

“Was that a threat?” She sounded happy- smug. 

“No. I’m not doing this, Bazine. I don’t know why you’re here-“

“I’m here because you’ve lost sight of who you are! Of what you wanted! This- this dutiful son, pussy whipped husband, pathetic weakling isn’t who you are!” Bazine hissed. “So what’s really happening? You knocked up some street trash and your mother insisted you marry her to avoid another scandal? What does she have on you? Another incident with spice?” 

“What’s really happening?” Ben asked incredulously. “What’s happening is that I’ve realized who I really am. What I really want out of life. Those things I thought I cared about when I was younger, when we were together, They don’t mean anything. Money. Fame. Even kriffing music doesn’t mean anything to me if I don’t have her. Because she is...my wife is everything to me. I don’t know why you can’t accept that-“

“Because you never wanted it! Marriage, babies, none of it! And if you did you would have wanted it with me! Not with that… that-“ Rey growled as she gently pushed Rose aside and opened the door. Ben looked at her with wide eyes, and Bazine stared at her as if she wished she’d burst into flame. 

“I feel like it goes without saying that decent people don’t corner married men in hotel hallways.” Rey said as she slipped an arm around Ben’s waist. In mere seconds his arm was around her, his thumb tracing soft, thoughtless patterns on her arm. 

“Decent people don’t eavesdrop on private conversations either.” Bazine said with a too sweet smile. “And what’s a word or two between lovers?”

“Ex. Lovers.” Rey said firmly. “And I believe my husband asked you to leave him alone.” 

“You know, there was a time he would’ve made me leave. He could always be...very compelling when he wanted to. Especially in the bedroom. He could always make me do anything.” Bazine looked up at Ben through her lashes. “Remember that Ben?”

“Honestly, I was drunk or high for most of our “relationship” so no, I don’t. And I don’t want to.” Ben said stoically. “Rey, mother will be expecting us back inside.” 

“Hey! I’m not finished talking to you!” 

“I think we’ve made it pretty clear we’re done.” Rey shrugged. 

“What? Does he need you to speak for him now?” Bazine snarled. 

“Not at all, but since you wouldn’t listen to him, I thought I’d try my luck.” Rey said dryly. “We really should be getting back though. I’m starving.” 

“Of course you are, you kriffing cow!” Bazine laughed, throwing her head back. “Why’d you do it? Hm? The money? He won’t have much of that when Snoke is through with him.”

“Assume what you want. I don’t owe you any explanations.” Rey shrugged, though her grip on Ben was a little tighter. “And after that kriffing article-“

“Rey. Don’t. She’s not worth it. She’s trying to get a reaction.” Ben whispered, his voice relatively even. 

“Every kriffing word of that article was true!”

“Okay, so you’re not just attention seeking, you’re also delusional. That’s fun.” Rey rolled her eyes. “Believe what you want. I don’t care.”

“You’re nothing!” Bazine shrieked, a last ditch effort at garnering a reaction. “Snoke knows everything about you- you’re nothing- less than nothing! Your own parents didn’t even want you! You’re trash from Niima, and you’ll always be trash from Niima!” Ben made a move to step around Rey, his fist clenched tightly at his sides, but Rey stopped him with a hand on his chest and turned back to look at Bazine again. 

“You’re right. I’m nothing. My parents sold me for drinking money. I know that. I’ve always known that. I’m not part of a legacy. I’ve got no money, no family name, nothing. I’m not even particularly pretty.” She said evenly. “But Ben still chose me. And that must just be eating you alive.” Bazine let out a shriek, and lunged for her- in one Swift move Ben had tucked her behind his back defensively. He didn’t lay a hand on Bazine as she shrieked profanity and insults, his barricaded Rey against the oncoming storm. A glance at Rose, still in the door way of the bathroom, showed that she was now filming everything, as Leia had instructed. Rey took a step back and watched for a moment, her vision tinged with red as she watched it all. She wanted nothing more than to step in- she’d done her fair share of fighting over the years, and she knew from unfortunate experience she very well could hold her own against men twice her size, especially given something, anything really, to use as a weapon. She could fight Bazine successfully, she knew she could. If not for Luna, she’d have already stepped in. Especially as Bazine landed a particularly nasty slap across Ben’s face, her sharp ring cutting his upper lip. If her vision had been tinged in red before, now it was bright crimson all around, and she could feel her body preparing for a fight. “That. Is. Enough!” 

“Rey-“ 

“Come on and fight me yourself then!” Bazine spat at her feet. Rey took a step forward, but Ben turned and put a hand on either side of her face. She raised a hand to swipe away the crimson pearl of blood at the corner of his mouth, her hands shaking with rage. 

“She isn’t worth risking everything for.” He said softly. “That’s what Snoke wants out of this exchange. What else could he be after?”

“Okay.” She nodded, her fingertips gently caressing his cheek. Suddenly there was a loud cracking noise, followed by Ben letting out a loud path as a hand flew to the back of his head, and back bloody. Rey peered around him, and saw Bazine working to get off her second black heel- the first lay on the floor behind Ben. “That’s it!” 

“Come and get it you little slut!” Bazine laughed, finally getting her second shoe off. 

“Oh hell no!” Rey’s eyes snapped to Kaydel at the end of the hallway, her eyes narrowed with rage. 

“Hey, Kay, maybe leave it-“ 

“No, Ben, I’m sorry, I’ve seen far too much of this bullshit! This monster wants to fight? Fine, I’ll kriffing fight her, I’m not scared of a bully who would fight a pregnant woman just to feel power!” Kaydel laughed as she tugged off her dangling silver earrings and tossed them to Poe. 

“I’m not scared of you bitch!” Bazine grunted as she turned to face Kaydel, who was approaching rapidly. 

“Kaydel, don’t.” Ben said seriously. “She‘s high off her ass on spice right now.” 

“What?” Rey asked, stepping out to get a better look at things. “How can you tell?” 

“I dated the woman for years when both of us were messed up. I can recognize the way shes acting.” Ben explained. “It’s not an excuse for how she’s acting, but it’s why she’s so unpredictable- I wasn’t sure until I saw the way she keeps curling and uncurling her fingers like that- it’s because spice makes her paranoid.”

“No it doesn’t!” Bazine shook her head. 

“Why are you here tonight Bazine?” Ben asked evenly. 

“Why would anyone want to have a baby with you when it’ll probably end up with your giant ears and anger issues?” Bazine asked, just as evenly- but now that Ben had pointed it out Rey could see her fingers twitching, the sheen under her nose, the dilation of her pupils. “How do you even know the baby is yours? How do you know she’s not using you for your money?”

“Okay, that’s it!” Kaydel laughed, and in a wild blur of silver fabric and blonde hair she tackled Bazine to the ground. All hell broke loose as the two women grappled in floor length dresses- people had started to leak out of the ballroom and into the hall as voices escalated, and finally Poe and Finn managed to get the girls off of each other as Ben whispered frantically to his mother. Kaydel’s hair was out of order and she had a cut across her cheek bone, but Bazine’s eye had already started to bruise and swell shut. 

“We’re leaving.” Ben whispered, putting a firm but gentle Hand on Rey’s lower back to guide her out. “The others will meet us at the back.” 

“Ben!” Bazine called, lunging for him. He angled his body in front of Rey’s again, only to have Bazine smash her mouth inelegantly to his and run her hands over his chest. He tore back as if he’d been burned and wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. “See you later, daddy.” 

“The hell you will!” He growled. Rey stood, stunned, her fist half raised to deck Bazine square in the mouth when two of Leia’s security officers grabbed onto Bazine’s arms and pulled her back. “Let’s go. Now.” He nearly dragged her at first, but she quickly upped her speed to keep pace with him. When they finally reached the emergency exit he’d been heading for, he opened it without hesitation, and a car was waiting for them. He helped her into the back before he went around to the other side. There was a divisor separating them from the driver, but the car started driving as soon as Ben shut his door behind him. “I’m sorry- I was walking too fast for you-“

“No, it’s fine. We’re honestly fine- but you- how are you?” She grabbed his face, and brushed a thumb over his lip tenderly. 

“I’m sorry.” He croaked. 

“Don’t apologize. Not for that. Don’t you dare.” She shook her head firmly. “The others?” 

“Rose is taking her phone and the recordings over to Amilyn directly, Finn is going with her. A second car is going to take Kaydel and Poe home after she gives a security statement.” 

“Shes not going to go to jail or anything for this is she?” 

“Probably not. Bazine could press charges, but then Kaydel could turn her in for drug use, and spice lingers in the bloodstream for weeks on blood tests- and since spice is still illegal, I doubt Snoke wants her getting wrapped up in that.” 

“Okay. Okay.” Rey nodded. “Can I kiss you?” 

“What- you- Rey, you don’t have to ask.” He laughed a little. 

“Well, she did cut your lip. And then she did kiss you without consent, so I wanted to be sure you wanted to be kissed right now. But I really, really would like to kiss you right now. I...it’s driving me a bit mad not to be able to say that I’m the last person that you kissed.” He closed the space between them instead of waiting for her to come to him. His kiss was a little hesitant, but she was alright with that. The cut on his lip wasn’t deep enough to require stitches, but she was sure it was still tender. He sighed into her mouth, and she ran her hands from his face, down his neck to his chest- and paused. “What’s in your breast pocket?” 

“Hm?” He pulled back and glanced down to where her hand rested on his chest. “Nothing- I didn’t have anything.” His hand patted his chest and his eyes grew wide as he pulled out a crisp black envelope- it was small to begin with, she could have concealed it in her own hand, but In Ben’s large hands it looked comically tiny. 

“She must have slipped it in there while she was…” Rey choked on the last word, and shook her head to clear the thought. 

“I think it’s from Snoke. Solid black envelopes tend to be his calling card.” Ben ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. “I should open it. But Maker, I don’t want to.” 

“I could open it for you?” Rey offered. 

“I’ll do it.” He shook his head and tore open the top. She could just make out the stark white card stock trimmed with a thick line of velvety black, and wondered a bit absurdly if this man shopped for his stationary exclusively at a funeral home.

“...you gonna finish opening it, or?” She prompted softly. 

“I will. Just taking a second to think about how tonight should have gone.” He exhaled sharply.

“How should it I have gone?” She smoothed a hand gently over his bicep. 

“It started out right- you looked incredible, we got to face the press Side by side as a married couple, we danced a little, you got the mashed potatoes.” Ben smirked. “Let’s see- we would’ve had our little...rendezvous in the bathroom where I definitely would’ve at least tried to convince you to let me hike your dress up and bend you over the counter-“

“It wouldn’t have taken much convincing.” She admitted, and he made a little noise deep in his throat that had her pressing her thighs together.

“We would’ve come back as casually as possible, but drunk Poe would’ve caught on immediately and given us hell. Gwen and Armitage would’ve gotten there, we would’ve had time to socialize with them before dinner.” His fingers absently traced the edge of the envelope he held. “We actually would’ve had dinner- don’t worry about that, by the way, we have leftovers at home I can heat up for you.”

“I wasn’t worried.” 

“I...I was actually going to play a song, after dinner. My first real public appearance as just myself in over ten years. Mom asked if I would- you know that song the Nerfherders had, “A New Hope”? She asked if I’d be willing to perform it, and I said I would. I was going to surprise you with it too.” 

“I would’ve loved that.” She ran her fingers through his hair to try to find the spot where he’d been hit by the shoe. The gash itself was small, but she vaguely recalled that head wounds tended to bleed like a son of a bitch. A little fresh blood coated her fingers when she pulled them away, but not so much that she was nervous. “How are you acting so normal? You made me forget you were potentially seriously injured!” 

“It’s fine. It’s just a superficial bleeding wound. Should stop on it’s own. I just caught a bit of the edge of her platform heel.” Ben shrugged. 

“Still. I’m allowed to worry about you.” She huffed. Her eyes flickered again to the envelope in his hands. “Ben?” He sighed heavily, and pinched the top of the card between his thumb and forefinger to pull it from the envelope in one clean move. It read:

“Wrong move, Solo. December 26th, 2 in the morning, First Order Studios. You come alone, I’ll know if you don’t. -S”


	37. When We're Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "“Reylo official? Really?” Ben asked as he looked at the screen. 
> 
> “It was the best Rose, Kay, and I could come up with!” Rey said defensively. “It’s a combination of Rey and Solo. Or Rey and Kylo. If you hate it you can try to come up with something better.” 
> 
> “I don’t hate it. Honestly I don’t think I care enough about social media to hate it.” He shrugged. “So. What do we share first?”"
> 
> Rey and Ben dive into the world of social media in an attempt to boost PR, and host a very merry friendsmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little break from most of the angst! Honestly, originally I was writing just one more Christmas themed chapter, but it ended up being so long I had to break it in two for my sanity, so here's the first half! Also, holy cow, this story is ending up much longer than I originally planned for it to be! I apologize, and I hope you're all still hanging in there for the ride!

“I have an idea.” Rey said softly the next morning as they were lying in bed together. They’d been too exhausted and overwhelmed when they got home to do anything but strip out of their formalwear, leaving it flung haphazardly about the room, and wrapped themselves around each other in their bed as they’d fallen asleep.

“About what exactly?” He asked, his voice gruff in the way it always was in the mornings. 

“You’re not going to like it. But hear me out.” 

“That’s what you said when you suggested the name Luna, and that’s what we’ve named our daughter, Isn’t it?” 

“This is...different than that, Ben.” She ran her hand absently over his chest, feeling the peaks and valleys of his muscles and the beat of his heart under her palm. “I think that a good move for PR would be for us to start an Instagram and-“

“Social media Rey? Really?” Ben scoffed. 

“Kylo Ren can’t have an Instagram, but Ben Solo can.” Rey smiled as she recalled the notes Amilyn had left on a list she’d sent them titled: loopholes in Ben’s contract. For such a long document, it was filled with inconsistencies. “You haven’t been able to do an actual interview because the First Order won’t let you? And I’m sure they’ve spun last night in Bazine’s favor already. An Instagram would make you more accessible to the public. More sympathetic. We could share just little, insignificant bits of our life together, and help you gain some positive buzz before this mess goes to trial.”

“If it goes to trial. Snoke might just try to kill me in a few days.” 

“You can’t possibly be thinking of going to that meeting!” 

“Not seriously. But of course I’ve thought about it.” He traced absent patterns on her upper arm and looked at the ceiling. “I’m curious. There’s part of me that wonders what exactly he thinks he has on me aside from the contract. I already know I’ve broken the contract, he doesn’t need a private meeting to tell me that.” 

“A meeting at two in the morning hardly seems like a private meeting- that’s something else. That’s a threat.” Rey insisted.

“I know. Amilyn said as much in the text from last night.” Ben sighed. “So. A social media account.” 

“Why not? We’d run it together. No big fuss. Just us- think about it. You want to distance yourself from First Order, you want to show the world you’re not the monster that Snoke and Bazine are telling the world you are.” She inelegantly pushed herself up into a sitting position, though Ben helped push her up by the shoulders. “We post little things about our life- nothing too personal, obviously, and never Luna herself, but a few cute pictures with our Christmas tree in those awful sweaters your mom got us. You making me blueberry pancakes. A few of our wedding pictures, you know. Your softer side.” 

“Well...I guess it wouldn’t be terrible.” He agreed slowly. “That was one nice thing about Kylo Ren. The relative anonymity. But you’re right. People don’t think much of me right now. Showing them I’m not the unfeeling monster Bazine painted me out to be can’t hurt.” 

“You’re definitely not.” She stretched her arms above her head and yawned. “What time is it?” 

“Just after eleven.” 

“No wonder I have to pee so bad. You mind helping me up?” He was up and offering her a hand before she’d even finished the question.   
…..  
“Reylo official? Really?” Ben asked as he looked at the screen. 

“It was the best Rose, Kay, and I could come up with!” Rey said defensively. “It’s a combination of Rey and Solo. Or Rey and Kylo. If you hate it you can try to come up with something better.” 

“I don’t hate it. Honestly I don’t think I care enough about social media to hate it.” He shrugged. “So. What do we share first?” 

“Probably one of those pictures from our wedding. Show people we’re really married.” She suggested. He nodded as he scrolled through the photos from their wedding, finally landing on one from just after their first kiss- they were both grinning and so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world had melted away. His hand rested gently on the curve of her belly, and hers over his in the warm glow of the lights Leia had hung. 

“This one?” He asked.

“Yeah. That’s a good one.” She smiled, kissing his cheek. “Do we put a caption?” 

“Probably. You want to take care of that part?” He set the phone in her hand. She thought for a moment before she typed: Best Day Ever ❤️💙.

“Good enough?” 

“Perfect.” She hit submit and dropped the phone on the couch cushions beside her before she flopped against Ben’s side and looked up at him. 

“Something wrong?” 

“No. Just can’t believe I just posted something on social media.” He puffed out a quiet laugh. 

“Rose and Kay will be so proud of us.” She grinned wryly at him. “They’ve actually already followed us. They insisted they should be first.” 

“Which of them was actually first?”

“Rose, by like, one minute. Kaydel was quite put out.” 

“Mm. She’ll never be over it.” 

“Absolutely not.” She smiled. 

“How’s Kaydel doing?” 

“Hungover, a few bruises. She said, and I quote “She’s survived worse and she would do it all over again but this time she’d be the one with the sharp rings.”” 

“So the lesson here is really that we should never cross Kaydel.”

“No, we absolutely shouldn’t.” They both chuckled and she sat back and looked at him better. His lip was still a little swollen, and he had several scratches on his pale skin. She reached up to gently caress the back of his head. His hair was damp from showering, but there was no more dried blood in his hair, and no new blood stained her fingers. She felt the uneven surface of the scab and the raised hill of the bump. “How do you feel?”

“I feel pretty good. Lip’s a little tender, maybe, but I can’t even feel the thing on the back of my head really.” He shrugged. “I think I slept more deeply last night than I’ve slept in ages. I feel pretty damn good, all things considered.”

“Mm.” She nodded, still looking at him. He was just so beautiful- his features very well could’ve been carved from marble. His thick, dark, silky soft hair was curling just a little at his nape, and his red t-shirt was stretched taught across his shoulders. “So.”

“So?” 

“I got a really good nights sleep last night too. And You fed me a lot of pancakes this morning. Physically I feel really, really great right now.” She said, running her thumb under the sleeve of his T-shirt. 

“I’m glad.” He smiled down at her. 

“No- like, Ben; I feel really good.” She intoned, allowing her hand to trace along the curve of his bicep. 

“And I’m really glad?” He laughed. 

“I feel really good. But I could feel a lot better.” She insisted.

“More pancakes?” He asked.

“Ben.” 

“Foot rub?” 

“Are you being purposefully obtuse?” She scoffed. He smirked at her, one of his brows arching just so. She gasped and smacked his shoulder lightly. “You are!” 

“I just thinks it’s funny- some days you’re so bold, and other days it’s like you’ll die from embarrassment if you’re the one who proposes sex.” Ben chuckled huskily. She felt her face turn red, and he cupped her cheek with one massive hand. “What would make you feel a lot better, sweetheart?”

“You.” She breathed, tipping her face into his palm and kissing it softly. He let out a sharp breath and Rose from the couch, bending slightly to scoop her up into his arms. “You can’t keep carrying me around like this! I’m huge!” 

“If I can carry a drink off her ass Phasma, I can carry you.” He laughed. “It’s not like I have to take you up any stairs.” 

“If you throw out your back-“

“How old do you think I am?” He scoffed. 

“Mmm, ancient, clearly.” She said dryly as she began kissing his neck, skimming along the column of it with her teeth. “Not at all sexy. Terribly dull and boring.” He let out a little growl as he deposited her on their bed, more gently than he would’ve, had she not been pregnant. 

“Take all of that…” he made a broad gesture to her entire body. “Off. Now.” 

“Is that an order?” She swallowed, her fingers hesitating at the hem of the Henley she wore.

“Yes.” His tone allowed no room for argument, so she obliged slowly, partially to prolong whatever this was, and partially because she didn’t seem to do anything that quickly now that her center of gravity had changed so much. He lost patience with her soon enough, and was on her- his mouth and hands everywhere, licking and sucking and pinching and caressing and her very blood was set ablaze. “Terribly dull and boring my ass.” He muttered against her skin before sucking the skin of her neck between his teeth. 

“We’ll see.” She gasped. 

“Damn right you will.”   
…..   
Later, thoroughly sated and showered for a second time, they reclined on the couch together, a bowl of popcorn resting on top of her baby bump as they watched whatever Christmas movie had been on TV when they turned it on. She honestly wasn’t sure, and between getting up to pee four times, and making out with Ben on and off, she probably couldn’t tell you the main character’s name. She had started to doze against his shoulder when she felt the buzz of a phone. 

“Mine or yours?” She yawned. 

“Yours is in the kitchen, plugged in. But I haven’t seen my phone since-“

“We set up our Instagram and dumped it on the couch.” She finished for him, her fingers scrabbling over the sofa to find the still ringing phone. “Ah- here it is- it’s Rose? Why would Rose be calling you?” 

“Honestly don’t know.” Ben shrugged. Rey answered and put the phone on speaker. 

“Rose? Everything okay?” Rey asked. 

“Have you guys looked at your account?!” Rose squealed. 

“Um, not since we posted the picture? Why are you calling Ben?”

“Because I tried calling you and you didn’t pick up, but I figured you’d be wherever Ben was, obviously!” Rose huffed. “Now, seriously guys, you need to look at your account!” 

“Why?” Ben grumbled nervously. 

“Oh my gosh you guys are the worst! Okay, look, you guys broke some kind of Instagram record- you had a million followers within four hours of going live, and that’s insane!” 

“We have how many?” Rey gasped. 

“Well, the numbers are still climbing Rey Rey, so I’m not actually sure. The comments are really supportive for the most part too! I mean, some diehard Bazine fans are being nasty, but you should see how many people tell them off!” 

“Have you just been digging through our Instagram all day?” Ben asked. 

“How dare you- I do have a life, Solo! But also, to be fair, this has been at least three hours of my life at this point, yes.” Rose huffed. “Guys- it’s insane. Like, this has literally blown up!”

“It’s just a picture!” Rey laughed. 

“Yeah, but when has anyone in the public ever seen Ben smiling like that?! Hashtag Softboi Ben is trending on Twitter!” Rose pointed out. 

“Soft boy Ben?” Ben’s brow was furrowed as he thought it out. 

“Soft boi. B-o-i. With an I. I can tell you’re not saying it right.” Rose corrected. 

“Is that a good thing?” Rey asked. 

“You’re both a hundred years old. Yes, it’s a good thing. It’s a term of endearment.” Rose sighed. “You’ve been called “The internet’s husband”.” 

“Well that’s a step up from “abusive asshole” after the Bazine article dropped.” Ben observed. 

“You think?” Rose said dryly. “Guys, this was a great idea! Honestly, you should probably post another picture tonight, just, feed the rats.” 

“Feed the rats?” Rey asked. 

“Guys. Look up the lingo- I don’t have time to teach you everything.” Rose teased good naturedly. “Trust me, they’ll be thrilled.” 

“What would we even post?” Rey asked. 

“Wow, you guys really are clueless. Literally anything. People post food, pets, selfies, videos. Whatever you want.” 

“Well. I guess we’ll see what we can do.” Ben smiled at Rey, running a hand over her knee. 

“Okay. I love you both! Finn and I have some errands to run! See you on instagram!” Rose hung up promptly, and Ben took his phone back and picked up the bowl of popcorn to set it on the coffee table. 

“What are you up to?” Rey asked, a bit dismayed that her snack was now out of reach. 

“Rose was right. We should post something else.” Ben smiled. “A video. Of us. Playing.” 

“Playing? I can’t play very well right now- can’t exactly fit a guitar and Luna on my lap.” Rey laughed. 

“I’ll play. You’ll sing.” Ben amended. 

“What? Are you serious?” Rey gaped. 

“No one’s seen Ben Solo play for a long time. And it’s like you said to me once, we’re a duo. I play with you, or not at all.” Ben winked. 

“Ben, you’ve got more than a million followers already-”

“We’ve got more than a million followers.” 

“I’m not good enough to sing for a million people.” 

“You absolutely are.” Ben insisted, taking her hand to kiss it gently. “We don’t have to do this, Rey. It was just an idea.” 

“...I’ll think about it.” She allowed. 

“Fair enough.” 

“But I don’t think anyone is interested in hearing me sing.” 

“I think plenty of people would be interested, given the chance.” 

“Ben…”

“What? Just one man's honest opinion.” 

“One biased man’s opinion.” 

“It’s not that I’m biased- Rey, you know how picky I am about music. If I thought you were shit, I wouldn’t be able to keep that from showing on my face.” 

“Okay, but there are a lot of steps between not shit and actually good.” 

“Sweetheart. Trust me. You are actually good.” He cupped her face, and made her look up at him. “You’re better than that, really. You’re incredible, Rey. Anyone who’s heard you knows that. And I know, I know you don’t care about the fame. It was just an idea. You said we should show them little things about our life together. And what’s more “us” than the music we make together?” 

“...I’ll think about it.”   
…………  
“Okay, you two are literally the cutest!” Rose beamed as she took a picture of Rey and Ben in front of their Christmas tree, wearing the matching mama and papa bear pajamas Rey had bought them for their friendsmas. 

“And that’s coming from the girl who made us wear Mr. and Mrs. Clause onesies.” Finn called from the couch. 

“What? We’re also cute, but like, look at them! Look at Rey’s baby bump! It’s the sweetest little family picture!” Rose grinned. “Well, almost. Hold on!” She darted to her bag and came back with a wrapped little bundle. 

“Hey, it’s not time for presents yet!” Rey protested. 

“But it’s picture time, and trust me, you’ll want this for the pictures.” Rose insisted as she pressed it into Rey’s hands. 

“It’s fine, Rey, just open it!” Kaydel insisted. Rey bit her lip as she tore into the green and white polkadot paper to reveal a tiny pair of footed pajamas made of matching red and black flannel, proudly boasting a graphic of a tiny bear with the words “Baby Bear” written over it in a matching font. Rey felt her eyes grow misty while she looked at it, then looked up at Ben who was smiling so beautifully as he looked at it too. 

“Rose- it’s...where did you find this?” Rey asked. 

“Etsy. You can find most anything on etsy.” Rose shrugged, her smug smile showing how pleased she was by the reaction to her gift. “Now hold it up between the two of you!” They each took a shoulder, and held it between them in front of the tree as they smiled brightly at each other until Rose pointedly reminded them to look at the camera. “These are gorgeous! Completely instagram worthy. Since you know. You haven’t posted a picture in like two days. One photo does not a successful profile make.”

“Tell that to our three million followers.” Ben grumbled. 

“Yeah, how many do you have? What was it? Nine hundred?” Rey teased. 

“Oh shut up!” Rose laughed. “It’s not my fault I’m not famous enough to break the internet.” 

“We know you would if you could.” Kaydel said sympathetically, and then she hopped up. “Okay, That’s enough pictures of Rey and Ben, Finn, Get your ass up there, we’ve gotta get our Santa and Mrs. Claus pictures.” 

“Damn, Kay, you don’t have to order me around, I’ll go willingingly.” Finn chuckled. 

“Rey, you go sit down and relax, Ben, probably rub her feet, they look a little swollen.” Kaydel ordered. 

“I love it when you get so take charge babe.” Poe grinned, pulling her down for a kiss as she went to take Rose’s place as photographer. Rose tossed Ben his phone, and Rey sunk into the couch cushions. He sat next to her and swept up her feet into his lap to rub them.

“You don’t actually have to rub my feet, Ben.” She chuckled. 

“I don’t know, I think we agreed we wouldn’t be pissing Kaydel off, and she did give me a direct order.” Ben winked. In all fairness her feet were a little swollen, and his massive hands anywhere on her body would always be heaven. “Here. Why don’t you pick the best picture, Rose is going crazy waiting for a second post.” 

“Alright.” Rey smiled as she took the phone from him and scrolled through the camera roll. “Damn, Rosie, how many pictures did you take?!” 

“Several!” Rose called. 

“Several thousand?!” Rey gaped. 

“You guys are just too cute!” Rose insisted. Rey just laughed as she scrolled through the never ending pictures. 

“This one is sweet.” Rey turned the phone to Ben, showing him one of the pictures where they held the onesie between them. They both were looking down at it with soft smiles and you could tell she had tears in her eyes. 

“I like it.” He nodded in approval. 

“Okay. I’ll post it.” Rey smiled as she got to work, and Ben kept rubbing her feet. She captioned the image “We can’t wait to meet you, Baby Bear 💙❤️” and posted it before she set the phone aside. “She keeps doing this wriggling thing- not quite kicking, not quite somersaulting, just wiggling.” 

“No more of those Braxton Hicks today?” He asked softly, his thumb circling her ankle bone. 

“Not since I woke you up this morning. Sorry about that, by the way.” 

“No need to apologize, sweetheart, you were freaking out. I’m glad I could help you calm down a little.” He assured her. Behind them Kaydel and Poe had taken the spot in front of the tree, and Poe had just jumped on Kaydel’s back, the toes of his elf slippers jingling over their laughter. 

“I mean, I was briefly convinced I was going into labor. Very frightening stuff. Especially when I’m a quite a few weeks out.” She shrugged. 

“Well, I’m very glad it was a false alarm.” He squeezed her calf gently. 

“Me too. I know she’s not like, super early if she comes now, but it’s still too soon, you know? She’s not done growing in there.” Rey smiled a little mournfully at the thought that Luna was still going to get bigger, though her body already felt stretched to the limit. Still, it was a necessary sacrifice for a healthy baby and she was happy to make it. 

“Yes. Best if she stays put a little while longer.” Ben nodded. 

“Yeah, I want her to come out all cute and chubby, with lots of hair so she needs more time to bake!” Rose called over her shoulder. 

“We are trying, Rose.” Rey laughed. “But she could come out bald.”

“With the Solo genetics she’s getting? Please.” Kaydel scoffed. “Now. Pictures have been taken, pizza has been eaten, after dinner eggnog has been distributed- I suppose that makes it time for presents, then a Christmas movie, but not until after we build a blanket Fort.”

“Are you suggesting we’re going to build a fort in our living room?” Ben asked. 

“Not suggesting so much as informing.” Kaydel grinned. “After all, it’s tradition. We’ve been doing these Friendsmas forts since Rey’s first Christmas with us. Since before the boys were actually a part of friendsmas! Speaking of, I call dibs on being the big spoon in the traditional Rey, Rose, Kaydel cuddle pile!”

“Who actually wants to be the big spoon?” Rose scoffed. 

“You’ll have to be the middle this year Rosie, I don’t think Luna and I will fit.” Rey smirked. 

“So I’m the big spoon and the little spoon? Mm. I guess I can handle that.” Rose smiled as she grabbed blankets from the back of a chair. 

“Now I feel left out- should we have our own cuddle pile?” Poe asked. 

“I mean, I guess, but Ben will have to be the big spoon. Honestly I’m not sure how one manages to spoon someone with a frame that large.” Finn observed as he helped Kaydel carry some kitchen chairs that she’d deemed necessary for fort construction.

“Rey manages just fine.” Ben pointed out. 

“Wait- seriously? Rey, are you the big spoon when you cuddle?!” Poe snickered. 

“Not always. But since half way through the pregnancy I have found that I sleep better wrapped around Ben, yes, but that’s usually with him on his back and I’m partway draped over him.” Rey shrugged. “Though Ben really does make an excellent big spoon. Cuddling him feels very safe.” 

“Are these all the blankets you have?” Kaydel asked as she grabbed another from the pile on the ottoman. 

“How many blankets do you need?” Ben huffed. 

“Hey, this is our first time building a blanket fort in an actual house! We can make it well and truly giant, so we absolutely are going to!” Rose laughed. 

“Fair enough.” Ben sighed. “...There are more blankets in the hallway closet.”


End file.
